A Fox and a Shark Walk into a Bar
by Gigabomb
Summary: AU In a universe where Itachi and Kisame succeeded in capturing Naruto, an Akatsuki delegation is sent to Konoha to negotiate a treaty in the midst of war. The only problem is, everyone in Konoha thinks Naruto is dead.
1. Getting Beat Up While Drunk

Author's Note: I love Naruto. I want more of it. This is actually part of a larger story arc that is only in my head and will never get written down, but the bar scene was just. . . yeah. I have never written Naruto before, and for other reasons feel I may have screwed this up, but this was a blast to write. Bother me enough and I might write more.

Naruto would have liked to pretend that he didn't know how he and Kisame ended up at a bar, but that would have been a lie, and though he couldn't care less about what he said to most other people, he had never made a practice of lying to himself.

They had succeeded in their mission, but that was a given. The day the four of them failed at something was the day Naruto went back to Konoha. . . and that was the problem. Less than two days after Gaara had smothered that fat, corrupt-beyond-belief representative from the Cloud Country, and something less than an hour after they had gotten back to headquarters, the Council had summoned them, and informed the exhausted (fine, only Naruto and Kisame were tired in the least, but hell, it was his inner monologue) assassins that they would be leaving the next day. On another mission. To Konoha. To have a conference with the local shinobi and their Hokage, all of whom thought he was dead. He really didn't want to explain why he wasn't.

-You aren't near drunk enough. Pound back another one. I want to be absolutely plastered by the time we stagger out of here.-

((You're the fox.)) He normally wasn't in the habit of listening to Kyuubi, but hey, when a guy's right, he's right. He reached for the sake bottle. A hand gripping his wrist stopped him.

"Brat, I'm pretty sure three's your limit. You're on seven. I'm cutting you off."

" 'm fine." A sudden array of stars crossed Naruto's vision as he crashed to the floor. The bar's denizens glanced at the source of the sound, but the sight of a kid drunk off his ass was nothing new. They went back to their drinks.

"If you were fine, you could have dodged that in your sleep. Go back to your partner. We leave tomorrow, and you really don't want the hangover." Naruto hauled himself to his feet. He was tired, angry, and nervous as hell, but right now angry was all he could deal with.

"I'm not a kid, you're not my father, and I can get as drunk as I want!"

Why had he invited the fucking shark along, anyway? Just because he was the only other of the four who would even consider drinking before a mission didn't mean he had to ask him. He could have asked. . . come alone, hell, drinking wasn't a team sport, for fuck's sake.

Just because Itachi and Kisame were the most celebrated partnership in the Akatsuki, just 'cause he and Gaara were demons-in-human-form (that's what a lot of people called them, Naruto didn't buy it, demons didn't give a shit about what former friends thought, they didn't even have former friends to worry about), they got all the kamikaze missions, or at least all the stupidly painful ones. Whose bright idea was it to have missing-nins of Konoha (and their partners) go to Konoha to hammer out a truce? It was a terrible idea. Offhand, he couldn't think of anyone on the Council who was brain damaged, but obviously they were all equally demented and Naruto just hadn't noticed. ((That's what I get for sleeping through the briefings.))

Itachi hadn't been happy. Neither had anyone else, but Itachi was the most pissed about it (besides Naruto, but Naruto was more depressed angry than homicidally inclined, and Itachi's anger was far more impressive). Not that anyone outside the four could tell, it took years of experience to know the difference between the 'you are idiots' eye flash and the 'get out of the blast radius, you fools!' eye flash. It had definitely been the latter, and Naruto had wished desperately to be nearer to the door. Things had almost gone downhill from there, but Kisame had mentioned dinner, and Itachi recognized the distraction for what it was, accepted it, and left, presumably to brood, which he did much better than Sasuke. Of course, Itachi did everything better than Sasuke, except for the spoiled-child act, but that wasn't a particularly worthy achievement. It was probably that exact act that Itachi wanted to avoid by staying away from the land of his origin. His little brother was even more annoying than other people's little brothers. You'd think after eight years a guy would get over the murder of his family already.

Gaara disappeared about five minutes later, to find a place to meditate, most likely, which left only Naruto and Kisame, and Kisame was already walking off. Naruto hadn't wanted to be alone just then, so he tagged along.

It had probably been pity on Kisame's part that they ended up at a ramen shop and not one of the sushi places that the former mist shinobi favored. They ate in silence, and the owner knew better than to bother two ninja in bad moods, despite one of them being his best customer. When Naruto reached for his money pouch and realized he had left it back at his apartment, it was a toss up between pity and the desire to avoid property damage (Naruto was prone to this when frustrated) that Kisame paid for his dinner as well his own.

Standing in the doorway of the apartment he shared with his partner, and seeing a distinct lack of Gaara, Naruto made a split second decision, snatched his yen off the dresser and ran over to where Kisame was entering his own place (this was across the hall from Naruto's location of residence, so took less than a few seconds) and suggested they hit the Sloshed Stoat before turning in. Kisame, apparently, had used up his well of charity for the week, and only agreed after Naruto said he was paying. Kisame also took the time to mention that Naruto was going to have a pretty hard time getting a drink seeing as they usually didn't let children into bars. Naruto glared up at the taller shinobi. Sometimes there were disadvantages to knowing someone so well they knew all your weak spots. A combination of youthful features and a less than impressive stature made Naruto seem younger than he really was, and getting carded every time they went anywhere was starting to become a sore point with him. Even though the less than subtle insult made him bristle, Naruto kept himself from saying the first cutting thing that came to mind, as he wasn't really in the mood for a full-out shouting match. Seven drinks later, a fight was sounding much more appealing.

And that, Naruto concluded glumly while he pulled himself out of the wall Kisame had thrown him through, was exactly how he and Kisame had ended up at a bar.

-

Well, not exactly. It perhaps would be more interesting to find out how he and Kisame had gotten to a point in their relationship (thankfully platonic, as Naruto couldn't have dealt with another person hitting on him; he didn't know how Itachi got through each day without killing someone (this deserves another brackets, as in fact Itachi rarely went through a day without ripping someone's throat out, but Naruto had a minor concussion and couldn't be bothered with the details)) where Naruto could invite him out for sake drinking in a seedy bar on the bad side of town, considering four years ago Naruto was ready to tear the shark man's head off at the slightest opportunity. Not that an opportunity ever came. Binding seals were such a bitch.

However, Naruto was less worried about the past and in a complete panic about the future, and gave himself a mental stomp after his short bout of reminiscing. It wasn't really worth getting hit by Kisame again for one more drink, and Naruto stumbled towards the door before his partner in bar hopping reminded him he was paying. He really would have hit him if the bastard would stand still for two seconds. . . huh. Guess he was drunker than he originally thought. Life sucked that way. Now, onto the real dilemma: how was he going to break it to Hinata that his reason for standing her up wasn't, well, death? She actually believed all that 'nothing can tear you away from me' true love bullshit. Hm. He'd have to ponder that one for a while, or he'd probably screw it up in some unfathomable way. Girls were complicated about that sort of thing.


	2. Waking Up Late & Walking in the Rain

Author's Note: Here is more semi-serious humor from the life of Naruto on his way to Konoha.

Despite Kisame's attempts to keep him some distance away from dead-drop drunk the night before, Naruto still woke up the next day with a pounding headache that felt like some particularly vicious ghost was throwing rocks inside his skull. Heavy, sharp rocks. A never ending pile of them. Probably that stupid jounin from the Stone Country who had challenged him last week.

Opening his eyes proved to be a mistake. Gaara, though not unattractive, was not the most pleasant person to wake up to.

"You were out drinking again." This might have sounded accusatory coming from anyone else, but Gaara's tone, as usual, was uninterested. However, first thing in the morning Naruto wasn't up to criticism.

"Yeah? What of it?"

"We have a mission today."

((No, really?)) While he might have said this out loud to anyone else, the sarcasm was wasted on Gaara. The sand-nin would give him one of those inscrutable looks that said 'you are wasting air simply by existing,' get up, and leave. So instead, Naruto sighed and pulled the covers back over his head.

"Yeah, well, wake me up five minutes before we leave."

"We are leaving now."

"Huh!" Now thoroughly awake, Naruto looked at his bedside alarm clock in dread. Nine thirty. He had set the thing for eight. "Wuh!"

"You slept through your alarm again."

"Why didn't you get me-"

"I wasn't here." Of course. Gaara slept rarely. Most of the night he spent meditating in the woods or talking to himself. Or brewing coffee, which no one else could drink, as induced insomnia for up to three weeks. This had been proven on an unknowing test subject, who thought it was decaf.

((Kabuto still can't handle the strong stuff)) Naruto thought to himself, and snickered. The healing shinobi had joined the Akatsuki after a rather brutal fight with Orochimaru, starting with 'we never talk anymore' and ending with five broken ribs, a broken nose and two black eyes.

((Which is why Kimimaro finally learned never to walk in on those two when they're having a row.)) How long did that idiot take to heal? A month?

They had since made up, but decided it was probably not the best idea to be dating when one of them worked for the other, so Kabuto stuck with the Akatsuki. He rarely went on missions, but was usually the one to patch up the members who were wounded while completing their assignments. As a former member, Orochimaru was allowed on the grounds without being brutally slaughtered, and they were kind of sweet together, in a disturbing, psychopathic, kinky sort of way.

"Shit!" Back to the present, where Naruto was late. He threw on his clothes as fast as possible, but he'd barely gotten his pants on when someone threw open the door right into Naruto's nose.

"Kid, you're slowing us. . . what happened to you?" Kisame, Naruto noted sourly, showed no traces of a hangover, and in fact looked disgustingly sober.

"The door attacked me."

"What, again?" Before Naruto could think up a suitable response to this, Itachi walked into the room.

"We are leaving." And that was it. Naruto wasn't the sharpest shurikan in the pouch, but even he knew no one argued with Itachi. No one.

-

Except for this very stupid innkeeper.

"I'm sorry, we're full."

"Excuse me?" Itachi's voice was calm. Polite even. Naruto backed up a couple of feet and started looking for possible escape routes. Gaara didn't visibly tense, but the sand shifting around his feet let the blond shinobi know of the sand-nin's agitation. Kisame didn't move at all, but Naruto had long since accepted the fact that Kisame would probably kill himself if he thought it would please Itachi.

"The last two rooms were taken a few minutes ago by a nice young group of kids." The old man shrugged. "Sorry," not looking particularly apologetic.

Itachi was quiet for a moment. "Are there any other inns in town?"

"Yes, but they're all full too. The Spring Festival starts tomorrow and it's very popular."

"It is raining outside."

"Can't do anything about that."

"What rooms were the last guests in?"

"Let me see. . ." The innkeeper ruffled through his registration book. "Ah, here we are. . . twelve and thirteen, second floor." Itachi glanced behind him.

"Gaara?" The scarlet-haired shinobi nodded and turned towards to stairs. The innkeeper started to protest, but one look at Itachi's now blood-red eyes made the old man suddenly very interested in the floor. Upstairs, there was one muffled scream, and then silence. Gaara came back down. Itachi looked at the innkeeper.

"The rooms are now free."

"Uh. . ." Another eye flash. "Sure. Names?"

"Red Moon." Again came out the book. Some names were furiously scribbled out and another scratched in. Naruto couldn't figure out why Itachi insisted on using the moniker. If anyone who knew what the Akatsuki were for some reason actually saw the registration book, they would know what Red Moon meant. Sometimes Naruto thought Itachi did stuff just because he thought it looked cool. Like coming to Konoha in 'disguse,' wearing cloaks with red clouds that couldn't more conspicuous if they had yellow rubber duckies all over them. Or using Red Moon to hide their identities, which, while sounding admittedly awesome, really didn't do much to keep them unnoticeable. Neither did killing a bunch of people for their rooms, but Naruto was willing to concede on that one. No way was he going to sleep in the rain when there were nice warm beds around.

"I would give you your keys, but the previous occupants. . ." Gaara held out two keys. Both were dripping blood mixed with sand onto the floor. The innkeeper's voice faded, but he valiantly tried to keep his professionalism. "Ah, there they are."

Gaara handed one key to Itachi. "This is for room thirteen. Watch out for the body of the girl. Mother was already full by the time we got to her." Kisame grinned.

"Good for me. I'm starving." Naruto could never tell if Kisame was joking when he talked like that. Probably was. He had looked slightly queasy when Naruto had offered him the liver of that sumo wrestler last month. Not that Naruto could blame him. Even in fox form, fatty foods didn't really agree with him. He had been sick the next day. Puking up the small intestine hadn't been a pleasant experience. Stupid doctors. No matter what they said, the small intestine was anything _but_.

-

Naruto fell back onto the bed with a satisfied sigh. He had half expected to find the room strewn with blood, but Shukaku was very thorough when hungry. He couldn't see signs of murder anywhere.

The headache had disappeared by lunchtime. Naruto knew it was due in no small part to his demon-enhanced healing abilities, but he was grateful for it just the same. They had been walking all day, Naruto grumbling under his breath through the morning because of the missed breakfast, but his temper had eased when the town they had come to at noon had a ramen shop with barbeque pork, which tasted wonderful, as hungry as he was.

The journey had been made in silence, which Naruto still wasn't used to, even after almost four years of being with Kisame and Itachi on missions, and being partnered with Gaara for two. It was still a little eerie. Back when he was a genin, Sasuke had been the most silent of the group, and even he had felt the need to say something sarcastic at least once every fifteen minutes. But Itachi and Gaara spoke rarely, and Kisame was inclined to brooding when left alone with his thoughts. All of this left Naruto with very little to do, so he tended to be the one to scout ahead, playing games with himself as to how close he could get to the group before someone spotted him. Not very. Powerhouse he may be, but by shinobi standards he was outright loud, though his stealth abilities were much improved in comparison to before.

It had started raining in the late afternoon, and had only gotten worse as the day wore on. Itachi had borne it stoically, Kisame had seemed to enjoy it in some weird way, and Gaara's sand as always protected him, no matter how silly it looked to have an umbrella of dirt. Naruto hated rain. It was cold, miserable, and killed his enhanced smell and hearing so he felt half blind. The day he had been captured, it had been raining.

But that was then. Now they were inside with a soft bed, and a steaming hot bath in the next room. Naruto was content. As long as he didn't think about the fact that at best he had a little more than a day before they arrived in Konoha, and he had to face his old friends. And tell them why he hadn't come back.


	3. Arguing with Stubborn People

Author's Note: Two chapters in two days. Huh. Well, whatever. I write this fic for my own amusement, not for anyone else's, which is probably why this thing is actually getting written. Added a much needed paragraph to Naruto's inner rant, making it much more entertaining.

The opposition against allowing the Akatsuki representatives to enter Konoha was loud and fierce. Despite the necessity of the alliance, Tsunade couldn't help on some level agreeing with them. Though they had started with only nine members, in the six years since its founding the Akatsuki had grown to such proportions that the numbers of its ninja rivaled that of the smaller shinobi villages, and every single one of the Akatsuki was jounin or better. Almost all of the most powerful missing-nin had long since joined the Akatsuki out of sheer necessity, and fear of its strongest shinobi. They were a threat that far exceeded that of any other enemy, even Orochimaru's Sound Village, and no one could see a reason for them to want to ally with the Leaf. So it had to be a trap. At least that's how the more paranoid Konoha ninja saw it.

"They are sending four shinobi to hammer out the truce. That number is ridiculous, especially taking into consideration that among them number Uchiha Itachi and Gaara of the Sand." Most of the shinobi in the room couldn't help but glance at two young ninja speaking quietly in the corner. Kankuro and Temari were the only survivors of the slaughter of Sand Village, all of the others killed at the hands of Gaara mere days before he joined the Akatsuki two years ago. No one knew why, but it was rumored the Akatsuki had used it as an entrance exam, though this was little more than hearsay. Kankuro and Temari had stumbled into the Leaf a few weeks after the attack, ashen-faced and exhausted. Tsunade had taken them in. She too knew the pain of loss, but many of the Leaf suspected Kankuro and Temari to be spies for the Akatsuki. Why else would they be the only ones spared? These suspicions were heightened by the knowledge that Kankuro and Temari were the siblings of the killer. Privately Tsunade thought Gaara had spared his brother and sister out of some lingering sibling affection and had no ulterior motives, but despite her considerable pull as Hokage it had taken the support of Jiraiya and Kakashi for the villagers to finally accept the two, though both Kankuro and Temari insisted on keeping their Sand forehead protectors. They had since made jounin, but spoke rarely and worked with no one but each other. Despite Tsunade's concern, neither of them had worked through their grief. The sannin wasn't sure it was their village they mourned for.

"Councilor, your advice is appreciated, but you're being ridiculous. The Akatsuki consists of shinobi, and only shinobi. They do not have diplomats to send us. They assigned some of their strongest members to the task as a sign they are taking us seriously."

"Sending the murderer of the Uchiha Clan is a deliberate attempt to mock us! We should. . ."

"This discussion is over, Councilor Yamamoto. They are arriving tomorrow. This has already been decided. We are merely convened here to determine how to best deal with the Akatsuki, not to decide whether to accept their being here in the village." Tsunade's tone was cool, and brooked no argument. Yamamoto still tried.

"But. . ."

"Councilor, you know as well as I do that we need this alliance. Constant fighting with the Mist and Cloud on the eastern border have significantly weakened us, and though they have not attacked us in some time, the last battle we had with the Sound killed off of many of our strongest fighters. The Sand were our strongest allies and they can't help us now. The Stone have isolated themselves, and the smaller villages have to take care of their own people. If we do not ally with the Akatsuki, within a decade the Leaf will collapse."

A sullen silence fell over the assembly, which was soon broken by Kakashi walking in, late as usual. "So, what did I miss?"

Tsunade glared at the copy-ninja, but after so many years even she accepted that nothing short of war could force Kakashi to be on time. "Just the usual bickering after everything has already been agreed upon."

"Ah. By the way, Hokage-sama, I just got some information. The Akatsuki representatives are making better time than expected. They'll be here by tonight."

Tsunade felt her eyes widen. "What? We aren't ready! All of the daimyos aren't here yet and where did you get this information?"

Kakashi shrugged. "One of the ANBU scouts spotted them about fifty miles away about half an hour ago and sent a messenger pigeon." He dug a scroll out of his pocket. "He also gave some specifics too about the shinobi they sent. As expected, two of the shinobi are Uchiha Itachi and Gaara of the Sand. One of the others in Hoshigaki Kisame, Uchiha Itachi's partner and a Mist renegade. The last was unidentified, and his lack of a forehead protector means we have no idea what village he is from. The ANBU wasn't able to get close enough to get any defining characteristics except the fact that the last representative has blond hair tied back in a short horsetail. He wore an Akatsuki cloak, but that tells us nothing but what we already know."

Tsunade nodded sharply and turned to Shizune. "Are their rooms ready?" Her assistant nodded. The Hokage sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Well, we'd better get started. Move out, people."

As the shinobi filed out of the room, Kakashi noticed Sasuke brooding in a corner. At age sixteen, the heir to the Uchiha clan had achieved the third pinwheel of the Sharingan, but had not yet managed to use the mange Sharingan, which constantly rankled the young man, as he knew that he was still far below his brother in skill. "Sasuke, you know you cannot fight Itachi while he is here under a flag of truce." The hands crossed across the young prodigy's chest momentarily clenched into fists, but he nodded tightly. Kakashi nodded back, and turned to leave. He wasn't surprised to see Sakura standing hesitantly by the door. Though she had long given up on Sasuke as a love interest and instead had started to return the taijutsu specialist Rock Lee's affections, she still cared for the Uchiha greatly.

"Is he. . ."

"He'll be fine. It's just hard for him to deal with the fact that if the alliance comes through, he'll never get the chance to fight Itachi again. It's difficult to give up on a goal you've had for half your life, but Sasuke is strong. And he has too many ties to the Leaf to abandon the village for vengeance." Sakura nodded, only looking slightly reassured. Kakashi smiled at her. She had grown up to be a fine young woman, becoming a chuunin without the help of her teammates, Sasuke being distant and Naruto being. . . well. That was still hard to think about. Her lack of great stamina had moved her to specialize in genjutsu, illusion techniques, as her ability to see through them was her only true standout characteristic. All in all, she had far progressed beyond Kakashi's expectations, and he fully expected her to be one of the best candidates at next year's jounin exams.

"Trust me, Sakura. He will not leave us." They both glanced at the shinobi in question, who was gazing out the window, a contemplative look on his face. Sakura sighed.

"I hope you're right, Kakashi-sensei."

-

"Brother, what are you going to do?" Kankuro glanced at his sister, standing beside him on the top of a small hill to the south of Leaf Village.

"Why would you think I was going to do anything?"

"Gaara is coming."

"You think I hold the Suna Village against him."

"Don't you?" The puppeteer shook his head.

"The gods know, I used to. But I've had two years to think about it, Temari. And I can't help but think that it wasn't entirely undeserved. The villagers. . . seeing how they treated Gaara, remembering how we used to treat him. . . Gaara wasn't raised with anything resembling morals, or a conscience. It may have been horrible, but there wasn't any reason for him not to do it. They treated him like. . . like. . ."

"A monster."

"Yeah, and they didn't treat us much better. I remember thinking that I was wrong about Gaara getting better after we attempted to invade Konoha, but I think he actually did get better. Why else would he leave us alive?" Temari sighed.

"I kind of agree with you, Kankuro, but don't go around talking about your forgiveness of our baby brother. The Sand were the Leaf's most powerful allies. Your view wouldn't be appreciated."

"Of course not. I'm not an idiot, Temari."

"That could be successfully argued to the contrary." That earned a dirty look from the younger sand-nin. The fan-wielder ignored it. "But really, what are you going to do?"

"It kind of depends on Gaara." A grin.

"Doesn't it always?"

"Yeah. Let's go get some miso. I'm starving."

-

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Now?"

"Kid, shut up before I shove something unpleasant in an unfortunate place." Naruto huffed, but he did stop. The closer they got to Konoha, the more nervous he became. He had already killed three squirrels and a large pigeon when their movement on the edge of his peripheral vision had kick-started his survival training and he had thrown kunai on instinct. This had provided them lunch but gave Naruto no peace of mind. He had tried mulling over the problem, but his brooding skills had always been sub-par and they weren't getting any better. So instead he irritated the others. This proved rather difficult, as Gaara and Itachi ignored him and Kisame only tolerated the annoyance for a few minutes before quickly putting an end to it.

He had little more than six hours before they arrived at Leaf Village. Damn it, he wasn't ready for this! He had thought he had left his miserable life at Konoha behind. ((Not completely miserable.)) A little voice at the back of his head reminded him, but Naruto brushed that aside. A few months of happiness didn't make up for years of pain and cruelty, of being hurt and taunted, treated as something less than human. Even after four years, even slightly wary looks set him off, reminding him of the pain of being despised, or at best forgotten.

Which is why in the end, after the seal had been removed and he could move freely, he had stayed. It was probably sad that he could only find acceptance in a group full of freaks and merciless killers, but he would take it where he could get it. The pain of loneliness was vastly underestimated. To quote something Gaara had once told him, 'It is the inner wounds that hurt the most.' And Naruto knew it to be true.

Sometimes he wondered why Itachi had killed the Uchiha Clan. Though he lacked compassion, Naruto had never seen the Sharingan wielder kill anyone unless it was completely necessary.

Well, except for the boarders at the inn. And that one Cloud shinobi two weeks ago, but he had deserved it. When you're stupid enough to try and flirt with Itachi, from then on anything that happens can easily be attributed to Darwin. Okay, there was also the village girl who wouldn't stop bothering them, and it wasn't like Itachi had actually killed her, he had just used some genjutsu and the cliff had just happened to be there. . . well, there was also that cloth merchant. And the fisherman. . . wait, that had been Kisame. . . what had he been thinking about again? Oh yeah, the murder of the Uchiha Clan.

Maybe there was no good reason. Certainly there wasn't one that could satisfy Sasuke. Not that it mattered. After this, Naruto vowed he would never return to Konoha. Besides, the ramen there sucked.

"Naruto." The former leaf-nin looked up, startled to see that he fallen far behind the others. Gaara was waiting for him. "You're nervous."

"So?"

"Temari and Kankuro are also in Leaf Village." Silence.

"And?"

"I do not know how they will react to seeing me." Naruto couldn't help but smile. Awkward though the attempt was, Gaara's efforts to reassure him were appreciated.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to face their disgust and fear together then."

"Yes." Gods, Gaara was such a maladjusted freak. No wonder they were partners, besides both being demon-possessed and short.

Kisame and Itachi were still walking. "Damn it, don't those two ever wait?" Naruto ran to catch up. Stalling wouldn't make the anticipation any better. If he had to face them, better sooner than later. And then he could go back to his life of difficult missions, ridiculously strong coffee, and going out for drinks with people he had formerly tried his darndest to kill. Right now, it absolutely sounded wonderful.


	4. Remembering While Trying to Forget

Author's Note: Wow. This is turning out a lot more popular than I thought it would be. Reviews sure do feel good. Anyway, to answer some questions, the update schedule will probably from now on will be about once a week. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less. And I do like constructive criticism. Notice the word constructive. You might want to reread chapter three. I added some stuff to Naruto's inner monologue which actually keeps the chapter in line with the humor genre.

On occasion, Naruto liked to reflect back on his first mission with Itachi and Kisame. Gaara had not yet joined the Akatsuki, and he had still had that stupid seal which stopped him from either summoning the Kyuubi's power or going within two days walking distance of Konoha.

It had sucked. Majorly. He had been captured barely a week before, had fully expected to have the Kyuubi extracted from him and then killed or something else done to him equally evil and nefarious. Instead, the mysterious, shadowy leader of the Akatsuki had taken one look at him and proclaimed he didn't eat enough.

It was strangely disconcerting to realize that the leader of one of the most feared shinobi syndicates in the world was a woman. Naruto had never been consciously sexist. It just so happened that the most powerful ninja he knew were all men. Then there was Hirayama Reiko. A missing-nin from the Stone Country, who had grown bored with the isolationist policy of her village and left as soon as she achieved the rank of jounin, to seek out jutsu where ever she could find them. Specializing in ninjutsu, she still had the ability to punch so hard that it was said in a fit of anger she once split a mountain in two. Despite all this, Reiko was not the strongest member of the Akatsuki. Itachi for one could defeat her. She just happened to have the biggest shinobi information network in the world, garnered from her extensive travels. And it was information that the Akatsuki most desired. The knowledge of where to find the strongest opponents, the best clients, and the strongest jutsus. The vote was unanimous when it came to choosing who would lead the Red Moon.

On his first encounter with her, Naruto knew none of this. After being dragged for days away from the only home he had ever known, he hadn't been ready for a woman in her fifties that could have been twenty years younger, but acted like his grandmother. Or how he had always imagined a grandmother would act like.

She had promptly snapped the chakra cuffs that held him and carried him off to town, completely ignoring Kisame and Itachi who were still standing where they had since they first presented their prisoner to her. Naruto complained the entire way and tried to get her to let go of him, but her grip was stronger than he expected. He stopped resisting when they got to the ramen stand and she told the owner she would pay for whatever 'the kid could manage to stuff his face with.' Hirayama Reiko earned Naruto's eternal loyalty from then on out. So did the ramen stand, which was far better than Naruto was used to.

While he ate, Reiko explained the situation to him. "I've had Itachi-kun (Itachi had never struck Naruto as someone anyone could address in such a familiar manner) and Kisame-kun (if anything, that sounded even weirder) track you for some time, Naruto-chan." While the –chan was somewhat insulting, and a bit too friendly for someone that despite her feeding him _had_ ordered him kidnapped, Naruto's mouth was too full of ramen for him to respond.

"While it seems the sannin has done a decent job teaching you to harness the power of the Kyuubi, he lacks a true understanding of what to do with you. You have not yet entered puberty, Naruto-chan, and it is then your power will start to bloom. You are not prepared for it." Naruto swallowed enough to pose a question. It probably should have surprised him that yet another person knew about the demon possessing him, but when a whole village knows about it, even a ninja village, other people are bound to find out.

"What's that got to do with having red-eyes and shark-face kidnap me?" Reiko laughed.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a kidnapping, Naruto-chan, but you deserve an explanation. The seal the Fourth Hokage put on you was strong, but meant to be purely temporary. Your power until very recently has never been addressed. And right now you only have nominal control of the Kyuubi. In fact," and at this the Akatsuki leader's face grew suddenly solemn, "You really have no control over him at all. You simply bargain with him when you need him most. Right now you hold the key to his cell, Naruto-chan, but as you grow older, his prison will weaken, and he will eventually break out. If that happens, you will seek to exist." Naruto choked on his lunch.

"What?" At least that is what he meant to say. It came out rather more mangled than that, but seemed to get the basic idea across.

"Keep in mind, Naruto-chan, you are the vessel for the Kyuubi. If you grow weaker than the one possessing you, he will overpower you, and he is strong enough that he doesn't need to imprison you. He could destroy you entirely. And that's where I come in.

"I've traveled around quite a bit. I've seen a lot more than most people, including demons. And half-demon hybrids. Only a handful of possessed humans such as yourself, but a few have managed to survive their adolescence, and I know how they did it. Naruto-chan, you are strong, but the Kyuubi is one of the most powerful demons in the world. Certainly the most powerful to ever possess a human. Without help, expert help, you will not make it past twenty." Naruto was having trouble swallowing. The ramen didn't look so tasty anymore, though he hadn't eaten a full meal in almost three days.

"Why would you help me?" Reiko's eyes softened.

"You remind me of my little brother."

"Really?"

"Actually no, you don't. I was lying." The former stone-nin grinned. "You're way cuter than he was." Naruto felt awkward. What do you say to something like that?

"I'm sorry."

"So am I."

"What happened to him?"

"He grew up, got married, and stopped maintaining his physique. Now he looks older than I do and weighs more than a well-fed pig." Reiko sighed. "Nothing angers me more than people squandering what the gods gave them. Or in your case, what the Fourth Hokage gave you. I hate to see talent wasted, Naruto-chan." Even to Naruto, hardly the most worldly of shinobi, this seemed like kind of a weak reason to send two S-class criminals to kidnap him, but before he could voice his suspicions, Reiko interrupted.

"Finished already, Naruto-chan? We had better get back to headquarters. It irritates Itachi-kun when I leave him hanging like that. And you need some new clothes. Those look a bit frayed." Naruto couldn't help but grip his orange jacket closer to himself. It was a bit of a sore point with him when people criticized what he wore. It wasn't like he had a lot of money to but new stuff when the old stuff got a bit worn. Even so, she was offering to get him new clothes. . .

Itachi and Kisame were still standing in the same place. Naruto checked the wall clock. They hadn't moved in over half an hour. Creepy.

"Itachi-kun, Kisame-kun, what are you two still doing here? Your pay is in your accounts, the job is over. You delivered Naruto-chan to me safely. If I need you for anything, I'll be sure to send for you, okay? Okay." Throughout her chatter, Reiko somehow got the two insanely powerful missing-nin through and out the door. She closed the huge double doors with a satisfied grin, and turned back to Naruto. "Now where were we?"

Outside, Kisame sighed wearily, and turned to Itachi. "Don't you just hate it when she does that?"

". . . yes."

"If only we could figure out how she manages to-"

"Kisame, some things are beyond the understanding of normal people. I've been studying her techniques for years, and still can't comprehend her strategy."

"But your Sharingan. . ."

". . ."

". . . oh. Um, you up for some lunch, Itachi-san?"

". . . pork dumplings."

"Hm. 'Ichida's Best' then."

"Alright."

-

If Naruto could figure out what genjutsu Reiko-sama used to convince him that going to the Cloud Country with two convicted killers was a good idea, he could become Hokage in a week flat.

Four days after first arriving in the small village north of Konoha, feeling warm, safe, and full for perhaps the first time in his life, Reiko had caught him off guard when she asked him if he minded going on a little trip to pick something up for her. Half-asleep, he hadn't thought twice about agreeing to help, if only to pay back a little of the debt he felt he owed her after she bought him new clothes, gave him a big enough allowance that he could buy all the ramen he could eat, and taught him a few meditation techniques that helped still the bad dreams he had been having lately.

To say the least, he had been rather unpleasantly surprised to find out that the little errand was in fact a journey that round trip would take two weeks, not counting the time he would have to spend in Kumo stealing what happened to be two summoning scrolls belonging to one of the most powerful daimyos in the Cloud Country, and Kisame and Itachi were coming with him. Or to be more precise, Kisame and Itachi were going, and he was tagging along because Reiko found it amusing. No one else could see the humor in it.

Itachi didn't even seem to notice he was there most of the time. Kisame was slightly more friendly, but only in comparison. Like how torture was nice in comparison to being choked to death.

Things had gotten strange when they arrived in Kumo. Kisame and Itachi didn't wear their cloaks and forehead protectors in the name of remaining inconspicuous, though Naruto wondered why they hadn't thought to do that while they were in Konoha. Or maybe they had wanted to be noticed there. Either way, this had created a bit of a conflict between Kisame and Naruto about a day before they arrived in the village where the daimyo resided.

"Brat, if you weren't completely thick-skulled, you would know that Kumo is the enemy of Konoha. They don't like Leaf-nins here. If you wear your hitai-ate headband, every shinobi within one hundred miles will be aiming for the shiny leaf on your forehead." Naruto gripped his forehead protector tightly in both hands. He glared at the Mist missing-nin.

"I worked years for this. Iruka-sensei gave it to me! I'm not going to give it up just because-" Kisame sighed in agitation.

"Brat, I'm not telling you to throw it away. Just hide it in your bag or something." Naruto blinked.

"Oh." Muttering something under his breath about 'shrimpy fox-tailed brats,' Kisame hefted his gigantic shark-skin sword over one shoulder and walked over to where Itachi was napping under a tree, having fallen asleep from boredom during all the arguing.

The daimyo hired ninja. Though there were more than a few jounin, this ordinarily wouldn't have been a problem except that Reiko-sama gave explicit orders that there was to be no indication that the Akatsuki were involved, which complicated things quite a bit, as Itachi and Kisame were quite well known, even this far out. Naruto wasn't. They had less than a month before the scrolls were to be formally presented to the Raikage and then they would be inaccessible short of a full-out war, so they had a month to get Naruto competent enough to sneak past jounin-level shinobi, steal from the daimyo's personal vault, and sneak back out again without being seen. As far as Naruto could tell, it was an impossible task. Good thing Itachi and Kisame knew how to do diversions, or even training for a month with almost no sleep on genjutsu he had previously thought way out of his league wouldn't have been enough.

Even with people you don't like, forced into adverse conditions for long periods of time will make you bond with the weirdest people. Maybe it was Stockholm Syndrome, but by the time it was over, going back to Konoha didn't sound like as good of an idea as it used to. And it was kind of oddly comforting to be thought of as so minor a threat that 'brat' became his new nickname, when he came from a village that regarded him as a terrible danger. Being underrated is as underestimated as being lonely. It was almost worth it to lose his hearing for a week. Naruto hadn't thought the bombs' explosions would be so loud. Well, that's what he got for not packing earplugs like Itachi had suggested.

-

"We're here." Naruto looked up, no longer immersed in the past.

"What, already?"

"No, yesterday. Gods, kid, your head has been in the clouds lately." It was a stupid pun, and Kisame hadn't even been aware of making it, but Naruto smiled anyway. He could see Konoha now, just a few miles away. Naruto knew he probably wouldn't have much to smile about for a while.

It was kind of funny, though more in a funny-ironic than a funny ha-ha sort of way. Technically, all Akatsuki members were allowed to refuse missions, but when Reiko-sama wanted something, she tended to get it. Hirayama Reiko possessed no ocular ninjutsu to speak of, but even Itachi had to be at the top of his game if he wanted to resist her manipulations. And she had planned the announcement of this mission carefully. All four of them had been somewhat tired from their last mission, and they all knew that unless they were fresh and pulling for a fight, arguing would be a waste of time, even though Reiko's scheming had done the impossible and moved Itachi to use his Sharingan in anger.

((One of these days, someone is going to find Reiko-sama's body in the bottom of ditch where one of us stuffed her to get her to shut up,)) thought Naruto, though didn't really believe it. Besides Reiko-sama, no one but Itachi could possibly hold an organization full of such powerful and independent shinobi together, and Itachi lacked the interest to command. So Reiko would live a while longer. Probably. Unless Kisame wasn't around next time Itachi lost his temper. Wouldn't that be a show to watch. Maybe he could sell tickets.

((Nah. Kisame would kill me.)) Of course, what Kisame didn't know wouldn't hurt him. . .


	5. Being Ignored in Favor of a Uchiha

Author's Notes: Thank you all. And to one reviewer, I got 'Red Moon' from a subbed version of Naruto, so it might be wrong, but I don't think it is. I've noticed a tendency of mine to post these stories twice. Versions 1 and 2, if you will. Usually just minor tweaks, but sometimes I wonder if it's a bad habit. I do proofread these though. I've learned from experience that even the best writers make stupid spelling mistakes when they're in a hurry, and I'm certainly no exception. I've realized that some people might want to know where this diverges from the anime. I'm not very sure. I suppose right after episode 84, like if Jiraiya had left Naruto alone again to go flirt with women and Itachi and Kisame nabbed the Leaf genin while he slept in his bed. Anyway, Naruto did fight Gaara, he did not learn Rasengan, and he never met Tsunade. Kakashi and Sasuke did get attacked by the Tsukiyomi (Underworld Moon), but obviously, Tsunade snapped them out of it.

This rather pleasing fantasy kept him occupied until they arrived at the enormous stone wall that was the barrier between Konoha Village and the rest of the world. Somehow it looked a lot more formidable, now that Naruto was on the outside, looking in. The guards seemed to have received a similar upgrade. They surveyed the Akatsuki members, expressions grim, and overall looked a lot more dangerous than Naruto remembered them to be. Naruto couldn't help but swallow as their gazes swept over him. Itachi, Kisame, and Gaara didn't seem nearly so affected. Itachi and Gaara, if anything, looked bored, and Kisame just pulled out that shark grin of his that he kept in storage whenever they weren't on missions. He had tried to teach it to Naruto once, but Naruto had always ended up looking demented rather than dangerous 'with some insanity mixed in for variety.' So he stuck with solemn, which worked well enough most of the time. It served its intended purpose. The Konoha jounin guards barely gave him a passing glance, instead concentrating on Gaara and Itachi. Finally, one spoke up.

"You are the Akatsuki representatives?" Itachi nodded.

"Very well. Come with us, please."

-

Naruto hadn't honestly expected the guards at the gate to recognize him. People in Konoha tended to know him by reputation, not on sight, and he had met very few of the jounin that regularly patrolled the borders. Inside the village was another matter. Every time someone met his eyes, Naruto flinched. And since everyone was looking at them, it could hardly be avoided.

Most of the gazes were hostile. Angry. There were a lot of low voices, whispering in the crowd. No one stared at them for long. Just furtive glances, as if they didn't want to be caught looking. And still no one recognized him. He kept expecting to see a familiar face, like the ramen shop owner, or the old lady who lived next door. But if they were among the other villagers, Naruto didn't see them.

There were some curious gazes who lingered upon him, perhaps wondering who he was, but as with the jounin guards, most of the focus was on Gaara and Itachi. Especially Itachi.

This was ridiculous. They had been walking through the village for a good twenty minutes. The head of the procession was almost to the Hokage's Tower. And he still hadn't seen anyone he knew.

Did he really know so few people? Naruto hadn't thought so, but on reflection his scope of acquaintances was rather narrow, since most people had tended to avoid him.

The mutterings were growing louder. The potential for violence thickened in the evening air, but before it reached its peak, they arrived. Naruto wondered if there was a restroom handy he could throw up in. His nerves were killing him.

Who was the Hokage? He really should know this. Hadn't he and Jiraiya been going somewhere to get the new one when Itachi and Kisame had finally gotten a hold of him? Had Jiraiya ever given him a name?

Naruto was honest enough with himself that he knew he might not be remembering it if Jiraiya had revealed the name to him, but he also knew the old pervert had an annoying habit of never telling anyone anything if he could possibly help it. Either way, it was no good to blame Jiraiya. It had been four years, and he should have learned the Hokage's name at some point along the way.

The Hokage's tower was looking bigger, too, even as they entered it, and left the angry mob behind. There was no sound as they walked through the halls. Shinobi always moved silently. To do otherwise was to die, and old habits didn't fade even in the relative sanctity of their home village. And of course the Akatsuki had no reason to relax.

When they entered the main hall, Naruto finally realized why he hadn't seen any familiar faces outside. Almost everyone he knew was here.

Some of the faces were almost unrecognizable. Time and battle had altered many, but there was Kiba, hair even more tousled than in his childhood, leaning against the left wall, a fully-grown Akamaru lying at his feet. Shikamaru, missing one arm and considerably taller, sat on one of the lower steps leading up to the Hokage's chair. He could sense Neji somewhere in the room, but the Hyuuga wasn't visible, most likely hidden behind one of the ANBU masks. The leaders of all the major clans were there. Aburame, Inuzuka, Hyuuga, but no Uchiha. No Sasuke. No Sakura, for that matter. As far as Naruto could tell, Jiraiya wasn't there either, though Kakashi stood partially concealed in the far-right corner of the room, eyes closed but chakra awareness swirling around him.

The Hokage was a woman. Naruto remembered being told that much by Jiraiya, but he was startled by how young she looked. Though he knew from Reiko-sama how deceptive appearances could be, this blonde, voluptuous woman didn't seem to be more than a few years out of her teens. Mid-twenties at most.

Naruto waited, as they walked down the path that led to where the Hokage presided over the hall. He waited, as the Hokage, who introduced herself as Tsunade, welcomed the Akatsuki delegation to Konoha. He waited, as Itachi thanked her for allowing them to come, in the same cold, polite voice he used for everything, be it asking for someone to pass the wasabi, or telling an enemy shinobi how, exactly, they were going to make him talk. Naruto waited. But there was nothing.

What was wrong with these people? They were shinobi, weren't they? Shinobi were supposed to notice things. Like him. Like how he was standing right there, in the front of the room, face uncovered, and they still paid no more attention to him than they did to, say, the wall. All eyes were turned towards Itachi. Naruto was really getting sick of being ignored in favor of Uchihas, though Itachi was less annoying about it than Sasuke had been.

Did he really look that different? Sure, his hair was longer, and he had grown some, and his pupils may have slitted a little from partially bonding with the Kyuubi (Reiko-sama told him that tended to happen when a demon's power was used enough), but he was still blonde, short, and had the facial markings that if anything, had grown more obvious over time.

So what if he was technically dead? From the accounts of the ANBU who had witnessed the Third Hokage's death, they had recognized the First and Second right off, and those two had kicked the bucket, what, twenty, thirty years ago? Was he so unimportant? Why was he getting upset about this? If he could get through the negotiations with no one recognizing him, he would get off scot free (1). Too bad Naruto had never been the luckiest of shinobi. He was usually happy to get through a day without running into something, and today the Gods of Fortune had decided it would be more fun for them if they screwed Naruto over.

As Tsunade moved on to her opening statement (inquiring as to the Akatsuki's intentions), there was a gasp in the audience. All eyes turned to the source of the sound, most of them accusing. Who was this incredibly rude person who interrupted the Hokage at a vital step in the negotiations? Naruto groaned. He hadn't taken into account Hyuuga Hinata.

Of all the people in Konoha, barring Jiraiya, who wasn't there, Hinata was the person who had the most reason to remember Naruto. While Jiraiya was plagued with continual guilt over his failure to protect his idiot apprentice, Naruto had promised Hinata a date, and then rescheduled when Jiraiya dragged him along on the quest to retrieve Tsunade. A result of forces outside of Naruto's control had left Hinata with a nice dress and dinner reservations but no one to eat the dinner with. (In the end, she had brought Kiba, and forever regretted it, as he had insisted on bringing Akamaru, who wasn't the most well-behaved of dogs. It didn't help that Kiba was also not the most well-mannered of humans.) Being stood up by Naruto, her crush, had made the fox-possessed genin a permanent fixture in Hinata's mind. Hinata hardly blamed Naruto for not showing up, but his subsequent 'death' after she had finally maneuvered her way into Naruto's affections enough that he asked her out, gave her a feeling of perpetual guilt almost as strong as Jiraiya's, as she believed fate had killed her true love so they would never be together. And Hinata wasn't nearly as good as the sennin at shaking such things off.

Regardless of Hinata's near obsession with the memory of Naruto, it had taken the Hyuuga heir a few minutes to recognize her former crush, mostly because she had in her head a very clear picture of what Naruto looked like, and he no longer matched it. It was the eyes, still that lake-clear blue she had found so beautiful, that finally juxtaposed her childhood fantasy over the imposing ninja that stood before her.

She almost spoke up. Almost. The glares of the crowd stilled the words before they managed to form in her mouth. Despite her attempts to self-actualize over the years, Hinata still wasn't what you would call self-assured. Expectations, large amounts of people, big challenges, all of these made her panic and freeze up as surely as any ice jutsu. The glares quieted her. And so she said nothing. But she was a Hyuuga, so as most of the eyes turned back to the Hokage when Tsunade continued her speech, Hinata's eyes stayed on Naruto, who similarly was still staring at her. And the Hyuuga Clan were the masters of an even more precise form of ocular ninjutsu than the fame Uchihas. Hinata's eyes said what her tongue could not.

-_Naruto-kun, after this is over, we are going to have a talk. You have a lot of explaining to do.-_

Hinata's eyes always were the most expressive part of her. That was the way of the Hyuuga Clan.

(1) For those of you in the audience that are wondering why Naruto doesn't just use a genjutsu if he wants to avoid the hassle of people finding out he's alive, Naruto would like to inform you that he isn't very good at genjutsu and would probably not do a good enough job to fool someone as powerful as Kakashi or the Hokage.


	6. Crawling Through Vents

Author's Note: To respond to some reviews, no, Sasuke did not go off to join Orochimaru. He just did the sensible thing and didn't go to the meeting because he didn't think he could keep himself from attacking Itachi, orders or no. Sakura isn't there because only those jounin and above were allowed to go and she is only a chuunin. Hinata isn't a jounin, but she is the heir to the Hyuuga Clan, so gets special dispensation. Jiraiya is so eccentric that he just didn't bother showing up. And Naruto is called 'brat,' by Kisame because he's short, young, and Kisame likes to get a rise out of him once in a while. Notice that most of the time Kisame just calls him 'kid,' which is somewhat more affectionate. And all Hinata meant by 'explaining,' is Naruto disappearing for four years and not telling anyone he was alive. There is no sexual innuendo. And I didn't think I was Sasuke bashing. I don't like him much as a character, but keep in mind the criticism of him came from Naruto, who was morose and drunk at the time.

Fate, who in some way had to be related to the Gods of Fortune, didn't seem to like Naruto much more than they did. The rest of the meeting took less than half an hour, as it was getting late and both parties (Itachi and Tsunade, in this case) thought it would be a better idea to continue the proceedings in the morning.

Naruto couldn't help but be perversely glad that a complement of ANBU guided him and Gaara to the room they were being leant for the duration of the negotiations. With guards outside, there was no way Hinata could get to him. And he could hardly seek her out, seeing as leaving the room would probably be a violation of the current temporary truce.

They were told that a hot springs was available if they wanted to use it. Naruto, who quite frankly wanted nothing more than to collapse on the bed and sleep for a few days, was about to refuse when Gaara preempted him and accepted the offer. Naruto stared askance at his partner. Gaara _never _talked if he could avoid it. As Gaara followed the ANBU, he wordlessly pressed a slip of paper into the blonde shinobi's hand.

"_Hot springs._" Oh. Huh.

-

Itachi and Kisame were already there when they arrived. Both looked far too relaxed than the situation called for. Itachi seemed to be half asleep, submerged in the water up to his chin, and Kisame was humming tunelessly as he read a scroll by the side of the pool. Naruto called out a greeting as he and Gaara approached, but only Kisame bothered to look up. Naruto and Gaara settled into the water, Naruto with a content sigh. He had forgotten how nice the hot springs felt. . . he hadn't been in one for years.

"So, why'd you ask us to come here?" Kisame held up the scroll in one hand.

"Reiko-sama sent us a message." Naruto glanced at the door that led to the changing room. Kisame snorted.

"Kid, if you'd put that training we gave you to work once in a while, maybe you'd notice we already have the area sealed. No one's going to hear us. Just make sure not to move your lips too much."

The former mist-nin tossed to scroll to Naruto. Opening the scroll, Naruto suddenly wished he hadn't slept through those tutoring sessions Reiko had put him through on code. "Ummm. . ."

Kisame's sigh was an eerie mirror of Iruka's, which sent an unexpected wave of nostalgia through the fox-possessed shinobi, and a longing for his former sensei. Iruka, the first person to be kind to him, the first to see him as something other than a vessel for a demon. Naruto realized with a pang that he didn't even know if Iruka was still alive. He hadn't seen the chuunin at the meeting.

He was abruptly snapped out of his musings when something hit him on the side of the head with bruising force. Naruto watched, half stunned by the blow, as the bar of soap landed a few feet away and sank to the bottom of the pool. Kisame glared at him.

"Brat, ever since we left headquarters your eyes have been glazed over. Has Tsukioki been selling you sedatives again?" Naruto's eyes widened. Kisame _hated _Tsukioki, and had practically killed Naruto when he had found out who the former Leaf-nin had been going to for his occasional bouts of insomnia.

"No!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Why did we have to come here?" Another sigh.

"Brat, did you sleep through that meeting too?"

"I know _why _we're here. I just don't know why _we're _here."

"Does it really matter? And how should I know, anyway? Only insanely Machiavellian people even know what Reiko-sama talking about half the time, much less what she's thinking. Anyway, Reiko-sama's message just tells us the specifics of what we're trying to get out of this. Cease of hostilities, fair trade agreements, that sort of thing. Nothing you need to worry about."

"Then why did you. . ." Itachi spoke without opening his eyes.

"Go talk to the Hyuuga."

"You. . . you noticed?"

"It will be much worse for the Akatsuki if you avoid her and she decides to tell someone. If she becomes angry with you, she could prejudice the Leaf council against us." Talking to Hinata was the last thing Naruto wanted to do.

"Itachi, how am I supposed to find her? We're surrounded by guards. . ."

"Brat, you're a ninja. Figure it out."

-

One Kage Bunshin and some creative use of genjutsu got him out of the pool house without the ANBU noticing, but sneaking through the vents had negated all the cleanliness of the hot springs. It had taken him three false turns to find his room and change into some clothes.

Finding Hinata was going to be impossible. The village was huge, he was supposed to be in the spring, and going to her family's estate would be suicide. Naruto was wondering how he was going to explain all this to Itachi's satisfaction when he opened the door and almost ran into Hinata. They stared at each other for several moments. It was Naruto who broke the stalemate.

"Erm. . . hi."

"Hello." Her voice was quiet.

"So. . . you wanted to talk?" She nodded, and gestured for him to follow her. They walked silently through back corridors, meeting no one, and stopped at a balcony facing away from Konoha Village, towards the forest. The moon was out. It was undeniably beautiful. Naruto's heart twinged. He had missed the woods. The Akatsuki headquarters were stationed in a port town, mountains on two sides, desert to the south.

"Why did you leave us, Naruto-kun?" Kisame was right. If the very sound of Hinata's voice made him jump, he had been too distracted lately.

"Hinata-chan, I didn't exactly have a choice. Kisame and Itachi kidnapped me, and Kisame's Samehada prevented me from using any jutsu, so. . ."

"Then why did you stay away?" Geez, Hinata was sure into the difficult questions tonight.

"I. . ." Gods, the forest was amazing. So green.

"I guess. . ." But it hid a lot of things. Covered a lot. Nothing was out in the open, which made Naruto feel even more exposed. Like people could see things he couldn't.

"I was tired, Hinata-chan."

"You don't like hiding, Naruto-kun." Her eyes closed.

"I can understand that. I've been trying for a long time, to become something I'm not. And it was hard for you, especially. You didn't know why you were supposed to keep hidden, away from the eyes of other people. So you hid everything. And they still hated you. I didn't know why." Now she met Naruto's eyes. The lack of pupils was a distinguishing trait of the Hyuuga line. It made them hard to read. Hinata had always tried to get around this by using facial expressions as much as possible, but still, you could never really tell what she was thinking.

"Naruto-kun, do you hide now?" Naruto blinked, and thought about it. Tried to remember a time in the past four years when he hidden how he truly felt. And couldn't.

At the beginning, this was more of a case of not caring what anyone thought enough to bother acting all cheerful most of the time. Later, it was because Itachi would tell Naruto that he wasn't very good at pretending to be happy, and the false smiles were starting to annoy him. So he stopped, and was surprised when no one treated him differently. At least no one that mattered.

Naruto had actually had more close friends in Konoha than he had in the Akatsuki, and even then, members of the Red Moon tended to be so good at disguising what they were thinking that friendships were sort of tenuous. Naruto was sort of sure that Reiko-sama liked him. And he knew from the volume Kisame tended to yell at him with when Naruto did something abysmally stupid that the former mist-nin at least cared enough that he didn't want Naruto to die. Itachi was an emotional black hole. And Gaara. . .

Partnerships in the Akatsuki were odd, to say the least. In Konoha, you were expected to become close with your teammates, if only to increase efficiency on missions, but the Akatsuki took it to a whole other level. It had been an observation of Naruto's (one that took him a few years; he wasn't the fastest ninja on the uptake) that partners who had been together for a while never spoke to each other. Itachi and Kisame, for example, Naruto had never seen say anything to each other outside of combat situations. At first, he thought this was because Itachi was just incredibly antisocial, but then Naruto noticed that both of them moved like they _were _talking. Kisame would get up and get something, then hand it to Itachi, all in silence. Itachi would wordlessly hand Kisame condiments while they were eating. It was like they were psychically linked. This feeling was intensified when they would exchange looks, and whole conversations seemed to pass between them. And it wasn't limited to them. Naruto had known Akatsuki who committed suicide after their partner died in battle. Naruto wasn't there yet with Gaara, but he had begun to read the smallest changes in Gaara's expressions, could tell by a shift of the eyes whether Gaara was angry, or as close as he ever got to happy. And they didn't talk as much as they used to, or at least Naruto didn't. Gaara hadn't spoken much to begin with.

Naruto was reasonably sure that he wouldn't kill himself if someone had an amazing stroke of luck and managed to get through all of Gaara's defenses, but he remembered one mission when he and Gaara had been separated. It had felt like he was missing a limb, and even with the Kyuubi-enhanced senses, he couldn't help but feel half-blind. Naruto had incurred more than one injury on that assignment. He had forgotten how to watch his back. He had forgotten how to work alone.

He had forgotten what it was like to be alone. He was accepted in the Akatsuki. People said hello to him in the hall. He got invited to games of shogi and parties. He even dated once in a while. He was still a freak, but out for everyone to see. A freak among other freaks. He wasn't strange in the Red Moon. Considering the sheer talent most of the members possessed, very few of them were entirely human. He was no longer a stranger to himself, and he felt comfortable showing that to others. Even if outsiders tended to regard him with fear, he was treated as normal among his comrades. Nothing special, even if he did have Reiko-sama's favor. Naruto prized that beyond anything.

"No." Hinata smiled, but her eyes were still blank.

"If you're happy there, Naruto-kun, then it would be selfish of me to try and make you come back." She turned around, and left. Naruto didn't hear her last words.

"Just stay happy, okay? Don't fake it anymore." If Hinata wanted to be heard once in a while, she really should speak up.

Naruto watched the moon bathe the trees in an unearthly light for a while, then abruptly remembered he wasn't really supposed to be there. Using the vents really was a pain in the ass. Didn't anyone ever clean those things?

It was a wise move though, considering that the ANBU guards were again at the door, and Gaara was back inside their room. The doppelganger was with him, though it dissipated as soon as Naruto dropped into its view.

"Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?"

-

Back on the balcony, the shadows shifted, and grew. The darkness had eyes, and abruptly a body, as Shikamaru stepped out of the gloom.

"Feh." He hated being right all the time. Once in a while, it would be nice to be wrong. Like about this.

Sometimes he wondered about people. Naruto looked barely different at all, yet his own sensei didn't recognize him. And he was Akatsuki. Considering how powerful Naruto was, that might be a problem. Or not, seeing as Naruto's abilities were overshadowed by his sheer thoughtlessness and occasional idiocy. Dangerous to his enemies Naruto may be, but from what he had heard, Naruto wasn't a danger to _them_. Shikamaru wondered if it would be worth the bother to tell the Hokage about this.

((Nah. Too troublesome.))


	7. Letting Other People Have Their Say

Author's Note: . . . I know shit nothing about Japanese weddings. Don't give me grief.

"You're late." Having done this for several years, much of what they did had become habitual. Kakashi would wander in an hour or so after their meeting was scheduled, Tsunade would scold him, Kakashi would shrug, Tsunade would glare for several minutes, sigh, and accept (again) that as with many things concerning Kakashi, criticism didn't affect the copy ninja at all.

After several moments, in which Kakashi got himself situated on the couch Tsunade usually slept on when exhaustion made going back to her room implausible, in a position that made him resemble nothing more than a very spoiled cat, they got started.

"So?" Kakashi shrugged. Tsunade rubbed her temples. Of all her subordinates, Kakashi gave her the most tension headaches. She could feel a migraine coming on. "I require a little more than that. What did you think of them?"

"I didn't think anything." At that, Tsunade's already tenuous hold on her temper frayed, and snapped. She remembered herself enough to hold back a little of her power. As skilled as Kakashi was, he was not one of the few who could survive one of her punches when she was really worked up. Still, slamming him against the wall hard enough to crack the plaster, making the usually unflappable Leaf-nin's eyes widen, gave Tsunade no small feeling of satisfaction. But it didn't do much to dilute the rage. True anger, which most of the shinobi of Konoha had never seen (with the notable exception of Jiraiya), made her tone cold, her wording exact.

"You skipped out on the meeting." It wasn't a question. Kakashi, eyes still slightly dilated from the fear all shinobi experienced when unable to move, hands pinned above his head in a way that made forming seals impossible, nodded. Tsunade hissed through her teeth. She really should have noticed that Kakashi had used a doppelganger, but of all the meetings for him to play hooky for, she hadn't expected him to be foolish enough to miss this one.

"_Why weren't you there?_" It took all the self-control she possessed not to add 'you stupid brat.'

There was still some pleasure in seeing Kakashi swallow a few times before he gained enough confidence to speak. "I was following Sasuke." Her balloon of anger deflated. She set Kakashi down.

"And?" Kakashi averted his eyes. Tsunade focused in on the copy ninja. The Uchiha heir had to have done something bad for Kakashi to be so. . .

"He was brooding in a tree." . . . embarrassed? Kakashi didn't _get_ embarrassed. He read pornography, for gods' sake!

Still, it was pretty funny. When not training, Sasuke did very little but brood. Tsunade would have called it sulking, but the young prodigy had no sense of humor to speak of, and he would not find any humor in it. He also wrote the occasional depressing soliloquy, but no one but Tsunade knew about that. Tsunade wouldn't have known about them either, except for the fact she had no computations about breaking and entering into the home of someone who more than once had displayed suicidal tendencies. They were actually rather good, in an Edgar Allen Poe sort of way, but Tsunade didn't think it was entirely healthy to write poems almost exclusively about pain and loneliness and death. She would have recommended counseling, but sessions with the angry young man were bound to be disturbing, and she didn't think any of the healers were well trained enough to handle it. Tsunade herself didn't have the time.

"That's it?"

"Pretty much."

"I worry about that kid. He doesn't date, he doesn't socialize, he doesn't even talk outside of mission briefings." Tsunade looked at the copy ninja. "Come to think of it, you don't do much of that either. When was the last time you went somewhere?"

"Last year." Ah, yes. Gai's wedding. To Anko, of all people. When the two had first started dating, Tsunade hadn't thought they'd last a week, but their shared insane zest for life and powerful personalities kept them together. Having compatible fighting styles had cinched it. Kakashi had been best man. It might have been Lee, but the young taijutsu expert had wanted to walk down the aisle with Sakura, who had been one of the bridesmaids, so he had become a groomsman instead. The jounin were still ridiculously happy together. Everyone dreaded the day the two of them decided to have kids.

"Okay, when was the last time you went out with someone?"

"About a year and a half." That would be about the time he had broken up with Iruka. If Anko and Gai were weird together, Kakashi and Iruka were just _wrong._ They had nothing in common at all. Iruka was a teacher, Kakashi a jounin. They didn't like the same things, and they didn't even know the same people. The only reason they had stayed together so long was because of their shared memories of that fox kid, Naruto. Kakashi hadn't seemed that broken up about it when the two of them had split, but the copy ninja hid his emotions so well that Tsunade wasn't sure her assessment of his emotional state had been accurate.

"That long. What, are you still heartsick?" Kakashi shook his head.

"There just isn't anyone I care enough about to bother with." That pretty much summed up Kakashi. Most of the people he loved were dead. Since he had parted ways with Iruka, the only people the jounin went out of his way for anymore were Sasuke and Sakura, his former students, and Gai, who, for all Kakashi never said it, was his best friend, despite their stupid rivalry that not even Gai took seriously anymore. Oh. Some things were starting to make sense.

"You know, I always wondered why you dated Iruka to begin with, seeing as he's six years younger than you, cute, and not your type at all."

"Hokage-sama, shouldn't we be discussing. . ."

"It really confused me, you know. I never remembered you going for a pretty face. But I thought that perhaps you two had found something to talk about. I never even considered that Copy Ninja Kakashi would be petty." Tsunade regretted the words the moment they came out of her mouth, seeing the pain in Kakashi's visible eye.

"It wasn't pettiness. I just. . . at the time, I needed someone like him." Kakashi had started dating Iruka just days after Anko and Gai began to get serious. Tsunade had never thought about it, but she had seen the signs before. Nothing sucked worse than falling in love with your best friend. Especially when said friend was as straight as a ruler, and had absolutely no idea of your feelings. Sometimes Tsunade felt that Konoha would have been spared a lot of grief if Orochimaru hadn't been so taciturn as an adolescent and Jiraiya was gay. She yanked herself back to the present. Hindsight wouldn't help here. And all Tsunade was doing was making things worse, bringing up old memories best forgotten.

"Perhaps you're right. This really is none of my business." Kakashi didn't answer as he walked back to the couch. But he took the chance to change the subject.

"So, how did it go?" How did what go? What had they been talking about again? Oh yes, the Akatsuki representatives.

"As expected, Itachi led the delegation. His partner and Gaara were with him. It was the last one who confused the hell out of me. A short blond kid with slitted blue eyes and fangs. He felt about as strong as a genin, which makes no sense, since he is partnered with Gaara of the Desert, and considering the Akatsuki accept no one below jounin level. Which means he's strong enough to hide his power from me."

"Did he say anything?"

"Not a word. Serious little guy."

"Could you read them?"

"No, not a one. All of them are well trained. They easily mask their emotions. Which is exactly why I need you at those things." ((Even if Itachi still terrifies you.))

Kakashi gave no excuses. Tsunade hadn't expected any.

"Will you be with me tomorrow?" A nod. Then Kakashi was gone.

Tsunade sat down heavily at her desk, and put her face in her hands. She was the leader of a dying nation. The only other person besides herself who truly understood what was riding on this alliance was in a forest somewhere writing pornographic novels. This was exactly why she hadn't wanted to be Hokage to begin with.

Of course, if she hadn't taken it, Jiraiya would have gotten the job.

Suppressing a shudder, the sannin went back to her paperwork. Didn't the damn pile ever get any smaller?

-

"Orochimaru-sama?" Though his former leader (and now lover) could hide very little from him anymore, the sannin still had masks that were all but impenetrable.

"What are you planning, Reiko?" Said former stone-nin in question just smiled.

"If you really wanted to know that, Orochi-kun," Okay, that was an expression Kabuto recognized. Orochimaru _hated _Reiko-sama's nickname for him, "You would take my offer and rejoin the Akatsuki as a council member."

"I value my independence, Reiko. I'm hardly going to give it up because of some curiosity." Reiko just smirked. Kabuto shivered. Ever since he had joined the Akatsuki three years ago, Reiko for whatever reason had found the relationship between himself and Orochimaru (for lack of a better word) cute. This was in several ways a good thing, for though Orochimaru was ostensibly allowed back in Akatsuki territory because he was a former member, Kabuto knew it was actually because of Reiko-sama's influence. However, this was less because she thought lovers shouldn't be apart and more because she was angling for a threesome. She never did anything to pressure _him_ at least, and it wasn't like she stalked them, but Kabuto was still slightly uncomfortable with the innuendo that resulted from Reiko-sama seeing them together, even if they were doing nothing more damning than eating sushi.

Though Orochimaru had his kinks, sleeping with a woman wasn't one of them, but he was careful to be polite on their encounters with the Akatsuki commander. Except now, when urgency overcame any attempts at self-preservation.

"Orochi-kun, if it was just curiosity, you wouldn't be asking me."

"Reiko, the Akatsuki and the Sound have an alliance. Now you are attempting to ally with the Leaf, who are the enemy of the Sound. I believe I have a right to know if you are trying to betray me."

"Orochi-kun, you haven't attacked the Leaf in almost two years. In fact, you haven't attacked _anyone_ in over a year. If I didn't know better, Orochi-kun, I would think you were trying to make the Sound legitimate.

"Either way, one of the conditions of the alliance with the Leaf is we are not going to help them against the Sound. You shouldn't worry so much. You might get frown lines." At that, the Sound-nin's scowl deepened.

"Reiko, why do you seek an alliance with Konoha? Sending the fox kid, at that. It makes me wonder if you're trying to form a treaty at all, or you have some. . . ulterior motives."

"That is for me to know and you to try and find out, Orochi-kun."

Just walking out on the leader of the most powerful shinobi organization in the world probably wasn't the best idea, but Kabuto was relieved to see that Reiko-sama's indulgent look hadn't changed. He bowed quickly to his leader before accompanying his lover.

"Orochimaru-sama. . ."

"Do you call him that in bed, too?"

You would think after three years he would stop blushing. Reiko's laugh followed them out the door.

-

Even though it had been some time since Orochimaru had found a healer skilled enough to remove the seals from his arms, the sannin still gained an unusual amount of pleasure in forming chakra seals. Kabuto wasn't sure it was because of this or just the thrill of the fight that lit the Sound leader's face as his ninjutsu transformed the area into something that very much resembled the throat of a very large snake.

At Kabuto's inquiring look, Orochimaru grinned. "My own variation on Jiraiya's underworld technique."

"I take it if this was a real battle, I'd be dead right about now."

"Yes." The ninjutsu faded. In his usual abrupt fashion, Orochimaru changed the subject.

"Do you know what Reiko's planning?" Kabuto shook his head.

"I may be one of the lead medics, but I don't think she's even told most of the Council what this is about."

"Mm." One of the things Kabuto could count on about his lover was Orochimaru's frustration when his knowledge was lacking.

"Itachi-san and Kisame-san were the only ones given her orders. Reiko-sama is very secretive."

"I am growing increasingly frustrated with that woman."

"Well, we could always sleep with her and get the information that way." The startled look Orochimaru gave him was priceless, though it quickly gave way to an amused smirk.

"I'm always willing to try something once, Kabuto-kun." Kabuto smirked back. Sometimes he wondered what his life would have been like if he had been a Konoha shinobi in fact as well as name. The answer he had finally reached was rather dull. No one in Konoha had ever been smart enough to hold his attention for more than five minutes. Though his life now was rather complicated, it was never boring.

And it was looking like it was going to get much more exciting soon. Kabuto wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Whenever Reiko-sama planned anything, the results were rather. . . unexpected. And if Orochimaru hated being left in the dark, Kabuto hated being unprepared.

And he couldn't prepare for this. Damn it.


	8. Speaking Silently While Voices Rise

Author's Note: For those who don't like slash much, this chapter doesn't have any. This isn't really a slash fic. There are homosexual relationships, but this story isn't focused on them. This isn't one of those stories where everyone is gay and one wonders how the next generation ever comes about. I love slash, don't get me wrong, but there a lot of straight relationships I love in anime as well. For instance, I am most definitely a SakuLee shipper. The idea of Anko and Gai never really occurred to me until I read a fic about Shikamaru, and the couple received a mention. Since I can see them together, and writing Kakashi/Gai is currently beyond my abilities (Kakashi is _hard _to write,) I decided Gai should be married to Anko, since they actually seem like they might work. I can definitely see Gai as someone who would make a great father, which I can't do for almost all of the other adults in Naruto. I do appreciate all the reviews. As fun as this is to write, feedback really makes it all worth it. And I also apologize that this took longer than usual. I had the time to write it, I just couldn't find any inspiration and couldn't bring myself to post anything crappy. Originally this chapter was going to have a fight scene (albeit one in flashback form), but I ran out of room for it in this chapter. It'll be in the next one.

Naruto woke up to a glass of water thrown in his face. He opened his eyes to see Itachi, Kisame, and Gaara, all fully dressed and looking slightly impatient. Kisame was holding the now empty glass. No surprise there. It wasn't like Gaara or Itachi would lower themselves to actually using something so mundane as a sink.

"You slept through your alarm again. Be dressed in five minutes or we're leaving without you." With that, Kisame and Itachi turned around and left the room. Gaara wordlessly handed Naruto his uniform and a toothbrush. Naruto swore. He'd gotten to sleep only a few hours ago. Nightmares. Again.

Reiko-sama had warned him about the overflow. Naruto had long since gotten up wards around the Kyuubi's presence. He couldn't even hear the fox most of the time. When he could, it was because he had let his guard down, like when he had gotten drunk a few nights ago. Then, the Kyuubi had been as out of it as he was. But last night. . . exhaustion and frustration had cracked the shields. And the Kyuubi was occasionally malicious. Mostly just bad dreams. Still, it left Naruto in a bad mood, which wasn't improving as he threw on his clothes as fast as possible.

Still, he wasn't angry enough to forget his bag. Considering what was in it, leaving the thing in his room would doubtlessly make Itachi very, very. . . displeased.

-

The ANBU escort was starting to get really annoying. Not that they ever said anything, but Naruto knew they listened to whatever the Akatsuki said, so talking was kind of limited. And they were walking way too close to them. He'd bumped into the one with the panda mask twice. Finally, Naruto got sick of it, and growled, "If you don't keep at least a ten foot distance from me at all times, you'll find kunai stuck where it doesn't belong." They stared at him.

"MOVE." They moved. As the group progressed, Naruto felt a light tap on his shoulder. He looked to the side to see Kisame sign,

**_Red eyes._**

Oh. No wonder they got out of his way so fast. Well, that's what happened when he was sleep-deprived. The Kyuubi had a habit of leaking out in little ways.

Finally, after what seemed like an unusually long time, they arrived at a place that was definitely not the meeting hall. But Naruto recognized it regardless, even if the place had been redecorated. The Hokage's office. He had been there often enough as a child, mostly getting scolded by Sandaime after some particularly malicious prank.

The welcoming party was much more limited this time. The female Hokage, one or two council members Naruto didn't know by name but remembered their faces and voices, the looks they had given him and the words spoken quietly, beyond the abilities of normal humans to hear. But Naruto wasn't normal. Even then, he had known there were those who thought Konoha would be better off with him dead. The old woman on the left was one of them.

There were several others, most of whom Naruto didn't recognize, though the scarred examiner from the Chuunin Exams was there, seemingly for security, as he stood unobtrusively in a corner and surveyed the room with a hawk's wary eyes. The shinobi to the immediate right of the Hokage's chair was definitely a familiar face. Hatake Kakashi.

The first look the silver-haired jounin gave him was uninterested. The second was incredulous.

"Impossible. . ." The Hokage, who had already started in on her welcoming speech, trailed off, and glanced at her retainer.

"Do you have something to add, Kakashi?" The jounin didn't appear to notice anyone had spoken. He continued to stare at Naruto, who shifted uncomfortably. Kakashi had been at the meeting last night. Why hadn't he recognized Naruto then? Unless. . .

The silent tapping on the inside of his wrist confirmed his suspicions, as Gaara signed,

_:Bunshin:_

"Naruto?" More than one person in the room recognized that name. The councilors' eyes widened. The Chuunin examiner raised one eyebrow. And Naruto, not seeing any easy way to refute his identity, rubbed the back of his head sheepishly in a way that would be all too familiar to his former sensei.

"Eh heh. . ." There was a moment of absolute silence. That was all it took for everyone to process what had just happened and what it meant. Then the whispering started.

"Unbelievable. . ."

"Killed. . ."

"Four years. . .

"Akatsuki. . ."

"Traitor. . ." That last set Naruto's teeth on edge, but the hand on his shoulder stopped him before he had even thought of appropriate retaliation. He turned around, expecting to see Kisame, but instead came face to face with Kakashi. Neither of them said anything. What could be said? Naruto was hard pressed to come up with a reason for his actions that Kakashi would accept, and Kakashi, though he had often thought of what he would say if he was given the chance to speak once more to one of his dead comrades, had never even considered what he would say to one that was unexpectedly alive. They stood facing each other in uneasy silence as the level of sound in the room rose several decibels, Kisame looking on in amusement, Itachi stoic as usual, and Gaara's eyes growing more and more wild as claustrophobia set in. Naruto was most worried about that last. Gaara hated being in crowds, hated small rooms, and hated noise, and this situation had all three. Then the Hokage cleared her throat. No one paid attention. She cleared it again. Nothing.

"QUIET!" All voices ceased. The Hokage's face smoothed out. She smiled, but there was an edge to her grin that alerted the room to the fact that disobeying the Hokage at this point was something of a death wish.

"Thank you. Now Kakashi, as you seem to have the best idea of what's going on, I will ask you to explain what is so important that we need to interrupt negotiations for it."

"Naruto is a former student of mine." Though Tsunade was no supreme genius, she could make deductions as easily as anyone. Kakashi, in the entirety of his illustrious career, had taken on a total of three students. One was the Uchiha boy, another the girl who had so caught Rock Lee's fancy. The last was Uzumaki Naruto, son of the Yondaime and vessel of the nine-tails. The kid also happened to be a former student of Jiraiya. She had heard he had died only a few weeks before she had accepted the position of Hokage, but obviously her information source was faulty. That would be the last time she would take a report from Jiraiya when he was half sloshed.

She really should have noticed it herself. Despite the slit pupils and facial markings, the young man was the spitting image of his father at the same age. The hair was shorter on the sides and longer in the back, but still, it was pretty damn obvious. It had just never occurred to her, and blond spiky hair, while uncommon, was hardly unheard of. She had attributed the resemblance to chance.

Of course, she had never met the boy. Others at the meeting last night had, and none of them had said anything. For a bunch of shinobi, they weren't very observant. Of course, they could have just kept their mouths shut. Neither option made her happy. Tsunade couldn't stand it when people kept information from her. She had inherited this pet peeve from Orochimaru, or perhaps they had both acquired it after a number of missions that went sour because the intelligence they received prior to the jobs was so inaccurate they would have been better off with no briefing at all. Either way, it pissed her off.

"So this is the Kyuubi brat? Kind of short, isn't he?" Instant bristling. For all she had heard about the child in demon form, it was kind of a let down. From what she could see, the boy appeared to be the average young teenager, short-tempered and far too sensitive. But the boy was Akatsuki. They didn't let just anyone in. And this kid was one of the elite. They were the only ones that got the bands engraved with one of the nine holy seals. And any one them could take Kakashi head on. . . and win.

This was all very good to know, but could she do anything with the information? Besides making sure not to underestimate the child, not really. Naruto may be missing-nin (odd he didn't wear the usual slashed hitai-ate headband that was one of the distinguishing characteristics of the Akatsuki), but he was here as a representative from a potential ally, so she didn't have any authority over him. If this treaty ever came through, she never would.

This could become a very bad situation, very quickly. Kakashi still appeared to be in shock, but besides him and Ibiki (no surprise there, the interrogator's pulse never varied more than a few points either way no matter the situation), no one in the room was taking the revelation at all calmly. So far, the Akatsuki hadn't moved, but Gaara's eyes were growing more psychotic by the second.

"Whatever, it doesn't really matter." Disbelieving looks. "As interesting as all of this is, we have more important things to discuss. Now then, I would like your reasons for wishing to ally with us, if you please."

"Our reasons aren't your concern." The Uchiha was quite the cold fish. His facial expression hadn't changed at all in the past five minutes.

"Yes, they are. Unless you give me some idea of what you want to get out of this, for all I know you just set this whole thing up so you could get into Konoha unopposed."

There was no response for almost thirty seconds. Then, with obvious reluctance: "We desire free trade with Konoha."

"What does the Leaf get out of this?" A bland look.

"Exchange of goods works both ways."

"Fine. We want access to your headquarters."

The answer was immediate: "Unadvisable." A moment of silence.

"This is the point in the negotiations that you offer me something in place of what I want." The problem with sending shinobi as diplomatic representatives was this: they weren't diplomats. Tsunade wasn't looking forward to walking Itachi through the process of argument.

"We are willing to allow you into the village."

"You have a village?"

"It is where we buy our supplies. Usually we kill any shinobi that enters the area without our authorization." Well, it was something, she supposed.

"Very well. In exchange, we will give permission for limited numbers of your members to. . ." The council members, already agitated, erupted at this concession.

"Hokage-sama, you cannot possibly allow. . ." Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. She may be the better negotiator, but it didn't look like the Uchiha's subordinates were going to give him any grief over his decisions. This might take a while.

-

As far as Naruto could tell, things appeared to be going well. Sure, the councilors were giving him some occasional dirty looks, but that wasn't any different than how they had acted when he lived in Konoha. The situation was a little uncomfortable with Kakashi still staring at him in abject shock, but all in all, for this being the moment Naruto had been dreading the entire trip, it was pretty anticlimactic. The female Hokage was seemingly unflappable. After getting everyone to shut up, she went right on with the negotiations like nothing had happened. So Naruto did what he had been trained to do in similar delicate situations; he stayed out of the way and tried to get Gaara to calm down. This was easier said than down. The guy was already hyperventilating. It had only been about an hour since his last meditation, but stress caused the calming effects of inner peace to wear off Gaara more quickly. The best method for soothing Shukaku was to distract Gaara.

_The bald guy looks like his mother cheated on his father with a goat. Has the facial hair for it too._

He couldn't distract Gaara out loud, of course. Code sign was diverse enough to that one could hold entire conversations, and could be visual or tactile. Luckily, that was one tutoring session Naruto hadn't slept through. It seemed to be working too. Gaara's breathing evened out.

_That old man to the left of us looks dead. I think he's just sleeping though. I can hear his snoring._

It was definitely working. Gaara was even smiling a little. Naruto, encouraged, continued.

_And that red-head in the back, hoh boy. . ._

_**Kid, Itachi has been signaling you for the past five minutes. Get your little act going before he becomes tempted to break one of your arms.**_

The problem was Kisame wasn't even joking. Itachi had actually broken three of Naruto's fingers one mission a few years ago when he had been careless enough to let an enemy shinobi through the gate he had been guarding. Best not to antagonize the ninja with limited impatience and swirly red eyes. Time to get this show on the road. Good thing he hadn't forgotten his pack. Then Itachi would _really _have killed him.


	9. Explaining a Past & Leaving Parts Out

Author's Note: To answer one reviewer's question, the Sound Five will make an appearance or two, though not in this chapter, and probably not for a couple. They have had only had one or two minor appearances in the subbed anime so far, though they are appearing in episode 108, so hopefully I will have something of a handle on the characters by the time they appear in this. However, they are not going to be main characters. You will find out why Kinimaro isn't dead eventually. This chapter actually focuses on some characters and ideas only introduced in the anime and not in the manga. I am happy that so far I have not received any negative reviews regarding having an OC as an almost-main character. The problem with writing stories about the Akatsuki is you aren't introduced to many of the members, so you have to make some up, but I managed to avoid writing a Mary-Sue, I think. By necessity, more OCs are now going to be introduced, though none of them are that important to the story. This chapter is pretty long, and it has now been revised.

Naruto hadn't realized how much stuff he carried around in his bag. His spare kunai and shurikan, a sleeping bag, rope, some instant ramen, an extra change of clothing, some washing detergent, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a book Reiko-sama had given him on customs in the Stone Country, some antidepressants from Tsukioki Naruto thought he had gotten rid of (he hastily shoved them back into his pack. Kisame had threatened him with bodily harm if he ever saw Naruto with drugs again), some tissues, a flashlight, glue, a towel, a CD player, six CDs, a pad of paper, two pens, a hacky-sack. . . by the time he had gotten to the pocky and was smelling it to see if it was still good, half the room was staring at him and the increasingly gigantic pile of mostly useless junk. Even the negotiations had trailed off as the lady Hokage gained some curiosity as to what the Kyuubi boy was looking for.

Kisame, who was more aware than anyone how much of a packrat Naruto was, just rolled his eyes. He had long since given up on figuring out how the kid managed to fit so much garbage into a single bag.

Finally, with a triumphant exclamation of victory, Naruto found it. Besides his hitai-ate headband (safely hidden with his weaponry in his waist pouch), it was his most valuable possession.

The room gasped, knocking Kakashi out of his stupor. More than one jaw dropped, and in the corner, Morino Ibiki's eyes widened.

"Hey, Lady Hokage, um. . ." He had practiced this speech, damn it! Why couldn't he remember what he was going to say?

The lady Hokage filled the silence with a stuttering, "It, it can't be. . ."

"What? You mean Raijin? It'd better be real. It was a real pain in the ass to get the thing, and I'd be really pissed off if I went to all that trouble for a fake."

((Really smooth, idiot.))

"Erm, anyway, here." It'd taken a lot of resolve to decide and give up the Lightning Blade, but considering everything, it was worth it if the gift would help bring about peace between the Akatsuki and Konoha. After one last look at the ornately carved hilt, he placed Raijin carefully on the Hokage's desk. She stared at it uncomprehendingly.

"It's for you. Well, I guess it's really for Konoha, since it belonged to the village before it was stolen."

"How did you come to possess Raijin?" The examiner was the last person Naruto had expected to talk at this thing.

"Huh?" The scarred shinobi's face tightened, and it was obvious how much effort he was putting into resisting the urge to shake the information he sought out of Naruto. The next words spoken sounded strained.

"Why do you have the sword."

"Well. . ."

-

About a year ago, a jounin from the Rain came to Kaizen Village. The port town was technically a part of the Cloud Country, but after the Akatsuki had laid claim to it, no one disputed their right to the place. The villagers hardly minded. Considering the dangers of marauders and pirates, having the headquarters of a shinobi organization so close was a blessing, especially since they didn't charge anything to kill anyone who bothered the villagers. The extra trade was welcome too, and since the shinobi only discouraged travelers that were also ninja, business hardly suffered. So both parties were happy with the arrangement.

The day the Rain jounin entered Kaizen, Naruto and Gaara had just gotten back from a rather difficult reconnaissance mission in Waterfall. They had managed to find out where the local shinobi had hidden the ceremonial armor (a cave protected by water spirits, how original), but spending so much time immersed past his chin in cold, glacier water (winter had just ended) had given Naruto a very bad cold.

Kabuto was the medic assigned to him. Normally such a skilled healer wouldn't have been necessary for something so minor. If it had been any other time, Naruto would have just spent a few days in bed, then a few weeks regaining his chakra levels before going on another assignment. But considering the beginning of the elite trials was in less than two weeks, Reiko-sama didn't want one of the prime candidates to be at anything but his best.

Even so, as Naruto sniffled miserably while Kabuto took his temperature, it would be a day or two before he was strong enough to begin training again. Speeding up the healing process too much would unnecessarily drain his chakra reserves and tax his body too much. At least that's what Kabuto had told him. Naruto had asked why it mattered when he had so much chakra, but the Kabuto's glare told him that though Naruto's stamina might be nigh unlimited, the medic's patience was not. So he suffered in silence as Kabuto made contemplative noises over the thermometer.

"Hmm. . ."

"What? What is it?"

"You appear to have a fever along with the cold, Naruto-kun. That will add another couple of days to your bed rest."

"What? I can't! The elite trials, if I'm not better by then, Sen and Michio will kick our asses!" Matsushita Sen and Iwamori Michio were Naruto and Gaara's prime rivals for the trials. Sen was only a few years older than Gaara and Naruto, though Michio was in his late twenties. They were from the Grass and Stone Villages, respectively, but for whatever reason, their personalities and skills had clicked so well that when they worked together, short of going full demon, Naruto and Gaara were hard pressed to beat them, even though individually they were more than a match for the former Stone and Grass-nin.

Actually, Naruto rather liked Sen and Michio. Sen reminded Naruto strongly of Hinata. Though Sen was undoubtedly a guy, he definitely had the shy, won't-look-you-in-the-eye thing going on, and Michio was a bigger, more competent, and better-natured version of Kiba, albeit without the dog. The two partnerships were hardly rivals, and wouldn't be competing at all if it weren't for the unexpected death of the elite Muraguchi Kado by ambush and the subsequent suicide of his partner, Fujiwara Ayame, immediately after she had handed Reiko-sama the heads of the hunter-nin who had killed Kado. Naruto had never met them, though he had bypassed the pair once while they were leaving Reiko-sama's office. Kado had looked the solemn type, but Ayame had been chattering to him nonstop nonetheless as they walked out the door, mostly about stupid stuff like the new dress she had bought when they were on their mission in Mist, though Kado never said a word. Naruto had wondered how they had ended up as partners, since they seemed to have so little in common.

By tradition, only nine elite were numbered among the Akatsuki. Since the organization's founding, one had left (Orochimaru), two had died after foolishly challenging Kisame and Itachi for the position of commanding elite team (Naruto hadn't known them. They had been killed only a few months after he had arrived in Kaizen), and now, another partnership had departed for the sparring grounds in the sky. Which left two positions open. Both Michio and Naruto wanted them, and Sen and Gaara were willing to go along with it, though Gaara had only acquiesced so Naruto would stop interrupting his meditation.

His cold was very badly timed. This wasn't a situation where he'd have another shot if he screwed up. If he didn't make elite, it'd be years before another partnership kicked the bucket and positions opened up again. And considering the average age of Akatsuki members was in the low thirties, no one was likely to retire any time soon. Naruto _needed_ to be at full strength for this. Not only for the extra pay, which was tempting enough in itself, but for the opportunity to listen in on Council meetings and get access to Reiko-sama's personal library, and all the other perks that came with the rings that engraved upon were the kanji of the gods.

Kabuto sighed, and pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose. "Don't be ridiculous, Naruto-kun. The fever is very minor. You'll be at full strength by the trials. Don't worry so much."

Then he left, after leaving Naruto with some nasty-smelling concoctions and instructions to take them every twelve hours. All of this left Naruto, who hated being sick, in a very bad mood, which wasn't improved when barely half an hour later he was called to the meeting-hall.

Shrugging into his uniform was a chore Naruto would normally do without, but the meeting-hall meant it was official. Repainting his nails was also a pain, but the polish had gotten chipped in Waterfall, and even though Naruto couldn't care less about the Akatsuki's reputation, he knew the aura of mystique and power was what got them so many jobs despite the fact they were technically a rogue faction. And it did make his nails look sharper, especially if he double-coated. Definitely a plus. With his tousled hair and lack of stature, Naruto needed all the intimidation points he could get.

Yanking his hair into a short horsetail as he hurried through the corridors of the headquarters, Naruto swore under his breath as he struggled with his hair-bands (they happened to be the same brand as Itachi's, mainly because the hair ornaments that particular company produced were unusually durable and elastic, though Naruto liked the black hair ties while Itachi for the most part used the dark red. They looked good set against the Sharingan user's midnight black mane, though Naruto rather thought he had chosen the color because they were the exact shade of drying blood and not for aesthetic reasons). A sudden sneeze distracted Naruto from his inner blather and sent him scrambling for the tissues. Had he mentioned that he hated being sick?

Upon arrival at the meeting-hall, he came upon a not completely unfamiliar scene. Reiko, with her usual enigmatic, benevolent smile, looked down upon a man in the middle of the room. One thing obvious right off was everything about the guy practically screamed arrogance. Stupid smirk, an umbrella (of all things) over one shoulder, weight leaned mostly to one side in a stance that would get him killed in a fight. . . he inexplicably reminded Naruto of Sasuke, though Sasuke's posture had never screamed "Queen!" like this guy's did. Even Orochimaru didn't stand like that.

The idiot's smirk grew as he turned to witness Naruto's entrance. His voice, while melodious, still managed to be annoying.

"It this one of your followers, Reiko-sama? I wasn't aware the Akatsuki hired children." Definitely an idiot. For one thing, no Akatsuki member would take kindly to being called a follower. Most left their villages because they didn't like to follow orders, which was why the Akatsuki command structure was rather more loose than the official shinobi villages. For another thing, Naruto was no younger than Itachi had been when the Uchiha renegade had joined the Akatsuki, and Itachi would have probably killed anyone so stupid as to call him a child. The same thing applied to Gaara, though with his partner Naruto wouldn't have bothered with the probably. Despite the insult, Reiko-sama's voice managed to remain pleasant.

"Naruto-kun (she had thankfully stopped with the –chan about a year ago) is an exemplary member of our organization. He is young, but his skills more than make up for his lack of experience." The idiot didn't respond, but his smirk remained. The guy was good-looking. Even in the half-darkness, Naruto could see the fineness of his features, the artful disarray of his wavy forest-green hair.

((The jackass probably uses gel.)) Naruto wasn't impressed. He had known Itachi, so gorgeous at first glance people thought him a woman, for years, and knew how easily a beautiful exterior could hide inner darkness. Or inner asininity.

"Naruto-kun, I would like you to meet Rokusho Aoi. He is a jounin from the Hidden Rain, and wishes to become a member of the Red Moon."

"Ksh. What's he got that makes him worthy to join us? From what I can see," and Naruto shot the Rain jounin a contemptuous look that would have done Sasuke proud, "I'm not impressed." This should have at least made the guy glare a little, but if anything his smirk grew even wider.

"Oh, don't worry Naruto-_kun_, I have something that makes me more than worthy to become a part of this esteemed association." Okay, _that _pissed Naruto off. In no way, shape, or form, had this guy earned the right to be so familiar with him. He was just _asking_ for a beat down.

Reiko-sama's tone, while mild, still managed to remain slightly intimidating. "Rokusho-san, I believe I will be the judge of how compatible you are with the Akatsuki. May I ask what you possess that so convinces you of your suitability?" Naruto thought the guy's face would split in half as his smirk turned to a full-out grin when he pulled an object, a little more than a foot long, out of his waist pouch. Naruto peered at it, confused.

"A carved stick? What do you think _that's_ going to do?" Reiko-sama wasn't nearly so scornful. A speculative expression adorned her countenance (and Naruto used all the big words he knew up in one sentence).

"Hm. Interesting. Rokusho-san, how did you come about the Raijin?" The what?

"I took it from Konoha. Hardly a challenge. Those fools didn't put up any resistance at all." Konoha?

"Stealing the sword of the Second Hokage is an impressive feat, Rokusho-san." Wait a second, Raijin was the Lightning Blade? _The _Lightning Blade? How in hell did this cretin get it?

"Very well, I will give you a two weeks' trial run. If you continue to impress me, I will commission you as an Akatsuki active." What the fuck!

-

Naruto had the dubious comfort of not being alone in his opinion of Rokusho Aoi. Itachi didn't like him because the jackass had the audacity to flirt with the Uchiha prodigy, and didn't know how to take a hint. Kisame didn't like him for the same reason, and the fact Aoi seemed to think himself above everyone else. Naruto knew for a fact that Kisame had a hit list for the people the former mist-nin found especially annoying, and he usually went out of his way to make those people as miserable as possible, with Naruto on occasion acting as backup. Aoi's name had been marked down less than a day after his arrival. Sen was scared of the guy because he practically stalked the former grass-nin, even molesting him whenever Sen was alone. Michio swore he would kill Aoi if he ever caught the rain-nin in the act, but Aoi was careful to only bother Sen when Michio was otherwise engaged. Gaara's eyes narrowed at the sight of the man, and Kabuto fidgeted with his glasses whenever Aoi was mentioned, though Naruto wasn't worried about him, seeing as Orochimaru would torture to death anyone who even thought about touching Kabuto, Reiko-sama or no Reiko-sama. Even Tsukioki Yukio, the pharmaceutical specialist who wasn't adverse to selling recreational drugs on the side, and who normally didn't care about a guy's personality as long as he had a nice body and a pretty face, thought Aoi was 'distasteful.'

The guy would have gotten the crap beaten out of him sooner or later, except for Reiko-sama's edict that he was not to be harmed, hurt, or otherwise found strung up in a tree, for fear of. . . a lecture. Which mostly consisted of Reiko-sama pounding you into unconsciousness for the better part of an hour. While Itachi hardly lived in fear of this, Aoi at least had the sense to stay mostly off of the genius's radar.

Naruto would have been happy as the next ninja to teach the guy a lesson, but recovery from his cold and the subsequent training for the elite trials with Gaara took up every spare moment of free time he had. By the time the trials rolled around, however, it proved to be well worth it, with Gaara and Naruto defeating Sen and Michio with something that wasn't ease, but certainly wasn't their all out best. It helped that Sen was so rattled from his encounters with Aoi that his concentration was much worse than usual, which broke the uncanny rhythm between himself and Michio that usually made them so deadly. Naruto felt slightly guilty for taking advantage of this weakness, but if he could get over his cold, Sen should get over his personal problems when in the middle of a fight.

So it was a triumphant Naruto, bruised and bleeding but high on victory, that trumped into the headquarters' meeting-hall with a grin on his face and the giddy anticipation of a kid on Christmas morning. Then he found coal in his stocking. Aoi was standing in the meeting-hall, in the same place Naruto had first seen him two weeks ago. And next to him on a hanger was an Akatsuki coat. Naruto froze.

"Naruto-kun," Reiko-sama's voice was warm, "Congratulations on your victory." Naruto ignored the compliment.

"What's going on?"

"Rokusho-san had proved adequately strong to join us." That stupid, _stupid _smirk! The urge to punch it off the jackass's face proved almost irresistible. Naruto clenched his fists hard enough that the recently sharpened nails drew blood. But Reiko-sama wasn't finished.

"There is just one more test I want to have him go through. Nothing too difficult. Just a fancy of mine." She turned to Naruto. "Naruto-kun, I know it's unorthodox and you've already proved you're more than powerful enough to join the elite, but I would appreciate you doing on last thing for me before I present you with the ring." This smile was anything but benevolent. "Fight Rokusho-san for me, will you?"

-

"Rokusho-san, calm down. I don't expect you to defeat Naruto-kun. I just expect you to survive against him, for, let's say, five minutes? If you last through the time limit, I will make you Akatsuki. If you don't, Naruto-kun gets his elite status. Simple." Aoi's rather hysterical expression smoothed out. The smirk came back.

"Really." Out came Raijin, and for the first time, Naruto saw the blade. It looked kind of pathetic, not even a yard long. But it blazed with chakra. "That shouldn't be any trouble."

And with no warning, he rushed at Naruto.

Naruto was tired. His normal chakra reserves were mostly gone, the cut on his forehead (one that could have been avoided if he wore a forehead protector, and the sole reason he regretted not scratching his Leaf hitai-ate headband) leaked blood into his eyes, and he ached for ramen. He wasn't in the best shape for a fight. But none of that mattered when he saw the enemy, and all higher brain-functions stopped, to be replaced by sheer adrenaline and the thrill of battle.

As the blade arched towards his head, Naruto retained enough sense to dodge under the strike and reach for the hilt. Grasping it in his left hand, he clenched the right into a fist and slammed it into Aoi's stomach. The rain jounin staggered back, surprise written all over his face. He hadn't expected Naruto to be so fast. Naruto kept on moving, this time giving Aoi a rather vicious uppercut that lifted him his feet off the ground and sent him skidding across the floor. This time, it was Naruto who smirked.

"Not very good with that thing, are you?" Staggering to one knee, Aoi glared at him.

"Stupid brat." Before he managed to get to a standing position, Naruto had the front of Aoi's tunic in one fist. The rain-nin's eyes widened. He hadn't even seen Naruto move. The demon-possessed shinobi leaned in close to Aoi's face. His voice was dangerously soft.

"I only allow one person to call me brat. You. Aren't. It." And Naruto threw Aoi viciously into the wall. The jounin hit with a rather sickening crack, and slid to the ground. And Naruto turned away. Considering how easily he had taken the guy down, Naruto thought the fight was over, but before he had gotten five steps, a sharp pain blossomed between his shoulder-blades. Naruto fell to his knees, but managed to roll out of the way when dozens of senbon needles pierced the ground where he had crouched only a moment before. He looked up to see Aoi. The jounin's face was clenched in fury, and blood dripped off the back of his head. The jackass had attacked from behind.

"Stupid _brat_. I am going to _kill _you." It was Aoi this time who had his opponent's shirt in his hand, but he was tall enough to lift Naruto completely off the ground. The blonde shinobi's vision swam. He could feel something wet slide down his back, and knew with a cold certainly that Raijin was still lodged between his shoulder-blades. But Naruto didn't think of that. The one thing that ran through his mind, the one thought that dominated all others, was that he was going to die, because the jackass had attacked from _behind._ Naruto's shields cracked.

-This human attacked us. He must die. _We_ must kill him.-

For once, Naruto's thoughts were completely in sync with the Kyuubi's.

((He's dead meat.)) And Naruto's vision went blood red.

-

The first thing Naruto was aware of when he regained consciousness was a horrible taste in his mouth. The second was a similarly horrible smell right under his nose. He opened his eyes to see Kabuto's face less than six inches from his own.

"Ahh!"

"The smelling salts seem to have done the job. Hold still, Naruto-kun." Naruto couldn't help but wince at the medic-nin shone a light in one eye, then the other. "The pupils are dilating properly, so he at least managed to avoid a concussion."

Naruto started to look himself over, but froze at the sight of the blood that caked his hands.

"What happened. . ." The nasty taste in his mouth was still there. Like metal.

"You were stupid, kid. You turned your back on an enemy you weren't sure was dead. Even with your healing abilities, Raijin is going to leave a pretty nasty scar on your back." Kisame pityingly shook his head. "You got your butt kicked by the more effeminate shinobi within a league."

"Orochimaru's more of a girl than Aoi, and he still manages to kick everyone's ass!"

Kabuto wavered between taking offense and being flattered on behalf of his lover, but he finally decided on ignoring the comment and went back to examining his patient.

"You let out the Kyuubi." Gaara. What was Gaara doing here? Naruto thought his partner had gone to take a bath. How long had he been unconscious?

"About an hour." It no longer freaked him out that the former sand-nin could read his expressions so easily. They were Akatsuki, but more importantly, they were partners. It was to be expected.

"Where is. . ." Kisame gestured. Naruto looked. His mouth dropped open. What in hell. . .

Rakusho Aoi's throat had been torn out, his face frozen in an expression of pure horror. His eyes were wide, glazed over. His stomach was torn open. Naruto finally identified the taste in his mouth. Dried blood. His mouth was coated in dried blood, and something. . . _chewy _was stuck in his teeth. Naruto gagged, bile rising in his throat. Oh gods. . . he'd _eaten _Aoi, hadn't just killed him, he'd _eaten _him.

"What's your problem, kid? You've killed before."

"Not like this!" His biggest fear had come to pass. The Kyuubi had taken over, controlled his body, his chakra. He didn't even _remember _killing Aoi.

Two hands rested on Naruto's shoulders. He tried to flinch away, but they held him fast.

"You didn't lose control, Naruto-kun. You agreed with the Kyuubi's actions. You willingly let the Nine Tails fight Aoi. He didn't wrestle control from you. You just got a little out of hand, that's all."

"Now sit back down. I stitched your back together, but at this rate you're going to pull all the threads out and ruin an hour's work."

Naruto collapsed back onto the ground. Kabuto must have given him some pretty strong anesthetic. He didn't have any feeling between the beginning and end of his spine.

"By the way, Naruto-kun, here. I believe this now belongs to you." Naruto blinked at the ornately carved sword hilt Reiko-sama pressed into his palm.

"Wah. . ." The sedatives appeared to be kicking in. He always got less articulate when drugged to the gills.

"You defeated Aoi, so you deserve his prized possession."

"But I don't want it!" At least that's what Naruto intended to say, but before the words managed to form in his mouth, everything again went black.

-

"Why do I want this thing, again? It didn't do Aoi much good."

"Nothing's wrong with the sword kid, the incompetent just didn't know how to use it properly. By the way he swung Raijin around, it was obvious he hadn't had any sword training. Which you're going to get."

"But I don't want the. . ."

"Yes you do."

After several months and many bruises, Naruto finally got used to wielding Raijin, and it was a pretty useful weapon, seeing as it could block chakra. By the time the mission to Konoha started, he was even starting to become fond of the thing. But not enough that he wasn't willing to part with it. Good sword or not, it had some bad memories attached to it. Aoi had probably deserved to die, but no one deserved to be eaten. And gods, he had tasted _disgusting_. . .


	10. Observing Ninja in Their Natural Habitat

Author's Note: This chapter should probably be subtitled "In Which I Get a New Favorite Character, and Promptly Torture Him." I watched Episode 109 and fell in love with Sakon. Not literally, of course. I'm not that much of a fangirl. This chapter doesn't really move things along much until the end, though the beginning has a play in the next chapter. It is partially the request of a reader that I watched the Sound Four so closely, but they got included in this chapter because I personally enjoyed their interaction. Originally, this chapter was going to be much different, but it wasn't going anywhere, so I wrote this. I give much thanks to my beta, Kagaya Chou.

"Sakura-san?" The fact that Lee reverted to formalities whenever he was unsure about something had always been a little endearing in the past, but right now, it just irritated her. Lack of sleep, mostly, as she worried about the consequences of the Akatsuki alliance and cursed herself for not pushing hard enough to enter the jounin exams this year.

She had been depending on Lee for some information regarding the meeting last night, but despite the fact he had made jounin a year ago, her sweet but ever so slightly clueless boyfriend had spent the evening in an extended training session with Gai. She probably should have told Lee she had wanted him to go, but they'd been dating over a year, and damn it, he should be able to read her mind by now!

"What is it, Lee?" Not the most friendly greeting, and Sakura slightly regretted her harsh tone as Lee flinched and looked away. He might have been able to call himself a master of the Lotus style, and his record might be good enough that he had been asked on numerous occasions to join an ANBU squad, but Lee's self-esteem was still a little shaky when it came to a lot of things. Like her.

((Stupid boy,)) Sakura thought, more than a little fondly. ((You would think after a year he would know my feelings for him run far deeper than that crush I had on Sasuke-kun.))

"Sakura-san, I'm sorry to impose, but Anko-sensei (another weird quirk of his. When father-figures get married, most people are at least slightly resentful against the new wife for a while, but Lee had instantly started addressing Anko as 'sensei' apparently the highest form of respect he could think of. Anko, who found Lee darling for various reasons, had actually been rather pleased) was at the meeting last night, and she gave me a little information about the Akatsuki representatives. I. . . I could tell you a little about them." Sakura was having trouble remembering her reasons for rejecting Lee's advances four years ago. Was she really so shallow as to turn him down on the basis of his hair, eyebrows, and _clothes_?

The chuunin jacket covered most of the sheer greenness of the jumpsuit, and it was slightly gratifying to see how it defined his muscles. And at least she had convinced him to let his hair grow out. The long braid look was much more appealing on him than the bowl cut had ever been.

Okay, so she was a little shallow.

"Thank you, Lee."

She let her mind wander as he relayed the descriptions to her. Having an eidetic memory was occasionally good for something, though it always seemed to desert her when she needed her jutsus most. She wasn't surprised to learn Sasuke's brother numbered among the delegation. Or Gaara. Gaara still slightly scared her, though she hadn't seen the Suna shinobi in four years. Strangulation by sand was a memory she probably would never forget. Her mind abruptly focused back in on Lee when his description of the last Akatsuki, short, spiky blond hair, facial markings, and sharpened teeth, struck a cord in her.

"That sounds like Naruto." Lee quirked his head to the side. He hadn't known Naruto that well, but he had confided in her that he had greatly admired the genin, for his never-say-die attitude and unwillingness to stay down. Though Lee never said as much, Sakura knew he measured himself up to Naruto, and constantly found himself short. Of course he did. Amazing as he had been alive, Naruto dead left too big a shadow to ever really be surpassed.

"Naruto-kun? I suppose it does." They watched the passerby for a while, but before long, Sakura could no longer stand the silence and the thoughts of a teammate years gone.

"Lee, let's go for a walk, okay?" He instantly brightened up, apparently believing that all had been forgiven. She had never been really angry with him to begin with, but sometimes, it was nice to see how happy it made him just to be with her. Sasuke had never taken any notice of her, no matter how hard she tried to get his attention. He was barely passable as a friend, sporadically seen and never there when she needed him. He would have been a perfectly terrible boyfriend. It was still impossible to picture him showing up with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, with reservations to the nicest restaurant in town, as Lee had last Valentine's Day. Despite the romance stories she had loved as a child, having a considerate, loving boyfriend was infinitely better than a moody, callous one who didn't even seem to care whether you lived or died. Sakura had for a long time relied on faith, in the belief that Sasuke just hid her feelings for her. After a while, she couldn't do it anymore. Though Sasuke on occasion showed a liking for her company, Sakura just didn't possess the endless self-confidence that was needed to go for an entire lifetime without hearing the words, "I love you."

"Sakura, is something wrong? You seem kind of distracted." She glanced to the side at Lee, and smiled.

"No. In fact, nothing could be better." Despite the absolute truth of this, Sakura couldn't suppress the niggling doubt that things were just going to worse from here, and the situation was more delicate than she knew.

Screw the diet. This was the absolute last time she went without breakfast. She always felt depressed when her blood sugar was low.

-

"Where the hell is he?"

"Which 'he' are you talking about?" Tayuya sneered at Kidoumaru.

"Orochimaru-sama, of course."

"He told us he was going to Kaizen."

"I know that, shit head. But it's been over a week. He's never gone that long, even when Kabuto is keeping him occupied." The six-armed shinobi shrugged, and went back to his knitting. Tayuya ragged him endlessly about his hobby, but Kidoumaru was long practiced at ignoring her.

"I bet that bitch Hirayama pulled something."

"Tayuya, a girl shouldn't use such. . ."

"Shut up!"

They were all on edge. The rumors of the Akatsuki-Konoha alliance was what had persuaded Orochimaru to go to Kaizen to begin with. All of them suspected treachery. All of them could do nothing about it, and they all reacted to the stress in different ways. Tayuya became even more abrasive with her comrades. Kidoumaru became obsessively single-minded about completing useless projects he normally couldn't care less about. Jiroubou ate compulsively, which was nothing new, but his usual enjoyment in the food disappeared. Kimimaro just became quiet.

As always when Orochimaru was not in the village, the leader of the Sound Five spent an inordinate amount of time by the window, waiting for their master to return. Ever since Kimimaro's disease had been cured by the same healer who had fixed Orochimaru's arms, he had resumed his duties as Orochimaru's second. No one was sure why Orochimaru hadn't taken over Kimimaro's body as originally planned, even though their master's explanation was that Kabuto's defection to the Akatsuki meant Orochimaru required a new right hand, and only Kimimaro possessed the sufficient power and loyalty to be equal to the task.

None of them bought it, but what could they say? Why would they say anything, for that matter.

The Sound had gained power over the past four years. They were not yet equal to the five (now four) great villages, but their strength exceeded the Rain, Grass, and Waterfall, the most prominent of the minor villages. The treaty with the Akatsuki was only an expression of this, and didn't mean much in the long run. It was only a nonagression and trade pact, and they did not help each other against their enemies. And relations were strained at best between the two factions. Reiko and Orochimaru were amiable enough most of the time, but ever since the 'incident,' meetings between the Sound Five and a few of the weaker elite teams more often than not came to blows. Though the Five fought constantly between themselves, when one of them was hurt by an outsider, they closed borders. The Sound protected their own. Only Kimimaro's even temper and the hold Uchiha Itachi possessed over the Akatsuki elite had prevented any more deaths since the first.

Three years ago, shortly after Kabuto's defection, Toyozen Yasuo, a former Cloud-nin whose chosen weapon was sharpened wire, challenged Sakon of the West Gate to a spar. No one knew why the scarred Akatsuki elite had chosen the effeminate Sakon for his opponent. Sakon hadn't cared, and he eagerly accepted the challenge of a fight.

No one besides Yasuo's partner had been present for the battle. Everyone else had been occupied, and Orochimaru hadn't even been in the country, as he was seeking some obscure jutsu to the west. No one even knew the fight was going on. Jiroubou later admitted he had heard Sakon mention a fight, but he hadn't paid any attention at the time.

Everyone still didn't know what exactly had taken place that cold autumn day, in the woods that lay directly between Sound and Akatsuki territory. But it didn't take a genius to figure out who had lost.

It was Kimimaro who found Sakon, hours after the fight had taken place and days since the West Gate shinobi had left the Sound without telling anyone. Kimimaro had taken Tayuya and Kidoumaru to search for their comrade, leaving Jiroubou as the slowest in charge of the Sound until their return.

The scene that met Kimimaro's eyes hadn't been pretty. He knew he had come upon the battleground when he came to an area where the trees were sliced to pieces, and the stink of blood permeated the air, even through the soaking rain that had started shortly after they had left Sound Village. And in the middle of it was Sakon, drenched in his own blood and covered with lacerations that could have only come from a very thin blade. Or a very sharp wire. But the worst of it was the sight of Sakon cradling a head identical to his own, as sobs wracked his crippled frame.

"Ukon. . . oh gods, Ukon. Please, don't be dead. . . you can't, you can't be. Please. . ."

As Kinimaro knew they were going to come after the battle was over, he had thought to bring medical supplies. Sakon didn't even react when Kimimaro tapped him on the shoulder, which alerted the white-haired shinobi to how bad exactly the situation was. Even when gravely wounded, Sakon had always been fiercely protective of his personal space.

After Kimimaro alerted Kidoumaru and Tayuya to his position and started stripping his comrade, it became blindingly obvious he didn't have sufficient supplies or medical expertise to deal with Sakon's condition. The wire had torn through all the muscles in Sakon's left ankle, cut to the bone, and the shinobi had lost far too much blood. But the worst was his back, as the wires had sheared off more than Ukon's head. Kimimaro again reached for his earpiece.

"Tayuya, Kidoumaru, double-time it. We have to move Sakon immediately."

Tayuya's reply was scornful. "How badly did the fag get himself beat this time?"

"Ukon is dead, and unless we get Sakon to a qualified healer, my best estimate is he has three hours to live." That was the first and last time Kimimaro witnessed Tayuya at a loss for words.

-

It had taken months for Sakon to heal. The healers had managed to save the foot, but scars ravaged Sakon's body, and his soul wasn't so readily salvaged. The brothers had been inordinately close, and not only in the physical sense. Despite the fact that Sakon had control of their body, he had still deferred to Ukon as the older brother. Without Ukon, Sakon was lost.

It was only a few days after the healers had declared Sakon fit enough for active status that Orochimaru had sent Sakon away. Even Kimimaro had been unaware of Sakon's whereabouts, and no one had found out anything until the pale shinobi returned.

But now, it was three years later, and all of them had long since found out Sakon's assignment, which was why Tayuya didn't bother to inquire at to where their comrade was. Whenever he wasn't in the Sound, an increasingly common occurrence, he was on his mission. The assignment's status had recently gone from 'long term' to 'permanent.' The mission's specifics had been a surprise to everyone. Who would have thought that Sakon would be the one chosen to become the bodyguard of Orochimaru-sama's heir, or that the heir would require watching over?

After all, Uchiha Sasuke had never needed protection before.

-

"Where were you last night?"

"I was unexpectedly detained." One of the things Sakon hated most about this job was the vague answers. Depending on Sasuke's mood, either it would take forever to get the specifics or Sasuke would just pull rank to get Sakon to stop 'bothering him.'

And in this instance, Sakon really didn't care what Orochimaru's heir had been doing last night. When he first became Sasuke's bodyguard, a light chakra-link had been set up between them, enabling Sakon to know instantly when the Uchiha was in danger. And he hadn't been.

"Why did you want to meet anyway?" From his tree, Sasuke slipped lightly to the ground. As usual, he landed silently, and walked over to where Sakon leaned against a rather large boulder. Why the boy always insisted on invading his personal space, Sakon didn't know, but it was extremely irritating, as it forced him to look up, which only emphasized their height difference. When they had first met, Sakon had held a bare inch over the twelve year old boy, and now, four years later, the teenager towered over him by a good six inches. A most distinctly uncomfortable feeling.

"Did Orochimaru know about this farce of an alliance?"

"It's still Orochimaru-sama to you," Sakon snapped, "And he only found out after the Akatsuki had left for Konoha. He went to Kaizen a few days ago to get the details from Hirayama." The effeminate shinobi smirked. "Amazing, isn't it. You refused to come to the village because the Sound-Akatsuki treaty prevented you from taking action against your brother, and now another treaty is threatening your chances for revenge. How perfectly ironic. You have the absolute worst-"

Sakon saw the fist only in time to watch it descend, landing against the rock less than an inch from his face and cracking the boulder in two. When Sasuke was angry, meeting his eyes was a distinctly unnerving experience. Bloodline or no, the Sharingan's gaze was one straight out of the depths of hell. Though the Uchiha's voice was quiet, the tone was cold enough to make Sakon's blood feel as if it was freezing in his veins.

"Don't forget for one moment, Sakon, that when Orochimaru assigned you to me, you became _my_ servant. I don't appreciate cheek." And Sakon's world erupted in pain as his curse seal involuntarily activated. He had long since learned to tolerate the discomfort that came with the curse seal's first two levels, but the third had been deliberately designed to beyond the pain threshold of the user, but at the same time kept them conscious so they could reap the rewards of the additional power. If they could muster up the strength of will to move, that is.

Sakon was hard pressed to do this as he collapsed to the ground. He thought he might have screamed, but he wasn't entirely sure. Even the foot that dug into his shoulder-blades and kept him from returning to a kneeling position was secondary as the black marks writhed like leeches from his shoulder to every corner of his body, leaving nothing but agony in their wake. Through the red haze, Sakon thought he heard a voice, as low as a whisper but startling in the pain the made every word shake.

"Sasuke-sama. . . please, make it stop. . . Sasuke-sama. . ." It took him a while to realize the voice was his own. The marks retreated back into his shoulder, and Sakon tried to remember how to breathe. The foot was removed from his back, but that pain didn't go away. Sasuke knew exactly where to hit for the most effect. Between his shoulder-blades was the most scarred part of Sakon's entire body, and was the most sensitive to touch. Sakon knew from experience that it would be hours before the violated feeling would fade.

"You know I could do much worse to you." In an odd way, Sasuke's voice sounded vaguely apologetic, as it always did after these encounters. It was a stupid justification of violence, but Sakon knew it to be true. The Sharingan could do far more than copy jutsus. That was only the most basic of its uses, and by far the most harmless. The Sharingan was a tool of war, but more than that, it was intended as a tool of torture. One Sakon thankfully had not been exposed to. Yet.

He pushed himself to his hands and knees, and tried not to throw up.

"Tell me about the Akatsuki representatives."

((It might have been better to ask before you went on your little power trip, you stupid child.)) But he knew better than to say it out loud. He maneuvered himself into a kneeling position, and tried to remember what little he had been told.

"Their leader is Uchiha Itachi, wielder of the mange Sharingan and elite commander. His partner is-"

"I know about them. Tell me about the last one. The one no one recognizes."

"If no one recognizes him, how do you expect me to know anything about him?" Sakon flinched as he said those words, but all Sasuke did was laugh.

"You are amazing Sakon. Either you are extremely stupid or just extremely rebellious. And I know Orochimaru knows something, so don't try to lie to me." The hand that grasped his chin and forced Sakon to meet Sasuke's blood red eyes was cold. "You may have been a gift from Orochimaru, but both of us know that you belong to me now."

There were some truths that couldn't be easily refuted. Ever since Sakon had been assigned as Sasuke's bodyguard, he had become aware of an ever widening gap between their powers. Even without Sasuke's control over his curse seal, Sakon knew he would lose the fight if he attempted to defy the Uchiha. And as ego crushing as it was, Sakon knew that he needed a master. Ukon had been enough, and their relationship hadn't suffered because of Ukon's dominant role. But now Ukon was dead. And without Sasuke to control him, Sakon knew he couldn't lead himself. So Sakon told him. And all the Uchiha did was laugh.

"Naruto, eh? I didn't know he had it in him. This makes things much more interesting." Sasuke's smile was nothing short of insane. "I've been _dying_ for a rematch."


	11. Eating Lunch & Ordering Dessert

Author's Note: For those wondering why I killed off Ukon in the last chapter, the answer is quite simple. I needed some angst and Ukon hasn't appeared in the anime yet, so I have no idea how to write him. This chapter is far more Akatsuki centered than the last. Enjoy.

Naruto didn't actually give the Konoha shinobi any of the details surrounding his acquisition of the Lightening Blade. Most of it was none of their business. So he gave a highly abbreviated and edited version of what actually happened instead.

"This guy named Rokusho Aoi from the Rain tried to join the Akatsuki. The idiot attacked me from behind, so I killed him. I kept Raijin.

"I figure you people want the sword more than I do."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Was a man named Idate with the Rain-nin?"

"Aoi came to the village alone, as far as I could tell. What, did he have a partner or something?"

A bitter smile crossed the examiner's lips. "No. Just a student."

The startled look finally left the lady Hokage's face.

"This is a very generous gift." A pause. For a moment, Tsunade's eyes were distracted, and seemed to be looking at something that wasn't there. Then she dragged her consciousness back to the task at hand. "Though it is early, I believe we should convene until the afternoon. You may explore the village if you wish, though I will ask you to allow your ANBU escorts to accompany you."

Itachi nodded stiffly. "Very well."

Naruto hastily shoved his possessions back into his bag, though he made sure to toss the stale pokey in the garbage on their way out.

-

As usual when they were in a village with no particular mission in mind, as soon as they were outside, the two teams split and went in different directions. Their ANBU escort for a moment exchanged startled looks, before a quiet directive from their leader sent half of the team after each Akatsuki pair.

Their habit of separating in non-combat situations was one borne more out of comfort level than any real desire to confuse pursuers. While Naruto had worked almost exclusively with Kisame and Itachi for two years, and while the two teams worked together on occasion for missions requiring greater numbers, for the most part the shinobi sought the company of their partners. It was mostly by necessity, but partially by Hirayama Reiko's desire to have some semblance of control over the more independent shinobi that the unusual nature of the Akatsuki teams developed.

Some outsiders might have observed the almost unhealthy dependence the Akatsuki appeared to have on their comrades and commented on its apparent inefficiency. Akatsuki working on missions independently died as often as not. The system itself seemed bound to failure, as shinobi were taught to operate alone, and if they lost that ability, they were thought incompetent.

This wasn't precisely true, and considering the lone wolf nature of most of the Akatsuki, the partnerships in themselves were necessary just to keep the shinobi bound together by a common thread, since they lacked the hidden village that gave most ninja a reason to work towards a common goal. Not that all Akatsuki formed such partnerships. Most in fact didn't. There were high numbers of jounin given permanent scouting or guard assignments around and in Kaizen and Akatsuki headquarters, and while such shinobi might gain some camaraderie with their fellows, it wasn't in same league as the bond formed between the teammates of the Akatsuki active. Except for the occasional assistant or major surgery, the medics worked alone, and the council was beyond the comprehension of most people anyway.

As a rule, Akatsuki never fought alone. They rarely ate alone. Considering most Akatsuki were in fact criminals in the countries of their origin, overall, they were surprisingly gregarious. There were exceptions of course, but even Itachi on occasion could be convinced to go to a bar, and Gaara had found a meditation partner in Matsushita Sen, who habitually went out into the wilderness to commune with nature, and didn't object to doing it in company.

It was all an illusion. Casual friendships were common, one-night stands even more so, but close relationships among the Akatsuki were all but nonexistent. There was simply no room for them, and no real need for them. Everyone already had someone, after all.

Kisame wasn't surprised when he and Itachi ended up outside the same restaurant they had eaten at the last time they had been in Konoha, four years ago. The food had been good, the service exemplary, and the place served excellent pork dumplings, which Itachi was inordinately fond of. The sushi wasn't bad either, so Kisame had no objections.

It was too late for breakfast, and too early for lunch, but the restaurant was open anyway. The hostess blinked once at the sight of their high-collared coats and Kisame's Samehada strapped to his back, but either she was an incredibly good actor or just uninformed, because after a moment she smiled broadly and gestured for them to follow her. The ANBU didn't follow them in, though it was easy enough to sense them around the perimeter of the restaurant, presumably either keeping watch or waiting to step in if things got out of hand.

The few other denizens paid them no attention, apparently used to the sight of shinobi armed to the teeth. After both of them ordered, the two ninja sat in silence while they waited for their food. At least that was how it appeared to the ANBU outside. It didn't occur to them that something was slightly odd about Kisame rhythmically tapping his chopsticks on the tabletop. To them, it just appeared as a sign of impatience, a nervous habit. Itachi's occasional tracing of an unseen design on the table elicited even less attention.

It wasn't the code Naruto had learned. That particular signing method had been created so all Akatsuki had a way of communicating silently. It wasn't really a code at all; just a result of working so long and so intensely with someone that the slightest gesture conveyed complete thoughts. Naruto had already started the process with Gaara, but he just thought it meant he was getting better at reading the former sand-nin's moods. Despite several tutoring sessions on the subject, Naruto still didn't fully comprehend what it meant to have the blood chakra bond, something all Akatsuki active shared with their partners.

It was something of a cross between a summoning jutsu and a binding seal. About a century ago, a brilliant (or completely insane; depended on who you asked) shinobi master created a way to bind people to him in the same way summoning jutsus often made humans the masters of animals. There were several problems with the shinobi master's formula. One was it required someone with a conscious control over their chakra, another was the bond went two ways, as it needed a significant blood sacrifice from both parties involved, presumably because free will came into the equation as it didn't for animal summoning jutsus. In disgust, the shinobi master gave up the idea, but his methods remained documented, secreted in his scroll library and forgotten. Until the former sensei of Hirayama Reiko came across it and gave it to his student as part of her course of study. The rest was pretty much history.

Be it through bribery, manipulation, blackmail or outright deception, a surprising number of shinobi agreed to Reiko's terms for being active in the field. One of those who refused was Orochimaru, who valued his independence more than the promise of power. Two of those who agreed were Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame.

They were the youngest and the newest of the ten (now nine after Orochimaru's departure, though really eight as Reiko was excluded from the process), with Kisame a mere three years older than Itachi, and had been thrown together because neither of their fighting styles were really conducive for working with others. Both of them understood the theory of the blood chakra bond well enough, but Itachi hadn't cared about the implications and Kisame thought he could find ways around them.

But the blood chakra bond had been forbidden for a reason, though after its creation it had been used a total of twice and didn't involve human sacrifice. It just happened to be permanent, which Reiko 'forgot' to tell the participants.

When Kisame finally found out that the bond was irreversible, he was torn between the two urges to hunt Reiko down and kill her (unlikely, as the first time he'd insulted her to her face she'd broken all the fingers in his right hand before he'd seen her move), and throw up what he'd eaten for lunch. A blood chakra bond sounded like something out of a really, really bad porn novel, one of those sadomasochist ones with heavy bondage. He'd lost less blood throughout the whole ordeal than he usually did after a decent spar, and now he was permanently stuck with a pale pretty-boy with family issues. Not to mention he seemed to have all the personality of a rotting grapefruit.

It took months for the silence to get anywhere near comfortable. Drawing Itachi into a conversation about anything was difficult. The guy was _the _brooding hero stereotype, or would have been if he hadn't murdered his entire clan in something less than six hours. Gorgeous, powerful, intelligent, and seriously, seriously antisocial.

The only time Kisame could recall Itachi being the one to initiate a dialogue was about a week after they went on their first mission together. Kisame had been cleaning his Samehada (a difficult task, but a strong stain remover helped immensely), and Itachi out of the blue asked him if he could see the sword.

The question had been. . . unexpected. Kisame looked at Itachi skeptically. He didn't look capable of getting the Samehada off the ground, much less holding it, but that Waterfall shinobi Itachi had thrown last week had to have been at least one-hundred sixty pounds, so maybe. . . he tossed his sword to Itachi. The former leaf-nin caught a hold of the handle a good two feet off the ground, but had it in his grip less than five seconds before he let go of the Samehada like it had bitten him. Kisame gritted his teeth and tried to refrain from an irritated sigh as the still-damp blade came to rest on the ground. It had taken him an _hour _to get the sword clean, and now it was covered in dirt because his partner had a newly discovered case of butterfingers.

"Kisame, where did you get that sword?"

As he reached for the Samehada and began looking it over for nicks, Kisame scrambled for a response that wouldn't sound either bitter or petulant. Normally Itachi was one of the least bothersome people Kisame knew, but he had gotten his sword dirty, damn it! "I've always had the Samehada, Itachi-san."

The Uchiha looked at him neutrally as he rhythmically flexed and unflexed his fingers. "A family heirloom then."

"I suppose." Kisame shrugged. He personally had no memory of his parents, but he didn't remember when exactly the Samehada had come into his possession, so it was as good an explanation as any. Itachi didn't inquire further even after Kisame's less than definite response, but instead asked for some disinfectant and bandages from their supplies. Which even made less sense, really, as Kisame couldn't recall Itachi ever getting wounded on their last mission, but it was hardly an unreasonable request.

As Kisame passed the medical supplies to Itachi (this time by hand. No telling if Itachi's clumsiness was a recurring thing) he blinked at the sight of Itachi's left hand, the hand that had briefly held the Samehada. It looked. . . _raw_. Like all the skin had been scrapped off. While the sharkskin sword had a habit of shredding instead of the usual clean cut of most swords, the handle was smooth enough.

"What the?" Had Itachi's hand scrapped the blade by accident? It would sure explain why he had dropped the sword. Still a slightly clumsy move, but much more likely than just dropping it outright.

"Your sword dislikes me." Now Itachi was assigning human characteristics to inanimate objects. Christ, not only was his new partner girly, he was outright psychotic. Kisame was certainly fond of his sword (it was much better balanced than other weapons its size), but even he didn't attribute sentience to the blade.

"Itachi-san, I don't think the Samehada has any real preference for its. . ." With a slightly irritated look in his eyes, Itachi resolutely reached over and gripped the blade's handle with his still uninjured right hand. After a moment, he let go, and showed his palm and fingers to Kisame. This time, not only was the skin scrapped off, blood was leaking from the pores. There was a moment where Kisame couldn't think of anything to say.

"That's. . . never happened before."

"Has anyone else ever wielded the Samehada?"

"No, but who's ever heard of a sword that does _that_," and Kisame made a theatrical gesture at Itachi's hands, "to people who try and use it?"

"Before I met you, I had never heard of a sword that absorbs chakra either." Kisame had to admit that Itachi had a point.

That was pretty much the most involved conversation they shared in the first two months of their acquaintance. Anything Kisame found out about Itachi was sporadic and usually accidental. Like when they traveled far north into the mountains, and and Kisame for the first time overheard one of the Uchiha's thoughts.

((I hate the cold.)) Hardly something deep and soul-revealing, but Kisame knew Itachi wouldn't appreciate it all the same, so he kept his mouth shut about this new development in the bond.

It only took a few days after they started out on their partnership for Kisame to gain a grudging respect for Itachi's abilities, but it took much longer for him to realize how far he could push the young leaf renegade before he started to crack, and what exactly set the prodigy off.

Families, for one. Itachi had no respect for them, possessed an unnatural loathing for them that seemed out of place in the usually stoic shinobi. There was one eventful month when they had been forced south for a vacation by Reiko-sama, who insisted both of them were too intense for such young people. It turned out to be one of those family beach spots where everyone went after their fathers got a week off from work. Itachi's mouth thinned every time they saw a father playing with his daughter, or worse yet, a young man leading his little brother by the hand.

Kisame actually loved the beach. Stupid fish ancestry jokes aside, the swimming was much better in the tropics than it ever had been in the Mist Country, and the water was much clearer. Better for snorkeling. It had been something of a pleasure to teach Itachi, the wonder ninja, how to swim properly. After the Uchiha gained some confidence in the water, he started to enjoy the trip as long as they went to the more isolated places where you didn't run into a toddler every four seconds. He especially liked to observe the more dangerous marine animals.

Kisame wasn't exactly sure Itachi was more relaxed after the trip was over, but he had certainly lost the too-pale vampire look after spending so much time in the sun, and the sea urchin and rock fish samples he procured were later used as the basis for some homemade poisons, as Itachi didn't trust most shinobi suppliers. Kisame could only roll his eyes at that last. Only Itachi would turn a vacation into a working trip.

Small animals. Itachi definitely hated small animals. He was the only person Kisame knew who actually frowned at the sight of kittens and puppies. After a rather prolonged assassination of a prominent family in the far east (the lord had a number of hired shinobi at his disposal) Itachi had made a point of slitting the throat of the family dog whose barking had alerted the guards to their presence.

People who flirted with him. Kisame quickly got used to being ignored whenever they were in the proximity of anyone with more sex drive than was really healthy. He became equally accustomed to the brutal massacre that inevitably followed when some idiot thought Itachi was just being coy and 'insisted' on invading Itachi's personal bubble. These people were thankfully few, not due so much to Itachi's flat out refusal of their offers so much as Kisame's presence. Most assumed he was a bodyguard of some sort, and steered clear after he sent a glare their way. Unfortunately, that tactic didn't work on drunks, the local strong men, beautiful women who weren't used to being rebuked or rich nobles with guards of their own. They had to leave town with some regularity. Kisame learned to order meals that were easy to take with him.

There were a variety of other pet peeves, such as the aforementioned cold and people who talked too much, but those were mere irritants, and for the most part didn't end in an eruption of blood and gore.

It is a well-known proverb that there is a thin line between genius and insanity. From long experience, Kisame would say that no such line exists.

-

Not that Kisame really minded. Itachi might have been a few cards short of a full deck, but it was the jokers that were missing. Rarely used and hardly missed.

Besides, Kisame was fairly sure he himself hardly fit the definition of a sane and stable individual. No shinobi did. And you know what is said about those who live in glass houses. Not that Kisame would really care if someone threw rocks at his apartment, but the expression still applied. Sort of.

Something was bothering his partner. At a time when he was usually on his second platter of dumplings, Itachi was systematically mashing the first into a pancake of dough and pork, a slow and tiresome process when one was eating with chopsticks instead of a spoon or fork. Kisame had already made his way through a dozen sushi rolls, a plate of nigiri (1), half a bottle of sake and was considering if it would be too rude to order some dessert.

The best way to get someone's attention was to take something of theirs without asking. Itachi was no exception, and when Kisame reached across the table to snatch the last remaining dumpling that still held a semblance of its original shape, instinctively the Uchiha blocked the incoming chopsticks with his own, and frowned in a slightly puzzled manner at Kisame. Kisame shrugged.

**_You aren't eating._**

Itachi flicked Kisame's chopsticks away. _-You don't even like pork dumplings.-_

_**Do you think we're going to run into that little brother of yours?**_

_-Probably.- _After one last glance at his lunch, Itachi shoved his plate to the side and with grim purpose grabbed the sake bottle and poured some of its contents into his glass. With the aura of one committing a necessary but distasteful act, Itachi threw his head back and downed the liquor in one swallow. Kisame watched this with slightly morbid curiosity. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be horrified or amused. Itachi always seemed to find it a necessity to be drunk when the topic of family came up.

**_Itachi-san, this isn't vodka shots. You're supposed to sip sake. _**Purposefully ignoring him, Itachi slammed the glass back on the tabletop and again reached for the bottle. Kisame was beginning to get a little worried. Though pound for pound Itachi weighed slightly more than Naruto, he drank rarely and his alcohol tolerance was lower. Usually even one glass was enough to give the Uchiha a bit of a buzz.

**_Itachi-san-_**

_-I hate this village.- _The non sequitor threw Kisame briefly off his train of thought.

**_What?_**

_-Konoha is so. . . weak.- _The second glass Itachi briefly regarded with disgust before he took a large mouthful and swallowed, coughing slightly as it went down. _-And Reiko wants to perpetuate this weakness. Guard it. Help it thrive. She wants it to go on, long after it should have died.-_

So that's what was bothering him. After Itachi's initial outburst back in Kaizen, Kisame thought his partner's silence had seemed a little forced.

As Itachi finished his second glass, Kisame with a pointed look at his partner took a hold of the sake bottle before Itachi could start groping for it and poured the last of it into his own glass. As their waitress came up to them and asked them if they wanted anything else, Kisame made sure to order some strong coffee along with their customary dango (2).

Despite many rumors to the contrary, coffee in of itself didn't stave off hangovers. However, it was the only beverage with enough punch to cover up the noxious taste of the Akatsuki hangover cure, a mix of various herbs and unnatural substances that helped lessen the more unpleasant aftereffects of alcohol.

Kisame watched as Itachi tasted the coffee, grimaced, and dumped in liberal amounts of cream and sugar. It was an act he had observed often enough in their six years together, though usually the little scene took place in the mornings after a bar run instead of as a preventive measure. Kisame himself didn't drink coffee. It tasted too bitter to him and he preferred a decent tea over the near toxic levels of caffeine he found in Itachi's morning beverage. It also made him jittery as hell, while the five cups Itachi consumed in the mornings only seemed to give the Uchiha's thought processes a kick start. The only person Kisame had ever met who was more dependent on the beverage than his partner was Gaara.

**_Itachi-san, I doubt Reiko-sama's real goal is to ensure the survival of the Leaf. She's not exactly the altruistic type._**

_-Her true motivations are unfathomable as usual. The Cloud would be a much better option for trade opportunities. They have access to a broader range of goods and their lords would be far less suspicious of our intentions. It was also a terrible idea to choose Naruto for this mission. He has far too many connections to this village to be reliable.-_

As fond as Kisame was of the kid, he knew Itachi was right. Naruto hadn't had the violent separation with his village that normally ensured that there would be no divided loyalties. He might not have liked many of the Konoha denizens much, but Naruto guarded friendships fiercely and was slow to let them go. He was also tactless and headstrong, both of which were bad characteristics to find in someone who was supposed to help negotiate a treaty between two warring factions. Far too likely to say things he would regret later, by either revealing valuable information or giving insults that could tear the tenuous peace they had with the Leaf apart. If the copy ninja hadn't interfered during the meeting in Godaime's office, it might have already happened.

However, Kisame did find it unlikely that Naruto would just straight up leave the Akatsuki to return to the Leaf. He might be a little more pleased than most with the prospect of an alliance, but his relationships formed within the Red Moon were much more recent and longer lasting than any he had created in Konoha, except perhaps for that one teacher the kid mentioned on occasion, the chuunin who used to treat him the ramen all the time.

They had hours to waste before their next meeting with Godaime was scheduled, so Kisame took his time eating his dessert and periodically raising and lowering his chakra levels to give their ANBU guards something to worry about. He wondered if the Konoha shinobi would let them out alive if the treaty didn't pan out. Probably not. Honor wasn't something the Leaf could afford considering their current war with the Mist and Cloud. Well, as least the food was still tasty. Good to know that some things stayed constant even while everything else went to hell.

Kisame took a bit of his dango and tried not to think too much about the current state of affairs. He didn't like Konoha any more than Itachi did. Despite his homeland's moniker of "The Land of the Bloody Mist," the air in the Leaf smelled far more blood-drenched, seeped in the souls of a thousand wandering warriors seeking vengeance for their useless deaths. Kisame wondered where Naruto was.

-

Sasuke was obviously still unsure in his evilness. Sakon was sure that was the explanation. He couldn't think of any other reason to use such a ridiculous ending cliché. _I've been dying for a rematch _sounded like something out of a kid's morning cartoon. Honestly, some new material would be appreciated. Sakon already knew he was eternally cursed to serve sadistic looney toons who insisted on applying too much sunscreen, but he at least deserved to serve _original_ sadistic looney toons. Who didn't use puns. That would be good.

"Sakon, am I going to fast for you?" As usual, it was impossible to tell if Sasuke was being sarcastic. The little brat didn't even have the mocking tone down yet, and he'd been apprenticed to Orochimaru for what, three, four years? And the kid was considered a genius. . . why? If Sasuke was trying his hand at subtlety, he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Of course not, Sasuke-sama. I was just distracted." Sakon was sure to keep his own sarcasm under control. Genius or no, the Uchiha had learned a few things from Orochimaru, none of them pleasant. He kept on moving and didn't bother wondering about Sasuke's vendetta against the Kyuubi kid. Rivalries could get really nasty. Orochimaru's mild obsession with the sennin Jiraiya was proof enough of that.

-

Naruto was pretty sure a clothing boutique had been there before. The pastry shop looked slightly out of place on the street corner near the clock tower entrance, the sign painted over and peeling. The dim sum sure looked good though, and Naruto's stomach rumbled, reminding him that he hadn't had breakfast and unlike in his childhood, he actually had enough money to go inside and buy whatever he wanted to eat. He glanced to the side at Gaara, who appeared wholly unaffected by the smells wafting from inside the store, but Naruto knew Gaara better than anyone, and the former sand-nin's eyes were staring rather fixatedly in the direction of the meat rolls as they cooled on a rack in the corner. Naruto grinned. It was nice to have a group consensus.

Two people were already in the shop when they entered, looking over the small cakes decorated with frosting behind the glass. Though the shop owner frowned at their Akatsuki coats, he didn't seem inclined to lose business by refusing them service and dutifully asked them for their selections. As Gaara in his usual monotone requested one curry beef meat roll and two barbeque pork, the girl near the cakes (who even from the back looked oddly familiar) turned at the sound of Gaara's voice. She froze at the sight of them, her green eyes wide. Then the boy turned.

"Sakura, is something wrong. . ?" He trailed off when he met Gaara's eyes. Naruto's mind froze. Sakura? Sakura! This gorgeous _woman _was his little Sakura-chan? And who the hell was this guy? They sure looked like they were on a date, but this guy wasn't Sasuke. For one thing, even if Sasuke had an enormous growth spurt, Sakura's date was about six inches too tall to be the younger Uchiha. And his hair was too straight. And unless Sasuke had eyebrow implants. . . Naruto's mind rebooted. Eyebrows. _Thick_ eyebrows.

"Fuzzy eyebrows?" To his irritation, Naruto's voice came out a squeak. But it wasn't so bad, because so did Sakura's when she finally wrenched her eyes away from Gaara.

"Naruto?"

(1) nigiri- raw fish, basically

(2) dango- Japanese dumpling made from rice flour; usually three to four are served on a skewer


	12. Revolving Around a Pastry Shop

PEOPLE, FOR ONCE READ THIS! IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT!

Author's Note: For some reason, I'm in an incredibly good mood. Probably because this story is going to break 100 reviews this chapter, unless my luck completely sucks. Perhaps it is because my birthday happened recently, and the presents are always a good pick me up. Either way, for no real reason, I am going to do something kind of fun for the readers (well, reviewers at any rate). In a random way I'm not sure of yet, out of the next batch of reviewers for chapter 12, one of you gets to pick the specifics of the next one-shot I write. At the end of your review, I would like a character or a pairing, a season, and a place. The story will be at least 1,000 words long and finished before the New Year. I will probably email the winner, but if not, there will be a mention of them in the author's note of the story.

Iruka stalked down the streets of Konoha, emitting an aura of righteous fury that seemed slightly out of place coming from a man that prided himself on not losing his self-control, a necessity in a teacher of the young. Still clad in his chuunin vest and hitai-ate headband, no one dared to comment on the slightly incongruous sight he made with an armful of grocery bags and a kunai gripped in his teeth. Not that he would have noticed. Iruka was a man on a mission.

((This is absolutely the last time I let Genma do the shopping.)) His lover may have made more money than him, but it didn't give Genma the right to be absolutely useless when it came to anything resembling housework. Or cooking. Or anything useful at all. At least Kakashi had dusted once in a while.

Was it really so hard? Iruka didn't ask for much. Just one simple request. 'Buy the supplies for dinner.' He had even given Genma a grocery list. But no, of course it had to be difficult. Nothing could ever be easy with that man. How complicated was it to keep track of a piece of paper?

Apparently not as easy as it looked. Iruka had come home from the academy after a long day's work of trying to teach eight year olds how to throw shurikan properly (and though he loved the kids dearly, no one in their right mind would enjoy teaching children about the dangers of gripping the edges of sharp objects), only to find Genma already at their apartment, cleaning his kunai and reading a magazine. The groceries were nowhere to be found.

Genma hadn't been even remotely contrite. He had just shot Iruka that slow farm boy grin of his (a look bolstered by the toothpick clenched in the jounin's teeth), gave an unconcerned shrug, and suggested they go out to dinner. Iruka hadn't appreciated the proposition.

Why did he always end up with the easygoing, lazy ones with talent but not enough common sense to figure out that it might piss off their boyfriends to be so _freaking _nonchalant about absolutely _everything_!

He needed a vacation. Iruka sighed and kept on walking. Not going to happen. The academy exams were coming up soon, and dear God, if he wasn't around Konohamaru would probably destroy the practice grounds. That boy was far too proud of the fire jutsu he had mastered recently.

Of course, it couldn't hurt if he indulged himself a little. He distinctly remembered a pastry shop being in the immediate vicinity. The one that used to be a clothing boutique. A moment later, he spotted it on the street corner, and changed direction. Genma could wait.

Iruka's good mood faded as his proximity to the shop lessened. Something was in the air. Nothing too dangerous, but there was a potential for violence that Iruka couldn't ignore. He carefully set his groceries on the ground and grabbed two kunai, one from its position in his mouth and the other from his weaponry pouch. His battle sense may have gotten rusty from too many years in the classroom, but Iruka was still a shinobi. He crept towards the shop, staying in the shadows, ears straining to hear something, anything that would alert him to the situation he was about to walk into. There was nothing, at first. Then a quiet. . . something. Iruka moved closer. There were no voices coming from the building, which was rather worrying in itself, but the sound of someone _chewing _wasn't what Iruka expected with so much tension thickening the air, making it seem more difficult to breathe.

As Iruka peered through the window, he identified two of the inhabitants immediately, a simple enough task considering they were faced in his general direction and one of them was a former student. Even with the dread that came with the shock stark on Sakura's face, Iruka felt a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He immediately squelched it. Satisfaction in his correction evaluation of the situation wasn't something to take joy in, even if it did prove he wasn't as rusty as he remembered. Iruka wasn't sure what to make of Rock Lee's thoughtful expression. He didn't know the boy well enough to tell how bad the situation was by how the young jounin was acting. But the sight of the coats the strangers wore was enough to make the blood drain from Iruka's face. Akatsuki. Only the Akatsuki wore the coats ornamented with the red clouds.

There was no way in hell Iruka was prepared to deal with this. He quickly began running a mental checklist through his mind of the ANBU patrol schedules and which would be closest to his position, before something he had forgotten soundly kicked Iruka in the back of the head.

((Idiot, they're members of the Akatsuki delegation who arrived yesterday. They're not here to kill anyone.)) The chuunin relaxed his grip on the knives in his hands with a sigh. Genma had told his about the negotiations three days ago, but he'd been grading papers at the time and hadn't been paying attention. Gods, he was stupid. He'd gotten all worked up for nothing. Then something sharp pricked his jugular. Iruka froze.

"Drop the kunai." Iruka let the knives slip through his fingers and fall to the ground, the sound of impact muffled by the sand covering the street. He kept silent as his unknown assailant padded him down for additional weaponry, but Iruka made sure with his tongue to loosen the needle glued to the roof of his mouth. Now a choice had to be made. Did he go for the eyes and hope to blind his attacker, or the throat?

Unexpectedly, the weapon pointed at the major artery in his neck was pulled away, and the man at his back walked around to face him. "Iruka, what the hell are you doing here?"

Iruka did not remember hearing the man's voice before, and the ANBU wolf mask rendered the man's features unrecognizable, but the tonal inflections of the shinobi addressing him seemed somewhat familiar. Almost certainly a friend of Genma's.

"I sensed something inside the building and went to investigate." A chuckle emanated from the ANBU.

"That's very noble of you Iruka, but you should really leave this kind of thing to those trained for it." Despite the truth in the ANBU's statement, Iruka couldn't help feel a little irritated at the condescending tone.

"Thank you for the advice, but I was able to realize that on my own. So," and Iruka gestured to the inside of the shop, "Are you guarding the Akatsuki representatives?"

"Yeah. Don't know exactly why though. We're not inconspicuous enough to be effective spies with this level of shinobi, and if the Akatsuki decide to pull something, we don't really have the power to stop them. But a mission is a mission. I'd better get back to my post. Make sure not to try and take on the Red Moon by yourself, alright?" Still laughing quietly under his breath, the ANBU faded easily into the shadows.

Iruka realized with a start that he had bitten through his lower lip in an effort to refrain from saying the first thing that came to mind, as the first thing had been far from complimentary, involving snobby ANBU, their pets, and what they did with them in the darker hours of the night. With a quiet curse that he never would have uttered in front of his students, the chuunin bent and retrieved his kunai from the ground, wiping them down with a cleaning cloth and returning them to his weaponry pouch. His face set in a stubborn grimace that he had unknowingly passed to Naruto years ago, Iruka determinedly made way for the pastry shop doorway. There may not be any danger, but he still hadn't gotten his raspberry tart.

-

The inhabitants were still staring at each other as Iruka entered. The chewing sounds Iruka had heard from outside were coming from the scarlet-haired Akatsuki, a short, wiry young man with a half-eaten curry beef meat roll in hand. That one by far seemed the most unperturbed with the silent standoff, looking only mildly curious with the proceedings before him as he swallowed the last of the meat roll and reached in his bag for another.

Sakura did a double take upon his entrance, at first only glancing at him out of the corner of her eye in the manner of one not daring to expose her back to the enemy, and then staring at him wide-eyed, as if she couldn't believe he was there. Iruka was a little confused. He knew a few of his younger students were always surprised when they saw him outside the classroom, believing as they did that their teacher couldn't possibly have a life outside the academy, but Sakura had always had a level head on her shoulders and her blatant shock at his appearance was rather unexpected. He smiled gently at her.

"Good to see you, Sakura. How have you been?"

"Iruka-sensei?"

"Iruka-sensei!" Startled by a voice addressing him from the Akatsuki side of the room, Iruka turned. And stared.

He personally had very few memories of the Fourth. The man had died when he was eight years old, and he had only met the Hokage once. But there were numerous photos of him, Yondaime memorialized in libraries and weaponry shops and homes all across Konoha. This boy was like the Fourth come back from the dead. Except he wasn't. The dark whisker-like facial tattoos were something only one shinobi had ever possessed.

"Good God. . ." He didn't realize he had spoken out loud until the blond Akatsuki's face broke out in a broad grin.

"Iruka-sensei, it is you!" The voice was wrong. Far too deep, and lacking the childishness Iruka remembered. But only one student had ever sounded so elated to see him, as if his mere presence was something to be treasured

"Naruto. . ." The boy may have been the vessel of the Kyuubi who killed Iruka's parents. He may have left the Leaf and consigned Iruka to four years of heartache. He may have joined an organization made up of the most murderous assassins alive, but the shinobi before him was most definitely Naruto. And that was all that mattered.

Naruto's joy faded into worry for Iruka as his former teacher's eyes brimmed over in tears. "Iruka-sensei, are you all right. . ?" He didn't have time to say anything else as Iruka took two steps forward and enveloped Naruto in his arms.

"Naruto. . . oh God, Naruto, you're alive, you're alive. . ." A moment later, he felt Naruto carefully return the hug. Iruka felt the pang of years lost. The boy had grown up without him. Four years ago, there would have been no restraint in the Naruto's embrace.

"Yeah, Iruka-sensei, I am. And I'm so, so sorry for not telling you." Naruto looked up at him, still an inch or two shorter than his old instructor. This time, the worry was not for Iruka, but for himself. "Will you forgive me?"

"I already have."

-

With no warning, Kankuro stopped dead where he stood. Temari turned back to her brother in irritation. Their groceries were getting heavy, both of them had slept past the time when breakfast would have been at all appropriate, and Temari was more than ready for lunch

"What is it now, Kankuro? You've been twitchy all morning."

"Can't you feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"That. . . wave of cloying sweetness. Of over saturated sappiness." Kankuro shuddered. Temari stared at him blankly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Imagine eating a bag of Peeps (1) in five minutes flat and having most of the sugar stick to your face."

Now Temari shuddered. She had actually done that an Easter some dozen years ago and had been sick for hours. She still had occasional nightmares of a gigantic marshmallow bunny eating her whole. Though it seemed to her that Kankuro was just having hallucinations as a result of his lingering hangover and subsequent dehydration, Temari could emphasize with what he was experiencing.

"Where is the feeling coming from?"

"The pastry shop over there." Indeed it was a pastry shop. Temari could smell the baked goods from here, though they lacked the overwhelming sugar smell Kankuro had described. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her yet again that it was almost noon and she still hadn't eaten anything today.

"While we're here, we might as well grab something to eat." She had barely made it three steps before Kankuro grabbed the back of her shirt and started dragging her backwards. Quickly shifting all the groceries to one arm, Temari unslung her fan and slapped Kankuro rather roughly across the face. He staggered backwards and tripped over an unevenness in the paved street. She stared down at her younger brother in a confused fury.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Without his makeup, the mark left by the fan's impact was much more apparent. Sometimes it was a little unsettling to see so much of their father in Kankuro, but the panicked look was something she had never witnessed in the Kazekage.

"There's something in there."

"Yeah, some barbeque pork meat rolls that I intend to have for lunch. Now get up and stop being bizarre. Could you do that for five minutes?" Muttering under his breath about pushy older sisters, Kankuro nevertheless pushed himself to his feet and followed her towards the pastry shop, though he didn't look happy about it.

As they grew closer to the shop, Temari began to feel uneasy. There was something undeniably familiar about the chakra emanating from the building. She soon found out why as she pushed open the door and witnessed the embrace of two men she didn't know, though both were obviously ninja. Slightly uncomfortable with the sight (she had nothing against homosexuals, but she really would have appreciated it if they kept their affection at home), Temari's eyes shifted to the left. And there was Gaara, staring at her calmly as he licked his fingers clean of the last of the meat roll he had been eating.

"Hello, big sister."

-

Sakon was bored. He didn't really mind doing nothing for hours on end, but it was tiresome to stand guard while Sasuke drowsed in the sun. He was also edgy. It may not have been enemy territory for the Uchiha, but it certainly was for him, and he tensed at the passing of each ANBU patrol.

Some lunch would have been nice too, but he habitually left most of his supplies scattered around the edges of the forest surrounding Konoha to evade detection, and all the food he had on him was some dried fruit and a few soldier pills. Sakon tried to satisfy himself with the fruit as he glanced with longing at the pastry shop only a few hundred yards away. He couldn't smell the pastries from here, but the place looked very popular. The Sound-nin felt a brief moment of envy for those who could wander freely throughout Konoha.

Banishing those impossible thoughts that did nothing but distract him, Sakon settled down to wait for his master to wake up and continue his search for the rival he had thought dead.

(1) Peeps- marshmallow rabbits and/or ducks coated in sugar, mostly eaten around Easter


	13. Switching Viewpoints Far Too Often

Author's Note: A few things I missed last time. The reason Chapter 12 took so long is that my beta and I had to play internet tag for a while, first my email messing up, then Kagaya having to study. Thanks to her, by the way, for this chapter and the last. I'm making the seasons challenge a four part thing, "Season's Greetings," if you will. I still need a summer. I already have a fall, winter and spring. And I broke 100. Hell, I broke all my expectations. 114. Wow. That is so. . . wow. For those wondering about the rather questionable title of this story (and I know you're out there), keep in mind that "Fox and Shark" was originally going to be a one-shot, and though it doesn't really fit the story now, I've grown rather fond of it.

Side note: I have a new fandom. Full Metal Alchemist, most notably Greed. Drools. Okay, just Greed really. It's a good anime in of itself, but God, Greed. He is my favorite character. And I don't mean Full Metal Alchemist character. I mean out of _all _fandoms. And I haven't even seen him in the anime yet. Yes, I am lame. Either way, make Gigabomb happy. Write Greed fanfiction.

The choices so far for "Season's Greetings":

Saiko Kaiya: Morino Ibiki, teahouse, winter

patty: Uchiha Itachi (with a dash of Sasuke), Uchiha estate, autumn

daflippnay: Gaara/Sakura, outskirts of Konoha, spring

It wasn't the dango's fault, really. It wasn't even Itachi's, though watching the Uchiha down six cups of coffee in a row (and dear God, he hadn't even put sugar in the last three) did nothing for Kisame's appetite. He just didn't like eating with an audience. Even the tea (ordered after it became apparent that Itachi wasn't going to move anytime soon) tasted bitter, left a sour, sticky residue, an aftertaste that lingered unpleasantly.

It wasn't the ANBU. Kisame at least knew where they were, as they weren't doing all that much to hide their chakra signatures. These spectators were new to the game. But they were better than the ANBU, hid their chakra entirely, and that made Kisame a little twitchy. He absentmindedly drummed his fingers on the tabletop once, twice, but forcibly stopped himself. Nervous habits were fine as long as they were feigned. Not so when they weren't. Not only was it a weakness, it made him predictable. Which was also a weakness. Whatever.

Itachi didn't appear to notice anything. He was concentrating so hard on the bottom of his coffee cup that Kisame briefly contemplated informing his partner that tea leaves were the preferred method of divination, but shook off the impulse. Quips were only worth it with an appreciative audience, and Naruto wasn't anywhere within the vicinity.

He couldn't even tell where the onlookers were located. Sometimes Kisame wished he had spent a little more time on his genjutsu skills, if only to improve his perception, but it had never really seemed necessary, especially after he had been partnered with Itachi, a prodigy of an elite school of ocular ninjutsu who saw through everything. They were always together. Kisame couldn't recall a time in the past six years when one of them had gone into a fight alone, and who needed two pairs of eyes when one sufficed. Of course, the Sharingan eye didn't do much good when Itachi wasn't using it.

**_Itachi-san. . . _**

-_Behind you. Second shop to the right. A man and a woman. Jounin. We fought them before.-_

That being said, even without the use of his Sharingan, Itachi's chakra sense was much more acute than Kisame's own.

They had been to Konoha once in the entirety of their partnership. In that interval, they had battled seven shinobi, two of them genin and one far beyond jounin. Kakashi seemed unlikely. The loud one's expertise lay obviously within the realm of taijutsu. That left two.

Who either possessed amazing precognitive skills or realized they had been discovered, because they strolled out of the shop like they hadn't been spying on the Akatsuki, the woman (Kurenai, that was what Itachi had named her) with a coat slung over one shoulder, the man toying with a cigarette. Kisame's lips involuntarily curled into a snarl. Asuma.

He really shouldn't hold anything against the man. The fight had hardly been personal. Before that day, they had never met before, Asuma only knowing Kisame by reputation, Kisame not even having that much. Even so, the scar still hadn't entirely healed, as chakra weapon scars never did, broke open and bled at the slightest opportunity. As it did now, a trail of blood rolling down his cheek as he tried to restrain himself from doing. . . something, anything. Kisame didn't notice the discomfort, though he thoughtlessly wiped the blood away before it managed to drip from his chin. His eyes never shifted from the tabletop. Sometimes a good sense of smell was far more useful than eyesight. And far less conspicuous.

They entered the restaurant, chattering far too earnestly for their act to appear natural, even if their previous encounter hadn't already made it obvious that neither shinobi were much for idle talk. Sloppy.

Sitting down across the room, Kurenai cheerily ordered a plate of tempura (1). Asuma, sounding far too relaxed, quietly requested some yakitori (2). As soon as the waitress had left, both Konoha ninja fell silent. Itachi sipped his coffee. Kisame's tea cooled on the table.

This was probably the point where a confrontation should have occurred, but it wasn't going to. Truces really tended to kill fight scene opportunities.

-

The pastry shop was starting to get crowded. Not that the owner minded all that much. Buying something was the most apparent rout to stave off the inevitable conflicts brewing, so business was doing pretty good, and even if there was some property damage involved, he had ninja insurance. Living in Konoha, it was something of a necessity.

Of course, after Iruka and Naruto had finished their teary greeting (a.k.a. the disturbingly gay seeming but actually platonic hug), there were questions. A lot of them. Mostly on Sakura and Iruka's end. Kankuro and Temari were still recovering from the shock, and Lee was stuffing his face with rum balls, intent on getting as close as he could to drunk, considering all the bars were closed. This might not have been the best idea with so many agitated shinobi in the room, but this was Lee. Hammered was the only way he stood a chance against the Akatsuki if things got a little precarious. Or maybe he just didn't feel up to dealing with the situation sober. Whichever.

"So. . . how've you been?" Of course, just because Iruka and Sakura were asking questions didn't mean their queries would be all that meaningful.

"Alright, I guess."

"The Akatsuki?" Or coherent.

"What about them?" A helpless gesture from Iruka. He was obviously uncomfortable with the subject. Sakura was not so much.

"You betrayed Konoha, you betrayed your friends, you let us think you were dead for years. What do you mean, 'What about them?' What _not _about them, you ass."

For the most part, Naruto did not have a sarcastic side. His anger rarely ran cold. Someone needed to offset Gaara and Itachi's generally icy demeanors, and Kisame had too thoughtful a personality to be a decent counterpoint. But even Naruto, surrounded by those who, if not emotionless, at least had an unnatural control over their passions, had learned the advantages of impersonal enmity.

Sakura didn't mean much by her insults, if anything at all. Her relief and worry just had a tendency to manifest itself in a temper. Those close to her knew this. Naruto hadn't been comrades with Sakura in over four years, and in his most recent experience, rarely was anything said in jest. So he responded in kind, though not in anger, his clenched fists relaxing and the furrow between his eyes smoothing out. For a moment, his expression frighteningly mirrored Itachi's.

"Sakura-san, I can't tell you anything about the Akatsuki. We try to keep ourselves as anonymous as possible."

Sakura stared at him, open mouthed. "Naruto. . ?"

The blond ninja gave a slight shrug. "Sorry."

Naruto walked out of the shop. No one moved to stop him. Iruka and Sakura were too paralyzed, too disoriented by Naruto's uncharacteristic (to them) demeanor, Lee too unsure. Kankuro and Temari hadn't been involved in the situation at all. It was Gaara who broke the silence.

"Do you want to talk?" The question was directed at Temari. Blinking out of her shock, the fan wielder nodded.

"It would be best if we went somewhere private." A glance at Kankuro. "Our apartment isn't too far away."

It took two nudges and a very sharp elbow to the ribs for Kankuro to snap out of his stupor and get a clue. "Uh, yeah." Well, the puppeteer had never been prized for his eloquence. Good thing Temari did most of the talking anyway.

Then they left as well, the door shutting barely with a whisper, only a quiet click as the doorknob turned. The shop wasn't so crowded anymore, but more silent than it should have been. And though Iruka thought about pursuing Naruto, his former student's eyes had seemed so distant, so alien, so not _Naruto_ in the moments he had addressed his former teammate, that Iruka hesitated. The boy had grown up without him. He no longer knew what to say, because no words coming from him would be _right_, as they once would have been. So Iruka stayed where he was, feeling oddly abandoned, as though his place had been usurped by another.

-

Sakon had fallen into a sort of half-doze brought on by tedium and the nice warm sun when a sudden presence melted his lethargy away, startling him to a point that he nearly fell out of the tree. The sound-nin had never been particularly adept at reading chakra signatures, but a side effect of his training in sound jutsus had given him a finely tuned ear, unnaturally so. Chakra _vibrated _when enough of it accumulated in one place, which often gave Sakon an edge in determining if in fact a technique actually was powerful enough to merit dodging, or just required a simple deflection. So it was now, but never before had he felt so _much _of it.

Orochimaru and the Third had generated a similar amount in their encounter four years ago, but then it had been limited, focused on jutsu requiring a great deal of concentration. Not so, now. This was indefinite, but constant, a never-ending pulse that reverberated through the air, coming from the direction of the shop. Enough to make Sakon's teeth ache.

Sasuke opened one drowsy eye. Even half-lidded, his gaze was piercing. "What is it?"

How to describe it? Sasuke had never developed any particular interest in sound jutsus, preferring instead to rely on his strengths. It was something of a weakness, to leave one of the senses so underdeveloped, but Sasuke had always relied on Sakon for his ears. Most of the time it worked, but in instances like this, it was like trying to describe color to the blind. Best stick to small words.

"Someone leaving the pastry shop has an inordinate amount of chakra."

"How much?"

"As much as Orochimaru-sama when he fought the Third." It was then that one eardrum cracked. Sakon hissed quietly, as the lightest trickle of blood made its way down the side of his face. This wasn't good. "Maybe a little more."

Sasuke immediately pushed himself into a light crouch, his eyes fading to red. The only identifying characteristic Sakon could see from this distance was the Akatsuki cloak, but one thing the Uchiha had concentrated on was improving his eyesight, if only to make it easier to copy jutsus at greater distances. After a moment, Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Naruto."

-

This was ridiculous. He had stomped off like a three year old just because Sakura, of all people, had insulted him. Big deal. Back when they had worked together, she called him everything under the sun, most of it uncomplimentary. But here he was, four years without seeing her and he had lost his Sakura immunity (Naruto had to chuckle at this. He made Sakura sound like a disease or something. Well, maybe a variety of leech).

He just wasn't used to it anymore. Gaara didn't insult people. Whatever he said, he believed to be true. Gaara didn't aim to hurt with his words. Or at least, he had never really tried to hurt Naruto. No one did. The last person to so blatantly insult him was Aoi, and who really cared what your enemies said anyway? No one he associated with anymore worked like that. All of the Akatsuki had developed their self-control to the point that they said nothing without thinking about it first. Even Kisame stuck to the blatant truth when he wanted to get a point across.

Naruto was the exception to this of course, but his chakra had always worked best on an instinctual level anyway. Calm and rational was worse for him than not, so Reiko-sama hadn't pushed the meditation on him as harshly as she did on the other active. Just enough to keep the Kyuubi under control, but not too much. It wouldn't do for the nine tails to be less than half rabid with fury when Naruto most needed a power boost.

The problem with this was that Naruto didn't have much of a reign over his temper. He had barely managed to stave off the usual reflex in time to save Sakura's life. He supposed he really couldn't blame her for her ignorance. It wasn't like Konoha had much interaction with the Red Moon over the past couple of years, so none of the Leaf could be expected to know about their social taboos. It was just. . . you didn't insult the Akatsuki, no matter who you were. You just _didn't._

But really, what excuse did she have for insulting him to begin with? It wasn't like Sakura had paid much attention to him when they were comrades, had treated him as something lower than dirt, as if he was worth less than. . . well, Sasuke, at the least. Who was she to act like the wronged companion? He didn't owe her an explanation. He didn't owe her _anything._

-Then kill her.-

((Oh shut up.))

Konoha was really starting to get to him. He hadn't thought it would be this bad. He had thought the pain of a lifetime of being ignored would scar over or something, but here he was, four years later, only to find out it had festered into something even nastier. God, had he always been this bitter, so _angry _at everything?

Naruto had to admit to himself that he probably had been. Iruka's friendship had salved over the hurt, and the later regard of Kakashi, Sakura, and perhaps even Sasuke had made it easier to ignore the hostile stares he received on the street, but there had always been the nagging feeling that everyone thought he was doing something wrong, simply by existing. It was hard not to feel a little antagonistic towards people, when humanity itself had decided the universe would be better off if he lay down and died. Even now, he could feel the eyes of the villagers boring into his back, though presently it was because of the coat he wore, instead of the demon inside him. Despite the difference, the stares felt the same. Hateful and. . . painful.

He had to get out of here.

Turning a corner, he quickly blanked out his chakra signature (a somewhat difficult task, considering how much energy he had unconsciously accumulated), pulled off his Akatsuki coat, threw it into his bag (an even more difficult task, as he was already over-packed), and quickly cast a minor illusion. The streets were not that crowded, but they certainly weren't deserted, so it was easy enough to blend into the crowd, now that his distinctive spiky blond hair was hidden under his genjutsu.

While it was kind of cool to walk right past the ANBU without them noticing a thing, Naruto hid his grin behind a veneer of boredom. Itachi was going to be angry as it was. Wouldn't do to get caught over something so stupid.

-

"What do you mean, 'disappeared'!" The hapless chuunin flinched under her verbal onslaught.

"Ho-Hokage-sama, the ANBU squad lost track of him in the inner part of the city."

"How could they lose track? What are they, color-blind? The bloody coats are bright red, for God's sake!"

"Genjutsu, perhaps-"

"ANBU are trained specifically to see through illusion techniques. If they can't see throw a genjutsu simple enough that they can't sense the chakra signature, then what the hell are they doing as my personal bodyguards? This isn't Itachi we're talking about, people. I thought the Kyuubi kid was supposed to be a failure at this sort of thing."

No response was forthcoming. Her aides looked at each other uneasily, though their eyes often flickered towards the door. Pathetic.

((Like any of them are fast enough to escape if I was _really_ angry.))

"Shizune, collect ANBU squads four and thirteen and search the village. This might very well be the opportunity the Akatsuki were looking for to pull off their real objective, but we have to be discrete. We already have Asuma and Kurenai observing Itachi and Kisame."

Tsunade turned to the shinobi at her back. "Kakashi, you're on Gaara." The copy ninja nodded.

There was a moment of complete silence. "What are you waiting for? Move it, people!"

-

If it hadn't been for Sasuke's Sharingan, they would have lost the trail. As it was, Sakon was having a hard enough time staying out of sight (he had almost had a heart attack when two ANBU had streaked past him, barely three feet away) There was no way in hell he could actually keep track of the Akatsuki kid. It was something of a stroke of luck when their target headed for the outskirts of the village, into the forest. Despite the careless path cut through the undergrowth by the blond shinobi, Sasuke'e eyes continued to glow red, narrowed with grim purpose.

It was not a comforting sight, even though the intensity wasn't directed at him. Normally, Akatsuki or no, Sakon wouldn't have been confident of this Naruto's chances. But considering how much chakra he had heard earlier. . . Sakon was still deaf in one ear. Besides, the whole situation just rang of a setup. Akatsuki never traveled alone. Sakon knew this from experience. If an Akatsuki active was heading off into the woods, his partner had to be somewhere in the vicinity.

If it actually came to a fight, the truce between the Akatsuki and the Leaf didn't have much of a chance of surviving the first five minutes. Come to think of it, neither did he.

Bodyguard duty. Crap. This is what he got for pledging his soul to a power-hungry madman. There was no retirement plan.

(1) tempura- Japanese vegetables and seafood dipped in batter and deep-fried

(2) yakitori- chicken dipped in barbeque sauce and grilled


	14. Repelling Attacks in Various Locations

Author's Note: Was it just me, or was Kidoumaru very good looking in his death scene? Just a thought. The plot actually starts to get moving in this chapter, which is kind of nice, as it gives me an opening to keep this fic from being one of those stories that runs on forever and dies inexplicably. "Season's Greetings" update. I finally got a summer. Shino, forest clearing, summer, from Ramen-sama. Thanks to Kagaya for the beta, as usual.

The silence between the sand siblings was awkward. Bad enough that they hadn't seen each other in two years, but their parting hadn't been amiable. Hell, it was as far from amiable as Naruto was from six feet, and in case you didn't know, that distance is really, really far. What did one say to a long lost, estranged sibling, especially when their last encounter had consisted of them watching said sibling tear their hometown apart as a gigantic raccoon. Despite their overall understanding of their little brother, Temari and Kankuro were still slightly uncomfortable with Gaara's tendency to kill everyone at the drop of a spoon.

Even though Gaara's instability had been toned down quite a bit after his defeat by Naruto four years ago, he was still moody, uncommunicative, constantly denied his relation to them, shifted moods for seemingly no reason, and if it weren't for the fact that he had no growth spurts whatsoever, most people would have assumed that the young sand-nin had hit puberty a few years early. Temari and Kankuro knew better, of course. Gaara had acted that way since he was five. If anything, puberty had made him _less_ prone to mass murder.

One would ask why Temari and Kankuro so tolerated their little brother's outbursts, but only if one were a complete imbecile. Besides the fact that they lived in the same house, Gaara had threatened them constantly with various forms of torture and death, usually for inane reasons that no one else would think twice about. The fact that he hadn't actually gone through with any of his threats didn't mean much; Gaara murdered people on a daily basis, and he was undeniably missing a few marbles. Just because at one moment in time he decided to spare them out of some twisted form of brotherly affection didn't mean he would the next, especially considering he didn't even seem to recognize his siblings a good portion of the day.

The two elder children of the former Kazekage had the definition of a dysfunctional relationship with their little brother. They at once loved him and feared him, alternately feeling the need to protect Gaara (though they weren't sure from what, as anything that could possibly hurt Gaara could kill them without batting an eyelash) and the need to get the hell out of his way. Kankuro in particular was rather mixed about his brother. Gaara obviously considered himself superior to both of his siblings, but he saved most of his contempt for Kankuro. It took a few years for the two older sand siblings to find out why, but it wasn't really their fault. Gaara's hatred for Kazekage simmered beneath the surface, out of sight, and only emerged when he lost control. It was disconcerting for both of the older sand-nins to find out that Kankuro had been cursed, not blessed, to greatly resemble their honored father. Kankuro started wearing Kabuki face-paint the day after their discovery.

Kankuro loved his brother, to be sure. That was undisputable. But some of the time, Kankuro hated Gaara, too. Hated him for his effect on the rest of the village which made everyone avoid the sand siblings like a plague, something that would spread if you got too close. Hated Gaara for humiliating him whenever Kankuro worked up the nerve to assert himself. Hated him for the contemptuous attitude with which he regarded all lives not his own. Sometime Kankuro wondered how he could love Gaara, but hate him almost (but not quite) as much.

It is difficult to imagine how the genocide of Suna actually made their ties to Gaara grow stronger. He had destroyed everything they knew, their very way of life. Gaara had extinguished every single life within the confines of Suna's walls. . . except for theirs. Their little brother had not teetered over the brink of insanity. Gaara had taken a running leap off the cliff and onto the rocks below. Only Temari and Kankuro knew that he had purposefully let himself go, had fallen asleep and allowed Shukaku complete control. Their little brother had let his tenacious grip on his sanity slip away, but still, he had spared them. Still, when it had seemed that there had been nothing of Gaara in the crazed, acid yellow eyes of the sand demon Shukaku, their little brother had turned around. And walked away. And they could love him for that (1).

The walk the sand-nins made to Temari and Kankuro's apartment went without conversation. As stated before, the silence was awkward. As also stated before, it is rather difficult to decide what to say to a long-lost, estranged sibling who turns into a homicidal demonic raccoon. When they finally reached their home, Kankuro considered going for the face-paint, but he had forgotten to restock at the store and was completely out of the stuff, so that option wasn't feasible. Besides, it didn't feel necessary. The threat wasn't there anymore, if it ever had been. So the three sand siblings just stood there, looking at each other. Gaara had always been the most self-confident of them, so it was slightly surreal to see the ever-present sand shifting under Gaara's feet, showing the discomfort that his face had never learned to express.

It couldn't be said that it was Temari who broke the silence, because not a word was spoken. After a moment of looking over her baby brother (he was taller now, older, had gained some muscle in his formerly slender frame), a decision was made. Two steps forward was all it took. She wrapped her arms around her littlest brother, still shorter than she was, though not by as much. It felt strange, not because of the gap in time when their lives had ceased to coexist, but because. . . this was the first time. Before, Shukaku had always been in the way. Now, the sand didn't even stir.

Gaara froze. It was only temporary, but Temari could feel his muscles contract beneath her hands, but slowly, ever so slowly, he cautiously returned her embrace. Kankuro watched his two siblings, considering, before ultimately deciding his intrusion would just ruin the moment. He turned to the kitchen to make them all some lunch, but not before finally ending the unsettling quiet of the room.

"Welcome home, little brother."

-

However, while Kankuro was setting the groceries on the counter and searching through the bags for ramen, he felt a strange need to brush his teeth. His mouth felt. . . odd. Like he'd eaten a ton of sugar and it had started to rot his teeth.

((Crap. That's twice in one day, and I haven't even eaten anything yet.)) What was wrong with him? He had visited the dentist just a month ago, and he'd been given a clean bill of health. Setting the water on to boil, Kankuro headed for the bathroom.

Mouthwash didn't help. Neither did floss. The puppeteer was starting to become worried. Whatever was going on with him, it might be serious. Didn't people about to have strokes feel their mouths go numb? Well, his mouth wasn't numb exactly, but. . .

There was really only one sensible course of action. Kankuro reached for the phone book.

-

"Something's amiss."

Kidoumaru looked up from his project, feeling a little irritated at the interruption. He had been working on this quilt for almost a month, and what with Tayuya's constant bitching and having to go out for groceries all the time to compensate for Jiroubou's appetite, he'd hardly gotten any work done in the past week. Now Kimimaro had decided to join in. This was ridiculous. Just because the guy could beat the crap out of him didn't give him the right to walk into Kidoumaru's room without bothering to knock.

"What else is new?"

"Orochimaru-sama hasn't come back yet." Kidoumaru rolled his eyes. Kimimaro may have been a genius of his bloodline, but he could be ridiculously single-minded.

"What else is new?"

"But it's been almost two weeks."

"Kimimaro, the rest of the village has accepted the fact that Orochimaru-sama has finally given in to Hirayama's incessant nagging and joined the Akatsuki Council. Congratulations, you're the Otokage until Sasuke-sama wises up and ditches the Leaf."

Kimimaro eyes widened. Oh boy. The guy was not only obsessive, he couldn't tell sarcasm from a dead skunk. Where was Sakon when he needed him? No one else around here could take a decent joke.

Still, you had to take pity on the Kaguya prodigy. He worshipped the ground Orochimaru walked on, but Orochimaru preferred the company of Kabuto (who wasn't even a Sound anymore, for God's sake) over the attentions of his loyal second. Of course, most of the time Kidoumaru preferred Kabuto over Kimimaro too, but the principle still stood.

"Look, Kimimaro, it was just a. . ."

"That is not what's wrong. Two of our border guards were found dead with their throats slit about five minutes ago. Orochimaru-sama's tardiness just compounds the problem."

Shit. This is what you got when your Kage regularly took vacations. It left the village vulnerable.

"An ANBU squad needs to be sent out, then."

Before Kimimaro had an opportunity to respond, Tayuya rushed into the room.

"Kidoumaru, drop the doily and move your ass! We've gotta go!"

"Kimimaro already told me about the border-"

"Not that, you shithead, we're under atta-" She was cut off by the sound of something very large hitting the tower. A second later, the shockwave followed.

Watching Kimimaro and Tayuya pick themselves off the floor from his position slammed sideways against the wall, Kidoumaru gazed mournfully at the ruin that had once been his room. The quilt (he had almost been done with the thing, damn it) had been blasted out of what once had been windows, and were now just gaping holes in the wall. His projects had been damaged to various degrees, and not a one of them had escaped unscathed. Whoever these invaders were, they had done something that had never been done before. They had made Kidoumaru very, very angry.

Ten seconds later, he found himself running down the hallways with the other two elite sound-nins, dodging wreckage and jumping over (newly appeared) holes in the floor when appropriate. Then something occurred to him.

"Where's Jiroubou?"

"Who the hell do you thing is guarding the main gate?"

-

The Akatsuki kid at last started to slow down, and then stopped near the remains of an old cabin. After taking a quick look around, he finally just sat down with his back against a tree, and started looking at the sky. This. . . made no sense.

Apparently Sasuke didn't think so either, because his eyes increasingly narrowed as he watched the blond shinobi. Then something in the Uchiha's face changed, the lines between his eyes smoothing out as his expression shifted from its usual intensity to something more. . . considering.

The scene was absolutely quiet, but what made Sakon most uncomfortable was that he couldn't hear the Akatsuki's partner anywhere. Either he had gone deaf (partially true, as his leaf ear drum was still damaged, but he could still hear better than most), the partner was a master at hiding his chakra, or the partner wasn't here. Despite the unlikelihood of number two (Gaara of the Sand wasn't exactly well known for his subtlety), and the fact that he could still sense chakra if his hearing was so impaired, the first and second options still seemed more possible than the third. Personal experience, and right now he was willing to rely more on that than his own senses.

Without warning, Sasuke jumped down from his perch on the tree branch to the right of Sakon. He landed with no perceptible sound, not even to Sakon's ears, but the Akatsuki elite was already on his feet by the time Sasuke had pushed himself erect. They evaluated each other silently. Then Sasuke smiled.

"Hello, Naruto. It's been a long time."

-

Naruto had always rather liked this part of the woods. Sure, it was kind of depressing that he gravitated towards the very spot where he had found out why most of Konoha hated him, but that had also been the time that Iruka had told him that he loved Naruto regardless. This was also where he had learned the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and the place he had most often trained, so in the end this cabin in the forest had more good memories associated with it than bad. It was also a great place to think. No one but Iruka knew about this spot, especially since Mizuki's execution.

He caught Sasuke's scent before he saw him, though he had still been caught off guard. Sasuke hid his chakra too well for Naruto to be able to sense it, especially as distracted as he was, but all those survival exercises with Kisame in the desert (_real _survival exercises, not the childish ones of the academy that involved no chance of death whatsoever) paid off. His instincts were constantly on full alert, especially when alone, and he had three kunai at the ready by the time Sasuke had hit the ground.

They looked at each other, but for once there was no challenge, no contempt in Sasuke's eyes. Still, it was rarely a bad thing to be cautious. Quickly calculating the distance between them in his head, analyzing all possible avenues of attack, of course the first thing that came out of his mouth was inane. When Sasuke smiled that old smirk of his (though it still lacked the contempt) and greeted him, Naruto's response wasn't exactly on topic.

"What the hell! Why are you still taller than me?" Crap. Could he sound any more immature? Even if it did bother him that the height gap between them had actually _grown_, he didn't have to _say_ so.

Sasuke's smirk widened. "Is that the best you can do?" Bastard.

"If you're planning on attacking me, you might want to get off the explosion notes first." _That _got a reaction. Throwing himself rather hastily to one side, the Uchiha barely dodged the circle of minor explosions that erupted under his feet, decimating the grass surrounding the cabin. He rolled into a crouch, teeth bared and the Sharingan turning in his now blood-red pupils.

"Was that an invitation to fight, Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, no, it's just a habit I got into after a rather sleep-deprived mission in the mountains. Scattering the notes, that is. I disguise them as wood chips, makes them harder to dodge. I really don't want to fight you right now, Sasuke." The old Sasuke would have taken offense. The older version actually calmed down, his eyes fading back to their original black, but not before Naruto saw the third pinwheel in both of the Uchiha's eyes.

"Sasuke, you achieved the next level of the Sharingan."

Sasuke looked thoughtful. "Four years ago, you never would have noticed."

Naruto shrugged. "I guess. So, why'd you follow me?"

"Originally, I wanted to ask why you joined the Akatsuki when before you were so determined to become the Hokage."

"And now?"

"I think I know the answer. You never really wanted to become Hokage, did you Naruto?"

"Of course I did. Why else would I work so hard?"

"Recognition. Acknowledgement. Becoming Hokage was just the path most obvious to you. But I think you decided you didn't want the villagers to respect you. I think you sought acknowledgement another way. Power."

Naruto grinned, slightly uneasily. "Sasuke, you're making me sound kind of. . ."

"You joined my brother, for the power you never would have gotten in this pathetic village. The villagers here would have never recognized you as anything other than the vessel of the Kyuubi," And how the hell did Sasuke know about that? "But elsewhere, you could get respect through your reputation alone." Except for the triumphant glint in Sasuke's eyes, the Uchiha was completely calm. This wasn't the Sasuke he knew. The Uchiha youth had never been this perceptive as a child.

"Um, shouldn't you be a little more angry about the whole me joining Itachi thing?"

"I was. Then I realized you were just like me. You saw the opportunity to gain strength, and took it." Was Sasuke actually _acknowledging _him? Since when did Sasuke regard him as an equal? Then something about the Uchiha's last statement rang a bell in Naruto's head. Sasuke was comparing them because of similar avenues they had taken for power, but Sasuke was still a Leaf-nin. Wasn't he?

"Sasuke, what are you talking about?"

"The Leaf stifled me, refused me the training I needed to get stronger. So I found a village that gave me choices, instead of took them away." The Uchiha continued speaking as he pulled off his Konoha forehead protector and tossed it contemptuously to one side. "I couldn't join them openly of course, as their treaty with the Akatsuki made my plans for revenge rather more difficult to execute, but now, this new alliance is also getting in my way. I don't see why I should hide my allegiances anymore."

The sight of Sasuke pulling a Sound hitai-ate headband out of his weaponry pouch and decisively securing it to his forehead should have made Naruto angry. Naruto could still remember his former outbursts whenever Sasuke insisted on obsessing over his avenger status, remember insisting that doing the right thing was more important than revenge. He couldn't summon that righteous anger now. Because the old lines between right and wrong had not only been blurred, but erased entirely. Konoha was not the epitome of goodness and honor as he had once thought it. They took on as many bloody and immoral missions as any village, let their weak be oppressed by the strong, let a five year old child cry because everyone sneered at the sight of him, and turned away. He himself had left the village and his old dreams behind. And he had never looked back.

"So, when did you join Orochimaru?"

Sasuke looked slightly surprised at the evenness of Naruto's voice, but he responded easily enough. "Three and a half years ago."

Some random facts clicked within Naruto's head. "Hey, you're the heir Reiko-sama was talking about, aren't you?"

This time, Sasuke's smile had more than a hint of pride. "Yes."

"This is so cool! I didn't know it was you." Another light-bulb lit up. "Hey, the Akatsuki and the Sound have a treaty, so we should get together and spar some-"

"Sasuke-sama, get down!"

Naruto had no idea where the yell came from, but the sudden shower of kunai that flew right over Naruto's head as he threw himself to the ground gave credence to the voice in the trees. He crawled over to the position Sasuke had taken behind the cabin.

"What the hell was that?" The Uchiha's Sharingan was already activated as he scanned the area. Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"A unit of Cloud shinobi. One jounin, three chuunin. Sakon, take them out."

"Yes, Sasuke-sama." Ooooookay. So the guy who had warned them was a subordinate of Sasuke's. A pretty powerful one too, seeing as almost immediately the chakra signatures of the three chuunin were snuffed out, and the jounin's life was extinguished less than five minutes later.

The Sound shinobi returned, and Naruto got a few surprises. The first was that despite the fact that the ninja's voice had been decidedly masculine, the shinobi in front of him looked like a girl, and the lipstick didn't help. The second took a few moments to register, mainly because it was the fulfillment of a lifelong dream Naruto had lost hope in years ago.

"Naruto, it seems Konoha is under attack. Several other Cloud patrols passed about a hundred yards on either side of us."

"Several Mist regiments are probably here as well. They tend to attack in tandem with the Cloud and overwhelm with numbers." Sasuke and Sakon turned to Naruto expectantly.

"You're shorter than I am." The look the slight Sound-nin shot him was rather confused.

"What?"

"It's never happened before."

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing. Sorry. Erm, what were you saying again?"

Naruto tried to pay attention as the two Sound shinobi (hard to think of Sasuke as a Sound instead of a Leaf, but that's what he was) bantered possible strategies back and forth and debated whether Sasuke should reveal himself or wait until after the invasion, but it was difficult. He always had trouble standing still at the planning stages of missions, always wanted to get _moving _as opposed to waste time mapping out every step of an assignment.

After the argument degraded into discussion about possible ramifications regarding foreign relations (or something, by then the whole thing had become too complicated for the blond shinobi to really comprehend), Naruto could stand it no longer.

"Look, let's just help them and worry about the consequences later. We've wasted enough time here!"

Sakon rolled his eyes. "Why should we?"

The effeminate jerk wanted logic? He'd get logic. "Considering the impending treaty between the Akatsuki and the Leaf, most of the other major villages are going to feel threatened by the alliance, which is probably why this attack is happening in the first place. The Akatsuki and the Sound already have a peace accord, but it is merely a nonaggression pact and doesn't make allowances for war. The Sound lacks allies and needs them, considering the number of enemies they have, but this infighting between the main villages gives them a bargaining position to further strengthen their ties to the Akatsuki. Unfortunately, this also places them at odds with the Mist and Cloud, so as a natural progression of the Akatsuki-Leaf treaty, the Sound and Leaf will inevitably join in coalition at some point along the road to present a united front. The assistance of two of the Sound elite during a Cloud-Mist invasion will leave the Leaf in the Sound's debt, thereby giving them an edge when they finally enter into negotiations with Konoha." Naruto grinned in triumph at the dumbfounded looks he was receiving. No way could they beat that!

Then Sasuke's eyes narrowed in understanding. "Naruto, who did you steal that argument from?"

Maybe they could beat that. Shit. "Um. . ."

"Who cares where he got it? The kid has a point." Naruto stifled an indignant response to the 'kid' comment. If there was one thing he had learned of value in the Akatsuki, it was this: don't refuse backup when it's offered, whatever the source. A.k.a., don't be a dumb-ass.

Sasuke stifled an irritated sigh. "Whatever." The smirk resurfaced. "Regardless of what happens, today is the last day I'm spending in this village. So I suppose we might as well."

It took less than thirty seconds for them to decide on a course of action, as the next stage of "planning" basically consisted of Naruto suggesting they attack from the back to catch the Cloud and Mist unawares and Sasuke not coming up with any objections. As they moved through the underbrush, Sasuke in front to better see what enemies they might encounter and Sakon hanging back to better hear possible ambush, Naruto couldn't help but feel a strong sense of déjà vu.

"Hey, Sasuke, just like old times, isn't it?"

Naruto couldn't see the smirk, but he knew it was there. "Back in our genin cell, doing training in the forest."

"Sakon isn't exactly Sakura, though."

"No. He's prettier."

"Stronger too, by what I saw."

"And you aren't nearly as stupid as you used to be, _dobe_."

"Well if it's any comfort, you're still an arrogant jackass, Sasuke_-chan_."

(1) Which just goes to show how screwed up Sasuke is. His big brother butchers the Uchiha clan and spares Sasuke, but is the brat grateful? Noooo. That being said, it could be Temari and Kankuro who are nuts for loving Gaara _more_ after he destroys everything they know and love, but I like the sand-nins more than I like Sasuke, so they're right and he's snot-nosed, so there.


	15. Reacting to Surprises the Shinobi Way

Author's Note: I was rather busy these past couple of weeks. Work, classes, the usual. That's it. I really do apologize for the delay. For those wondering about the internet references made in this chapter, I've noticed that the level of technology in the Naruto world is rather ambiguous. On one hand, most everyone walks around on foot. On the other, we see motor boats and televisions in peoples' living rooms, as well as electric lighting. The one thing that doesn't seem up to speed is weaponry, but I suppose the ability to use chakra negates the need. As a small rant I've been wanting to get out for a few weeks, I have a thing about character bashing. A lot of fanfic authors demonize certain characters to make a convenient antagonist, which is fine under some circumstances, but a lot of the time it just cheapens the story. I refuse to give in. You may have noticed in this story that occasionally characters say insulting things about other characters (Sasuke's rather ridiculous brooding tendencies and Sakura's resemblance to a leech, for instance) but I try to keep the characters true to themselves when I actually write them. It just irritates me when writers make Sakura out to be a bitch as a plot device to get Naruto and Sasuke together. Realistically, she might be a little surprised and hurt, but she'd get over it. She wouldn't convince herself that Naruto had bewitched Sasuke and plan to get Naruto thrown out of the village. Stuff like that pisses me off. So don't do it, people.

Itachi was on his tenth cup of coffee. This was starting to become ridiculous. Or maybe it already was. Kisame's legs had cramped half an hour ago, and he was pretty sure the owner hadn't tried to kick them out yet only because of the enormous tip Kisame had given their waitress (he had to apologize for Itachi's ill-humor _somehow_). Or maybe it was the Samehada. Or the fact that Itachi's gaze flickered to the color of blood whenever anyone got within ten feet of their table. That was probably it.

He may have been a shinobi, but sitting still for hours on end was tiring. What Kisame wanted to do more than anything was stretch his legs out and get in a decent fight with someone before dinner. But Itachi was in a Mood. Meaning he was probably stuck here until the negotiations opened up again.

Whatever anyone else believed, Itachi wasn't normally temperamental. However, on occasion it was just best to not do anything to antagonize him. Now was a good example. Kisame had a feeling his partner was going to be like this until they finally got out of this godforsaken village.

When Itachi's eyes next faded to red, Kisame looked up with some disinterest, expecting to see the strangely persistant restaurant owner edging as quickly as possible towards the door. But the owner wasn't even in the room. And Itachi was staring at a wall.

"Itachi-san?" The Uchiha's eyes narrowed. His gaze, Kisame realized, wasn't so much focused on the wall as on something past it.

He sensed the chakra signatures only seconds before the two Konoha jounin (who were now long past dessert and were getting almost as many dirty looks as the Akatsuki team), at least as far as he could tell from their reaction as they started ordering people out the back of the restaurant.

Too little, too late, as the side of the building exploded with a blaze of chakra.

-

"Look, searching out all the strongest fighters will take forever. Let's just head to the center of town and take out all the guys with Mist and Cloud forehead protectors we run into on the way. The most powerful shinobi are probably going to kill the Lady Hokage anyway."

"This attack was well planned. They aren't foolish enough to try and battle Tsunade. They're going to go for the academies and hospitals, killing the young and injured to weaken Konoha's power base. Moving towards the Hokage's tower is a waste of time. That's where the highest concentration of Leaf-nin will be, and it isn't like they will welcome our assistance."

"Yeah, well, you tossing your Konoha hitai-ate headband doesn't help. They'll probably attack us on sight, especially with you and your shiny new forehead protector."

"You're one to talk, _dobe_."

"At least I had the sense to hide my coat, ya red-eyed _bastard_."

Sasuke's lip curled. Naruto bared his teeth. And with a snort that conveyed all the contempt he held for shinobi without the sense to stop arguing in the middle of a battle, Sakon reached over, yanked off Sasuke's Sound hitai-ate, and thrust it into the Uchiha's hands.

"Sasuke-sama, if none of us wear items that identify our home village, everyone will hesitate to attack us. This arguing is useless. If we stay in an open place, the Cloud and Mist will simply follow the scent of blood and the sight of the bodies of their comrades. We aren't trying to truly benefit the Leaf in any way, we're simply trying to create a debt of honor for Konoha, and it doesn't matter what enemy shinobi we kill, as long as we _do _kill. If we wait any longer, this invasion will be over and our efforts wasted." The pale-haired Sound-nin last comment was biting. "And if you're going to discuss me with your former comrade, Sasuke-sama, please keep in mind that I am a _Sound_-nin. I do not appreciate being compared to a woman."

As Sakon pushed off from his perch on the rooftop and landed on the hospital roof two buildings to their left, Naruto turned to Sasuke with an eyebrow raised, former disagreement forgotten, a slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "God, Sasuke, who is this guy, your bodyguard or your mother?" Sasuke smirked. A shout came from two roofs over.

"I can still hear you, Akatsuki-brat!"

"Who are you calling a _brat_, half-pint!"

Sasuke sighed, and quickly transferred his Sound forehead protector to his weaponry pouch before pulling out two well-sized kunai. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about alerting the Mist and Cloud to our position anymore. The idiots have already done that." A well-placed stab knocked the Cloud chuunin crouched behind Sasuke off the roof entirely, staggering backwards as the shinobi stared confusedly at the gaping hole in his chest. The resulting thud more resembled a dropped sack of potatoes than the end of a human life. Sasuke stared contemptuously down at the body, three stories below.

"Fool. Never try to sneak up on a Uchiha." Obviously, the Cloud chuunin's teammates didn't feeling like heeding the warning.

-

It was a unique experience to fight back-to-back with someone who was basically a complete stranger. Unique, and kind of unnerving. With Gaara, Naruto always knew he could rely on his partner, as a person and as a shinobi. With Sakon. . . well. From the little scrap with the Cloud-nins earlier, Naruto knew the Sound-nin was more than competent, but whether he would put that competence to use in watching Naruto's back was another question entirely. But Naruto got at least one pleasant surprise, when it became obvious that Sakon had considerable experience working in a two-man team. Unexpected. The slight shinobi had struck Naruto as a solo fighter, but he shouted out startlingly accurate warnings about incoming attacks, and their fighting styles synchronized with astounding speed.

"You've done this before." Snatching out of the air a shurikan aimed at the small of Naruto's back, Sakon's response was curt.

"Once upon a time."

"Not with Sasuke, then?"

"Sasuke-sama prefers to fight alone. Lightning jutsu, left." Naruto leapt off the ground in time to see the chakra attack slam into the spot he had been standing, cracking the tiled roof.

"What happened to your partner?"

"My brother was killed in a duel with an Akatsuki elite." Naruto stumbled on his landing, nearly tumbling off the roof of the tea house they were fighting on. A hand grasped his sleeve, pulling him back to safety.

"Don't get distracted." A sudden flare of chakra over Sakon's left shoulder alerted Naruto to a possible problem. Grabbing ahold of the material of his new comrade's vest, Naruto vaulted over the edge of the building he had almost fallen off of mere seconds before. A blast of pure chakra shrieked immediately over their heads. Naruto grinned from his perch on the side of the building. Next time he saw Kakashi, he'd have to thank the jounin again for teaching him how to climb trees the shinobi way.

"If you're gonna lecture me, follow your own advice."

-

It just figured that the village would be attacked when she was in the shower.

After Naruto had stormed out of the pastry shop, Sakura had been split between several possible choices. One option was to burst out crying, except there was no way Sakura was going to revert to old habits and turn into a pathetic sissy because an old friend acted like a jackass. Another was to punch someone, but the only people available were Iruka-sensei and Lee, neither of whom deserved it. The last was to drag Lee back to his apartment (she, sadly, still lived with her parents) and get rid of some of her frustration with a prolonged make-out session. This was the most feasible. Lee didn't mind.

Still, there was some tension left over, even after a considerable amount of tongue got involved, and Lee didn't object to her using his bathroom. It wasn't like she didn't all the time anyway.

So while her boyfriend prepared some lunch, Sakura rinsed off the considerable grime she hadn't gotten rid of in her hasty after-mission scrub the day before. Almost immediately after she had rubbed the conditioner into her hair, the ceiling caved in, sending a small cloud of crushed plaster swirling throughout the room. The three Mist shinobi who had come in with the roof landed lightly, their backs to her.

Silently thanking all the gods she knew of (and Kakashi-sensei, for it was him who had bestowed this specific piece of wisdom upon her), Sakura slowly reached for the kunai holster attached to her ankle, the one thing she never took off. The Mist-nin turned. Everyone froze.

((Damn it damn it damn it damn it. . .)) Hastily sticking her kunai into the shower wall to free up her hands, Sakura ran through a series of seals in quicky succession. The enemy ninja got into defensive positions.

((Perfect.)) The Mist-nin may have been chuunin, but they were obviously rookies not to recognize the jutsu she was using. She couldn't help but send them a smirk as she faded into the wall. One of the Mist shinobi swore.

"Genjutsu! The bitch used genjutsu!"

"Then she's still in the room. Spread out!"

((Definitely rookies.)) Sakura slid along the wall, another kunai in hand, moving towards the nearest Mist-nin. Three feet. . . two feet. . . one. . .

As she reached for the Mist chuunin's throat, the wall separating the bathroom from the living room exploded. Not collapsed. Not crumbled. Exploded. And there was Lee, presenting a rather incongruous figure, still dressed in his favorite apron patterned with squirrels and acorns, hair dusted with flour, and the most murderous expression she had ever seen gracing his face. In one hand was a spatula. In the other, a rather vicious looking katana. Sakura hadn't even known Lee _owned _a katana.

"Where is Sakura-san?"

One of the Mist shinobi sneered. "Are you participating in a bake sale or a battle, Leaf-nin?" Lee turned. His eyes were cold. Sakura only saw a flicker of green as one of the taijutsu expert's hands flicked out, but the Mist-nin collapsed to the ground less than a moment later, his mouth gaping with bewilderment. Out of his throat protruded the tip of the spatula, blood slowly dripping down the handle. Sakura's eyes widened. So did the eyes of the surviving Mist-nin.

((Holy shit.))

"I am only going to ask this one more time. Where is Sakura-san? Answer me truthfully, and I may spare your lives."

This seemed like an opportune time to reveal herself. Sakura let her illusion fade.

"It's alright Lee. I'm fine." Her boyfriend had her in his arms before she had managed to finish her second sentence, katana dropped and forgotten where he had entered.

"Sakura, you're alive! You're uninjured! You're. . . naked. . ." Sakura hadn't thought someone with such a dark complexion could blush that red. He hastily let go of her, eyes towards the floor.

"I. . . I apologize Sakura-san. I did not mean to interrupt your shower, and I did not intend to violate your privacy in such a rude way. It is not befitting of a gentleman to. . ." The Mist-nin took the opportunity Lee presented with his babble to escape through the roof, thankful to get out with their lives. They weren't stupid enough to fight such a powerful shinobi who didn't seem completely stable. Sakura rolled her eyes, ignoring the retreat of the Mist-nin.

"Lee, its fine. Under such circumstances, I really don't mind if you see me naked." Lee took his gaze off the linoleum.

"Really?"

"Yes. Though, Lee, umm." This time, it was Sakura who blushed.

"Would you mind getting me some clothes? I don't think mine are wearable anymore."

-

On some deep, intrinsic level, it seemed incredibly stupid that he was teaching back at the academy less than half an hour after his encounter with Naruto. He supposed that was what happened when they got such a short lunch break, but really, how was he supposed to concentrate? Even if Konohamaru was rather intent on blowing up half the practice grounds, just then, it didn't seem to concern Iruka as much as it usually did. Let one of the other instructors deal with the young pyromaniac for once.

It was with some dread that Iruka witnessed an ANBU rush through the front gates and furiously whisper something to Minoru, the instructor of the nine-year-olds. This scene was disturbingly familiar, and became increasingly so as the ANBU left and Minoru made his way towards Iruka.

"The village is under attack. Mist and Cloud. We have to evacuate the children."

"This is a full scale invasion, I take it." The other instructor nodded. Iruka sighed.

"Well, we haven't had one of those in a while. It will be interesting to see if our students remember their evacuation drills."

Minoru looked at his askance. "Iruka-sensei, how can you be so blasé about this?"

"Why do you think we're establishing an alliance with the Akatsuki?"

Minoru shrugged helplessly. "I couldn't say. It's all a little above me."

Iruka smiled slightly. "You'll understand soon. I've heard Uchiha Itachi is quite terrifying to fight. Having him on our side will be quite a welcome change."

Iruka gathered his students quickly, though only half his mind was on the process. He may have spoken of the Uchiha prodigy, but he had been thinking of Naruto.

-

It was one thing to invade a country, something else entirely to protect your own home village from being invaded by someone else. For one thing, it was a lot harder. Kidoumaru hadn't known he could actually run out of spit. He was so dehydrated after an hour that moving gave him dizzy spells, and everything started to become a little fuzzy around the edges. Sometimes it really sucked for all his jutsus to rely on the percentage of water inside his own body. When someone thrust a water bottle in front of his face, he had to blink twice to realize what it was.

"Shithead, just take it before you fall over."

"Thanks." He was still rather thirsty after chugging the canteen, but the migraine receded slightly and objects came a little more into focus. "How are we doing?"

"More of them are dead than us, but we're still losing. They outnumber us two to one, easy."

"How's your chakra?"

"Shitty. You?"

"I'm alright. The dehydration's the real problem." He shook the water bottle. "Got any more of these?"

"Our kitchen was the first thing to go."

"You know, it's times like this that I think it was a really stupid idea to move our headquarters above ground."

Tayuya snorted. Kidoumaru turned to watch as his teammate activated her curse seal, the red lines moving in an intricate pattern, right to left, before finally fading to black. She blew a piercing note on her flute, and three more of her chakra monsters materialized. The short melody she played sent her creations lumbering towards the largest concentration of enemy shinobi.

"You really shouldn't do that, Tayuya. You're already exhausted."

"Fuck off."

Kidoumaru relented with a sigh. Tayuya had some issues when it came to listening to her teammates. Kidoumaru found it hard to believe that she was still edgy about being the only girl, but who knew. It wasn't like he understood women.

"You know, what I can't figure out is why Iwa is invading us to begin with. I thought they were isolationists."

"Orochimaru-sama probably pissed their Tsuchikage off when he refused to stop the expansion of the Sound. They're just dealing with us before we become too powerful to easily annihilate."

With a sudden and unexpected heave, the ground surrounding the tree they were perched on convulsed, and with a final shudder, the oak began to sink into the earth. Tayuya swore.

Kidoumaru shot his teammate a weak grin. "Looks like we've been found out."

"Fuck this. Let's head back to the center of town. This sneaking around the woods is taking too long." Kidoumaru nodded in agreement. He began to look around for a route back to the village. It was with a sinking heart that he realized that it wasn't only their tree that was sinking. It was all of them.

"Hey, Tayuya, could you throw a kunai at that clump of dirt over there?"

"Why?"

"I'm testing a theory." Giving him a slightly odd look, his teammate for once complied without an insult, pulling a smaller throwing knife out of her belt and casting it at the indicated spot some ten yards away. The ground sucked up the weapon with nary a sound, sinking below the surface in seconds. The two Sound-nin looked at each other.

"Genjutsu?"

Tayuya blew a low note on her flute. Nothing happened. "Damn it!"

"This is the real deal, then."

"No shit."

"I think we're in trouble."

-

"Orochimaru-sama, do you really think it is such a good idea to leave your village for such a long time?"

"Probably not, but Kimimaro is perfectly capable to look after Sound affairs for a few weeks. Besides, it's been years since I've been on a vacation."

"Kimimaro isn't the most stable of personalities."

"Which is exactly why I chose Sasuke-kun as the heir instead. I said a few weeks, not forever." Orochimaru smirked at his lover. "You worry too much, Kabuto-kun."

The white-haired medic-nin sighed. "I suppose you're right. And this is very nice. The hot springs at Kaizen are rather lacking."

"It happens when you live so close to the sea. Pass me the bath oil, will you?"

"Here you are." They sat in silence for a few minutes. "Orochimaru-sama, one thing does concern me a little. Won't the Five be a little anxious about your prolonged absence?"

"Hardly. I sent a letter to Kimimaro weeks ago. He can reach me if something drastic occurs."

"Um, Orochimaru-sama. . . I don't know how to tell you this, but Sound Village doesn't have a mailing address. Unless the policy has changed in the past three years, all shinobi assignments are handled by email."

A pause. "That might be a problem." The sannin sighed. "I apologize, Kabuto-kun, but I believe I will have to cut our week spa a little short. Kimimaro does not handle stress very well."

"Knowing him, he's probably already on his second panic attack."

"Quite possibly. Now, where did we leave our towels?"

-

It was a pleasure to be able to sit in her room and still be able to watch the events unfold all around the world. Witnessing the invasion of the Leaf, the slow but steady destruction of the Sound, Kabuto-kun and Orochi-kun naked in the baths. . . that last was the most enjoyable. Hirayama Reiko truly had to congratulate herself. Buying Sandaime's crystal ball on eBay was perhaps the savviest maneuver she had carried out in the past year, and that was saying something. Who said only the young had a good grasp of technology?


	16. Inventing New Tactics & Failing Anyway

Author's Note: I would apologize for taking so long like usual, but this thing is roughly 5,500 words. Took me forever to get down. To write this chapter, I had to wait for Episode 120, because until then I really didn't know what Sakon's fighting style was. It didn't help much, so I finally got a hold of the manga and that helped more. He's way more of a taijutsu fighter than I expected. And now I love Ukon. The brothers are way too sweet together, in a 'bad guys that finally give a shit about each other' sort of way. I'm beginning to wish I hadn't killed him off. And now I really hate Kishimoto. And a character who before I actually sort of liked. Not going to spoil anything, but anyone with half a brain knows how the brothers end up. One funny thing. When I wrote in the author's note of chapter one that the bar scene was part of a longer arc that was never going to get written, most of it revolved around Naruto's time prior to entering Konoha. And was actually rather more bloody than this. And angsty. And was Naruto/Gaara. Yeah, you read that right.

shikome kido me: While most anime-obsessed (yours included) know what a tanuki is, it isn't the most well-known of animals. I am aware that Gaara is indeed possessed by a tanuki, but I am trying to keep this mostly coherent for non-Japanese who have in fact never even seen a picture of a tanuki and only have a vague idea of what one is. The raccoon is the closest equivalent (appearance-wise, at least) so I use it, even though it reveals my American-ness and possibly prejudices those who actually know what a tanuki looks like against me. Please don't send any more notes on the matter, even though I actually wouldn't mind a link to a picture of a tanuki (do you have one, perchance?)

Archangel Rhapsody: That was kind of the point. This fic was supposed to be a one-shot, and so the title doesn't really fit anymore, but now, I kind of like the name, even though I don't know what I was thinking (or smoking) when I came up with it.

Peter Kim: Sort of. . . what you have to understand about Hirayama Reiko is though she is probably the most manipulative and devious character in this story, she is also rather hedonistic and only evil when it suits her. Example: She actually does want a threesome with Orochimaru and Kabuto, there isn't any underlying motive to it, though she does enjoy making Kabuto blush and driving Orochimaru to distraction.

Red Crow: That's what I thought too, but in one earlier episode Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi use fairly sophisticated looking headsets, so I just threw logic to the winds and decided communications technology is the most advanced aspect of the Naruto world.

-

Something Kisame found out very quickly was that moving into a defensive position was almost impossible when he couldn't feel his legs. Itachi, on the other hand, had somehow managed to avoid the whole cramping problem and quickly shoved the sturdy, hardwood table on its side to block the brunt of the explosion. All Kisame had time to do was slam his sword into the floor and hope to the gods that it would absorb such a diffused blast of chakra. When he finally regained his eyesight from the aftereffects of a rather bright eruption of energy, he saw that it could and luckily did. The ground before him was scorched black, but all that had gotten past the Samehada was what remained of the wall. Kisame pushed himself to his feet from his crouched position on the floor, and quickly surveyed the room.

The civilians had mostly evacuated. Those who hadn't were in the process. The ANBU squad was together in a corner, in a fierce discussion that still managed to be beyond the range of Kisame's hearing. The two Konoha jounin were staring at him. So were the three Cloud-nin standing in the perfect position to be the ones who had in fact blown up the wall. Kisame smiled.

"Hey, Itachi-san. These look to be the ones who ruined your coffee break, eh?" Itachi nodded, pinwheels turning in his eyes. Privately, in a corner of his mind hopefully hidden from the prying eyes of the mange Sharingan, Kisame was wishing there was some way he could thank these shinobi for coming in and breaking Itachi out of his sullen mood and into a more bloodthirsty one. Maybe he would send their families gift baskets. . . or flowers to their funeral. With a start back to reality, Kisame realized he was already pulling a cleaning cloth out of his coat to wipe off his sword the blood of the sole Cloud-nin Itachi hadn't gotten to yet. He couldn't even recall killing the guy. Geez, even if the Kumo ninja hadn't been all that good, fighting on automatic wasn't such a great idea. And the Konoha jounin were still staring at him. Finally, Kurenai spoke up.

"What did you do?"

There was no way a Leaf jounin could be that green. "I stabbed him with my sword until he stopped moving. Or is that a trick question, Kurenai-san?"

"I mean with the wall."

It was then that Kisame realized something. The Leaf-nin had no idea of the capabilities of the Samehada. He had assumed that they did, but now he realized that the only Konoha shinobi to ever see his sword at work (barring Itachi, of course) was Naruto. And Naruto as a genin wouldn't have been astute enough to mention his sword's abilities to his sensei in the three day gap between their encounter with the sennin and being kidnapped.

There was no way in hell he was revealing his abilities to some Konoha ninja. So instead he just grinned, and continued working on getting off most of the blood on his sword. They didn't push the issue. Thank god Naruto was an anomaly when it came to shinobi who didn't know when to let things die.

The ANBU squad left with no explanation. Kisame barely noticed. "Hey Itachi-san, are we going to help out the Leaf-nin or what?"

"Why should we?"

"Because we have an impending alliance with Konoha."

Itachi frowned. Not really caring either way, Kisame shrugged and turned back to his sword. He was seriously considering streamlining the thing. Or inventing a sword-cleaning jutsu. Wiping down every ridge was extremely time-consuming, and inevitably got his hands nicked up.

"Very well."

The two Konoha ninja looked surprised. Kisame wasn't, but that was only because he had learned years ago that expecting things from Itachi was the surest route to being proven wrong. So he just slid the Samehada (not completely clean, but there wasn't a point, now that it was just going to get dirty again so soon) back into its sheath.

"So, Leaf-nin, any idea where we can do the most damage?" He wiped a trail of blood off his cheek; the scab had opened up again. Asuma nodded. The Konoha jounin's lack of apprehension regarding working with a former enemy would have been surprising to one not in the shinobi occupation, but alliances shifted far too quickly among the hidden villages for him not to take such a thing in stride. Though his wound hadn't healed either, four years was a long time. And it was an even enough exchange. Both of them weren't particularly given to revenge plots.

"Our main hospital is going to be one of the points of the invasion. We'll show you the way."

-

Apparently Gaara had eaten his fill at the pastry shop. That or he had grown to dislike miso ramen in the last two years, though that seemed unlikely, as even four years supposedly dead, Naruto's reputation when it came to that specific type of noodles was notorious, and their little brother was partners with the blonde, after all. Either way, he seemed content to sit down and sip a quintuple shot cappuccino (Gaara wasn't the only one in the family with a coffee fetish) and watch his brother and sister make their way through lunch. This would have unnerved most people, but Kankuro and Temari were used to far more hostile stares from their baby brother. The speculative, almost peaceful look he had now wasn't even distracting.

It was likely the most tranquil meal the three siblings had ever shared together, so of course it had to be interrupted. However, unlike Naruto, who had things thrown at him, Sakura, who had been attacked in the shower, or Kisame, who had a wall fall on him, the three Sand-nins didn't have the attack thrust upon them in any particularly surprising or unpleasant way. Just looking out the window at the rather nice view of the village gave them a pretty good idea of what was going on, especially so as Kankuro's favorite wood-carving shop two blocks over collapsed with a rather large bang.

Temari gave a somewhat irritated sigh. "We're being attacked again, aren't we."

"Mmhm."

"Third time this year."

"This one looks to be a full-out invasion, though. I don't think the Cloud or Mist have ever gotten as far as our block before."

"They haven't. Alright, then," she pushed herself to her feet. "We'd better get moving."

"We're assigned to guard the academy, right?"

"Yes." The fan-wielder turned to her youngest brother, indecision for the first time registering on her face. "You want to come, Gaara?"

The red-haired young man weighed his options. Under battle circumstances, his first instinct was to find Naruto and work from there, but he didn't really know where his partner was. And if the treaty didn't come through. . . this could be the one chance he had to fight with his siblings again. It had taken extensive therapy (Reiko-sama had insisted he be as stable as possible before she would employ him) for him to realize that he did in fact care for his brother and sister, more than he cared about anyone, really, except maybe Naruto. He would be working again with his partner in due course. He wouldn't pass up this opportunity to seek out someone he might not even find until the invasion was over.

"Alright."

-

It was almost immediately outside Kankuro and Temari's apartment that they encountered him. A Leaf-nin. A vaguely familiar one, though who it was didn't register until Temari's face softened (a sight unprecedented in Gaara's memory) and she shook her head with good-natured exasperation.

"Shikamaru. You really shouldn't be here, you know."

"Kch." The Leaf-nin pushed himself off from his position leaning rather languidly against the building's wall. The sight of a ninja missing one arm was somewhat atypical. Most shinobi who had received such severe injuries retired from the profession, but this one was still attired with a chuunin vest, visible under the long black coat that gave him the appearance of some grisly specter of death, scars and all. His lean frame and unusual height reinforced the image. "So, the three of you made up then?"

"We were never at odds to begin with."

The Leaf-nin shrugged with apparent disinterest. "The Cloud are mostly focusing on the tower. The Mist have finished off most of the border guards. I'd suggest the Mist. You won't have to restrain yourself as much, and the woods are more concentrated around the wall. Better cover and all that."

"The academy-"

"Has already evacuated to the ruins. They're safe. You're needed elsewhere."

"Thanks."

Temari and Kankuro went on. Gaara stayed. "Are you going to fight with us?"

"Of course not. I'm only a hindrance in battle situations now." The Leaf-nin's voice should have been bitter. Somehow the purely factual and somewhat bored tone was worse.

Gaara nodded, his vague unease not showing on his face. He turned and left to catch up with his siblings. Shikamaru closed his eyes, and faded again back into the shadows.

"He was the one who defeated you at the chuunin exam, wasn't he Temari? What was he doing here?"

"Shikamaru doesn't really fight anymore, but he gives some useful information to us on occasion."

"What kind of shinobi doesn't fight?"

"The kind who leads the Hokage's personal espionage team and only has one arm."

"Kankuro. . ."

"So he is. . . a friend?"

"Let's just say he's a lot less wary of us than about ninety-nine percent of this village's population."

"In girl-speak, that means they're fucking like bunnies."

"Kankuro!"

"What, am I wrong? You sure were sending that impression when I caught you two naked in bed a month ago."

"Kankuro, if you don't shut up I swear I'll-"

"This Shikamaru. . . he is your mate?"

"Ummm. . ." Both elder sand-nins froze, and frantically tried to remember if anyone had ever given Gaara the 'birds and the bees' lecture, because this was _not _the time to be explaining such things. And who wanted to explain sex to their baby brother anyway?

"Well. . ."

"He makes you happy?"

". . . yes." With a start, Temari realized it was true. "Yes, he does make me happy."

"Then I am happy for you."

Temari's eyes went wide. Kankuro's mouth dropped open. Gaara _noticing_? Gaara_ caring_? What had the Akatsuki _done _to their little brother?

"Since I am your brother, I am told that I am supposed to protect you. If this Shikamaru makes you cry, it is now my brotherly obligation to kill him." Gaara's eyes were empty of humanity. "Be sure he does not make you cry."

-

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Fighting with one's clones was nothing like fighting with a partner. Even though Naruto sometimes felt like he was reading Gaara's mind, with his bunshin, he was really just fighting with an extension of himself. Through trial and error, Naruto had figured out a rather glaring flaw in his previous bunshin fighting strategy; hundreds of clones looked impressive, but no way in hell could he actually control them all with any degree of skill. Any more then ten, and he had to put them on auto-pilot, reducing his bunshin to little better than cannon fodder, making them far too easy to kill off. A needless waste of chakra.

One other thing he had learned; his Uzumaki Combo worked a _lot _better when the bottom of his sandals were spiked.

He and Sakon had quickly worked out a way to use the beginning of his Rendan to their advantage. All Naruto needed to do was kick their opponents into the air, and Sakon would stick them with some well-aimed kunai while they were off balance. No chakra expanded at all.

Unfortunately, this strategy only worked well when they were facing three or four shinobi at a time. At first, it wasn't a problem. They tended to come upon individual units of Cloud-nin (though oddly, they hadn't run into any Mist ninja yet), and easily dealt with the enemy shinobi before they usually even noticed they were being attacked. It was when the Cloud-nins as a whole began to notice that they ran into a rather significant obstacle, and the invaders were too well coordinated for them to remain oblivious for long.

They were currently hidden behind the remains of a nursery, deserted and lifeless, the children and teachers having evacuated at the first sign of danger. Sakon hissed quietly as he yanked out of his shoulder the one kunai that had managed to get through their defenses.

"I really hate being outnumbered so badly."

Naruto didn't answer. It was difficult, concentrating on moving ten different bunshin around at once, running in different directions to lead the Cloud-nin off their trail. About ten minutes later, all the bunshin had dissipated and left their pursuers completely confused. And he could finally relax, just a little.

"Damn it, all that chakra. . . hey Sakon, any chance you have some jutsu that can take out a ton ofpeople at once?"

Sakon shook his head.

Naruto swore under his breath. "Well, I don't either."

"I thought you were possessed by the nine-tails."

"How did you. . . never mind. It seems like everyone knows these days. And so what if I am?"

"I am not well-informed about the powers of demons, but shouldn't you be able to release the power in some way?"

"Yeah, well, he increases my chakra, but if power boosts were really so effective, why don't you activate that curse seal of yours?"

"It sucks my soul away until I'm mostly a vegetable. What's your excuse?"

"Every time I call upon the Kyuubi, he gains a little more dominance. If I do it too much, he gains complete control and my mind snaps. I also get really awful migraines when he's in a bad mood, and I pissed him off earlier today."

"So we are at an impasse."

"Well, I guess we could keep on doing what we were before, but it won't-"

The sudden shower of kunai and lightning jutsus raining down upon them made the words die in his mouth, and as he watched the impervious wall of death come towards them, for the first time in years, Naruto froze. Normally under such circumstances Gaara would put up a shield of sand and it wouldn't be a problem, but Gaara wasn't there. It was just a fortunate stroke of luck that the Sound elite were well known for their defensive jutsus.

In a flurry of hand seals, Sakon shouted something drowned out by the crackle of electricity in the air, and slammed his hands onto the cobbled street. The barrier that closed up around them was quickly buried by the wave of kunai, but it remained uncracked and impenetrable. Inside, Naruto was trying not to hyperventilate.

"Where the. . . where the hell did they come from?"

"I have no idea. But they won't be able to break through this. I dumped enough chakra into it to block anyone except a Kage."

"That's good. . . but how are we gonna get out?"

Sakon smirked. The Sound-nin planted one hand on the ground and closed his eyes. A moment later, the dirt shifted underneath their feet, and a small hole opened up, just large enough for two rather small shinobi to slip through. Sakon dropped into the opening.

"What are you waiting for?"

"Where'd you learn that?"

"One of my teammates specializes in earth jutsus. I picked some things up."

It wasn't as dramatic an explanation as Naruto would have liked (the more interesting techniques always seemed to have the most dull origins), but he supposed it would do. He followed Sakon, and the fissure closed up behind him.

"Akatsuki, a plan now would be good."

Naruto ignored the moniker. From anyone else, it would have sounded mocking, but Sakon just didn't seem to want the familiarity brought on by calling him by name. "Where does this come out?"

"About one-hundred yards to the east, hopefully under a cluster of buildings I saw earlier."

"Well right now, _I'm_ not good for much. But the Lady Hokage has something that will make this a whole lot easier. Want to help me go get it?"

"I'm listening."

-

Shizune was starting to become frustrated. If she had been the type to self-analyze, she would have known it was a façade to cover up the impending panic brought on by a fear of failure, but just then, Shizune was happy to stick with frustrated. They couldn't find Uzumaki Naruto. They couldn't even find someone who had seen Uzumaki Naruto. What they found was an increasingly larger trail of Cloud-nin corpses and the end of Shizune's patience, neither of which contributed to a successful conclusion of their mission.

"So, you found exactly nothing."

The ANBU swallowed. "Yes, sir."

Shizune tried to practice her breathing exercises. They did nothing to help to calm her down.

"Well then, tell me exactly what good you are."

"Um. . ."

Something flashed out of the corner of Shizune's eyes. "Never mind, don't answer that." The flash she had witnessed stopped moving just in time for her to recognize it as Uchiha Sasuke.

"Hey, Uchiha!"

The young jounin turned. His slowly turning pinwheel eyes and bloody kunai in hand would have been unnerving, but Shizune had been Tsunade's apprentice and then assistant for years. Nothing intimidated her anymore. The lack of a hitai-ate headband was curious, but he had probably lost it somewhere.

"What do you want?"

"Seen any Akatsuki around?"

"What's it to you?"

Damn the kid was rude. "We're trying to track one of them. Blonde, blue-eyed, kind of short."

"The only Akatsuki of any interest to me is Itachi. If you want to find one of the others, do it yourself."

And then he turned and left.

((What a little snot!)) Shizune was tempted to follow the brat and beat the crap out of him, but she had a mission to accomplish. Besides, she wasn't so sure she could beat the Uchiha anyway. The stories she had heard about him recently made her skin crawl.

"Okay, squad four, split into pairs and explore the east district. Squad thirteen, come with me. We're going back to the tower. Remember, this is an Akatsuki we're dealing with, people. If you catch sight of him, do not engage, just report directly back to me. Now move out!"

-

"So. . . what do you think our options are?"

"Like the fuck I'd know. Jiroubou's the only one with earth-based jutsu I've ever fought, and his level of ninjutsu isn't this high."

Kidoumaru sighed. He hadn't actually expected Tayuya to be helpful, but she _was_ the second-best strategist of the Five, and this situation definitely called for strategy, or at least some decent ideas. True, normally he was the superior tactician, but he also had a migraine and a serious case of tunnel-vision.

Tayuya was out of kunai. She didn't carry many to begin with, and had used her last one at Kidoumaru's request. Normally, that wouldn't have been a problem, as Kidoumaru could create hundreds of weapons on demand. Unfortunately, he already had, and produced an inordinate amount of webbing to boot, bringing him dangerously close to his quota. Just the act of pulling four more throwing kunai out of his mouth made it necessary to grip a tree branch and wait for his equilibrium to come back. The trees weaved drunkedly before his eyes.

He judged the distance to the village ramparts (rather too far from the forest to be easy to get to), and threw the kunai one at a time, each a little closer to the wall's base. The third stuck in the ground. Kidoumaru sighed in relief.

"Tayuya, the sinking stops about one-hundred yards beyond the trees."

"How does that help us, exactly?"

"Just don't let me fall."

"Kidoumaru, what in hell are you talking abo-"

The mechanics of weaving a rectangular web were much more complicated than the usual circular shape. One did not find such a design in nature.

((Tayuya better apologize for making fun of my knitting after this is over.)) Spitting a rather large gob of webbing into his hands, he worked as quickly as possible, attaching one end to the tree they were perched on (the tallest in the immediate vicinity) and sending the rest in a tight weave at the spot where the third kunai was buried. His vision blurred.

"What the hell is that?"

"The Bridge."

"You mean that stupid Cats' Cradle game you played when we were kids? I can't believe you still remember that crap."

There was no response.

"Kidoumaru?"

She turned just in time to see her teammate's eyes roll back in his head and watch his hands lose their grip. The flutist barely managed to grab a hold of his shirt before Kidoumaru fell off his perch and into the now quicksand-like ground below. The tree continued to sink. Cursing vehemently, Tayuya threw the dark-skinned shinobi over one shoulder and jumped onto the impromptu web bridge.

"Fucking six-armed freak, fainting like a little girl. . . when he wakes up I swear I'll. . ."

-

Kidoumaru woke up to being slapped in the face.

"Mmm. . ?"

He was slapped again.

"Damn it, Tayuya, stop hitting me! I'm awake already!"

"Good of you to join us."

That wasn't Tayuya. It wasn't Kimimaro either, who the only one of his comrades besides Tayuya who would a) slap him, and b) be sarcastic about it.

Kidoumaru opened his eyes. For a moment, everything clouded together in a haze of shapes and colors before separating into more identifiable objects. When he realized where he was and who had spoken, he wished he had never regained consciousness, because a coma was sounding pretty good just then.

Smiling down at him rather pleasantly was a light-skinned face with dark-red hair. The features looked vaguely familiar, but though Kidoumaru didn't actually recognize the man, he knew instantly who he was. Grotesquely obese, even more so than Jiroubou, but he also carried his weight similarly, like a well-trained fighter. An aura that would have made Kidoumaru go cold if he hadn't been serving Orochimaru, the emperor of murderous intentions, for more than half his life. However, it was the hat that really tipped him off. Only one of the Kages could wear such a stupid-looking thing and not look ridiculous in it. The Tsuchikage.

He tried to reach for his mouth, doubting he could actually form a weapon but was willing to try for it anyway. It took a few tugs for his water-deprived brain to grasp the fact that his arms were tied back rather tightly (and uncomfortably) behind him.

"So, you're Orochimaru's precious bodyguards? I must say, I'm not impressed."

"Yeah, well, the feelings mutual, fat ass."

Kidoumaru turned his head. Next to him was Tayuya, bound as he was and looking murderous.

"_Tayuya_!"

She glared at him.

"They took my flute, alright?"

". . .oh."

The Tsuchikage was frowning. "You are in no position to be insulting, girl."

"Like the fuck I'd listen to a tub of lard like you."

Slowly, but with deceptive strength, the Tsuchikage backhanded Tayuya across the face. Her head was whipped to the side, her eyes wide. A trickle of blood ran down from her mouth where the man's ring had struck.

Kidoumaru had never been particularly protective of Tayuya. She had never really seemed like a girl, like a lady. Just one of the Five, albeit the most crude and insulting of them. She wasn't the type of person who really seemed to need protecting. But they had been together since childhood, and Kidoumaru was belatedly remembering that he was actually older than her (sure, it was only by two months, but still). He was widely regarded as the most easygoing of the Orochimaru's elite guard, the least prone to anger. The destruction of his room by the Stone had pissed him off. Watching Tayuya get hit by some jackass when she couldn't hit back made his vision go red.

The Tsuchikage was smiling, obviously pleased with himself that he had shut up the mouthy little prisoner. He didn't notice the growing chakra less than five feet from him until said chakra yanked free from its bonds and proceeded to hit him as hard in the face as possible.

Of course, the Tsuchikage wasn't the Tsuchikage for nothing. After getting over his initial surprise, it didn't take him long to simply haul back and slam his assailant into the nearby wall hard enough to make the stone crack, and something in two of the Sound-nin's arms made the same sound upon impact. The resulting concussion broke Kidoumaru out of the red haze surrounding him and back to reality, where he realized (somewhat too late) that he really didn't have the chakra necessary to sustain the Level Two Curse Seal. The five-second burst of power had tapped him of the last of his energy. He fell to his hands and knees, and couldn't hold back the coughs that brought up blood.

The Tsuchikage's presence loomed over him. It was with a casual nonchalance that the obese shinobi picked him up by the throat and tossed him towards the crowd of Stone-nin. Kidoumaru skidded several yards before coming to rest at Tayuya's feet.

"You know, Kidoumaru, you really are a chauvinistic imbecile. If I ever need you to defend my honor, it'll be when I dead, not when I'm still around to do my own dirty work."

Kidoumaru grinned tiredly. His vision was swimming again, though it was probably due more to the concussion than the dehydration this time around. "Always nice to feel wanted."

Two Stone-nin pulled him to his knees and again tied his arms behind his back, making everything go black momentarily as his two (most likely broken) arms were yanked roughly behind him The difference this time was that the chains thrummed with such energy that Kidoumaru was relatively sure they were imbued with chakra.

The Tsuchikage walked over, and peered into Kidoumaru's face, his own looking vaguely contemplative. Kidoumaru felt stupidly pleased that he had at least managed to give the guy a bloody nose, as small a victory as it was.

"You are interesting, leaping to the girl's defense like that. And you actually managed to hit me. Impressive."

"If you want impressive, just wait until Kimimaro shows up. If you're weak enough to let me hit you, he's going to wipe the floor with you." Either Tayuya was rubbing off on him or the concussion had severely impaired his judgment, because insulting the guy who decided his fate was the surest route to getting the crap beaten out of him. Well, at least the crap getting beat out of him _more_.

The Tsuchikage appeared unbothered. "Capturing the two of you was an easy enough task. Getting the other three shouldn't be too difficult, and with Orochimaru missing, it will only be a matter of hours before we have destroyed this pathetic little village."

The obese ninja made a gesture, and most of the Stone-nin in the area (Kidoumaru finally realized that they were actually not too far from where his third kunai had been stuck) disappeared. The Tsuchikage himself took two of his subordinates and walked over to a makeshift table where a map was posted, most likely to discuss their strategy, leaving some half a dozen jounin to stand guard over the two Sound-nin.

"Tayuya. . . we're going to die here, aren't we?"

"Kidoumaru, don't be so fucking morbid."

"I just want to tell you something, before it happens."

"It can wait until we get out of here."

"No, it can't! Kimimaro and Jiroubou might still be around, but there's no way they can take on this massive army. And I should have told you this a long time ago."

"Listen, will you just shut up? I'm trying to think of an escape plan and you're not helping."

"You remember ten years ago, Tayuya? You're flute was broken and you blamed Sakon. I was the one who really broke it. I stepped on it in the hall and was afraid to tell you after you gave Sakon internal damage."

"This isn't the time for you to get. . . wait a second. _You're _the one who broke my flute? That was my favorite flute, you jackass!"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't good enough! I saved up for months to have that thing be custom-made, and you _broke _it less than a week later."

"I said I was sorry, alright!"

"Fuck your apology, you six-armed freak! When I get my hands on you I'm going to break every bone in your-" The flutist was cut off by screaming. A lot of screaming. The two Sound-nin shot each other confused looks, their argument momentarily forgotten. What the hell. . .

A Stone chuunin streaked past them, his face white with terror. He collapsed at the Tsuchikage's feet.

"Tsuchikage-sama, we have to retreat immediately!"

The look the Tsuchikage gave the chuunin was contemptuous. "What kind of coward are you? We're winning this war."

"You don't understand, Tsuchikage-sama. Orochimaru, he's here! He's. . ." Whatever the chuunin was going to say next went with him to the grave as a gigantic serpent slithered out of the forest and snapped up the Stone-nin with one strike. Three others followed, their yellow eyes glowing with barely restrained malevolence. Upon the biggest was Orochimaru, his eyes narrowed almost to slits. His aura fluctuated with such dark intentions that the very air appeared to drop in temperature, and Kidoumaru felt himself go cold. Despite all this, he couldn't restrain a grin of pure relief as the screams of the dying began to fill the air.


	17. Speeding Up & Slowing Down

Author's Note: My excuse is writer's block and that I had other things to work on. This is not my sole project (especially seeing as I still have "Spring" of my Season's Greetings quartet to finish), and life goes on, unfortunately. There are only so many hours in the day and most of them are already taken up. However, I found the reviews extremely encouraging. There is nothing better than getting a bunch of Orochimaru-haters to cheer for him, and to wring a sweet moment out of Gaara without taking him completely out of character. As requested last chapter, there is a little more Naruto here, but unfortunately I have four/five different scenarios running at once, all equally important, and he's only the focus of one of them. Naruto is still the main character, but this isn't a character story. The plot is dictated by necessity (and whim), and everything has to tie together neatly, which requires me to focus on all the major characters equally. I can promise you this: the story will be finished before summer begins, and I will not cut it short to accomplish this goal. This chapter is unbeta-ed, and even though I looked it over, critique would be appreciated.

Sailor Comet: What other Naruto author are you referring to? I love Kidoumaru and any recommendations would be appreciated.

Peter Kim: Let's just say Orochimaru's priorities have shifted around a little since I deviated from the canon.

SWITCH

"Damn it, that stings!"

"Good. That means it's working."

Kidoumaru bared his teeth in a grimace, but he lowered himself back onto his elbows without anymore complaint. An impromptu hospital had been set up after the Stone-nins had been sent packing, with Kabuto (who wasn't technically a Sound-nin anymore, but he had arrived with Orochimaru-sama and everyone was too used to him to protest anyway, besides the fact that he had trained almost every medic in the village) was supervising and looking over the more serious cases. Kidoumaru wasn't a serious case per se, but all the shinobi in critical condition had been seen to or were already dead, and Kidoumaru's physiology was bizarre enough that no one else was really qualified to make sure his two broken arms were set correctly.

The stinging, of course, wasn't from his arms being wrenched back into place. That event had been so agonizingly painful that Kidoumaru had fainted during a rather delicate part of the operation involving Kabuto pulling a shard of bone out through the skin of the sound elite's forearm. The pain could have been avoided entirely if it weren't for the fact that Kabuto refused to administer painkillers to a patient who had recently suffered a concussion. Having Kabuto put him under was out of the question entirely. Considering everything, Kidoumaru would have preferred the coma.

The severe, life-threatening dehydration had required an intravenous IV inserted by a very young nurse made very nervous by the near and threatening presence of Tayuya. A rather bad concussion needed a twenty-four hour watch until his pupils started to dilate properly, which was why Tayuya was there to begin with, as she was too chakra-drained to be of any assistance elsewhere. A partially crushed windpipe required a tube be inserted down his throat to help him breath for three extremely uncomfortable hours until someone with some chakra-healing experience was freed up from the critical care section. Chakra exhaustion that would have put him out of commission for days even without the injuries. The arms had already been seen to.

It was from his back that the aforementioned stinging originated from. Skidding several dozen feet on rather rocky ground had shredded everything from the shoulders down. After Kabuto had picked all of the rocks embedded in his back, the medic-nin had proceeded to swab a very strong antiseptic over the mutilated skin. Hence the stinging.

"You really are quite lucky, you know."

((Tayuya bloodies a lip, Jiroubou gets a black eye, Kimimaro loses a lock of hair to a stray kunai, and I'm stuck in bed for a month at the least with a needle stuck in my arm and not even any drugs to show for it. Everyone else was lucky. I got screwed.))

This was what Kidoumaru wanted to say. However, he wasn't Tayuya, and therefore had a filter between his mouth and his brain. Kabuto wasn't trying to piss him off, and the guy could kick his ass on a good day. This was most definitely not a good day. So what he said instead was, "How so?"

"Your arm bones snapped quite cleanly. Considering the force of impact, at least one of them should have shattered completely, and then you would have been permanently crippled."

((I have six arms, genius. Losing one isn't exactly going to take me out.)) Except. . . it _would_ slow him down rather a lot, if only because it actually required six arms to do a number of his jutsus. Kidoumaru knew he didn't manipulate chakra in the usual way. He had never tried to learn the standard techniques, if only because there was usually a way to do the same things with own bloodline limit that was faster and worked just as well. Having to learn an entirely new way to channel chakra past puberty didn't sound like such a great idea.

"That's. . . good to know, I guess."

Kabuto nodded distractedly, ruffling through his bag briefly before pulling out a small flashlight and shining it into one of Kidoumaru's eyes, then the other.

"Your pupils still aren't contracting. Tayuya, would you. . ."

"Whatever. Not like I've got anything better to do."

Kabuto smiled slightly, picked up his equipment and left. For a moment, the only sound in the room was the rhythmic beeping of the heartbeat monitor.

"So. . . how about some checkers?"

"Board games? Are you kidding?"

"Well, you could always grab me a book-"

"Ha!"

There was a moment of silence

"We could always talk about our feelings instead."

"What? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Kabuto said something about brain damage, but that's beside the point. Tayuya, when the Tsuchikage hit you back there, I finally realized how deeply I cared about-"

"I'll go get the checkers."

"But Tayuya, I really think you should know-"

"I'll play the stupid board game with you! Just shut the fuck up already!"

Kidoumaru had to hide a small smirk as his teammate practically ran out of the room in her hurry to forestall what she obviously believed were the ravings of a man suffering a serious case of delirium. There was a very good reason he was considered the superior strategist. Tayuya couldn't tell a bluff from the real thing if it bit her on the ass.

SWITCH

"He will make a full recovery."

"Surprising."

Kabuto nodded. "Considering the unusual nature of his nervous system, I rather expected his chakra to be cut off to the broken arms at least, but it looks like his energy network is less delicate than I thought after first examining him."

A slight pause.

"You recognized the Tsuchikage, didn't you, Orochimaru-sama."

Orochimaru shook his head. "My hesitation was due to the fact that I felt like I knew him than any true familiarity." The sannin gave the medic-nin a considering look. "If anything, you should have noticed the resemblance before I did, Kabuto."

The younger man raised one eyebrow. "Resemblance? To whom?"

Orochimaru smiled slightly. "It appears your observation skills have atrophied since you left your position as a spy. Reiko made no secret of the fact that her younger brother still held a position in Hidden Stone Village. I must admit, it caught me by surprise to see him in a position of such power, but it appears that Reiko's unusual chakra strength is just a part of the Hirayama line instead of an anomaly as I originally supposed."

Kabuto's eyes widened. "Reiko-sama's younger brother?"

"Hirayama Mamoru is not quite as talented as his elder sister, but the Stone has always been one of the more male-dominated shinobi societies. Most likely he inherited the leadership of the Hirayama Clan instead of Reiko, making only him eligible to assume the Tsuchikage mantle under the provisions of the Iwa ninja codes. Hardly unthinkable that such a powerful and ambitious female would leave the Stone at the soonest opportunity."

Kabuto nodded thoughtfully. "So you let him go as an appeasement to Reiko-sama."

"Not particularly. Reiko is very practical, and considering the circumstances I doubt she would fault me for the death of her younger brother. However, the Stone nurtures its advanced bloodlines almost as much as the Leaf. By their numbers alone they have an advantage, and Hirayama Mamoru is not as weak as the Kazekage. Starting such a high level battle right next to Sound Village would finish the job that the Stone began and would be of no benefit to me. If they attack again, it will not be so bloodless, but until then, my priority is to rebuild Otokagure and fortify its defenses."

"A barrier seal?"

"Most likely."

"That reminds me. . . Orochimaru-sama, I know I haven't been back here in over three years, but you seem to be missing one of your bodyguards."

"Sakon has an assignment outside of the Sound territory."

This would have been the point in most conversations where Kabuto asked what assignment Orochimaru was speaking of, but personal relationship with the dark-haired sannin aside, Kabuto was no longer privy to such information. He was assisting the Sound on his own time, but he still answered to the Akatsuki Council, and some chances were too foolish to even consider. One did not reveal classified information to a wary ally, and right now, they were speaking to each other on professional terms. So Kabuto didn't even bother. Inquiring would be both an insult and a waste of their time. He moved on to a more relevant topic.

"Won't that make it difficult to erect a four-point barrier?"

"Kimimaro lacks expertise with shielding techniques, but he can be brought up to speed in time to take the west gate." A smirk. "Besides, the Four are just required to channel the energy, not supply it."

"That puts the Sound in a defensive position."

"A barrier is only a temporary measure. I will think of a more permanent one soon enough."

The arrival of a young chuunin with an updated list of the damages incurred soon occupied Orochimaru's attention, and so Kabuto quietly excused himself. He had some responsibilities of his own to deal with.

SWITCH

"A sword."

"What's wrong with that?"

"It strikes me as somewhat foolish to invade the personal stronghold of the Fire Shadow to retrieve something so ridiculously mundane."

"What did you think we were going to get?"

"I don't know. A scroll of some sort. Something that could actually kill more than one person at a time."

"It's a really good sword."

"It would be far easier to steal such a weapon from the corpse of a Mist or Cloud shinobi."

Naruto thought for a moment. "Look, have you ever heard of the Raijin?"

"No."

"It used to belong to the Second Hokage. The blade is lightning and it channels chakra."

"If they had this weapon, don't you think they would be using it already?"

"They have it."

"And you know this. . . why?"

"I know because I gave it to the Lady Hokage this morning." Sakon gave the blonde Akatsuki an incredulous look. Naruto blinked in bewilderment. "What?"

"You _gave_ it to Tsunade?"

"Um. . . yeah."

"_Why_?"

"What with the treaty and all, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"If you gave it to the Leaf's Hokage, shouldn't a Leaf shinobi be the one using it?"

"Konoha shinobi seem to like to think of the Lightning Blade as some sort of relic, not as something actually useful in battle. Likely as not they've got it locked up somewhere. Besides that, I used it as my sole weapon for over a year. I'm a lot better with it then any Leaf-nin."

Sakon snorted. "Like it matters how good you are. They'll never let you in there. Considering the current security, infiltration would be suicide, and a full-on assault would kill any chance of Hirayama making nice with this village."

"We should at least get a little closer to the tower. Maybe something will turn up."

"Like what?"

"Hey! Akatsuki!"

Naruto and Sakon turned in unison to witness the arrival of an ANBU squad led by a dark-haired woman clad in a chuunin jacket. Sakon's eyes narrowed, and he moved his hand to grip one of the kunai holstered in the small of his back.

The Konoha ninja stopped about ten feet from their position. Except for their leader, their faces were all covered with the trademark painted animal masks, but their collective body posture made it obvious they were focusing entirely on Naruto and ignoring Sakon completely.

The woman spoke again, sounding slightly uncertain. "Hey, where's the coat?"

"Took it off." Naruto grinned. "It's a little hot to be wearing all black. I was broiling."

A small pause.

"Did you realize you were breaking truce regulations when you abandoned your ANBU guard?"

"I knew. They were kind of getting on my nerves. They stuck so close to me that I felt like I was being stalked. Started to creep me out a little. Sorry if it caused you any trouble when I ditched them."

"Sorry kid, but you did cause Tsunade-sama quite a bit of worry. You have to come with us. She wants to have a quick talk with you."

"You sure? I mean, you are being invaded and all. Don't you have higher priorities than playing escort?"

The Leaf jounin shrugged. "The order was given before the invasion, but it still stands. It probably won't take long. Besides, you were heading in the direction of the Hokage's tower anyway."

Naruto felt a grin spread over his face. He shot a smirk at Sakon, but it faltered when he witnessed all the blood drain out of the Sound-nin's face.

"Sakon? Hey Sakon, something wrong?"

There was no response. Naruto started to become worried.

"Sakon, come on, talk to me." He reached over to shake the Sound-nin's shoulder, but Sakon's hand snaked out and snatched Naruto's out of the air, his eyes turned towards something beyond the ANBU squad.

"Akatsuki." The slight shinobi's voice was quiet. "Go with them. There is something I need to do."

You just didn't argue with that tone of voice, even if you didn't like being ordered around all that much, so Naruto just nodded. "Alright then. I'll meet up with you later."

Sakon nodded, but his left hand tightened minutely around the kunai grasped in his palm.

"Hey, something wrong?"

Naruto shook his head at the Konoha jounin's query. "No. He just won't be coming with us." He turned towards the Hokage's tower. "What are you guys waiting for? Let's go already!"

One or two inquiring looks were shot in Sakon's direction, but the ANBU were nothing if not disciplined, and they had to complete their assignment, even at the cost of letting an unidentified shinobi wander unimpeded through Konoha. They followed their leader, leaving Sakon to bolt off towards his own unknown destination.

SWITCH

"You want to _want_?"

"I want to borrow the Raijin." Suddenly aware he was in fact dealing with the ruler of a powerful country, Naruto remembered (rather too late for polite company) to add on a, "Please." The pleasantry went ignored. So much for manners.

"Mind telling me why you want it back less than six hours after you gave it to me?"

"I'll return it to you. I'm just a better fighter with a sword, and I haven't gotten a chance to get a new one."

A rather haughty-looking man, by the look of his robes a councilor (though he looked a few decades young for the position, as he did not appear to be ten years in the grave) snorted contemptuously. "Do you really think we'll allow one of our country's priceless treasures to be used like a common kunai by the likes of you?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed, glinting the slightest shade of red in the lamplight. " 'Likes of you?' Planning on telling me what you mean by that?"

For a few moments, the very air seemed to bristle, before Tsunade's voice sliced through the tension with her usual abruptness. "Give it to him."

"Hokage-sama!"

"I'm tired of you people arguing with me. No one else is using it, and if he's fighting on our side there is no reason why he shouldn't be lent the Lightning Blade for a few hours. He is the only living person to have used it since the death of the Second Hokage, seeing as Rokusho Aoi is dead, and no one else really knows how it works." No one moved. "Stop hesitating and go get the damn sword!"

Naruto managed a weak grin as a mad scramble went up with everyone trying at once to find out where the Raijin had been stored. He wasn't unfamiliar with strong-willed women. A number of them were scattered among the Akatsuki, elite included, but none of them possessed the unrelenting fire of the Godaime. He had only met with her twice and both times her force of personality had astounded him with its intensity. It was rather overwhelming. "Guess it's hard to find good help these days."

The Lady Hokage snorted. "The help wasn't any better thirty years ago then it is today. Humanity doesn't change. Bureaucracy changes even less. Everyone's still deaf and I still have to repeat myself."

A breathless young woman barely into her teens burst into the office holding a wrapped package. "Found it!"

Naruto stepped forward eagerly. The sword hadn't even been out of his hands half a day and he already missed it, bad memories and all. Even so, his excitement didn't make him blind to the girl flinching back when his right hand wrapped around the covered hilt, momentarily brushing the palms of her hands. It was true that people never really changed, and unfortunately people as a rule weren't that great.

The girl's reaction having somewhat lessened his levity, Naruto slowly pulled away the cloth, and there it was. The Lightning Blade. Someone had shined the hilt, making it glow faintly under the fluorescent lights. The minute nicks acquired after years of usage had been smoothed away. Overall, it looked more like the legendary weapon that it was and less like the carved piece of wood Naruto had mistaken it for a year ago. For a moment, it was all Naruto could do to admire the graceful craftsmanship of the ornately decorated hilt.

"Akatsuki, I gave you back the sword so you could use it, not stare at it like an imbecile."

"Fine! Damn it, you Leaf-nins are all so fucking impatient it could drive a guy absolutely nuts." So he was being rude. Who cared. It wasn't like Kisame was around to yell at him about it.

SWITCH

One of the ANBU that had brought him to the Hokage's tower escorted him to the door. Naruto paused at the entrance.

"Hey, thanks."

The ANBU nodded, the stylized bird's mask hiding whatever he might have been feeling. But Naruto had been trained by some of the best shinobi in the world. Social cues were still mostly beyond him, but if there was one thing he could read, it was chakra signatures.

"Remind me the next time we run into each other to take you out for a drink, Neji. You're too tense." Naruto shot the ANBU a grin before dashing out the door, his distinctive yellow hair quickly disappearing around a corner. Under his mask, Neji frowned, before closing the gate and walking back down the hall.

SWITCH

"This is your hospital?"

Asuma dropped his cigarette on the pavement and ground it out with the heel of his sandal, his face set in a disapproving frown. "It used to be."

If it had in fact once been a hospital, Kisame was hard put to tell. The building had collapsed in a landslide of mortar and tile, with not even a metal framework to show its original shape. Body parts of people caught in the collapse stuck haphazardly out of the rubble. The ground was coated with as much dried blood as anything. A place for the dead, instead of the dying.

Kurenai was already moving around, investigating the situation. She was answered guardedly, with occasional, furtive glances in the Akatsuki's direction. Two-thirds of the patients had been evacuated. Yes, most of the delicate equipment was in the underground areas and had escaped the devastation. No, they didn't know if anyone else had survived. They were searching, but hadn't found anyone yet.

"No one lived through the collapse of the west wing of the building. There are three survivors forty yards to your left and another two fifteen yards beyond that. Everyone else in this building is dead."

The chuunin reporting to Kurenai turned an angry look towards Itachi, fear momentarily forgotten. "How the hell could you know that?"

The Uchiha prodigy met the young man's gaze, his pinwheel eyes turning in slow, never-ceasing cycles of darkness and blood. "I know."

No one questioned after that. Despite the chuunin's seeming stupidity, the recovery team was well trained and well organized. They moved quickly to haul the rubble out of the way, and had healers on stand-by to tend to the survivors. Kurenai shouted orders and Asuma slowly but surely made his way through a package of cigarettes. Kisame and Itachi just stood there. They were both adept enough at recovery operations, but neither of them were particularly suited for it. The Akatsuki active as a rule were fighters, exceptional ones by necessity, and having their assistance disregarded so blatantly seemed rather wasteful.

"Mind telling me what we are doing here, Asuma-san?"

The jounin ground another cigarette slowly into the dirt, his fingers already working to light the next. "Guard duty."

"Guard duty."

"Cloud-nins like to kill the injured first. Usual tactics. We're going to stop them if they show up."

"Ah."

Considering they were just trying to earn the Konoha shinobi's good will, Kisame really didn't care what they were doing, but all the same, he was rather thankful Naruto wasn't around. The short blonde had a thing about "babysitting," and a habit of complaining when assigned duties he thought beneath him. Humble origins aside, Naruto had his fair share of arrogance, though the issues the young man had with protecting other people had always seemed more like a personal issue than hubris. Put simply, Naruto didn't think he was very good at it. Besides, guarding such a large assortment of the injured was a less than ideal assignment for a shinobi who was barely able to keep himself intact most of the time, much less other people. Most likely Naruto was off with Gaara gleefully killing whatever Cloud and Mist shinobi they came across. It was probably for the best.

The trouble started when the recovery team had uncovered the first batch of survivors and were working to free the second. Kisame's first clue was the minute shifting of Itachi's eyes to a spot immediately above Kisame's head. Even with that, it took a few moments for the quiet hum of repressed chakra to register, but after it did, it couldn't be ignored.

"Asuma-san, if you look to your immediate right, you should be able to sense about nine jounin moving towards our position."

The Leaf jounin stared at him, his last cigarette dropping unlit onto the ground, unnoticed. "Nine?"

Kisame grinned. He knew it made his teeth flash rather unpleasantly, but a good fight was coming, and the prospect of a good, violent challenge always made his blood boil. "They know who they're coming up against. I suggest you get these people out of here. We can take care of this."

A terse gesture of agreement was the only acknowledgement Kisame received before Asuma was moving to gather the last of the patients and evacuate the recovery team, chuunins all who didn't have a chance of surviving the upcoming battle.

"You lied to him."

"Of course I did. Everyone thinks our reputation is overblown, even after you took down the infamous Copy Ninja so easily. Do you really think they'd let us take on over twenty jounin alone?"

Itachi's Sharingan continued to turn.

SWITCH

"I get the feeling that we're missing out on something back home. . . yeah."

"You're too impatient, Deidara."

The young woman tapped her fingers against her cheek in a repetitive, restless pattern. "We're out in the middle of nowhere retrieving some scroll that isn't worth shit in a real battle, chasing around a bunch of low-level jounin with more chakra-repressing ability than brains who think they're on some holy mission of truth. Don't tell me you're actually enjoying this, Sasori."

"Hardly. But we accepted this mission and your eagerness has cost us in the past. We will catch them in time."

"Reiko-sama sent on this mission to get rid of us, I'm sure of it. . . yeah."

The puppeteer master never looked up from his carving. "Who else would she send? The assignment specifically requested an elite team. Yasuo is insane and Gin can barely control him. Itachi and Kisame have their own duties in Kaizen and Gaara and Naruto are untested."

"We were told this wouldn't take any longer than a week. She lied to us. . . yeah. We don't owe her anything."

"It has only been three days."

"It took us two months to get here!"

"You've been saying for years that you deserve an extended vacation."

"When I said vacation, I meant a beach with hot, half naked guys and a decent firing kiln, not some half desert, half wasteland pit where we have to hunt for our own food and sleep on the ground. . . yeah."

Sasori continued to carve. "If you have so much time to complain, partner, go do something productive and scout for those Grass-nin."

"Let me put this in perspective for you, Master Sasori. You have miles of dead wood to work with. The last clay I saw was in a swamp a month and a half ago. I'm running out of ammunition. You know how nervous I get when I'm unarmed, Sasori."

"So find them and we can leave."

"Fine, I will, but if they catch me unawares and I die because all I have left is two C1 explosives and a kunai, you're going to regret it. . . yeah."

SWITCH

The twinge of his curse seal was easy enough to ignore at first. There was usually some backlash after a particularly intensive use of it, and the activation of Level Three for any length of time certainly qualified. But the feeling grew stronger in intensity, spreading from his neck down his back, his arms, across his face. It felt different from the usual backlash in a way that Sakon couldn't describe, but it wasn't until the Konoha ANBU had arrived that Sakon remembered what it meant.

He had been connected to Uchiha Sasuke for years through a barely noticeable but unbreakable chakra link. However, before it had never been activated, and so Sakon hadn't known what it felt like. For good reason.

The link was only supposed to manifest itself when Sasuke was about to die. Sakon had to do anything in his power to stop that from happening, even at the cost of his own life. There had once been a time in his life when he would have minded that last part, but Sakon knew as intrinsically as he knew the necessity of breathing that everything worth keeping alive in himself had died with his brother. His body went on only from some basic survival instinct that had kept his heart beating through those few precarious hours after his defeat at the hand of Toyozen Yasuo, and the knowledge that without at least trying to avenge his twin he would never be able to follow him.

It occurred to Sakon rather belatedly, as he raced towards what he hoped was Sasuke's position at a speed he hadn't thought he could achieve, that it might have been a good idea to bring the Akatsuki along, but the whole incident with the ANBU would have slowed everything down too much.

((Damn it, where the hell is he?))

He came upon Sasuke just in time to see the dark-haired young man tear through a platoon of Cloud ANBU with a hastily conceived Chidori. The Uchiha was breathing in ragged gasps, but his chakra levels weren't below the danger line and he appeared uninjured. From personal experience, Sakon knew that Sasuke could summon at least three more of his signature attacks to him before the activation of the curse seal became a necessity.

It was then that the figure draped in black stepped out of the shadows, body crackling gold with the snap of lightning and green eyes glowing with an unearthly light.

SWITCH

"Sasuke-sama! Behind you!"

It was something of a mystery to Sasuke why Sakon was there at all (hadn't he gone off somewhere with Naruto?), but he didn't disregard the warning. He turned just in time for a lightning jutsu to slam into his chest with sufficient force to push him back several yards until his feet got a good enough grip on the ground that he managed to divert the blast with the remnants of his Chidori. But the diversion came at a price. Sasuke's hands shook in his effort to remain on his feet. The lightning had charred away his vest and the top layer of skin, leaving it red and blistering. His heart stopped and flickered back on after a good ten second interval, during which a rather abbreviated recollection of his life flashed before his eyes. It was somewhat irritating to realize that over half of it revolved around Itachi.

((God, maybe everyone's right and I am a little obsessive.)) This revelation didn't last long enough to stick, as Sasuke's mind was soon far more occupied with the second (somewhat larger) lightning strike speeding towards him.

((I can't. . . I can't block that. I'm going to die. I didn't even manage to change anything.)) For a moment, everything seemed to slow down. Sasuke closed his eyes. ((Now nothing will ever change. I'm sorry.)) He wasn't sure who he was apologizing to. His clan? His brother? Himself? It didn't matter. He had failed. He had failed everyone.

Through his haze of despair and guilt, Sasuke could only vaguely hear Sakon's last words to him. They were kind of strange. . .

"Kuchiyose no jutsu! Rashoumon!"


	18. Finishing What Shouldn't Have Started

Revisions: Thanks to some stuff pointed out by Ouatic-7, Grey( ) and Stratagemini I have changed a lot of this chapter, specifically the second Sasuke/Sakon scene, though I also modified some sword info (seems my sources had some stuff wrong). It was pointed out that having the Raikage be such an insignificant character didn't make much sense, so I toned him down to 'ANBU commander, the Raikage's younger brother," setting this up for a future revenge plot.

Author's Note: Well, here we are. The last chapter of the invasion arc. It's been a fun ride, but now I'm going to move on to other things. Hope you enjoy this one.

No, people, this isn't the end of the fic. I'm only about two-thirds through (maybe a little more. I really have no idea). This just ends the plethora of fight scenes that have been going on since chapter fourteen. We're going back to the whole negotiations issue next chapter, with the Sound added in for variety. Also surgery. Lots of surgery. That's what happens when you land several major characters in the hospital.

To preempt some questions, no, Sasuke does not miraculously achieve the mange Sharingan. What happened exactly will be explained next chapter.

Red Crow: Thanks. I can emphasize with your exhaustion.

Pale Rider: Thanks for pointing out the rematch line. I did mess up there and I fixed it in my draft, so it'll go up on FFN eventually. But I actually did mention that Kakashi had used a doppelganger (bunshin) to go to the meeting for him so he could look for Sasuke. The bunshin of course didn't recognize Naruto (since it wasn't really Kakashi), and no one noticed the difference, because, as Tsunade noted, no one thought Kakashi would be stupid enough to skip out. Direct quote: _"She really should have noticed that Kakashi had used a doppelganger, but of all the meetings for him to play hooky for, she hadn't expected him to be foolish enough to miss this one." _So, um, hah! I only screwed up once!

Patty: Yes, Itachi is going to fight in this chapter, but only briefly. The "big" fight scene (so to speak) is with Sakon and Sasuke. The fight with Kisame and Itachi is secondary, though Itachi will finish off his fight in the next chapter. The battle(s) are going to be longer, though. Gaara and Naruto don't really have fight scenes, sadly. Naruto will reestablish his major character status in the next chapter.

Peter Kim: Yeah. . . I didn't phrase that too great. Sakon's "last words" was a reference to the fact that Sasuke thought he was about to die and the "last words" were the last words he thought he was going to hear. It wasn't Sakon's "last words," it was "Sakon's last words to _him_ (Sasuke)."

keebler-elmo: This chapter doesn't have much in the way of Naruto, but the next one most definitely will. And as for point number one. . . here.

Sailor Comet: Everyone seemed to like that line (anonymous, esther, I'm looking at you). And I had to put Deidara and Sasori in. We have more real Akatsuki to play with now, how could I exclude them? They'll only show up in one more scene this fic, though. And, well, damn. No Kidoumaru.

Sarehptar: I do love Kidoumaru. Sadly, I think he's my favorite character now. He's my muse at least. Yes, it took me three years of fanfic writing to find a muse, but when I finally got him, he turns out to be a six-armed minor bad guy who dies in his only major fight scene. Well, at least he died looking gorgeous (I don't care if people think Neji looked better, I have my preferences, even if they are weird, and they don't run to the androgynous).

Grey: You were right that I did that in "A Twisted Rhapsody," not clarifying who was talking in a scene where several characters spoke at once (I really, really have to go over chapter 3 and fix that), but I didn't think it was so prevelant here, since most of the talking scenes only have two people. Huh. Any chance you can point out the parts where the problem is most glaring?

AngelLucifer: You'll find out what happens to those two here. I'm not making any promises. . .

me: Who am I to refuse fanart? Go ahead.

Orenji Renji: I am kind of hypocritical with my hate-on for Kakairu, then turning around and writing a Kidoumaru/Ino (which is even more out there and random). The thing is, people writing Kakairu doesn't bother me (I like crack as well as the next person), but people not considering Kakairu crack does. It's practically as popular as Sasunaru (which I also don't like, but at least it has basis in canon). When such a not-canon pairing becomes so popular, the fangirls stream in and the writing degrades. I've read a total of one Kakairu fic I actually liked, which just happened to have one of the devices I hate the most (male pregnancy), but I loved it anyway, proving anything is readable with a good writer. Pairings like Kakashi/Gai (rival-slash) or even Itachi/Kisame (partner-slash) have a lot more basis in the fandom, and barely anything is written about them, mainly because Gai and Kisame are so definitely not bishounin, even though Gai is sweet and funny and Kakashi's equal and Kisame is badass. Kakairu is purely pretty boy slash, putting two people together simply because of their looks, and without a decent writer that just turns out crappy. Crack is good. Crack that people bite your head off your head off about if you prefer Kakashi with someone else (as you have probably guessed, my preference is Kakashi/Gai), is not good. Crack should stay crack. Kakairu can be good. I know, I've read it. I don't even really hate _it_ per se, I hate the fandom revolving around it. And I just realized I just wrote a frickin' essay degrading one of your fandoms. Erm. . . sorry. I'm glad I converted you to the coolness that is Sakon, though. Hopefully you'll like him even more before the chapter is out. And bad guys are more fun to write than the good characters.

I've done it. I've joined the dark side. I've become one of the authors who write longer author notes than some stories. Oh my God, I'm going to fanfic writer hell. . .

SWITCH

Naruto knew he should have been paying more attention to his surroundings. He was alone in what was basically enemy territory, without Gaara, Kisame, Itachi, or even Sakon now, to watch his back. But even that sobering thought- the knowledge that for the first time in over four years, disgarding the Rokusho Aoi incident, he was in a battle on his own- was not enough to blunt the rush of utterly exhilarating confidence that now filled him. The Raijin was a weapon of legends, a blade that had cut down hundreds of skilled warriors like they were mere children, and if Naruto had anything to say about it, today, it would cut down hundreds more. And unlike with the Kyuubi, there was no question of who was in control here. Here, with the Lightning Blade, Naruto was the master, trained by one of the premier swordsman of the world, and nothing could hinder him. Nothing could stop him.

It occurred to Naruto rather belatedly that fighting a bunch of shinobi who used lightning techniques with a sword _made _of lightning wasn't such a great idea, as he tried to block an errant attack with the blade and promptly received a rather nasty shock. It didn't stop him- hadn't he already said nothing could?- but it _hurt_.

Of course, Cloud-nins weren't the only shinobi invading Konoha. And lightning versus water jutsus sounded a lot more promising.

Naruto grinned. If he remembered correctly, the Mist-nins were conveniently concentrating their attacks on the borders. And he just so happened to be heading right for the walls. Cool.

SWITCH

Kisame had expected the enemy jounin to be from the Cloud, if only because they were the only shinobi he had seen so far, but it made sense that the Mist would be here too. Alliances weren't worth much if you didn't use your allies. It was still disconcerting, no matter how logical it was, to find yourself facing people, shinobi who could so easily be comrades instead of enemies. People who had, at one point, been comrades.

Once upon a time, there had been seven Mist shinobi famed for their use of the katana instead of the less unwieldy and more conventional kunai and shurikan. Seven, of course, was far too large a number for a decent squad, but the Seven Angels of Shinobi Katana Jutsu (where the hell the angels part had come from, Kisame had no idea, but nicknames rarely made much sense anyway) were familiar with each other, and all of them had fought with all the others, at one time or another. Usually bodyguard duty, for the sheer intimidation factor. Momochi Zabuza had been the most well known outside of the Mist Country, the only one besides Kisame to leave the village and become a missing-nin, but he had been far less clandestine in his activities. He was dead, of course. One of the others had died on an S-Class mission far to the south, and his body had never been found. Another had been poisoned. Only three still remained among the Mist. And in recent times, Kisame had heard that one of their number had become the Mizukage after the former one had died in his sleep.

Kisame didn't bother to restrain his smirk at the sight of the Mist shinobi adorned in the Water Shadow garb. "Ah, Kano, I must say, I'm surprised. Or maybe not. You never were a match for Nami. Makes sense that you would poison her to gain the position as heir, since you could never defeat her in an honest challenge."

Shimagawa Kano was not someone you would expect to find among the famed katana-wielding shinobi. Slight of build and frail, he didn't appear able to properly use the characteristic heavy swords of the Seven. Of course, not all blades were massive, and Kano was happy to revolutionize the sword art by being the first in recent history to duel-wield twin wakizashi, short swords traditionally used more as a defensive weapon or last resort when the longer katana was unavailable. Though it wasn't like the shinobi world at large cared what the traditional use of a samurai weapon was as long as it was a reliable way to kill people. Kano was deadly with his weapons of choice, utilizing his unique style to guard with one and attack with the other. Or at least, he had when Kisame had known him. The last time they had fought with each other had been over seven years ago. Kisame had lost. Badly.

It would have bothered him more, but the precise reason Kado had insisted on thrashing him in a duel at least once a month was to quiet his own fears. Kano had a good decade on Kisame, and besides Nami, had been the strongest of the Seven. At just a few months shy of seventeen, Kisame had already been looking to threaten Kano's position. Which bothered the hell out of Kano, especially since Kisame was infinitely more gregarious and well-liked. Not like that was hard. Kano definitely scored high on the 'effeminate jackass' list.

The new Mizukage's response sounded completely uninterested. "The concerns of a renegade about the line of succession are of no interest to us."

Kisame raised on eyebrow. "So?"

One of the shinobi to the Mizukage's right snickered. "Looks like you haven't changed much, Kisame-kun." His face twisted into a dark smirk. "Still speaking to your betters like they were your equals."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't aware I was speaking to Kano like he was my equal. My mistake. I should have addressed him as an inferior. Should we start again, Kano-chan? This time preferably without Suzu's interference. It irritates me to be talked down to by a worm."

Itachi, who had stood there for the past five minutes and for all appearances had gone unnoticed, shot his partner a quizzical look. It was unusual for Kisame to occupy everyone's attention instead of himself, but considering the Mist-nin appeared to be former comrades, it was understandable. It was not that, but Kisame's uncharacteristic rudeness that caught his attention.

_Kisame_.-

**_What is it, Itachi-san?_**

Even in sign code, Kisame managed to come across as edgy. Itachi didn't care. They had no time for past grudges.

_-Whatever issues you have with these men, forget them. They are not important._-

**_I want to kill him._**

It hardly took a genius to surmise who he was talking about.

_Kisame, we don't have time for-_

A massive zanbatou- so like Zabuza's but easily a full foot longer- rather suddenly interposed itself between them, narrowly missing Itachi's foot as the two Akatsuki elite pushed off in opposite directions to avoid the blow. On the other end of the blade was Suzu, who had none of Kano's slight frame and was in truth built even more muscular than Zabuza, who at least in Kisame's memory had always seemed to have wider shoulders than himself, even if the Demon of the Bloody Mist had been an inch or two shorter. The Crane (Kisame sometimes really wanted to track down the idiots who came up with their monikers and kill them all) hauled his horse-cleaver from its buried position in the ground and slung it over one shoulder.

"Ah, Kisame, you've gone soft while away. Seven years ago you would have had no problem dodging such a blow."

"Seven years ago I would have been cut in two. Back then I still believed you understood the concept of honor. I'm not as naïve as I was at seventeen. It is easy to see now how pathetic you are."

Suzu's lips curled in a snarl. Faster than should have been possible with such a blade, he whipped his zanbatou in a diagonal arc designed to take out Kisame in one stroke. The sword's deigned path was blocked by another.

Kisame blinked. How in hell Itachi had managed to hide any mastery of the sword from him for so long was a mystery. So was where the weapon had come from. A normal-sized blade (for once), barely exceeding three feet in length, it would still be difficult to conceal, even under the coat.

"Itachi-san?"

The Uchiha prodigy turned to him. His eyes turned in the now long familiar three pinwheels, though apparently Itachi didn't yet think it necessary to activate the mange Sharingan. Sensible, more so than normal once Itachi scented the smell of blood. The most advanced form of the Uchiha bloodline took a ridiculous amount of chakra to maintain, more than Itachi could afford against numerically superior opposition. The Underworld Moon was a genjutsu that could only be used against one opponent at a time, and the Great Shining Heaven wrought too much collateral damage, considering they were acting defensively for once and didn't want to demolish the landscape. It appeared today the Sharingan user wanted to keep things clean. Relatively.

"Kisame. This one is mine."

"How far you've fallen, Kisame, letting a pretty-boy fight for you."

Itachi's eyes narrowed. Kisame couldn't help but grin (who didn't enjoy watching someone they hated get in way over their head), until he felt a chakra presence behind him. He turned only in time to feel one and a half feet of sharp metal bite into his side, and meet a pair of eyes that brought to mind the inferno as easily as Itachi's, though where the Sharigan blazed hot, Kano's eyes burned cold.

"I've been waiting to do this for years, Kisame. There is no one to stop me now. Nami will not interfere again."

Kisame bared his teeth, smirking despite the ice that clawed its way towards his chest and made it hard to breath. "Funny. I was thinking the exact same thing." He kicked sharply at the Mizukage's left knee, hoping to land a blow and snap the leg, but Kano was too nimble and danced back, yanking his wakizashi out of Kisame's side and sending another jolt of pain reverberating throughout the entirety of the Akatsuki's body. Kisame rather belatedly pulled the Samehada out of its buried position in the dirt where he had thrust it several minutes earlier and moving into a guarded position. Blood leaked from his wound and sent a steady stream of plasma downwards, coloring the ground a thick, dark red. "Killing Nami was a mistake, Kano. If news of that ever leaked out, you would be eviscerated by a mob, though I'm more than happy to do it instead."

He wasn't exaggerating. Nami had been the proverbial big sister of most of the seven and half the Mist ANBU. Kisame distinctly remembered her making him brownies on his tenth birthday. She had advised Zabuza on what to give Haku for a graduation present, a white rabbit that Haku loved more than anything. She had once saved Kano's life. Kisame had hated Kano long before the death of Nami, but only when news of the ANBU captain's poisoning leaked out had Kisame felt the overwhelming urge to kill him.

The Mizukage's eyes clouded over. "You're welcome to try in their place, Kisame. It will be. . . entertaining."

SWITCH

"Sasuke-sama."

"Sakon, you really shouldn't bother the dead." His eyes were closed, but even through his eyelids Sasuke could see his bodyguard roll his eyes. Apparently his Sharingan was still activated.

"Sasuke-sama, you aren't dead, you fell into shock and fainted. Unfortunately, if you don't get moving in approximately five seconds, both of us _are_ going to die. My barrier isn't going to hold off the Raikage for long."

Sasuke's eyes opened. He pushed himself into a crouched position, but couldn't help but wince at the pain it caused when his movement pulled at the burn on his chest, and it took few seconds for his breathing to stop sounding so harsh in his ears. "The Raikage? You sure?"

"No, but if there is a more powerful Cloud-nin running around somewhere, Konoha is in trouble."

"I couldn't care less about Konoha. _We're_ in trouble."

"I know that, Sasuke-sama, and stating the obvious doesn't really help us much." Sakon watched Orochimaru's heir push off from the ground, only to stagger a few steps and end up leaning heavily against a wall as he tried to figure out how to use his lungs when they felt like they were on fire. The slight Sound-nin let out an irritated sigh as he watched his lord and master attempt for a few seconds to not fall over, before he moved to Sasuke's side and slung the Uchiha's right arm over his shoulders.

"Forget it. You aren't going to be moving under your own power for a while."

"Now who's stating the obvious?"

"Nice to know you finally get a sense of humor when you're about to die." Sakon glared at the summoned Rashoumon Barrier. On the other side lay the Hokage's tower, but so did the Cloud-nin who apparently still had plenty of chakra to spare.

"The outskirts are our best bet, I think. I know the forest around here much better than any Cloud shinobi could, and if we conceal our chakra signatures it should be easy enough to-"

"Sakon, you're monologuing."

"And you're irritating. Who is carrying who here?"

"Once I can feel my hands I'll get back at you for that crack."

Just then, Sakon couldn't have cared less about future repercussions. "Fine. Just try not to be too much deadweight." He made it five steps before he realized that either they had taken too long, or the Rashoumon wasn't as impenetrable as advertised.

"Two Leaf-nin without their forehead protectors and no allies to speak of. How convenient."

Neither Sasuke nor Sakon had thought it possible to think the exact same thought at the exact same time, but occasionally a phrase was just all too appropriate. ((Oh shit.))

SWITCH

"Game."

"But we're not-"

"_Game_, Kidoumaru. I have two fucking pieces, you have seven, five of which are kinged."

"You could still win. I can see at least three different ways you could take out-"

"Yeah, well, I can't. And since you're not playing yourself, what you think doesn't matter shit when it comes to moving my pieces."

"Um. . . alright then. Want to play again?"

"You've won six games in a row."

"So?"

"I'm sick of playing checkers. I've never beaten you at it and I never will."

"How about chess, then?"

"No."

"Four in a row?"

"_No_, damn it, no strategy games!"

"But all the other games are boring."

"I don't care!" Tayuya's voice cracked on the last word. "I don't care about your stupid inability to be entertained by mindless crap like everyone else. I don't care that you're concussed and can still kick my ass at checkers. I don't care that we almost _died_ and you can joke about it only a few hours later, even with a fucking crushed throat and two arms you won't be able to use for a month. Don't think I didn't catch that stupid come-on line, you freak. I've known you far too long to not be able to tell when you're just yanking my chain to get me to do what you want, even something so fucking _stupid _as playing a board game with you. You're a manipulative bastard, and I couldn't care less, except you seem to have no idea of how normal people deal with stress. I've been dying to have a decent shouting match with someone for _hours_, except I couldn't find Jiroubou or Kimimaro and you're being so fucking _cheerful _and taking all this like nothing happened, and I can't even _hit_ you for it because you got the shit beaten out of you in your twisted quest to preserve my _virtue_, like I had any to begin with."

"Tayuya, I _did _freak out, if you'll remember correctly. Then Orochimaru-sama showed up and we got distracted. But we're fine now. None of us were hurt, and the danger is over. None of us died, and no one is going to-"

Tayuya's glass of iced tea, sitting on the bedside table, suddenly made a foreboding cracking sound, immediately before the entire vessel split down the middle and fell apart, one piece falling over the edge and shattering on the floor. The tea made a small river down the slight incline of the tabletop, dribbling down one table leg to make a yellow-tinted puddle on the linoleum. There was a moment of silence.

"Well, _that _was ominous."

"Fuck it. I don't believe in omens."

"You sure you don't want to play some chess?"

"You're _doing _it _again_!"

"I can't help it. I get bored easily."

"You are such a fucking. . ."

SWITCH

"Now, which of you should I kill first?" The Cloud-nin (who was probably the Raikage but wasn't wearing the hat so they had no way of telling) looked both of them over, seeing Sasuke's rather obvious injured state but Sharingan-reinforced glare, observing Sakon's wariness and weariness. The man's gaze finally settled on Sasuke. "You are the one who has been hassling my subordinates."

Sasuke's face twisted into a hard grin. "If by 'hassling' you mean 'tearing apart like tissue paper,' then yes." He received a rather sharp elbow in the side for his trouble. Sasuke shifted his focus to Sakon, who for once met him glare for glare. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Saving your life." And with a rough shove, the pale-haired shinobi pushed the Sound heir behind him with rather too much force, cracking the Uchiha's head against a nearby wall and knocking him unexpectedly unconscious. Sakon never shifted his gaze from the Cloud-nin. "You'll have to excuse my. . . comrade. Sasuke has a bad habit of trying to play hero (a lie). If the Cloud-nins you speak of are in a pile of corpses a quarter mile from here, I was the one who killed them (the truth, even if Naruto had helped). Sasuke isn't worth your trouble, Raikage."

"Raikage?" The Cloud-nin raised one eyebrow. "I'm afraid you're mistaking me for my elder brother. It happens often enough. I am the next in line for the succession, but my skills lay more towards the silent killing end of things. I am the commander of the Cloud ANBU forces. Takamura Kenji, at your service, Leaf-nin."

It was official. Konoha was in trouble.

"Trying to protect the kid is noble, if misguided. Both of you are going to die here, but if you are so eager to meet your end, I suppose the least I can do is oblige you."

The right and honorable thing to do was wait for the ANBU commander to stop talking and then begin their battle. Sakon wasn't honorable, he couldn't care less about chivalry, and Cloud-nin was on an entirely different level then him. Honor was a samurai concept. Sakon was a shinobi.

Somewhere between 'end' and 'suppose,' Sakon readied his kunai. By 'oblige,' he had his left hand wrapped around Takamura's shoulder and was aiming for the jugular with his right. The ANBU smiled as he casually snatched Sakon's hand out of the air and sharply twisted it. Tried to. Sakon kept on moving, ghosting through the Kumo ninja's attempted counter like a specter. The ANBU commander's eyes dilated in shock as he felt the Sound-nin take a hold of his heart from the inside. Sakon's grin was vicious.

"Don't you just hate it when an opponent has an advanced bloodline limit that you've never even heard of?"

"What. . . what did you do?"

"I discorporated and merged myself with your cells. My usual tactic used to be tearing my enemies apart until there wasn't enough of them left to fill a snuff box, but unfortunately I learned a while ago that it doesn't really work against opponents with chakra control vastly superior to mine. So I came up with a different way."

A flash of metal was all the warning Takamura received before pain blossomed from his stomach where Sakon had slammed in the kunai up to the hilt. He coughed blood into his hand. Sakon smiled, though blood also ran down the sides of his mouth to drip onto the ground.

"Effective, isn't it?"

"You're suicidal."

"No, just practical."

"I don't care what you are." Their bodies may have merged, but their chakra had not. The Cloud-nin forcibly tore apart the two identifiable life energies and pushed the foreign one out with a smug smirk. Sakon, dizzy from the sudden separation, staggered a step or two before falling to his knees. Wet coughs wracked the Sound-nin's body as he felt his life-force leak out of him in a heavy stream. He may have incurred a wound identical to the ANBU commander's, but he was half the Cloud-nin's size and didn't have nearly as much blood to lose.

"It didn't take you nearly as long to figure out my weakness as my last opponent. A pity. I guess I'll have to find some other way to kill you."

Takamura sneered. "I can sense your chakra levels. You're tapped out. Hardly a challenge. In fact, you've become rather boring now that you've used up your trick. I think I'll finish you off right now." He pulled the kunai embedded in his side and strolled over to where Sakon had fallen. He moved the weapon towards the Sound-nin's throat, hardly deterred when Sakon gripped his wrist and weakly tried to shove him away. "How beautifully ironic, to kill you with your own weapon-"

"Fire Style! Grand Fireball Technique!"

For a moment, the eye-searing blaze nearly consumed the ANBU commander whole as the Cloud-nin moved back and braced himself against the attack. When the smoke cleared, Takamura was still on his feet, though his clothes smoked and his face was set in murderous lines. Some twenty feet away stood Sasuke, gripping the wall tightly with one hand and grinning harshly as he tried to stave off the black eating away at his field of vision. "It's the mistake of a novice to forget about one enemy in favor of another."

"Damn it, Sasuke-sama, could you have cut it any closer? You burned off my eyebrows!"

"And you gave me a migraine. We're even."

"What you are is dead." That same green light that had almost killed Sasuke before now crackled between the ANBU commander's hands. The light once again filled his vision as it jagged towards him, once again Sasuke found himself unable to move. And once again, something intervened.

History tended to repeat itself. Sasuke couldn't help but feel a distinct sense of déjà vu as his view of the lightning jutsu was blocked, but he didn't remember seeing a body convulse as electricity forced all the muscles to spasm in a grotesque parody of movement, didn't remember watching Sakon fall, didn't remember him collapsing to the ground, his skin charred as black as Sasuke's had been, except now the damage wasn't nearly so limited. For a moment, there was incomprehension.

((He got in the way. He took the attack instead of me.))

"Sakon, you idiot. Why would you. . . why would you do something stupid like that?" Sasuke was alarmed to feel his voice cracking.

Sakon's eyes opened, covered with the grime of his own charred skin, the pupils unfocused and unseeing. "Because. . . little Sasuke, someone needs to look after you."

Sasuke could count on one hand the number of people he had cared about in the last eight years. On one finger, really. Since the massacre of his family, since _Itachi_, Sasuke hadn't allowed himself to care. Caring hurt too much. Caring made you weak. Naruto had been the first to crack through his defenses, but then to all appearances, Naruto had died. And the hole Naruto had made in the wall surrounding Sasuke's heart had not only closed up, it had been reinforced by the agony of knowing he was right, that all caring did, all _loving_ did, was give him more pain.

Love was never sudden. You could never hate someone one moment and love them the next. But one thing love could be was insidious. It could creep up on you with no warning, especially when your walls were so high you couldn't see someone approaching the gates. Sakon had been forced upon him, like Naruto unexpected, unwelcome, and damn near impossible to get rid of. Personality-wise, Sakon and Naruto were nothing alike, but looking into Sakon's fading eyes, Sasuke could all too easily draw comparisons. Naruto had left him forever, because the Naruto that had returned was not the Naruto Sasuke loved. And Sakon was going to leave him, just as Naruto had, just when Sasuke had realized what they meant to him, and how badly it would break him to lose them. Sasuke didn't want to be proven right again.

He was shaken out his shock by Takamura's amused chuckle.

"Not the Leaf-nin I was aiming for, but it is one down, all the same."

"You. . ."

The Cloud-nin cocked his head. "What? Did you say something, Leaf-child?"

Sasuke's eyes were focused on the ground. His fists shook, and began to spark blue. "You monster. . ."

"Oh, I would hardly call myself that, Leaf-child. I was watching you earlier, and you certainly seemed to take enjoyment out of your work."

"How could you let him die. . . you killed him just like your parents. . . just like Naruto. . ."

It finally dawned on Takamura that the raven-haired shinobi wasn't talking to him at all. He frowned. "Talking to yourself, Leaf-nin? You did let your little friend die, but it was inevitable. He was weak, and it is the weak who die."

"Shut up." Blue lightning danced over Sasuke's hands, a divine blaze of chakra and light.

"Are you talking to me, Leaf-child?"

The Uchiha's gaze rose to meet him. The eyes had changed, coalesced more tightly around the pupil, edging out the red with a strange mixture of black and gold, but still the pinwheels turned. "You are not worthy to speak to me. You are not worthy to speak at all." For the first time in years, the ANBU commander felt the beginnings of fear, as the unholy eyes began to consume him. "For my troubles, for my vassal. . . die."

The death scream was drowned out by the chirping of a thousand birds.

SWITCH

Sakon was laughing quietly when Sasuke hurried up to him, chakra extinguished, body aching and noticing none of it. "You know. . . you are a real pain to take care of, Sasuke-sama."

"Sakon, shut up. You need to save your energy."

"There's. . . there's nothing to save it for anymore. You know that as well as I do." A wet cough, and another stream of blood made its way down Sakon's cheek. "Just remember, if Orochimaru-sama gives you a choice for your next bodyguard, request Kidoumaru. Any of the others would just piss you off." A weak chuckle. "And vice-versa.

"But it wasn't. . . all that bad. Even if you are a brat, I couldn't really hate you all that much. It was nice to act as the older brother for once. I wonder if I ever drove Ukon to distraction as you did me. I guess. . . I guess I'll be finding out soon."

"Sakon, damn it, will you just-"

Sakon's eyes closed. "For once, Sasuke-sama, just stop talking. I'm already. . . very tired. Listening to you is so. . . exhausting. . ."

"Sakon? Sakon!"

There was no response.

Sasuke couldn't remember the last time he cried, but that was a lie. He had cried at the funeral of his mother, not for her, but for himself. He had failed to save her. He had failed to save everyone. After that, he had vowed never to cry again. And he never broke a promise.

None of this explained the twin trails of warm, salty water leaking from the corners of his eyes and making their way down his face. His promise was one made by a child in a moment of grief, a promise never to grieve again. But no one can make such a vow and expect to keep it.

He brushed a hand across Sakon's cheek, wiping away the still-fresh blood. "Sakon, I'm sorry. . . so sorry. . ." His hand stopped, poised above Sakon's lips, his open mouth, and for a moment, Sasuke's heart stopped. The dead didn't draw in air. The dead didn't breath.

There was still time. But Sasuke had to hurry.

SWITCH

Temari snorted in disgust at the backs of the retreating Mist-nin. "That was just pathetic."

Kankuro sighed in agreement. "Yeah, I know. Gaara takes out a dozen of them with his sand and they run. Cowards."

"It was pretty gruesome though."

"Yeah."

Temari turned to her younger brother. "You've gotten better controlling your sand, Gaara. Didn't even take out any trees that time."

Gaara nodded seriously. "Mother doesn't have much say in my doings anymore. I can even sleep sometimes now. It is. . . good."

"Good? That's great!"

Kankuro interrupted their impromptu bonding session. "Guys, it looks like we missed one."

"Mind if I take this, Gaara?"

"Not an enemy."

Temari frowned. "What?"

"Gaara, finally found you! Damn, never expected to find you here."

"Naruto, you are late."

"Yeah, sorry about that. . ."

"No, I mean you are late. You missed the Mist-nin. They have left."

Naruto's eyes widened. "What? You have got to be _kidding_ me! I got back the Raijin for this fight and I _missed_ it?"

"Yes."

Naruto's face fell.

Gaara slowly walked over to Naruto's position. There was an awkward pause as the former Sand-nin thought of something to say. "Sorry."

Naruto sighed. "Not your fault, Gaara. I just took too long. Damn it though, I was really looking forward to this!" In a pique of frustration, he hurled the as yet inactivated Lightning Blade as hard as he could at the nearby guard wall, and the hilt rather ingloriously cracked right down the middle. There was a moment of silence.

"Damn it all to hell! Could today get any worse?"

SWITCH

The Samehada skidded half a dozen yards before coming to rest at Kano's feet. The only sound that followed was Kisame's abrupt collapse, his body too weakened to stand from the numerous cuts covering every inch of his body. The Mizukage casually wiped away the blood from his sole wound, where the skin had been shaved away from his shoulder by the abrasive blade of the sharkskin sword.

"You have improved markedly, Kisame. Unfortunately for you, so have I. I took more than the right of inheritance from Nami's corpse. It was amazing how many jutsus she had imbedded in herself to increase her proficiency, and I learned them all. You never had that luxury, did you? It's almost unfair.

"Your blade is as impressive as ever, though. I have always admired the chakra-absorbing qualities of the Samehada, and its capacity seems to have increased even more. An excellent trophy."

"Don't touch. . . my sword."

"The dead shouldn't speak, Kisame." Kano reached down and grasped the Samehada by the hilt, almost casually swinging it around. "It's even well-balanced. A truly amazing weapon, one you are not worthy of, but it is worthy of-"

Whatever Kano was going to say next was cut off by the screams dragged from his throat as his skin was violently shaved off in bloody, gory layers, starting from his hand and moving to cover his entire body, exactly the same way his shoulder had been cut, but everywhere, and much, much deeper. It was a ghastly sight, made more so by the damage lacking any visible source. It was as if the ghosts themselves were tearing the Mist-nin apart.

The body that fell to the ground less than a minute later held no resemblance to what had once been Shimagawa Kano, the Water Shadow, with the Samehada still in hand. Kisame smiled.

"I told you not to touch my sword. But you never did listen to me, Kano."

SWITCH

"Kimimaro."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

"Sakon's tardiness concerns me. The due date for his last message passed over a week ago. Something is going on in Konoha, and it displeases me to be uninformed. I want you to investigate. Immediately."

Kimimaro bowed and quietly stepped out, leaving Orochimaru alone, his golden eyes glowing slightly in the darkness.


	19. Waiting Impatiently for the Inevitable

Author's Note: For some reason, partnerships have become a major theme in this fic. So have relationships in general, though not of the romantic kind, even though there are a few of those. I kind of like it. Keeping most relationships in my story platonic skips over a lot of clichés, which I'm very happy about.

Some things I have learned recently: Kidoumaru is indeed very intelligent, according to his stats. The smartest in Otogakure except for Orochimaru and Kabuto, and the most intelligent of the younger group except for Shikamaru, who beats him out, and Sakura, who ties him. Awesome. The Samehada does, in fact, hurt anyone who uses it except Kisame (see manga chapter 257), though more to the extent I described with Itachi (badly tearing up the hands) and not as bad as I described with the Mizukage (full body carnage). Still, it's cool that I predicted something, though my theory as to why it hurts people is probably different from the canon. Deidara is probably a guy, though that is still not confirmed. I don't really care. Deidara is much more fun as a girl. Zetsu is the flytrap guy for the Akatsuki. He has a way of seeing things very far away. No idea how I'm going to involve him (wait, yes I do. Never mind). Bleach is a very cool manga, and if someone writes Kenpachi and Yachiru fanfiction I will love them forever.

Stratagemini: wince Thanks for pointing out the Cloud/Mist mix up. I completely missed that. I corrected the wakizashi thing, I think, but I've read in several places that 'katana' is often used generically for sword. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Grey: Corrected the grammar mistake. Rewrote the Raikage as his younger brother (also helps to set up for future antagonism, luckily). I actually have some more Sasuke-angst for this chapter to add onto his realization from the last. I do think I'm getting a little better with the talking exchange.

shikome kido mi: Certain developments planned for this story would make a Kidoumaru/Tayuya pairing rather difficult. They're fun to write together because Kidoumaru is laid back enough to enjoy Tayuya's company regardless of her insults, but they're not going to end up together.

ChibiRisu-chan: I have given in to the Sasuke-angst. He is far too easy to torture.

daflippnay: Naruto and Gaara are a good match, and there is some more interaction between them here.

ManicReversed: Platonic relationships are just deeper a lot of the time. It's kind of funny how many friendships in this fic could evolve in romance and just. . . don't. I'm considering writing a parody chapter at the end in which all the partnerships get together, just for fun. Naruto hasn't eaten in over twenty hours, so it would figure he was starving.

keebler-elmo: Kisame is the strongest. . . or at least he was supposed to be. Kano cheated. From what I got from the Zabuza-arc, the bodies of shinobi can be analyzed for their techniques, which is what Kano did for Nami, who was rather powerful before she died.

Datenshi Aoi: I'll probably go back and fix that eventually, but in all my subs Akatsuki is translated as 'Red Moon' and it's only lately that everyone has figured out what it really means.

Peter Kim: What Sasuke did exactly against the ANBU commander will be revealed soon. Sasori and Deidara did have a short scene in Chapter 17, mostly just Deidara bitching about being sent across the country for a mission. Zetsu will make an appearance soon. Probably next chapter.

battle fox: Opinion is split on Deidara's gender.

TheArchives: The Sound Five are, as a group, probably my favorite. I favor Kisame and Itachi as a partnership overall, but my favorite Naruto character is actually Kidoumaru, so I try to write the five well, though Jiroubou and Kimimaro are kind of being ignored. Sasuke has. . . issues here. Different issues from usual. He's a complete bastard to Sakon most of the time, they don't really like each other, and for some reason they kind of ended up sharing the same dynamic Sasuke and Naruto used to have, minus the rivalry and with Sakon's own problems added on.

Patty: I made it a point to write a scene between the Uchiha brothers where they are not (a) trying to kill each other, or (b) fucking like bunnies. They need some variation in their lives.

I have a question for the general audience. Why does everyone like Kisame more after the shit got beaten out of him? Really, I want to know.

----

The Mist jounin had made room for the battle between Kisame and the Mizukage, obviously experienced with their leader's preferences when it came to fighting. Unfortunately, the only other available target in the area was Itachi, though who it was unfortunate for was left up to debate. The Uchiha prodigy could almost taste the blood in the air, heightening his senses just the slightest, though only Kisame had been wounded so far. Not that Itachi particularly liked blood, but its very existence made this encounter vastly more interesting then the Konoha negotiations could ever hope to be.

Itachi was a genius. No one in his memory had ever disputed this, but the odds weren't that great against such a numerically superior opponent. This would have been the opinion of an experienced observer. In the mind of the Uchiha prodigy, there had never been room for doubt, and so he didn't. He would win this battle, because he never lost. Itachi had decided as soon as he had sensed the Mist approaching that he would not resort to the mange Sharingan. As Sasuke can attest, Itachi wasn't very reliable when it came to keeping promises. Any opponent that was foolish enough to rush him en masse just wasn't worth his time. It took him approximately a second to decide on a course of action, and another two to implement it. What had once been twenty Mist jounin was soon just a pile of smoky ashes, ringed with an opaque black fire that blazed on even with nothing to fuel it. Itachi turned to his sole remaining opponent, his kaleidoscope pupils reverting to their usual three pinwheels with a blink. Suzu was staring at him with something very akin to fear, but was more likely astonishment. Fear wasn't an emotion any experienced shinobi was capable of feeling. Not really.

"Great Mother of God. . ."

"Great Shining Heaven," Itachi corrected.

"What the hell are you?"

"An Uchiha."

Suzu's face reverted to its usual smirk. "Funny. I heard they were all dead."

"They should be. I killed them all."

Itachi had never thought of Kisame as particularly clever, even as battle savvy as the former Mist-nin was, but compared to Suzu, his partner was the pinnacle of intellect. It shouldn't have been so easy to surprise the elite of one of the main villages twice in less than a minute, or at least the zanbatou wielder should have been able to hide his bewilderment. Suzu tried to regain his composure, but Itachi had already slotted him neatly into the 'skilled but an idiot' category of his mental shinobi dossier, ranked about three places below Naruto.

"That technique you used was pretty, little Uchiha, but you were foolish to waste it on my subordinates. It is too easy to dodge an attack once you've seen how it works."

Itachi now knew where Kisame had gotten the bad habit of talking in the middle of a battle. It was apparently a plague in Mist Village. He was already halfway to Suzu before the Mist shinobi was done talking, already had his katana ready to bisect the Crane in two while Suzu still had his sword slung over his right shoulder. By all reasonable expectations, the fight should have been over in seconds. But a split-second before Itachi was in position to strike, Suzu's smirk turned nasty. His zanbatou again swung at an unbelievable speed to do to Itachi what Itachi had been planning to do to him, but Itachi wasn't there, having ducked under Suzu's strike before the Mist-nin's wrist had even twitched and scored a minor cut along the Crane's left side.

"You have more experience with the katana then I credited you with, Uchiha."

"You project your movements." The words were a lie, but many of the properties of the Sharingan were unknown outside of Konoha, and it was more satisfying to convince his enemy that they were inferior rather then let them realize they were being outsmarted. Itachi knew he was rusty. He hadn't used his katana in years. The last blood his blade had tasted had been that of his parents, and using it against such vastly inferior opponents left the sword feeling somewhat tainted, so Itachi hadn't touched it for battle since, though he carried it out of habit. Suzu was desperately lacking in intelligence, that Itachi already knew, but the Mist-nin was more skilled with the blade then anyone Itachi had ever met outside of Kisame, and he could hardly practice his skills to their full extent against his partner. The Underworld Moon would have been a faster end to the whole annoying episode, but Itachi wasn't one to pass up an opportunity when it presented itself, and he was hardly going to waste most of his remaining chakra on such a complete and utter fool.

----

In the end, their encounter proved to be a disappointment. They circled each other for a good five minutes after every short exchange, trying to discern weaknesses, but before either of them had landed blows of any consequence, Suzu's gaze turned to focus on something to Itachi's right, and the zanbatou wielder's face twisted into a disgusted grimace.

"I'm sorry to let down your expectations, Uchiha, but I'm afraid I have to cut our battle short." And with no further ado, the Crane left, leaving Itachi feeling like he had just gotten to the good part of a movie and Kisame had recorded over the rest with a documentary on marine life. He could have pursued the Mist-nin, Itachi supposed, but there wasn't any real point. He wasn't particularly bloodthirsty by nature, and killing a fleeing opponent he would likely never encounter again was an unnecessary application of energy best used elsewhere. Like finding out where Kisame had gotten to. He hadn't felt his partner's chakra signature move in almost three minutes, and in a battle, that was a long, long time.

It didn't take him long to find Kisame and the Mizukage. The Samehada tended to shred away anything it came in contact with, which left an easily recognizable trail of stone shredded like tissue and blood splatters. Shinobi Kisame may have been, subtle he was not.

The thickening blood trails were worrying. Kisame's sword was intended to take down enemies in one stroke, not wear them down gradually, and a fight continuing even after so much blood had been spilt most likely meant that the Mizukage was winning. What little Itachi had heard of Shimagawa Kano had painted the wakizashi user as a skilled swordsman, but none of his sources had indicated the Mizukage's abilities were on such a high plane that he was able to badly wound an Akatsuki elite with little or no damage to himself.

Itachi was no longer capable of wincing, not after having been through so many battles that would have broken the minds of lesser beings and surviving horrors that should have only existed in nightmares, but the sight of Ksame lying in an ever widening pool of his own blood made the Uchiha's mouth tighten. He crouched by his partner's side and checked for a pulse, his heartbeat reverting immediately to its usual speed as soon as he felt the steady throbbing of life under his fingers. Itachi let a sigh escape him as he pushed himself to his feet. Kisame had apparently won the battle, as was made evident by the fact that the former Mist-nin was still alive and the Mizukage most definitely wasn't, though how Kisame had achieved that with his sword in the hands of his enemy was a disquieting thought. Itachi had noticed the double-edged tendencies of the Samehada in the hands of anyone but Kisame years ago when their partnership had first been formed, but the blade had seemed merely antagonist towards him and not outright murderous. The wounds that covered Shimagawa Kano were characteristic of the sharkskin sword, but only if it had been wielded by an insane butcher. Itachi had never witnessed Kisame use the Samehada in such a crude and bloody manner, and he doubted his partner would change his fighting style so abruptly. It was the blade and not its owner who had won this battle.

The idea of a sword that could consciously choose its wielder and fatally disregard those found unsuitable was unsettling. Itachi was tempted to leave the Samehada where it lay, but by long experience he knew the one thing that could actually raise Kisame's ire against him was the misuse of his long cherished blade. It was with no noticeable trepidation that Itachi reached down and grasped the Samehada's handle, but he had mastered his physical reactions years ago and how he acted outwardly was never any indication of what he truly felt. Even so, Itachi couldn't help but pause for a moment with the blade's tip less than a foot from the ground, waiting. Nothing happened.

Disregarding former hesitation, Itachi returned quickly to Kisame's side and returned the Samehada to its sheath before hoisting his partner with some difficulty over his back, staggering slightly before adjusting to the shift in weight distribution. The sword or Kisame individually would have presented little problem, but put together they totaled over three times Itachi's bodyweight and were awkward to carry, as Kisame was easily eight inches taller then himself. But he managed. He always did.

Itachi moved as quickly as he could down the deserted streets and tried to remember if both shinobi hospitals had been totally destroyed or just the one, ignoring the blood that leaked through his coat and saturated his shirt. Itachi was a prodigy, which meant knowing when it was wise to not pay attention to what he couldn't change.

----

Shizune was beginning to wonder why her job description read 'Hokage's Assistant' when most of what she did seemed to consist of doing everything but assisting. Today alone she had woken up Tsunade from a drunken stupor, filed paperwork, led two ANBU squads in pursuit of an S-class criminal, and organized the entirety of Konoha's medic-nin complement in the middle of an invasion, which was what she was doing now. It wasn't even dinnertime yet.

The Godaime herself wasn't available to act as director of this frantic and bloody parade. Tsunade was currently handling the most critical cases, a.k.a. trying to be a miracle worker. Shizune knew her teacher well enough to know the sannin would likely beat herself up over every shinobi who died on her table, no matter how far gone they were when they arrived. That was the shittiest part of the Hokage job. You were required to take on everyone else's problems as well as your own. It took most of Shizune's time just to keep Tsunade from relapsing back into alcoholism from the stress. Coping was unfortunately one of the Hokage's weak points. Read: She wasn't very good at it.

Shizune wasn't much better, and after only an hour felt badly harrowed by the constant pressure of authority. Knowing every decision she made would likely end in someone's death put her nerves on a razor's edge, and when the door of her makeshift office adjacent to the hospital's main waiting room was slammed open with enough force to knock it off its hinges, she almost jumped out of her skin.

Her heartbeat wasn't quieted by the sight that met her eyes. Standing in the entryway was Sasuke, almost unrecognizable with his eyes wide and Sharingan turning a brilliant gold instead of the usual deep red, blood covering his face and what looked like a burnt corpse in his arms.

"Sasuke, what do you think you're doing-"

"Save him."

Shizune blinked. "What?"

"Save him, or die with him. Choose now."

It was a ridiculous demand. There was no way the body grasped tightly to Sasuke's chest would last another five minutes, if it was alive at all. But Sasuke's uncanny eyes were focused directly on her, and the intensity that emanated from them put to mind her one encounter with Orochimaru, and the soul-rending terror she felt for hours afterward. The Uchiha wasn't joking, and even worse, Shizune was fairly sure he could pull off his threat with ease. But she tried to remain professional. Powerful or no, Sasuke was still a subordinate as a rookie jounin, and she couldn't allow him command of the situation.

"Sasuke, we have to put a priority on cases with a high probability of survival, and I'm afraid that. . ." The words died in Shizune's mouth as the Sharingan user's face contorted in anger. She couldn't help but push up against the back of her chair as the Uchiha started to move towards her, his body shaking with every step. "Sasuke, listen-"

"Well, the procedure was overly complicated and these clothes are ruined, but it looks like Raido will be just- what the hell is going on here?" Both Shizune and Sasuke turned to the unexpected presence of Tsunade, standing just outside the room's entrance with a mixture of curiosity and irritation adorning her face. Sasuke abruptly changed tactics, switching his focus entirely to the Godaime. He held out the dying man in his arms.

"Save him." And Shizune's mouth dropped open when for a split second, the Uchiha's expression cracked like a poorly constructed mask and revealed the damaged child beneath. The heir to the Uchiha's legacy was afraid, and for once, it wasn't for himself. "Please."

Tsunade stared at Sasuke, considering something that Shizune couldn't discern, before nodding. "Give him to me. I'll do what I can."

"But Tsunade-sama, what about-"

"Shizune, you're a good assistant and a great doctor, but this is something you can't possibly understand."

Shizune felt her mouth shut with a _click_. She watched, rather dumbfounded as Tsunade hurried out the door, the unknown shinobi now in her arms, with Sasuke just a step behind her. And nearly ran into Itachi, or what Shizune thought was the Akatsuki elite. He was soaked head to toe in blood, so much that it was dripping into his eyes and a puddle had already formed around his feet. Thrown across the elder Uchiha's back was Hoshigaki Kisame, either unconscious or dead. It was easy enough to discern that it was from the former Mist-nin that the blood originated. It was a gruesome sight, even for a trained battle medic, but Tsunade didn't seem bothered, which just proved how far she had gone in getting over her blood phobia. Or at least how good she had gotten at hiding it.

"May I help you?"

"Heal him."

It appeared that the Uchiha clan shared essentially the same vocabulary (euphemisms notwithstanding), though the elder brother's tone was much more even. Almost uninterested. Shizune was reminded rather vividly of a horror movie she had seen once. It just wasn't right for someone to be so calm covered with the blood of a comrade.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "God, you Uchihas sure have a way of getting your friends hurt, don't you."

Itachi didn't answer, just continued to stare at her with his inhuman calm (though the Sharingan was noticeably absent). Tsunade sighed irritably. "I'm busy."

Silence.

Another sigh. "Shizune, use medic team four and see what you can do for Hoshigaki. I still have to deal with Sasuke's friend here."

"Um. . . right, Hokage-sama."

Behind Tsunade, Sasuke was still frozen, his eerie golden eyes riveted on Itachi. His brother. The man who had murdered his entire family was right in front of him, apparently too weak to even maintain the Sharingan. This was the perfect opportunity. He could. . . he could. . .

His eyes fell on the broken form of Sakon, and his resolve melted. Who the hell was he kidding? Sasuke himself was hardly in any shape for a fight. Sakon wasn't going to last long, and a battle less then three feet away would hardly improve his chances. Sasuke would have forever to kill Itachi. Sakon only had about five minutes.

It probably should have been harder to make a decision, but Sasuke found it was hardly difficult at all to wrench his eyes away from his brother's gaze and return it to the Godaime. "Hokage, what are you waiting for? Sakon isn't-"

"I know." Tsunade returned her stare to the elder Uchiha. "Move, please. I have a critical patient here."

With a graceful nod, Itachi stepped aside, and Tsunade walked quickly toward a surgery room also adjacent to the waiting area. Sasuke tried to follow her, but the Godaime stopped him dead right outside the door, "No non-healers allowed, kid. You'd just get in the way," And slammed it in his face. For a few seconds, the younger Uchiha could just barely hear the muffled sound of voices arguing before a curt word from Tsunade ended the debate.

Behind him, Sasuke could see out of his peripheral, Sharingan-enhanced vision the sight of four medic-nins loading his brother's partner onto a stretcher, with Shizune officiating and Itachi standing near, watching calmly. But Sasuke couldn't help but notice the elder Uchiha's eyes were ever so slightly narrowed.

----

Naruto was depressed. This wasn't a word that applied to him, as a rule, but it was the only one that really worked just then. He had fought, yes, but no one really worth it. He had met up with Sasuke and the encounter had fortuitously not turned into a brawl, but they had been together for what, like half an hour? He had gotten the Raijin back, but that was a curse, not a blessing. Naruto had owned the sword for a year and nothing worse had happened to it then a scratch or two, but less then an hour after borrowing it and he had managed to break the ancient weapon beyond repair. Today officially sucked. He hadn't even eaten lunch yet. Or breakfast for that matter.

The day didn't look to be improving either. Reuniting with Gaara had been a highlight, but Naruto still had the arduous and dangerous task of telling the Lady Hokage he had broken her sword before him.

Standing in front of the Hokage's Tower, for a moment, Naruto seriously considered asking Gaara to choke him until he had lost consciousness, because there was no other way he was going to manage to get out of this. Naruto would have liked to say he was afraid of no one, but in truth, the Lady Hokage scared him. Badly. Itachi was probably stronger, and creepier, but he didn't have mood-swings. Dealing with Itachi on a social level was at least somewhat predictable, but Naruto had no idea what Tsunade would do to him. And he hated the not-knowing part most of all. At least if he was confident she was going to beat him to a pulp, he could mentally ready himself (or have Gaara choke him). Uncertainty sucked.

He glanced at his partner. "You ready?"

Gaara's return look was studiously bland. "I didn't break the sword."

Naruto's self-imposed confidence wilted. "Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome."

"That was _sarcasm_, Gaara."

"I know."

Naruto took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Gaara's complete inability to express emotion (to even feel emotion, really) made it a waste of time to get angry at him. Naruto was sick of wasting time. "If you aren't going to act as my backup, why didn't you leave with your brother and sister?"

"They were going to finish lunch. I've already eaten."

"So you just came to _watch_?"

"Your struggles to form reasonable excuses for your misdoings can be entertaining."

"I can't. . . you. . . ah damn it! You're impossible!"

"Some might say so."

"Fine, forget you. I'll do this by myself." Resolutely, Naruto walked up to the tower's entrance, and pulled firmly on the door handle. It wouldn't open. "What the hell?"

"Naruto, if you're looking for Tsunade, you might want to try the southern hospital. She's gone to treat some of the casualties."

Naruto started at the sudden presence at his back. "Kakashi-sensei? What are you doing here?"

"He's been following me."

For a moment, Kakashi glanced indifferently at the scarlet-haired Akatsuki elite before focusing again on his former student. "Kakashi alone will do just fine. I haven't been your teacher for years."

Naruto felt inexplicably hurt that his old genin-cell leader wouldn't allow him any familiarity, but he managed to brush it off. He was Naruto, after all. Nothing could bother him, nothing ever did, even though the irony of Sasuke being the only one of his former comrades to accept him now was sort of funny. Naruto didn't much like black humor.

"I. . . thank you, Kakashi. I'll do that."

Kakashi shrugged, seeming completely uninterested. It was only for a second, but with that gesture, Naruto couldn't help but hate him. It wasn't just how bored Kakashi looked. The Hatake prodigy practically radiated apathy. He truly didn't care. Naruto wondered if he ever had.

Naruto could still feel the jounin's eyes burning into his back as he and Gaara turned around a corner towards their new destination. Out of Kakashi's line of sight, Naruto's face twisted into a bitter smirk.

((Don't even bother, Kakashi-_sensei_. I don't grieve over losing your friendship. And I never will.))

----

Even at the hospital Naruto couldn't seem to find the Hokage.

"Ah, excuse me-"

The medic walked right past him without responding, never even glancing in his direction.

Naruto's temperament had evened out a lot over the years. He rarely lost his temper impulsively anymore. Now he just lost it deliberately. "Hey!" Reaching up slightly to grab the man's collar (the healer happened to be about five inches taller then him), Naruto yanked the medic-nin down to his eye level. "I was talking to you."

Gazing into the Akatsuki elite's strange slitted eyes, the healer swallowed tightly. "May I. . . may I help you?"

"Yeah, you can. Where's the Lady Hokage?"

"Tsunade-sama? She's right over there-"

"Finally, some decent information!"

"-but she's in surgery right now."

"Oh." Enthusiasm deflated, Naruto let go of the medic-nin, who quickly scrambled off. "Damn, we came all this way for nothing."

"Itachi is here."

"What?"

"He's across the hall."

"What is Itachi doing in a hospital? He never gets hurt."

Gaara shrugged.

Even before Naruto opened the door he could sense the tension. Two pairs of eyes glanced at them as they entered the hospital's waiting room, before returning their gazes to their respective walls. For a moment, Naruto's might went blank. Sasuke, eyes an eerie gold and vest melted off to reveal the charred skin beneath. Itachi, completely soaked in half-dried blood with a rusty katana by his side. The Uchiha brothers, not moving. Not _fighting_. What the hell was going on?

"What the hell is going on?" Let it never be said that Naruto was one to keep his thoughts to himself.

Sasuke didn't even bother to look away from his wall this time. "Nothing, Naruto."

"Nothing my ass! What's with your eyes?"

Now the younger Uchiha did look at him. "My eyes?" He sounded confused.

"Yeah, they're yellow and creepy and. . . forget the eyes. Where's Sakon?"

Sasuke gestured vaguely at one of the many doors arranged around the waiting room. "In there."

"Shit, did something happen?"

"He was electrocuted and stabbed in the stomach. Probably going to die." Sasuke's voice was indifferent, but there was a big difference between Kakashi's seeming disinterest and Sasuke's. Sasuke wasn't good at faking it.

". . .oh." Searching for a different topic to take his mind off the possible impending death of someone he actually somewhat liked, Naruto switched his focus to the elder Uchiha. "So, um, Itachi, what are you doing here?"

"Kisame is in surgery right now."

"He's in _what_?" The thought of Kisame wounded was almost as unbelievable as that of a hurt Itachi. Naruto had been working with them for four years, and never in his memory had either of them ever been injured badly enough to warrant serious treatment. And worse. . . he _liked _Kisame. Sakon was just an acquaintance and a short-term comrade, but Kisame was a friend. One who had trained him. One who had actually put up with some of his moods instead of following Itachi or Gaara's usual path by telling him to shut up. Kisame was his mentor, had in many ways taken the place of Iruka. And Kakashi. The thought of losing him made Naruto's mouth go dry.

"He fought the Mizukage. Lost quite a bit of blood. He'll be fine, of course. Kisame always is." Itachi's tone was, as usual, factual. Even if the words made it sound like he was trying to be comforting. Whether it was to Naruto or himself, the younger Akatsuki didn't know. Still, it did explain Itachi's blood-drenched appearance.

"Uh. . . okay. I guess I'll wait with you guys then." Naruto sat down on the only remaining free bench. Gaara seated himself next to him. There was an uncomfortable silence.

After a few minutes, Sasuke stood up abruptly "I'm going for a walk." The three Akatsuki elite watched him leave through one of the many doors, Gaara and Itachi immediately returning their attention to nothing in particular, but Naruto continued to stare at the younger Uchiha's exit. After a moment, he also pushed himself to his feet. Gaara and Itachi looked at him.

"I'm. . . going for a walk too." With no further ado, Naruto followed his former teammate, quickly disappearing from the sight of his fellow Akatsuki. And again there was silence, but even that didn't last long.

"Naruto. . . is a fool."

With a quiet sigh, Gaara nodded in agreement.

----

"Sasuke! Hey, Sasuke, wait up!"

Sasuke complied, but did so irritably and with much impatience. "What do you want, Naruto?"

"I'm here to stop you from brooding. I kind of thought you would have grown out of it by now, but here you are, going off by yourself again. Bet it's gotten really old for Sakura and Kakashi."

"I'm not brooding. I just can't think with Itachi near me."

"I mean, I guess this is a more appropriate time to be all dark and introspective then most, seeing as Sakon and you are close friends and he's hurt pretty bad-"

"I said I am _not _brooding. And Sakon and I are not friends."

"Of course you are. Why else would you be so depressed?"

"I don't like Sakon. I never have. He's sarcastic and impudent and almost as irritating as _you_ ever were."

"And you don't like me."

"No, I don't."

Naruto wasn't very socially adept, but he wasn't stupid. "And yet you saved me from Haku. And Orochimaru."

Sasuke glared at him. "Don't you dare get the wrong idea, dead last."

"Naw, I'm pretty sure I'm getting the right one. There's a world of difference between liking someone and caring about them, Sasuke. I never liked _you _much either, but it would have hurt an awful lot if you'd died."

"Proximity. . . made it harder to ignore you."

Naruto grinned. "Yeah."

"I couldn't get rid of Sakon either."

"And it sucks an awful lot that you might be losing him now, doesn't it."

The younger Uchiha turned on the Akatsuki elite with a snarl, slamming him roughly against the wall. "And what would _you_ know about loss, idiot? You never had anything to begin with so how could you possibly know what it feels like?"

It was with a quiet composure Naruto hadn't known he possessed that he met Sasuke's gaze with his own, eerie gold against slitted blue. "A good friend of mine is being operated on right now. He might not make it. It's likely enough that even Itachi is worried. Every time I think of the possibility of his death, I feel a lead ball grow in the pit of my stomach.

"It isn't really comparable, of course, to losing your family. But as you said, Sasuke, I never had anyone. Losing one of the few I've gained makes me feel sick."

Sasuke let go of Naruto's shirt and turned away. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "So. When did you become so thoughtful?"

Naruto grinned. "Eh, probably around the same time I got Gaara as a partner. You need to be deep to even try to understand how he thinks. But if it's any comfort, it never lasts long."

"What doesn't?"

"My thoughtfulness. I mean. . . um. . ." For a moment, Naruto trailed off. "Hey Sasuke. . . do you have any idea where the cafeteria is around here?"

Sasuke gave the shorter shinobi an incredulous look. "Are you _kidding_?"

"Er. . . not really. You see, I haven't eaten since last night-"

With one last stare of complete disgust, the younger Uchiha stalked back towards the hospital's waiting room.

"Sasuke-"

"I'm sure a shinobi with such a deep and thoughtful nature as yourself can manage to scrounge up some dinner, dead last."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Figure it out, genius." A door slammed, leaving Naruto alone. Without any food. Naruto couldn't help but feel a little cheated.


	20. Reuniting Team Seven

Author's Note: Gai is one of my favorite characters, but for some reason, I have never written him before. Tell me how I did. One more thing… several months ago I commissioned a piece for this fic from Kagaya, who used to be my beta, and I received it a few days ago. It is beautiful. Chapter 15, when Sasuke and Naruto are bitching at each other and Sakon is looking on in disgust. Just for this occasion, I rewrote the dialogue.

Sasuke: You suck.

Naruto: No, _you_ suck.

Sakon: You both suck. Argument over.

Side-note: Sasuke is not in fact wearing an ANBU vest, as ANBU vests don't have scroll holders, but just a vest that he wears because he doesn't like the chuunin one, so don't ask about the lack of an ANBU tattoo.

Here it is (remember to take out the spaces): www . deviantart . com / view / 18153482 /

I also got my first fanart. I'm so happy. It's Sakon and Sasuke chatting. 'tis here: www . deviantart . com / view / 18362538 /

One more thing; I have my beta back. No more stupid mistakes. Woohoo!

me: The picture is beautiful, and I'm so happy to get fanart it's sickening. Thank you. And yes, I try to stop this story from being too predictable.

magical-flyingdragon: When I really think about where this fic has gone, it's really kind of weird. The two people everyone is cheering for is Sakon and Kisame. Think about that for one second. Sakon and Kisame. The bad guys, minor bad guys at that. Guess it just shows what AUs can do. And I am not trying to bash Sasuke. It kind of reads like that in the beginning because Sasuke is being viewed from different people's perspectives, but I try to keep him true to form when I actually write him. And Gai is in this chapter, though Anko isn't. I just realized when I wrote this chapter how much fun Gai is to write.

Letta: Naruto is kind of alone here, but mainly because he hasn't had a chance for anyone to show any concern for him. He gets some Gaara and Kakashi love here. And yes, Kisame and Sakon are awesome.

Sailor Comet: That's what I thought of too. And then I was like, "I'm a prophet. Cool!"

Hoshigaki Fan: Actually, I wouldn't change the title. I'd just name a chapter "…And the Shark Leaves." Of course, it's a moot point, because Kisame isn't going to die. I have plans for him.

noname: The whole Tsunade/Naruto confrontation will take place next chapter. Naruto hasn't gotten around to mentioning it yet.

Grey: Man, if you can't find any mistakes, I must be getting better, since your critiques are usually spot-on. The "Don't even bother" part was Naruto referring to Kakashi watching him leave. He thought Kakashi was feigning interest, and he didn't want Kakashi to bother acting like he cared in the least when he so obviously didn't.

madnarutofan: Got it in one.

Emma: Itachi x Kisame fic done and done. Fun, but a pain in the ass to write, seeing as it was my first real slash fic.

Orenji Renji: Don't resist the urge. Draw Akatsuki. **waggles fingers** This I command.

esther: They have moved on, but the relationship they now share is probably healthier than the one before. They get to argue without the undertones of inferiority and competition.

ManicReversed: And Naruto even gets his food here.

Lady Saiyajin: Internal dialogue is what elevates the written word above the movie.

vic: Actually, Gaara is emotionally closer to Naruto than Kisame is, but Kisame seems closer because he fills a void that Naruto always felt he was missing. Naruto and Gaara are like brothers; Kisame is Naruto's mentor.

Hibiki54: I tried to make this reader-friendly to those people who don't like yaoi by making the shounen-ai pairings out of the spotlight and not go into detail (though it isn't like I could if I wanted to.) Glad you like this story even though you don't like yaoi.

daflippnay: I doubt Itachi and Sasuke will ever be civilized where the other is concerned. Right now their best is just behaving when the other is in the room.

To all those I didn't respond to… give me a question, and I'll probably answer it. Otherwise I usually don't know what to say.

----

Kakashi watched Naruto run away from him until the blonde shinobi disappeared from his vision and wondered when his life had become an analogy for loss. He knew Naruto's feelings had been hurt by his indifference, but Kakashi couldn't bring himself to care. He knew he should care. He _wanted_ to care, to hug his student and be hugged in return until neither of them could breathe. But Naruto had been dead to him for four years, and the affection had died as well, so thoroughly that Kakashi could barely remember it.

The copy-nin remembered people just fine. Visiting Obito's grave everyday was testament enough to that, and he always bought Rin's favorite cake on her birthday, was always careful to put the proper number of candles. He paid tribute to the Yondaime's memory at least once a week by ordering ramen for lunch, had in fact for the past four years been ordering two bowls instead of just one, though he could never finish the second. People weren't the problem. Emotions were.

Kakashi had made a deal with himself somewhere in the rather nebulous time after quitting the ANBU corps and before reaccepting his jounin commission. It was alright to care, but not after the fact. Kakashi didn't allow himself to grieve, because the living were far more important than the dead. He wouldn't forget them, of course. Kakashi never forgot anything. He just locked away the unimportant things in the corner of his mind and resolved to not look there again until the apocalypse came and only those gone were available to keep him company. On occasion, his gestures of memory to the dead felt somewhat empty, but Kakashi wasn't quite willing to let those dear to him slip away completely. He remembered Naruto. But that was all. Naruto was a memory, and some memories were best forgotten, especially when they returned as nightmares. Naruto was a traitor to Konoha, and that was almost worse than him being dead. For once, Kakashi preferred to not remember at all.

((Goodbye, Naruto.))

And Kakashi turned, and walked away.

He tried to, that is. Unfortunately, before he had gotten two steps, someone grabbed his shoulder, spun him around, and punched him hard enough to lay him flat. Kakashi barely had time to notice who had hit him before being hauled to his feet by his vest and slammed roughly against the wall of the Hokage's tower.

"Kakashi."

Kakashi tried to rub his jaw to assess the damage, but his captor's free hand grabbed his wrist and glared at him fiercely. Kakashi decided that ignoring this particular shinobi wasn't a tactic that would be very effective.

"What do you want, Gai?"

"I do not let your seeming indifference bother me, but you know how your modern attitude affects most people. How you treated your beloved student is completely unforgivable!"

"Gai-"

"You hold your emotions inside of you, and young people cannot tell the difference between truth and a good deception. Your shortest pupil believed your façade, and his spirit has been dampened!"

"Gai-"

"The spirit of youth should be allowed to blossom, my eternal rival, not trod into the dirt like some lowly weed. Your usual apathy is destroying the beautiful relationship between teacher and-"

"Gai, I can't feel my left hand."

"…oh."

The jounin lowered him to the ground and took two steps back, watching as Kakashi was finally able to tell that his jaw was merely bruised, not broken. The glare didn't lessen. If anything, it increased in intensity.

"Kakashi, you must mend this chasm between yourself and young Naruto. This wall of bitterness will grow over time. Best to fix such things before they become irreparable."

"I don't want to fix it. Naruto betrayed Konoha-"

"And what does that have to do with anything?"

Kakashi stared at the green-clad jounin. "Gai, Naruto is a _traitor_."

"We are trying to form an alliance with the Akatsuki organization, yes? Then your student will again fight for Konoha. Besides, what he feels towards this village doesn't affect how he feels towards _you_." Gai thrust a finger into Kakashi's face to illustrate his point. "He loves you, Kakashi, and to purposely hurt one of your loved ones is a sin far more heinous than the one that young man committed."

Kakashi looked off to the side, eyes downcast. He wasn't really in the mood to have an argument with Gai. "When Naruto betrayed Konoha, he betrayed me."

"Unless you deliberately shunned that child, you are not in fact representative of Konoha, my eternal rival. You must repair your relationship. A shinobi's life is far too fleeting to let such a small thing get in the way of a loving bond."

"But-"

"If you are not reunited with young Naruto by sunset, I will hop five-hundred laps on one leg around Konoha while singing our national anthem. And _you_ are joining me. Now then," and Gai placed his hands on his hips in a rather dramatic fashion, "Onward!"

Kakashi sighed. In the background, he could have sworn he heard theme music.

----

There was only one thing Tsunade could be thankful about for this particular patient. There wasn't much blood, and therefore she didn't need to fear freezing up. The stab wound to his abdomen had been cauterized by the same blast that had burned his skin black and gave him an irregular enough heartbeat that one of her assistants had to check every thirty seconds to make sure he was still alive. The little blood there was came whenever the man coughed and the red liquid mixed in with the spit. Internal damage, internal bleeding, and third degree burns all over his body. In all honesty, Tsunade didn't know why he was still alive. A strong will, she supposed. It might enable him to survive long enough for them to get him stabilized. Maybe.

The man had been attractive before this. Tsunade could tell, as experienced with the body's structure as she was. High cheekbones, full lips, hands still delicate despite the calluses. Attractive, but he had been through a rough time, even for a shinobi. In order for the back to be so scarred, it must have been hours between the battle and treatment, and the wounds must have been horrendous. Light scars crisscrossed his wrists in a grisly pattern, by their angle self-inflicted. Maybe not such a strong will after all. As battered as her patient had been before, this new set of injuries would leave their own reminders. If he survived. Of course, every moment that passed increased his chances. He wasn't dead. Not yet.

Tsunade wondered who he was. Not a Leaf shinobi, of this she was certain. His chakra patterns placed him at least at jounin level, and she was familiar with every one of her subordinates at least through chuunin. Not a Cloud, or at least the burns from a lightning jutsu made it unlikely. Same for Mist.

Her fingers ran over a slight irregularity on the back of her patient's neck. Tsunade frowned. It didn't have the texture of a burn. She raised the man's hair out of the way with her other hand to satiate her curiosity. At the sight that beheld her, Tsunade's eyes widened, and suddenly a lot of things made sense.

"Something wrong, Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade glanced up to see one of the medics look at her in worry. She smiled back in reassurance. "No, no. Continue, please. Don't mind me."

The medic turned back to his work, and Tsunade returned to hers, her determination to save this man's life renewed, though now it was not just for the sake of Sasuke's sanity. She had questions that Sasuke was far more likely to answer when something other than his own life was at stake.

----

When Sakura entered the main waiting room of Konoha's south (and now only) hospital, she came across a rather strange scene. Gaara sat quietly in a chair in a corner, looking so young wrapped in his Akatsuki coat that Sakura couldn't help but feel a small amount of compassion for the scarlet-haired shinobi, though she couldn't have said why if pressed. Another startling sight was a rather thick trail of blood led from one door to the nearest bench and then out another entryway, like a dying man had been forced to wait to be treated while he slowly bled to death. Leaning against a wall somewhat close to the trail (but far enough away that Sakura could tell he was not the source) was Sasuke, staring fixatedly at the floor.

"Sasuke-kun...?"

At the sound of her voice, the young man looked up. When his eyes met her own, Sakura felt her breath catch in his throat. Gold pinwheels turned in pitch-black eyes, the only red glowing faintly around the edges. The Sharingan, but it looked… corrupted. Captivated by the change, it took her a moment to notice the charred-away state of her friend's vest, and the similar condition of the skin beneath that had been hidden by the Uchiha's formerly crossed arms.

"Sasuke-kun, you're hurt!" Sasuke's stare didn't change, but Sakura could sense the contempt that brewed beneath the surface. Sakura couldn't help but blush slightly. To state something so obvious…

"Why haven't you gone to see a medic yet? We're in a hospital after all." Best not to mention the eyes just yet. The relative peace in the room seemed too frail, too brittle to risk breaking because of mere curiosity.

The stare continued for a moment longer before Sasuke broke eye contact with her with a snort and resumed his contemplation of the linoleum. Sakura grew uncertain. "That is why you are here, isn't it?"

The dark-haired jounin's response was curt. "My wounds are inconsequential."

((I suppose that would be a no.))

The answer to her next question was one Sakura knew she wouldn't like. If it wasn't Sasuke who needed medical attention, who did? "Then why are you here, Sasuke-kun?"

There was no response, but the Uchiha's eyes darkened before he again looked away, and Sakura felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. Something was very wrong with her teammate.

The tension in the room was rather abruptly broken when one of the many doors slammed open to reveal Naruto, in his grasp a rather large tray of food. Both Sakura and Sasuke turned to stare, while Gaara, unnoticed by everyone else, let out a slow breath and closed his eyes, content in the knowledge that he didn't have to be on guard any longer in the company of these strangers.

Naruto blinked at the incredulous gazes of his former comrades. "What? It's just my lunch."

Considering the other inhabitants of the rest of the room, Sakura felt it her duty to point out the obvious. "It's four o'clock in the afternoon."

"It's a late lunch… Sakura?" The blonde shinobi did a double-take. "What are you doing here?"

"Lee got alcohol poisoning. His stomach is being pumped right now."

"How the hell did fuzzy-eyebrows get alcohol poisoning in the middle of an invasion?"

Naruto didn't know. Sakura didn't know why she thought he would. Naruto wasn't a Konoha-nin; he was an Akatsuki, and what would an Akatsuki know about the fighting style of one Leaf jounin? "Lee has recently taken up the discipline of drunken fist, and the alcohol content of his vodka was higher than the vendor advertised." Sakura didn't really like Lee using that Chinese fighting style; it was all too easy to see a descent into alcoholism, but with the Lotus style mastered, Lee felt it his duty to train in the discipline where he had the most talented, and Sakura didn't have the heart to oppose something her boyfriend so clearly wanted.

Naruto raised one eyebrow. "Sakura-chan, that's kind of weird. No offense."

Sakura-chan? Her former comrade had apparently forgotten their previous quarrel, but Sakura wasn't about to bring it up. Naruto might have overreacted, but it had been her rather thoughtless words that had sparked the argument to begin with. Besides, this felt good; the old banter, the old insults that were so lacking with Kakashi or Sasuke. Who was Sakura to fight it? "You're one to talk, Naruto. After all, you got through the preliminaries of the chuunin exams by farting in Kiba's face."

All gazes again focused on Naruto, who turned bright red on cue. "Sakura-chan, don't embarrass me! Besides, that was four years ago. I was a kid!"

"You aren't now?"

"Sakura-chaaan..."

When another door adjoining to the waiting room opened, Sakura hardly noticed. People came and went all the time in a hospital. She didn't notice, but everyone else did. When Sasuke's eyes focused on something immediately behind her, Sakura couldn't help but look. She blinked at what she saw.

"Hokage-sama? I didn't think I would see you-"

"What is Sakon's condition?" Sasuke didn't even seem to notice he had interrupted her. He pushed away from the wall and past her, making Sakura stumble slightly at the rough contact when she didn't get out of the way fast enough for the Uchiha's tastes. Sakura opened her mouth to yell at him- since when had Sasuke become so rude?- but stopped herself when she saw her teammate's hands were shaking. Blood dripped from his left fist where nails had bit into the skin.

Tsunade stared down at the Uchiha, calmly wiping her hands on a rag. "His condition is stable. Unless something goes horribly wrong, he should make it." With those words, all the stiffness in Sasuke's shoulders drained out, and the young jounin abruptly paled. When he collapsed to his hands and knees like all the strength had gone out of his limbs, Sakura couldn't help but exclaim in worry, "Sasuke-kun-"

"Don't touch me. I'm fine." With slow, labored movements, the Uchiha pushed himself to his feet, but only just made it to a bench before he again collapsed, though rather more gracefully this time around. His eerie, golden eyes faded to their usual black with a sigh. "I'm just… tired. That's all."

The Hokage's tone was cold. "Good thing for you, Sasuke, because I have a few questions I want to ask you."

Sasuke's eyes closed. "Ask away."

"When did you turn your back on Konoha and join Orochimaru?" More than one mouth in the room dropped open in shock, but Tsunade's gaze never wavered. "Take as much time as you like, Sasuke, because neither you nor your subordinate is going anywhere until I get an answer."

----

Sakon was pretty sure he was dead. In fact, he was almost positive on this point. He had stabbed himself in the intestine then promptly been electrocuted less than five minutes later, and it seemed like the proper conclusion to make. He had even said last words, and they couldn't be last if he was going to say anything else at some point in the future (and God, if he did survive, how embarrassing would that be?) Sure, it hadn't been the most eloquent death scene, but one of his lungs hadn't been working too well at the time.

After watching the world fade to black in front of his eyes, the last thing Sakon had felt before he had lost consciousness was a warm liquid dripping onto his face. Since it seemed unlikely to be raining when there weren't any clouds in the sky, Sakon could only assume that Sasuke was either dripping a canteen of water onto his face in an attempt to revive him, or the Uchiha was crying. Taking Sasuke's personality type into account, Sakon was going to go with his first guess, since he was fairly sure the Otogakure heir lacked tear ducts.

Sakon had never really given much thought to the afterlife. His sole contact with religion had been tutoring sessions with Orochimaru on the feasibility of bringing people back to life. Even so, Sakon couldn't help but expect to see a bright light or some such nonsense, but after waiting around for a good ten minutes for something to happen, a creeping suspicion began to rise up from the depths of his mind. Intellectually, he had always known that he hadn't exactly been following the straight and narrow while he served Orochimaru, but Sakon had never felt there would be repercussions. He had died saving someone's life after all; shouldn't that have gotten him redemption or something? Of course, that ploy might have worked better had he granted that particular service upon a soul that wasn't probably going to end up in the pits as well.

"Well, damn. I'm in hell."

Saying it out loud didn't make him feel much better, but a voice behind him staved off the incoming bout of depression as well as anything could.

"Don't be stupid. Of course you're not in hell."

Sakon turned, only to come face to face with himself. Or what he thought was himself until he remembered that he never parted his hair that way. And… well…

"God, I've forgotten how ridiculous I looked in shorts."

His double raised one eyebrow. "That's all you have to say to me after almost four years, little brother?"

Little brother? What the hell- oh fuck. "Ukon?" Sakon felt his voice crack on the second syllable with alarm.

His brother smirked. "It's about time you recognized me."

The tone, the words, the accent… "Ukon, it… it really is you." Sakon took a step towards his brother. "I never thought I'd-"

"Don't come any closer."

Sakon blinked in confusion, but he did stop. "Huh?"

Ukon reached out with one hand and tapped his knuckle on the air in front of him. The 'air' shimmered and made a sound like ringing glass. "The dead cannot touch the living, little brother."

"But I'm dead too."

"No, you're alive."

"I got hit by a fucking lightning bolt. Of course I'm dead! I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

"You happen to be one of the lucky few who gets to see the 'pearly gates' so to speak, but can't go through them." Ukon sighed irritably at his younger brother's blank stare. "You almost died. They managed to get your heartbeat regulated about ten seconds before you actually bit it. Now you're just unconscious." He looked Sakon over critically. "Have you been eating properly?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"You look terrible, and you couldn't have grown an inch since I died. That's what, three, four years?"

"You always knew we were doomed to be short."

"Short is one thing, but you barely made it over five feet. That can't be normal. What has Orochimaru-sama been feeding you?"

"Ukon, if I really am alive, I don't want to spend what little time I have with you arguing about my height."

"Or lack thereof."

Sakon said nothing.

"Sakon… you don't seem very happy to find out you're actually alive."

The younger brother's response was sullen. "What good is life without you?"

"Well, for one thing, I haven't seen that bastard Toyozen around. You still have to kill him."

"From what I've seen of Sasuke-sama, basing your entire life around the murder of one person isn't a good way to stay emotionally healthy."

"True," Ukon agreed. "But it's a start, and it might help to alleviate that childish guilt you have about my death."

Sakon's eyes narrowed. "Childish?"

"Yes, childish. As in only a child would assume responsibility for something out of their control."

Sakon began to feel himself lose his temper. "Out of my control? Are you fucking insane? I'm the one who accepted Toyozen's challenge! If I hadn't, you'd still… be here."

"Yeah, and if lemon trees had apples growing on them, they'd be called apple shrubs."

Sakon blinked at his older brother, his tirade momentarily forgotten. "What?"

"You didn't hear me arguing with you about the fight. I wanted it as bad as you. Neither of us had any way of knowing that Toyozen Yasuo was a complete lunatic." Ukon shrugged. "Death happens. I was just unfortunate enough to have it befall me a little earlier than either of us thought. Just accept the fact that you have no divination skill whatsoever and move on, little brother, though I wouldn't mind if you creamed Toyozen into the ground along the way."

"You know, technically, I'm older than you now."

Ukon rolled his eyes. "Technically, I'm dead and you're an idiot, but you don't hear me arguing semantics. Go back to your life and stop trying to brood. You don't angst well."

Sakon walked towards the invisible wall between the worlds of the living and the dead and pressed his hand against it, making the air spark from the contact. "I'm not going to forget you, if that's what you're asking."

Ukon's eyes softened. "I'm not. Remember me all you like, but it's kind of depressing to have all your memories of me be tainted by my death. Just eat a carrot cake on my birthday or something as a tribute."

Sakon couldn't help but laugh. "We share a birthday and I always eat carrot cake anyway. It's my favorite dessert too, remember?"

Ukon grinned in response, and placed his hand on the barrier opposite his younger brother's. So close, but they had never been further apart. "Flowers on my grave then. That should be enough for you. We of the bodily-challenged need nothing but our memories."

"Ukon…"

"Don't say anything. We never needed words before, so don't use them now. Besides, what is the point of good-bye when it isn't forever?" Sakon watched as his elder brother disappeared, the fading darkness drowning out what else might have been said.

Sakon closed his eyes, and couldn't help but give the farewell he had been denied years before. ((Good-bye, big brother.))

----

Meanwhile…

The silent standoff in the main waiting room of Konoha's southern (only) hospital continued. Sakura froze where she stood at Tsunade's damning words, Sasuke's eyes opened slowly to meet the Hokage's own, and Naruto, for once accurately perceiving the mood of the room, edged over to where Gaara was sitting and whispered, "Where's Itachi?"

Not bothering to look away from the Hokage/Uchiha catfight, Gaara replied absently, "He went with Tsunade's assistant. I think she had a couple questions to ask him about Kisame's medical history."

"Think he'll notice if all hell breaks loose and the Lady Hokage goes berserker on Sasuke's ass?"

"Most likely. I just doubt he will care."

Naruto thought for a moment about Itachi's temperament, then for another moment about the relationship the two Uchiha brothers shared. "Yeah, you're probably right." He made himself comfortable to his partner's left and started munching on an apple. Out of everyone in the room, he was the least surprised by Tsunade's interrogation (for obvious reasons), but he was curious as to how the Hokage had managed to find out. Even so, Naruto made sure to have a kunai ready in his free hand. They might have a tentative treaty with Konoha, but it was Naruto who had convinced Sasuke and Sakon to assist the Leaf to begin with, and if there was one thing punishment detail with Iruka had taught him, it was to clean up his own messes.

Sasuke appraised the slug-sannin with cool reserve for a long moment before deigning to reply. "I haven't been loyal to Konoha since before you arrived."

To the side, Sakura put a hand to her mouth to keep a gasp from escaping. So it was true. Sasuke was a traitor. Like Naruto was. The pink-haired kunoichi had never felt more alone.

But Sasuke wasn't finished. "How did you attain this information?"

Tsunade shrugged. "It wasn't that difficult. The shinobi with Orochimaru's curse seal are rather few in number, and considering that I examine yours every year, I have a pretty good idea of what one looks like. That friend of yours I just finished operating on had a curse seal in the exact same place as you. It seemed unlikely that you would be unaware of such a close comrade possessing such a seal."

The Uchiha's eyes narrowed. "If you were so convinced of my betrayal, why isn't an ANBU squad here to assist in my arrest?"

As everyone watched with bated breath, the Hokage gave an irritated sigh and rubbed the bridge of her nose. When she finally spoke, the words sounded like they had to be dragged forcibly out of her throat. "By the wounds you and your subordinate suffered, it is clear that you were assisting us against the Cloud and Mist invasion. Considering that we are already fighting a war on two fronts, I do not wish to open up a third by executing a high-ranking member of a neutral shinobi village." A slight smirk. "Even one as snotty as you."

Sasuke's lip curled at the insult, but before he could open his mouth to retort, Sakura finally found her voice. "But, Hokage-sama, Otogakure isn't neutral at all! They wiped out nearly half our forces only four years ago-"

"And we haven't even had a minor altercation with them in over two." Tsunade turned to the female chuunin, and for a moment, the sannin's eyes looked very old. "You weren't alive during the Great Wars, Sakura. In those times, enemies could become allies in a matter of hours. During a war, two years of peace is a long time, and if the Akatsuki aren't willing to lend us full military support, we cannot disregard the possible assistance of a village that will soon have enough strength to replace the Sand as one of the five great shinobi powers, no matter who their leader is or what he might have done in the past."

The silence that followed the Hokage's pronouncement was deafening, for all that it lasted less than three seconds. That was the time it took for Naruto to shoot to his feet (spilling ramen and milk everywhere in the process), point a finger at Sasuke, and crow, "Did I call it? Yes I called it! And you used to say I couldn't intuit a dog if it bit me on the face. Eat your words, Sasuke!" (1)

Another silence followed, during which Sasuke rolled his eyes at his former teammate's lack of tact and everyone else stared at Naruto like he had gone insane. Sakura was the one to speak first. "Naruto, what are you talking abou- did you know about this?"

It was then Naruto realized his error. No one knew of his meeting with Sasuke in the woods. "Uh… maybe?"

It was then that the uncomfortable atmosphere was (again) broken (gets broken so much, you have to wonder who keeps fixing it) by a head with thick dark eyebrows and a bowl cut sticking through the door opening, though only long enough to catch the sight of Naruto and smile with a face full of teeth that made a rather dramatic _ping_. While everyone blinked at the sudden interruption, the head disappeared, but the words going on behind the door were enough to keep everyone's attention.

"I have found your estranged student, my beloved rival! It is time for you to mend the chasm of bitterness between your hearts!"

"Gai, I told you, this is a stupid idea-"

"Now go!"

And two seconds later, Naruto found himself with an armful of embarrassed Kakashi, whom Gai had shoved rather roughly through the entryway. After the two shinobi had untangled themselves, Kakashi moved to a comfortable distance and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Eh, sorry to bother you like this…" Finally noticing that the room's atmosphere was already rather tense and somewhat full with Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Gaara and Tsunade already in attendance, Kakashi started to edge towards the door. "I'll leave." He put his hand on the door knob and pulled. It wouldn't open.

"Kakashi, you are not leaving this room until hearts are mended!"

"Gai, I don't think this is exactly a good time-"

"If it was a good time, you'd be late for it! Make up now!"

"But-"

Gai's tone sobered. "Remember the promise I made, Kakashi. And I know as well as you do that your singing voice is terrible. You do not want me to fulfill my promise."

It was then that the fight seemed to go out of the grey-haired jounin. "Singing. Right." He turned back to Naruto. "Hey."

Naruto grinned uncertainly. "Hey."

A moment of uneasy quiet.

"Nice weather we're having."

The voice came again from behind the door. "That isn't the way to make up, my eternal rival!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "What do you want me to do? Hug him?"

"That would be a start!"

"That was a joke, Gai."

Even from behind the door, everyone could sense Gai's disapproving frown. "I don't joke, Kakashi."

"Can't I just apologize?"

"If that's all your modern attitude can take."

Kakashi let out a sigh, and took a step towards his former student. They stared at each other for a long while, before Kakashi seemed to come to an internal decision. He placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "You know, you can still call me Kakashi-sensei, if you want. I still probably have a lot to teach you."

For a moment, Naruto said nothing. Then he nodded. When he spoke, the blonde Akatsuki's voice was unsteady. "I'd… I'd like that, Kakashi-sensei." A sudden mischievous grin. "You know, you never did get around to teaching me Chidori…"

From his position behind Naruto, Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Dobe, that technique can only be used to its full potential by possessors of the Sharingan."

"I'd settle for any badass technique that you don't know. You monopolized too much of Kakashi-sensei's time when we were genin for me to learn anything good."

"You've been trained by my _brother_ for the past four years. I think we've come out even."

"You've had Orochimaru for a mentor! Besides, Itachi's never taught me shit."

"You expect me to believe-"

"Hokage-sama," a voice came from behind the door of the operation room. Tsunade blinked, having been rather too engrossed in the drama enfolding before her to remember much of anything else.

"Yes? What is it?"

"The patient is awake."

(1) Refer to Chapter 14, where Naruto predicted an alliance forming between the Sound and the Leaf.


	21. Waking Up & Then Regretting It

Author's Note: Yeah, I know it's been a while. And sad to say, the next chapter is going to take even longer, because I'm going to be out of the country for the next month and not have access to the internet (or even a word processor). And this whole story has turned me into a liar. I promised earlier that I would finish this before summer, but the only way that would happen is if I cut this off now. Not likely.

Ouatic-7: Thank you for pointing out the errors. I've made sure to correct them.

Sarehptar: Gai is surprisingly easy to write, at least when he isn't acting serious as he does occasionally.

ManicReversed: There is a tiny bit of Itachi here, but there will be a lot more of him next chapter.

Hayaku: Erm, yeah. I forgot about Kakashi creating the Chidori before receiving Obito's Sharingan. Modified Sasuke's statement a bit to make it fit better in canon.

Sailor Comet: Kisame is here, a little. And a ton more next chapter, when he chews out Naruto for breaking the Raijin. Glad you liked Gai. He's always been one of my favorite characters, but I haven't had the chance to write him before now.

Jenzy: Keeping the relationships canon was less of a genre choice and more because it is easier to keep everyone in character when they aren't lusting after each other. I mean, I _have_ written Itachi/Kisame, but it's difficult as all hell. Took me two weeks to write less than 3,000 words. And besides, the only partnership pairing that has any romance potential at all is Sasuke/Sakon, but I think I effectively kill any chance of that with this chapter. Hopefully. Because as they are now, it would be just_ wrong_.

Eri: For a story, I've found it's way better to keep the characters interesting than the story interesting. The plot may be the most original and fantastic thing ever, but if the characters are boring or OOC, who cares? And oddly enough, this started out as a one-shot. I wrote the second chapter three months after the first on a whim.

noname: It isn't Itachi who is going to beat the crap out of Naruto, though Tsunade might.

Lacerta3: Villains tend to have less character development than the heroes, which gives me a lot more leeway in writing them.

Kigennaiteiru: Naruto knows how to do the summoning technique, but not only is he not on particularly good terms with Gamabunta, Naruto wanted everyone to think he was dead, and having a toad summon tell Jiraiya that he wasn't would have made things a lot more complicated, so Naruto doesn't use the summoning technique anymore.

Patty: I'm still trying to figure out how Sasuke's going to get his satisfaction, or if he is at all. It does breed an interesting dilemma, since now there is more than his own lack of strength keeping Sasuke from avenging his clan.

agent spielplatz: Yeah… I'm not too great at writing summaries, but my original was way, way worse. Glad you like this though. "Fox and Shark" has evolved in so many weird and strange ways that it in no way resembles my original vision of it. For instance, originally Sakon wasn't going to be a character in this at all, and Sasuke wasn't going to be a main one. Funny how things turned out.

Sailor Comet: Here's a bit of Kisame to whet your appetite, though sadly there isn't much. There will be more soon (and Kimimaro will finally show up from when he left Otogakure in chapter 18. Taking a while, isn't he?)

Princess Katana: Considering I don't write Kakashi much and Gai not at all, I like the way their interaction turned out too.

Grey: You know my opinion on your critiques.

me: Gai is himself, as in he tends to take over every scene he's in. He'll be in another with Sakura next chapter. And I think the relationship Sakon and Ukon share in canon is one of the more interesting ones. After I saw their fight in the anime, I momentarily regretted killing Ukon off, but the sad truth is that it would be a lot more difficult to develop Sakon's character when he could rely on his brother as an emotional crutch. Ukon might show up in one more scene, but it's debatable. His purpose has mostly been fulfilled.

Saria19: Kisame has been unconscious. Itachi has been watching over him. Gai is love. I don't know why more people don't like him. He's one of the few characters in "Naruto" whose integrity is never in question, and a painfully honest, yet not at all naïve character is quite refreshing from the usual angsty fare.

fight4foo: After much deliberation, I eventually decided I liked "Blind Eyes" despite how painfully difficult it was to write. Romance isn't my usual genre, but it's good to branch out.

madnarutofan: What I've always loved about this series is that there are both serious and comedic elements, both of which are written well, so that's what I'm trying to recreate here.

magical-flyingdragon: The problem with many Sasuke/Naruto fics is the basis of their friendship in canon is their rivalry. When they become lovers, it's difficult to translate that realistically. And no, Kisame's not dead. I purposefully kept his recovery out of the limelight because unlike with Sasuke and Sakon, the partnership between the two elder Akatsuki is hardly confused, and Kisame's near death experience isn't a turning point in Itachi and Kisame's relationship. I skirted on the edge of sappy for the Kakashi/Naruto meeting, but tried to avoid full on fluff, and I think it turned out okay.

----

At the medic-nin's words, Sasuke was on his feet and at the door before Naruto had even registered the meaning of what had been said, but it was there that the Uchiha paused, and turned to look at Tsunade, his eyes narrowed in a habitual glare. "Was he supposed to wake up this soon?"

More in response to her assistant than the Sharingan user, Tsunade hissed venomously through her teeth, an irritated frown creasing her forehead and giving weight to her normally youthful face. "The amount of sedatives we gave him was supposed to keep him out for another six hours. Does he have some sort of augmented metabolism you conveniently forgot to mention, Sasuke, or is he just that stubborn?"

Sasuke shook his head, though whether it was a refusal to answer or a negation of both given possibilities, Naruto didn't know. And he didn't care. The Uchiha was a bastard at the best of times, and acting unnecessarily obstinate over nothing wasn't unfamiliar behavior, even after as long as it had been for the two of them. "Hey, Sasuke. Just a second." Naruto walked over to stand beside his former teammate. "I'm coming in with you."

The glare Sasuke sent the blond Akatsuki was anything but habitual. It was more like outright hostile. "I don't want your false sympathy, Naruto."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Why the hell would I feel sympathetic for _you_? You only got a little beat up. I just want to make sure you don't act like a jackass when Sakon isn't even lucid enough to argue with you." At the Uchiha's blank look, Naruto gave a dramatic sigh. "I met with Sakon before, remember? After you ditched us to go off and play lone warrior, we had to figure out each other's fighting styles in like, five seconds. We were only together for about an hour, but he was sure a hell of a lot more pleasant than you."

For a moment, the Sound-nin heir and the Akatsuki elite met each other glare for glare, until Sasuke conceded his defeat with an uninterested snort. "Whatever."

Tsunade rubbed the bridge of her nose. "If you two brats are quite done bickering, I will allow you to accompany me to visit the patient for a few minutes if you promise to not say anything upsetting. I don't need you ruining my work with your childishness."

For a moment, when the Uchiha turned to stare at the Godaime with an expression of incredulous fury, the corrupted Sharingan flickered. " 'Allow?'"

The Hokage was completely unimpressed. "Yes, allow. My village, my hospital, my patient who I have poured my chakra into for the past two hours. Also, please keep in mind, Sasuke, that you are not currently under ANBU guard because of my whim alone. Don't give me reason to regret my decision."

"I wasn't planning on it."

After receiving the Uchiha's unresisting (though flat) acquiescence, Tsunade visibly relaxed. "Good. Come on, then." She opened the door to the operation room, Sasuke and Naruto right behind her. The door clicked shut, leaving Sakura, Kakashi and Gaara in an uncomfortable quiet.

Sakura, who by far of the three liked silence the least, was the first to break it. "I think it's time I went to see how Lee's doing." She left, presumably in search of her boyfriend. Kakashi waved her off but didn't move to follow, instead choosing a door at random and wandering off for reasons no one else could understand or would particularly want to. Gaara remained where he was, the sand shifting around his feet.

----

Zetsu was really beginning to regret inviting Sen to join the Akatsuki. Sure the boy was his nephew (though if it weren't for the green hair no one would have been able to tell; stupid recessive genes), and very talented (lack of any substantial portion of their family's bloodline limit notwithstanding), but it also meant that Zetsu had made himself vulnerable. It was precisely to avoid this problem that the former Grass-nin had refused a partner and summarily been kicked out of the elite, though not the Akatsuki entirely, but still he found himself in this position. Not that Sen was weak; he wasn't. And his bear of a partner was enough to deter most who might try to get to the Akatsuki council member through his sister's son. No, it wasn't Sen's well-being that Zetsu worried about. It was his own tenuous hold on his reputation. It was already difficult to be taken seriously when a distant ancestor had decided it was a good idea to cross his DNA with a plant, cannibalistic tendencies or no (though Zetsu occasionally wondered if eating a salad didn't qualify just as well) but when you gave into your young nephew's demands at the drop of a hat, people tended to snicker behind your back. Why, if it wasn't for the rampant schizophrenia, he wouldn't be able to scare the shit out of anyone anymore.

But this time, Zetsu had mostly decided (only mostly, of course. While his particular mental disorder made him delightfully unpredictable, it also meant that he could never make himself fully commit to something, because there was nothing he liked more than to disagree with himself) it was time to lay down the law. This was one request that Zetsu would not grant Sen, even if the boy was his only living relation, even if he had given Zetsu seeds for several of the rarer herbs from Kirogakure for his last birthday, even if-

"Please, Uncle?"

Ah shit. He was using the kicked puppy look again. But no, Zetsu had to remain firm. Sen was eighteen, and it was about time he-

"I just want to make sure Naruto-kun and Gaara-kun are all right. I think something bad has happened in Konoha."

Eighteen, and as manipulative as hell. Sen had received almost none of his mother's family's ability to sense things beyond normal human perception, but occasionally there were glimpses. So either Sen was lying to get his uncle to do what he wanted, or his abilities were starting to mature.

It shouldn't have mattered. It really shouldn't have. But having spoiled his nephew since day one, some habits were just too deeply ingrained to give up that easily. And it was so rare to see Sen use his natural talent to deceive with such obvious intent, both sides of Zetsu's personality were for once united.

((Well, maybe just this once…))

"So you wish me to search out the jinchuuriki?"

Sen nodded earnestly. Zetsu wondered how someone who had killed so many people in cold blood could have such an innocent face. If it was genetics, it had to have come from the boy's father's side. The closest Zetsu was sure he had ever come to looking innocent was thoroughly confused. "Very well, nephew."

Zetsu didn't know where in his long ancestry the ability of farsight had been spawned, but his best guess was at least four generations back but after the plant-happy ancestor of some two hundred years ago. More than one person had told him that his family's bloodline limit in many ways greatly resembled the Hyuuga's Byakuugan, but after some research Zetsu had decided that this likeness was merely coincidence and the two bloodlines were in no way related. For one thing, in comparison to farsight, the Byakuugan's range was pitiful, barely extending to a kilometer with the strongest and most highly trained members of the pale-eyed clan, whereas the bloodline of Zetsu's family could easily amplify to fifty times that, though lacking the ability to discern chakra points. Zetsu's sensing territory was about eighty kilometers, but he had the kekkei genkai in an unusually large supply. Therefore, Konoha was (just barely) within his abilities to discern.

Even with the two jinchuuriki's distinctly odd chakra signatures, it took him a few minutes to find them. Though his progress was expedited by their close proximity to each other, Zetsu knew neither of the demon-possessed shinobi well. Council members as a rule mostly governed the rank-and-file (if such a term could be applied to a group of ninja consisting of jounin and up) of the Akatsuki and left the elite mostly to their own devices except to hand out high-class missions once in a while. He was only on vague speaking terms with Itachi and Kisame and not at all with the two youngest (and newest) members of the Nine. Every time that particular pair was summoned to a council meeting, Zetsu was left with the distinct impression that the Kyuubi child found him creepy. While this was normally to be expected, Zetsu couldn't help but find this attitude a bit hypocritical when found in one who had personally adopted Kisame as his mentor. Both Gaara and Naruto were unaware of the familial connection between Zetsu and Sen, which was really just as well. Gaara in particular, with his weekly meditation sessions with Sen in the woods near Kaizen, was far too close to his nephew for comfort.

While Zetsu left half of his attention to mooning over his sister's son's choice of friends, his other half had found the jinchuuriki. After examining them for a few moments, he let the farsight fade and again focused his eyes on his nephew. "Gaara is sitting within the waiting area of one of Konoha's hospitals. Naruto is in the room next door. Both are unharmed, though Naruto appears somewhat perplexed by something."

Even though he was finished, Sen didn't move. Zetsu was hard put to restrain a sigh. "If there isn't anything else…"

Sen shook his head, smiling brightly. "That's it, I think. Thank you, Uncle. It is reassuring to find out Naruto-kun and Gaara-kun are unhurt. I suppose my worries are unfounded." After a quick bow that was completely ruined by Sen's lack of anything approaching sobriety, the younger former Grass-nin disappeared quietly back into the surrounding undergrowth. Zetsu returned to his meditation. Even with his conscience troubling him slightly, it wasn't his fault that his nephew had regulated his inquiry to such narrow specifics. The two youngest elite were indeed physically unharmed, but Konoha was a wreck. Perhaps Sen hadn't inherited as little of the farsight as originally thought.

----

When Sakon opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Sasuke. As there had been a gap of several minutes between the nurse announcing his return to consciousness and the Uchiha entering the room, this may seem rather contradictory, but it was during those minutes that Sakon tried to convince himself that he couldn't possibly be as tired as he felt, and the encroaching blindness that had overtaken him during his 'death' had been purely temporary. And it really would be such a waste to ruin his hopes by prying open his eyelids and finding out that he couldn't, in fact, see. So in the end, Sakon knew it was for the best that he just lay in this bed (contemplating how he had gotten into such a position made his head hurt, which implied either a concussion or heavy drugs) quietly and hope that Ukon had either been horribly wrong or lying. As both occurrences had been known to happen more than once, he could hope for that as well as twenty-twenty vision. The space between his eyes was throbbing like a bitch, and just then Sakon couldn't think of any reason _why_ he would want to be alive. Ukon could still be wrong. This whole situation was sure beginning to feel like his personal version of hell.

"Sakon, I know you're awake. Open your eyes or I'm going to pry them open for you."

Sasuke was even here. Now all he needed was Yasuo and a shitload of rain to complete this crappy version of the inferno. Sakon had to admit to himself that he didn't feel quite as pain-wracked as he had back during what he had personally deemed The Suckiest Day of His Life, but there was a certain dullness to his limbs that gave credence to the drugging theory. Meaning he would probably be screaming in agony when said drugs wore off.

What was so wonderful about life, again?

Someone was moving to stand by his side. Even with one eardrum still cracked, it was easy enough to tell by the tread who it was. "Sakon-"

It was at that point that Sakon opened his eyes. While it was somewhat reassuring that though it took a few moments, his pupils still possessed the ability to contract and therefore focus, what they chose to focus on first was Sasuke. It perhaps wasn't entirely surprising that the first thing that came out of his mouth lacked both consideration and editing. "Oh God, it is you." Sakon considered the implications of this for a few moments, than completed his line of thought succinctly. "Fuck." He had survived, and worse, so had Sasuke. Meaning he had given a death speech and his body hadn't even had the good grace to _die_. "Fuck!"

Definitely drugged. Sedatives tended to make him decidedly less tactful.

The Sound heir appeared at a crossroads, the paths before him being confused, angry, or simply amused. In an unusual display of restraint, he decided on a combination of the first and the last. "Were you expecting someone else?"

Sakon ignored the question. "Why am I still alive? Why are _you _still alive, for that matter? I thought I sensed that Cloud ANBU die, but I wasn't in such great shape at the time and last I checked, you were getting your ass kicked. Where the hell are we, anyway? And-" Pulling himself up on his elbows not only made Sakon feel like he was less of a disadvantage, but also gave him a better view of the room, though whether this was a good thing could only be left up to interpretation. It wasn't the sight of Naruto that quieted him, but of the blonde woman sitting next to him. Sakon recognized her. He felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. "Oh _fuck_."

The Godaime grinned and turned to Sasuke. "At least one of you Sound-nin treats this situation with the proper gravity." Sasuke snorted. Sakon buried his face in his (heavily bandaged) hands.

"Orochimaru-sama's going to kill me."

The Uchiha looked confused. "Why?"

"Why? _Why_? His heir was found out while I was unconscious. Now I'm going to be thrown in an interrogation chamber while _you _are traded back to Orochimaru-sama for some ridiculously valuable information or something _else _we can't afford to give up and-" Sakon finally noticed how much the Hokage's eyes lit up on _heir_, and realized his blunder. "Damn it."

Naruto, who until then had watched their interaction in complete silence, chose that moment to grin in a companionable manner and slap Sakon on the back, making the Sound-nin wince, though more at the expected agony that usually came with such an action and less from actual pain. "Don't worry. The Lady Hokage has something else in mind. Konoha got completely trashed and she wants to open up negotiations with Otogakure."

Sakon thought about this possibility for several seconds. Then he thought about Orochimaru's likely reaction for several seconds more.

When her patient's shoulders began to shake and all the blood drained from his face, Tsunade decided it was time to leave. "Okay, time's up, boys. I think you've seen enough of your friend here for today." Both Sasuke and Naruto opened their mouths to argue, but the beginning of a hysterical laugh emanating from somewhere deep within Sakon's chest deterred any objections. They left quietly. Tsunade moved to follow, but not before giving some instructions to the attending medic. "Sedate him, and for God's sake use a heavier dosage this time."

----

Outside what had been the operation room but was now a recovery room (all the equipment had been removed except the heart monitor), Naruto stared at the door. Then he stared at Sasuke. "Is he normally like that and I got the wrong impression before, or is it the drugs?"

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose.

((Trying to remain inoffensive for five minutes must have been an awful trial)) Naruto thought, somewhat uncharitably. Even if it was true.

"I've never seen Sakon so easily… upset. Or talkative. He is usually far more subdued. How you saw him earlier isn't a good indication of his usual behavior either. When you first met him, he was rather upset at me about something and was trying to get back at me by acting unpleasant."

"Funny. I found his unpleasant to be a way more congenial person than you ever were, even on a good day."

Sometimes it seemed like Sasuke had only two expressions that came in various degrees. Amused (usually at someone else's expense) and irritated/angry. Alright, maybe that made three, but angry was really just irritated set on high. His default expression for the hour was irritated, on medium levels. "Are you just aggravating by nature or is it something you strive for, dead last?"

Naruto grinned, happy he had finally gotten a rise out of his former teammate. "Oh, I have to work at it regularly. If I don't, sometimes people actually find me tolerable, which is absolutely the _worst_ thing for my reputation."

"You mean as Naruto the Annoying?"

"Exactly! With Itachi and Gaara as company, I'll never be the creepiest of the group, so I had to find my niche somewhere."

Gaara glanced up from his seat in the corner.

"No offense, Gaara."

The green eyes flickered down and continued their perusal of the floor where they had left off.

"Anyway, that whole thing was pretty anticlimactic. I thought you two would hug or something, but Sakon didn't even seem happy to see you."

Sasuke smirked. "He rarely is. We don't get along."

Naruto shot the Uchiha a quizzical look. "But you care for him."

"We've been over this already. You don't have to like someone to care for them. I don't wish to see Sakon die; that doesn't mean we regularly bond over a romance movie and popcorn. He doesn't even make for a proper rival as you did, despite your occasional idiocy. He is forced to be subordinate to me by Orochimaru's command and isn't strong enough to really challenge me in a fight. And I find arguments with him tiring."

Naruto couldn't help but find Sasuke's line of reasoning somewhat beyond him. "So Sakon is what to you, exactly?"

"Someone I can't get rid of who occasionally manages to be useful with his experience in seal jutsus and terrible situations but is sullen and bitter the rest of the time."

"So he's basically a smarter, weaker version of you without an avenger complex. No wonder you guys fight all the time."

Before Sasuke could think of an appropriate retort, a wave of weariness hit him that couldn't be denied. He rubbed at his temples and willed his eyes to stay open. "Naruto, please shut up, if you think you could manage it. I'm going home. You can irritate me tomorrow, if you still feel the need."

It could only be attributed to Naruto's newfound well of perceptiveness that he didn't press the issue, but only nodded and went to sit beside Gaara. Sasuke momentarily gave into his weakness and leaned against the recovery room door. He couldn't help but give a start when a person addressed him from the other side.

"Go back to your apartment if you wish, Sasuke, but don't leave Konoha."

At Tsunade's words, Sasuke's first thought was of Sakon. He could hear the unspoken threat in the Godaime's words, and would have felt insulted by it if he hadn't known that the Hokage was never unnecessarily malicious. "I'll return in the morning. Don't move him."

Not in the mood to be either courteous or particularly graceful, Sasuke chose the nearest window as his exit instead of one of the doors. He would be back tomorrow, of course; it wouldn't do for the Godaime to get the wrong idea and send a few ANBU squads after him or something else equally tedious to deal with. He tried not to think too much about Tsunade's impromptu speech regarding a possible alliance between their villages; some things were just too complicated to think about when completely exhausted.

----

It was about half an hour later and in the next wing over that Kisame regained consciousness to find a needle stuck in his arm, covered in several hundred stitches and with Itachi sitting next to him, soaked in blood. This image was so incongruous with how the Uchiha usually looked that Kisame had to blink a few times to convince himself that he wasn't hallucinating and yes, this was in fact reality. Even if reality didn't ordinarily have the most powerful member of the Akatski dripping red stains onto the carpet. "Itachi-san?"

Itachi startled out of his half-drowse abruptly and without ceremony. "Kisame."

The Uchiha didn't move with the usual care of one who was wounded, but the blood had to have come from somewhere. "Are you hurt?"

"The blood is yours."

For a moment, Kisame could only stare incredulously at his partner. "All of it?"

"Yes."

"How much did I lose?"

"Shizune-san estimates about two liters. A blood transfusion was required."

Which explained the light-headedness, Kisame supposed. "Kano is dead."

"Yes."

Kisame allowed himself a moment of relief, but it was fleeting in the face of a bigger concern. "And the Samehada?"

Itachi glanced to Kisame's right. Following the Uchiha's line of sight, Kisame finally allowed himself to relax when he saw his sword, a dark, rusty red in places where the blood had dried but in one piece regardless, sheathed and leaning against the wall next to him. Then something occurred to him. "Itachi-san, have you seen Naruto around?"

"He is unharmed."

Somewhat surprised that the younger Akatsuki had managed to keep himself from acquiring the usual plethora of wounds, Kisame couldn't help but feel a little pleased. "Well, that's good then. But, Itachi-san, I think it's time you took a shower."

His partner raised an eyebrow at the non sequitor. "That's what you're concerned about?"

Kisame grinned. "Well, everything else seems to be taken care of. And no offense, Itachi-san, but you look terrible.

----

Two men sat in a darkened room. While one crouched quietly on the raised stairway, polishing his oversized katana, the other, garbed in the traditional robes of a shinobi lord, was systematically grinding the scroll in his hands to a very fine dust. After a few minutes of this, the silent watcher glanced up from his task with a wide-eyed, cautious concern.

"You seem distressed. Is something troubling you, Raikage-sama?"

"You know very well what is _troubling _me. Our whole plan was a failure and my brother is dead. And stop that submissive act around me, Roka. We have known each other far too long for me to believe in your masks anymore."

At Takamura Ichiro's words, Roka's meek, downcast eyes went flat. His tone had similarly lost its frightened tremble when next he spoke. "Our objectives were only to make Konoha aware of us and to get rid of Shimagawa, both of which were accomplished. The death of Kenji-kun was unexpected, but I definitely considered it a possibility considering his constant inability to gauge the strength of his opponents. The fool probably started toying with some jounin playing possum and was stabbed in the back."

Ichiro's eyes narrowed. "Be careful with your words, Roka. You will not speak ill of the dead."

Roka didn't appear bothered. "You wanted me to speak frankly, and you won't retract that order now. The death toll of your village and mine was high, but we also took out large numbers of the Leaf-nin and I hear that Shimagawa managed to badly injure Kisame-kun. And with my beloved, belated Mizukage out of the picture, Suzu will inevitably take up the Water Shadow mantle, and he is far easier to manipulate."

"I don't care if _your_ plans succeeded, or about the power plays and intrigue you Mist-nin seem so fond of. This war is nothing but a waste of resources. The Leaf and Akatsuki being entirely focused on our villages may suit your purposes, but if they fully unite their forces, they could take the Mist and Cloud down one at a time and no one could do anything to stop them. What will happen to all of your lauded plans then, Roka, without the cover of being one of the Seven Angels of Shinobi Katana Jutsu to protect you?"

The no-dachi wielder shrugged. "Konoha has become timid in recent years. Their numbers have been wittled down far too drastically for them to take a chance by taking the offensive. The Akatsuki lack this fear, but their outlook is mercenary and they will not invade if it doesn't directly benefit them, and it won't as long as we do not go near Kaizen or threaten their sources of income. We needn't fear retaliation."

Ichiro snorted. "As you say."

Roka smiled. "My faults may be many, Ichiro-kun, but you know I would never make such a gamble if I wasn't sure of the outcome."

For a few minutes, neither of the shinobi spoke, and the Mist-nin went back to his polishing while the elder Takamura stared at the half-destroyed scroll grasped between his fingers. When the Raikage finally responded, it wasn't a reply to the no-dachi wielder's words. "I want the person who killed my brother dead."

"That might be difficult. We have no way of telling who ended Kenji-kun's life, especially seeing as they burned the body."

The Raikage's teeth gritted at the Mist-nin's last words, but continued on regardless. "The technique used was a very specific one. A very famous one. The Raikiri."

At that, Roka's eyes met Ichiro's with a warning. "You cannot honestly expect to kill either the younger Uchiha or the Copy-nin without repercussions. It's foolhardy. You know as well as I do that Kenji-kun provoked that fight. There is no advantage in further antagonizing the Leaf."

"This isn't about what _advantage_ we may gleam in this war of yours that isn't really a war."

After a moment, Roka stood, and carefully sheathed his sword. With equal care but with far greater speed, he took the three steps between himself and the Raikage's seat in something less than one second and wrapped one hand around Ichiro's throat. The elder Takamura's eyes widened, but all his initial struggles yielded were his much stronger captor slowly tightening his grip. After a few moments, the Raikage's futile attempts to lessen the chokehold ceased as the lack of air began to take its toll. Roka smiled. "That's better. Now then, Ichiro-kun, please listen to me carefully. You knew as well as I did the possibilities of this shadow war. It could have easily gone much worse. However, the one thing you promised me was that all actions would be carried out with our goal in mind. Revenge is not in line with that goal. Therefore, it will not happen. Your brother's killer will not be punished. We will continue with our original plan. Understand?"

The Raikage glared at him, but nodded. He didn't allow himself to gasp for breath when the no-dachi wielder withdrew, but the elder Takamura still had to take a few moments to regain his self-composure before speaking. "Roka, I'd appreciate it if you'd leave now."

Roka smiled softly, making Ichiro instinctively reach for a weapon before he remembered himself. The Mist-nin was at his most dangerous when he seemed least offensive, and it made the hair on the back of the Raikage's neck rise. "I suppose I should. You really aren't much good to talk to when you are worked up like this, Ichiro-kun. I'll be back tomorrow after I assure Suzu of my loyalties. We still need to discuss the next phase of our plan."

The guards didn't even blink when the no-dachi wielder walked past them, though they hadn't noticed his entrance. The presence of that particular member of the Seven was a far too common one for anyone to take care as to his comings and goings. It was only after Roka's chakra signature went beyond the range of Ichiro's ability to sense did the elder Takamura allow himself to touch the bruises already forming on his throat. He was disgusted to find himself shaking, but it was almost to be expected. Roka's temperament was even enough, but his actions were nearly impossible to predict.

((So Roka forbids me avenge my brother.)) One hand clenched, and the partially disintegrated scroll finally snapped in two. ((Sometimes I really hate that man.))


	22. OC Profiles and Miscellaneous Info

Author's Note: Don't kill me. I've sent the finished Chapter 22 to my betas. This is just what I'm working on while I wait, as opposed to finishing up the last chapter of "Coming to an Understanding." A couple of readers have written about how hard it is to keep all the original characters in this story separate, so I am putting up a comprehensive guide that details every single one. This will be updated as new information is revealed about the characters, so check back periodically. Tell me if you think I missed anything.

_**Akatsuki**_

**Name:** Hirayama Reiko

**Age (current): **56

**Gender: **Female

**Former Affiliation: **Stone Village

**Rank: **Akatsuki Commander

**Status:** Kaizen Village

**Living Relation(s): **Hirayama Mamoru (younger brother), Tsuchikage

**Greatest Ambition: **To have a threesome with Kabuto and Orochimaru

**Likes: **Knowing things, making people uncomfortable

**First Appearance:** Chapter 4

**Bio: **A daughter of one of the most prestigious clans of Stone Village, Reiko was disregarded from the line of succession because she was female. Not particularly liking her home town's foreign policy or the status of women in Iwagakure, as soon as she achieved the rank of jounin Reiko left Stone Village and traveled around the world, in the process gaining an impressive repertoire of jutsu as well as making a number of high-placed acquaintances that would later serve to persuade her colleagues to elect her as Akatsuki Commander. Extremely manipulative, she seems to take pleasure in forcing people to do things they hate, which accounts for the numerous times Itachi has attempted to assassinate her in a fit of rage.

**-**

**Name: **Matsushita Sen

**Age (current): **18

**Gender: **Male

**Former Affiliation: **Grass Village

**Rank: **Akatsuki Active

**Partner: **Iwamori Michio

**Status: **Kaizen Village

**Living Relation(s): **Zetsu (uncle), Akatsuki Council Member

**Likes: **Salads, meditating in the woods with Gaara

**First Appearance:** Chapter 9

**Bio: **Considered rather timid by the majority of his comrades because of his tendency to avoid confrontation, Sen is really anything but. He is the son of one of the most ancient bloodlines of Grass, but inherited little of his family's kekkei genkai. Despite this shortcoming, he is an accomplished shinobi, who only decided to leave the Grass and become a missing-nin so he could work with his uncle. Despite Sen's generally straight-forward nature, he does possess a manipulative streak, which comes into play whenever he wants something that can't be gained by force.

**-**

**Name: **Iwamori Michio

**Age (current): **26

**Gender: **Male

**Former Affiliation: **Stone Village

**Rank: **Akatsuki Active

**Partner: **Matsushita Sen

**Status: **Kaizen Village

**Likes: **Good food, good alcohol, boxing

**First Appearance: **Chapter 9

**Bio: **Michio left Iwagakure after an affair with a daimyo's daughter. He has taken the position of elder brother in his relationship with his partner, and though normally even-tempered, the one thing Michio takes offense to is a threat to Sen, and it is then that the former Stone-nin shows his extremely violent temper.

**-**

**Name: **Muraguchi Kado

**Age (at time of death 1 year ago): **27

**Gender: **Male

**Former Affiliation: **Rain Village

**Rank: **Akatsuki Elite

**Partner: **Fujiwara Ayame

**Status: **Deceased (ambushed by Rain hunter-nin)

**Likes: **Peace and quiet, storms

**First Appearance (mentioned): **Chapter 9

**Bio: **A stoic shinobi from Rain Village, his death left a vacancy among the nine.

**-**

**Name: **Fujiwara Ayame

**Age (at time of death 1 year ago): **25

**Gender: **Female

**Former Affiliation: **Grass Village

**Rank: **Akatsuki Elite

**Partner: **Muraguchi Kado

**Status: **Deceased (suicide)

**Likes: **Flowers, shopping, very sharp scythes

**First Appearance (mentioned): **Chapter 9

**Bio: **A cheerful, talkative shinobi from Grass village, her suicide left a vacancy among the nine.

**-**

**Name: **Tsukioki Yukio

**Age (current): **24

**Gender: **Male

**Former Affiliation: **Cloud Village

**Rank: **Pharmaceutical Specialist

**Status: **Kaizen Village

**Likes:** Beautiful people, stimulants, green tea

**First Appearance: **Chapter 9

**Bio: **Yukio is the main drug supplier of the Akatsuki, but he isn't above selling recreational drugs on the side. Widely regarded as the biggest flirt of the Akatsuki, Yukio gained Kisame's eternal enmity when he slipped some hallucinogenic drugs into the former Mist-nin's tea at a karaoke party. Unbeknownst to Kisame, Yukio had done it on Hirayama Reiko's orders, but Yukio doesn't mind taking the blame, and in fact later aggravated the situation by purposefully getting Kisame's protégé, Uzumaki Naruto, addicted to sleeping pills just to get a rise out of Kisame.

**-**

**Name: **Toyozen Yasuo

**Age (current): **30

**Gender: **Male

**Former Affiliation: **Cloud Village

**Rank: **Akatsuki Elite

**Partner: **Gin

**Status: **Unknown

**Likes: **Hurting people, blood, poisonous plants

**First Appearance (mentioned): **Chapter 10

**Bio: **Heavily scarred from some past incident, Yasuo has a preoccupation with breaking beautiful things. This obsession has made him unstable, and only his partner has any modicum of control over him.

**-**

**Name: **Gin

**Age (current): **?

**Gender: **?

**Former Affiliation: **?

**Rank: **Akatsuki Elite

**Partner: **Toyozen Yasuo

**Status: **Unknown

**Likes: **Cats, soba

**First Appearance (mentioned by name): **Chapter 17

**Bio: **Gin presumably played a part in the death of Ukon, one of Orochimaru's bodyguards. Nothing else is known about this Akatsuki elite.

_**Stone Village**_

**Name: **Hirayama Mamoru

**Age (current): **50

**Gender: **Male

**Rank: **Tsuchikage

**Status: **Stone Village

**Living Relations: **Hirayama Reiko (older sister), Akatsuki Commander

**Likes: **Fried food, stone sculpture

**First Appearance: **Chapter 16

**Bio: **The younger brother of Hirayama Reiko, Mamoru is obese, arrogant, and worst of all, married.

_**Mist Village**_

**Name: **Shimagawa Kano

**Age (at time of death): **34

**Gender: **Male

**Rank: **Mizukage, Angel of Shinobi Katana Jutsu

**Weapon(s) of Choice: **Twin Wakizashi (short swords)

**Status: **Deceased (ripped apart by Hoshigaki Kisame's Samehada)

**Likes: **Fishing

**First Appearance: **Chapter 18

**Bio: **Kisame's former teacher, Kano felt threatened by his student's talent and they parted as enemies after Kano badly wounded Kisame in what was supposed to be a friendly spar. He assassinated his rival to the position of Mizukage, but his triumph was short-lived as he was killed by his former student less than two years after assuming the Mist Shadow's mantle.

**-**

**Name: **Suzu

**Age (current): **30

**Gender: **Male

**Rank: **Angel of Shinobi Katana Jutsu

**Weapon(s) of Choice: **Zanbatou (horse-slaying sword)

**Status:** Mist Village

**Likes: **Sparring, sea food

**First Appearance: **Chapter 18

**Bio: **Suzu's skill with a sword is really the only notable thing about him, seeing as he has no particular skill with jutsus and lacks judgment. Suzu would have been better off staying as Kano's right hand, but his ambitions extended beyond his abilities. Suzu adopted the title of Mizukage as soon as he arrived back in Kirogakure and announced Kano's death, no one being strong enough or foolish enough to protest. How long Suzu will last in the position is up to anyone's guess.

**-**

**Name: **Nami

**Age (at time of death four years ago): **33

**Gender: **Female

**Rank:** Angel of Shinobi Katana Jutsu, ANBU Captain

**Weapon(s) of Choice: **Hira-Tsukuri (straight sword)

**Status: **Deceased (poisoned by Shimagawa Kano)

**Likes: **Baking, bothering her students

**First Appearance (mentioned): **Chapter 18, "And the Ice Begins to Melt" Chapter 3

**Bio: **The former leader of the Seven, Nami was known as the big sister of the ANBU corps for her caring nature and tendency to give everyone impractical birthday gifts. It was she who trained Zabuza in swordsmanship, and the mourners at her funeral far outnumbered those at the Mizukage's.

**-**

**Name: **Roka

**Age (current): **32

**Gender: **Male

**Rank: **Angel of Shinobi Katana Jutsu

**Weapon(s) of Choice: **No-Dachi (oversized katana)

**Status: **Cloud Village

**Likes: **Kabuki theater, rice balls

**First Appearance: **Chapter 21

**Bio: **Quiet and unobtrusive, Roka is the type who likes to manipulate events from behind the scenes. Most people tend to underestimate him, which he likes just fine. Despite his unimpressive reputation, he was one of the most powerful of the Seven.

_**Cloud Village**_

**Name: **Takamura Kenji

**Age (at time of death): **26

**Gender: **Male

**Rank: **ANBU Commander

**Status: **Deceased (gutted by Uchiha Sasuke's Chidori)

**Living Relation(s): **Takamura Ichiro (older brother), Raikage

**Likes: **Bragging, spicy food

**First Appearance: **Chapter 17

**Bio: **Though the position of ANBU Commander nominally belongs to the Raikage, Ichiro had to give his younger brother something to do. Arrogant, headstrong and easily angered, Kenji resents his older brother and thinks he would be a far superior Raikage despite enjoying his current job. No one else agrees, as Kenji is by far the less rational brother despite his effectiveness as an assassin. It was his arrogance that got him killed, as he unfortunately underestimated Uchiha Sasuke and suffered the ultimate consequence.

**-**

**Name: **Takamura Ichiro

**Age (current): **28

**Gender: **Male

**Rank: **Raikage

**Status: **Cloud Village

**Recently Deceased Relation(s): **Takamura Kenji (younger brother), ANBU commander

**Likes: **History books, cloud watching

**First Appearance: **Chapter 21

**Bio: **Ichiro assumed the Raikage mantle during a time of war with Konoha at the age of seventeen and was ill-prepared to deal with it. Had he been older, wiser and more confident about his own abilites, it is unlikely the Cloud-nin would have allowed Roka such a large play in his life, or at least chosen a more suitable mentor. Ichiro has only become recently aware to the degree that the Angel of Shinobi Katana Jutsu has been manipulating him, but it is far too late to do anything about it, as Ichiro can no longer be sure whether his closest confidantes are loyal to him or to Roka. The death of his younger brother has only aggravated the situation.

_**Leaf Village**_

**Name: **Hoshizawa Makoto

**Age (current): **19

**Gender: **Male

**Rank: **ANBU

**Status: **Leaf Village

**Likes: **Women, ramen

**First Appearance: **Chapter 25

**Bio: **Only recently promoted to the assassination corps, Makoto is generally considered far too easygoing to last more than five minutes in the ANBU, but he hasn't been a member long enough for anyone to tell if their predictions will pan out. Though his father died during the Sound and Sand invasion four years ago, Makoto was glad to see him go, and his feelings toward Sound Village are a great deal friendlier than most everyone else in Konoha. His claim to fame is going on exactly half a date with Haruno Sakura before his resemblance to Naruto (personality-wise only, as he does not have blond hair) caused her to burst into tears.

**Name: **Kanaye

**Age (current): **27

**Gender: **Male

**Rank: **ANBU

**Status: **Leaf Village

**Likes: **Sake, peace and quiet

**First Appearance: **Chapter 24 (name mentioned in chapter 25)

**Bio: **A long-term member of the ANBU corps, Kanaye might have been promoted to ANBU Captain if he'd ever put any effort into his job. He has wanted to retire ever since he was twenty and discovered the ANBU mortality rate, but through a completely underwhelming show of disinterest, Kanaye has gone on to have one of the longest ANBU careers in the history of Konoha as he refuses the promotion to jounin on the basis that it would force him to deal with kids on a regular basis.

----

_**Differences from Canon**_

Author's Note: This is the second section of the 'not part of the story but interesting anyway' chapter. And yes, I know this is an AU so many details are different by necessity of the storyline, but here I'm listing stuff where the AU differs from canon where it shouldn't, mostly because of revelations in the latest manga chapters and new data book. Mostly stuff about Akatsuki. If you readers can think of any other differences, it would be great if you told me.

**_SPOILERS_** for those of you who don't read the manga.

**Canon:** Deidara is male.

**Fox and Shark:** Deidara is female.

**-**

**Canon:** The Akatsuki leader is a shadowy looking guy with hair like the Yondaime and eyes like Kurenai who likes Sasori better than Itachi.

**Fox and Shark: **The Akatsuki leader is a female in her mid-fifties named Hirayama Reiko from Stone Village who doesn't particularly favor anyone but finds teasing Itachi more amusing than teasing Sasori.

**-**

**Canon: **Constant use of the mangekyou Sharingan is deteriorating Itachi's eyes so he'll probably be totally blind, eventually.

**Fox and Shark: **Using the mangekyou Sharingan hasn't hurt Itachi at all.

**-**

**Canon:** Kisame is twenty-nine at the end of Naruto, Part One.

**Fox and Shark:** Kisame is twenty-one at the end of Naruto, Part One.

**-**

**Canon: **The Akatsuki is composed of nine elite missing-nin who like to partner up for whatever reason and are hunting down the nine jinchuuriki to stuff in a giant elephant statue and use for their own nefarious purposes.

**Fox and Shark:** The Akatsuki is a large organization consisting of jounin (and up) level ninja, split into five classes: Elite, Active, Council, Medics, and Unattached, who take missions for countries without their own shinobi village or for rich clients who want things done circumspectly. While, like in canon, Naruto was sought out, it was to make him a member of the Akatsuki, not to suck out the Kyuubi. Gaara was not searched for because he was deemed too unstable to be particularly useful, but when the youngest child of the Yondaime Kazekage came to Kaizen in search of Naruto, it was decided that with counseling and under Naruto's influence, Gaara might work out. The gamble was taken by Hirayama Reiko because previous attempts to put Naruto with a partner ended badly and Gaara was the only person Naruto would even consider going through the blood chakra bond with, and Naruto had already become too valuable to risk losing him through lack of attachment to the Akatsuki.

----

_**The Akatsuki Hierarchy**_

The Elite- The nine shinobi who are given the most respect in the Akatsuki and are assigned the most challenging missions, though most don't have authority, per se, since all Akatsuki, be it Elite or Active, act independently in partnerships or occasionally with another partnership, not in teams. Each Elite has a ring engraved with a seal, which is the only thing that outwardly differentiates them from the Active. The Akatsuki Commander is a member of the Elite and leads the entirety of the Akatsuki. The smallest class of Akatsuki at nine members.

_Members_ in order of positions of authority; senior shinobi listed first in partnership:

Hirayama Reiko (commander)

Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame (commanding elite team; Itachi is the most likely of the Nine to assume the mantle of commander in the event of Hirayama Reiko's death)

Sasori and Deidara

Gin and Toyozen Yasuo

Uzumaki Naruto and Sabaku no Gaara

-

The Active- Like the Elite, the Active operate in partnerships, but they are of a lower caliber. The largest class of Akatsuki.

_Members_

Iwamori Michio and Matsushita Sen

-

The Council- The advisors to the Akatsuki Commander, the Council plays a similar role to the council of a Kage, though instead of consisting of older shinobi who have passed their prime as in the Great Villages, the Akatsuki Council is composed of excellent shinobi who refuse to go through the blood chakra bond ritual but are too skilled to be regulated to the Unattached. It is in fact the Council and not the Elite who command the Akatsuki, handing out missions and handling trade, law, etc., though they have no jurisdiction over the Elite, since only Hirayama Reiko has the authority to give the Nine assignments and keep them under control. There are usually around twelve members of the Council with no definite leader, but this isn't set like the number of Elite and varies according to need.

_Members_

Zetsu

-

The Medics- Similar to the Unattached in that they (mostly) don't have partners, the Medics' purpose is identical to that of the medic corps of the regular shinobi villages. This is the sole class of the Akatsuki where missing-nin are allowed that are below jounin strength, since medic-nins are in such short supply.

_Members_

Yakushi Kabuto

Tsukioki Yukio

-

The Unattached- Jounin caliber shinobi who refuse to go through the blood chakra bond ritual, the Unattached are just that; unattached to other shinobi. The Unattached are not allowed to go on missions since the Akatsuki guarantee success on their missions by sending more than one shinobi at a time, and without the blood chakra bond, missing-nin cannot be relied upon to watch out for their comrades, so the Unattached are mostly regulated to guard duty. The Unattached are a rather small minority of the Akatsuki, as most missing-nin who join either soon get sick of border patrol and go through the blood chakra bond ritual so they can go on missions, or they get sick of border patrol and leave (usually to fatal consequences, with one of the few exceptions being Orochimaru). No members have of yet been introduced.


	23. Talking Things Over

Author's Note: Uh… hey. Been a while. Sorry about the wait. I was on vacation. Hope the length of this chapter makes up for it. Thanks for the reviews, and sorry for the relative lack of responses. This time around I only answered questions I thought were relevant. As for there being too many OCs… I made a comprehensive guide to address that very issue.

crimson nightmare: I think Kisame and Itachi could have a physical relationship. I'll probably eventually write a sequel to "Blind Eyes" where they kiss, but if you want a believably written Itachi/Kisame now, I recommend two stories by Kagaya Chou, which inspired my story: "Kisame, Koi" and "Itachi, Itoshi." They're both very good, and Kisame and Itachi get a lot further in them then they do in mine.

noname: Sen isn't one of the Nine. In my version of the Akatsuki, there are minor members of the Akatsuki called the active, and the nine are called the elite. Zetsu isn't one of the nine either. He's a council member since he refused to have a partner. The nine have been listed: Reiko, who is the leader, Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Naruto, Gaara, and Gin and Yasuo, who have been mentioned but haven't made an appearance yet.

random: Kimimaro makes his appearance in this chapter.

Etto: Absolutely everyone hates the title of this story. I don't know why. It isn't _that_ bad.

the real esther: Well, if you like Gai, here's more of him here.

magical-flyingdragon: Kidoumaru isn't in this chapter, but Kimimaro is.

Peter Kim: Naruto doesn't like the toads. He isn't going to summon unless there is an emergency. Konohamaru has been mentioned once or twice, but he and Naruto aren't going to meet anytime soon because Naruto is going out of town. Why do you want to see the Chuunin Exams? All the major characters are chuunin and above. It just wouldn't be interesting.

Ouatic-7: Zetsu is in the manga, but he also shows up in the anime after Kakashi picks up Naruto after the big Naruto/Sasuke fight.

Sarehptar: Well, Chapter 23 is going to have a lot of Naruto/Gaara interaction, so that should make you happy. And as for the quality of this chapter… I don't know if it's good, but it's certainly long.

Trowa no Miko: Thanks for all the reviews. Sorry I couldn't respond to all of them, but that would take up a couple pages, so I'm just addressing your last: Naruto does talk to Tsunade here, but she actually takes it pretty well.

ShaJen: Please, feel free to obsess.

me: There are intelligent individuals out there. Most of them just don't show it in the way they speak. For instance, when I talk, I tend to swear a great deal when I'm angry, which is hardly the mark of a scholar, so my writing sounds a great deal more thought-out than my actual speech, probably because it is.

----

The Hokage and Naruto watched in silence as Sasuke jumped through the window and out of sight. After the Uchiha's departure, Tsunade sighed, rubbed at the bridge of her nose, and finally turned to Naruto.

"Shizune said you were looking for me. What do you want?"

"Uh…" In all the chaos, Naruto had completely forgotten his original purpose had been to find the Hokage. He suddenly found himself wishing that everyone else had forgotten too. "Well, you see…"

----

The first time Sasuke had met Sakon, he had been thirteen and pissed off that Orochimaru had assigned him a babysitter. He had waited impatiently at the designated rendezvous point, not really knowing what to expect but aware that whatever he got, he would hate it, if only because he hated people in general and some random Sound-nin wasn't going to be the exception. He wasn't disappointed.

Sasuke's first impressions of Sakon had been varied. He hadn't sensed the Sound-nin's arrival and hadn't even noticed the older shinobi until Sakon was right in front of his face, so a rather grudging respect had been forced on Sasuke from the get-go. Sakon's appearance was another matter. Even back then, the Sound-nin had been a full inch shorter than Sasuke despite being two years older, but height had never been much of a concern when it came to sheer power. Naruto alone had taught Sasuke that.

Almost everyone would have mistaken Sakon for a girl upon first glance, but Sasuke had never been everyone, and the face was really the only feminine thing about Sakon. The Sound-nin was short and wiry and looked deceivingly frail until he hit you, but his voice was deep and he didn't adapt female characteristics on a whim, which was why Sasuke still wondered why the older shinobi bothered with lipstick if he didn't put any effort towards passing as a girl.

Sakon had moved with the care of a fighter who had been recently injured, and by the rather pronounced limp (still there to this day, but much reduced), the battle had been brutal and short and someone had died, though Sasuke got that more out of the empty look in Sakon's eyes than any physical injury.

Initially, Sakon was stronger than him, but Sasuke's power had been growing by leaps and bounds recently and the difference wouldn't last long. But more importantly, Sakon called him Sasuke-sama and didn't seem inclined to get in Sasuke's way, and by the end of their first meeting Sasuke decided that is would be less trouble to ignore his new bodyguard than to actively try to get rid of him.

In the beginning, Sakon had seemed all but useless. Sasuke still went on missions with Sakura and Kakashi, and if worst came to worst, Kakashi would kill whoever they couldn't handle and drag his students home to be fixed up by the medic-nins. It was only once in that first year that the Sound-nin ever made his part in Team Seven's assignments apparent. Kakashi had been elsewhere, finishing off some of their stronger opponents, and Sakura had been exhausted, and Sasuke could _see_ the group of Cloud chuunin heading towards them; sense their chakra, and he couldn't finish them off, not now… and suddenly their life signatures winked out, one after the other, but in such quick succession their deaths almost seemed to happen simultaneously. When Sasuke went to survey the battlefield after their mission had been completed, Sakon wasn't there, but the bodies of his victims were, most with kunai through their throats but others dead with no indication of what killed them except the blood pooling in their mouths.

It was a month later that Sasuke requested he be allowed to take missions on his own, without a team. Tsunade, of course, refused, but sent him on an A-class assignment with another cell in the mistaken belief that he had had an argument with Sakura and Kakashi and just needed some time to get over it. When Sasuke was the only one to come back from that mission, all he would say when questioned was, "I've never been good at looking out for other people."

The next mission he was assigned, Sasuke completed alone. And the next. When Sakura asked him about this new distance between them, he assured her that it wasn't anything personal; he just found it easier to complete his missions with no one to look out for, and he would never get powerful if he continued to rely on Kakashi as a safety net. Sakura believed him, as well she should; it was the truth, even if it wasn't all of it. Kakashi wasn't a safety net; he was a nuisance. The jounin's Sharingan eye made it all but impossible for Sakon to assist in any direct way without being spotted, and the Sound-nin was rapidly beginning to prove himself far more useful for Sasuke's purposes than his former teacher.

It wasn't long before Tsunade began to send him on more difficult missions, and soon Sasuke began to come back injured. But the missions were always completed, and he always came back. If the bandages wrapped around his wounds looked like they had been applied by someone else, no one questioned it. People did begin to wonder how the hell a mere chuunin could come back alive from missions that killed far more experienced shinobi, but most chalked it up to the Uchiha bloodline and raw talent that was just beginning to surface. Sasuke never bothered to correct them. No one needed to know that he never took the brunt of most of the attacks on his missions, or that more than once he had been knocked out of the way of an attack that should have killed him.

Despite Sakon's uses, his own skills were sporadic. He fought as one who had lost something essential, an arm or a leg he kept on trying to rely on, and Sasuke had never seen someone so startled at being stabbed in the back. In a passing moment of spontaneity, Sasuke had asked his subordinate whether he had misplaced the eyes in the back of his head, but by the way Sakon's eyes closed and teeth gritted tightly, Sasuke realized belatedly that his comment had perhaps hit a little too close to the mark. He didn't bring it up again. Even if he didn't much care for Sakon personally, he too well knew the cut of childish, petty comments made in passing about something no one could possibly understand.

Though the Sound-nin learned to work without whatever he had lost, the empty look had not once ever left his eyes, and at odd moments Sasuke had found himself wondering if that was how he had appeared in the months following the massacre of the Uchiha clan. Sasuke quite unwillingly grew used to Sakon's silence, which perhaps explained his later feelings of betrayal when his bodyguard proved to be something else entirely, that first time they went to Otogakure.

The shinobi of Konoha called it a sabbatical, though Kakashi recognized it for what it was and asked him if he didn't mind taking a mission with his old teacher when he returned from his training journey, just for the hell of it. Sasuke agreed, Kakashi clapped a hand on his shoulder, and they parted, Kakashi to leave on some assignment he wouldn't talk about and Sasuke to head away from the village he grew up in and towards the place where he would probably end up, eventually. Though not now; Orochimaru was nothing if not patient and his interest in the past year had shifted away from possessing Sasuke as a vessel and towards grooming the Uchiha as Kabuto's replacement, which Sasuke didn't mind in the least and actually preferred. Especially since a second-in-command was allowed far more freedoms than the future container of Orochimaru's soul.

A few miles away from Konoha, Sakon stopped tailing him at a discreet distance and instead acted the part of guide, as Sasuke had no idea where Sound Village really was except to the northeast of Konoha. The trip took about two days, which was less time than it seemed like it should have been, but Sakon knew exactly where Otogakure was and both of them had stamina and speed. It helped that they didn't stop to sleep. Neither of them wanted to take the chance of being followed.

At first, Sasuke had been thrown off by the sight of the village, if only because it looked like it had recently suffered an invasion and the inhabitants were trying to rebuild. It took some explanation from Sakon, in his usual monotone, for Sasuke to realize that Otogakure was just expanding its borders, as most of it previously had been underground and they were running out of room.

After being met at the border by a nondescript genin whose name Sasuke forgot as soon as he introduced himself, Sasuke and Sakon parted ways, Sasuke to be guided by the genin to Orochimaru and Sakon to wander off to God-knows-where. Sasuke briefly resented his bodyguard for leaving him at such a time, but he didn't mention it, for the feeling was, in the end, a foolish impulse. Orochimaru was unlikely to hurt him, and even if he did, Sakon was even less likely to do anything about it.

Sasuke hadn't seen Orochimaru in over a year. While the snake sannin had sent some valuable scrolls that detailed some impressive techniques and a rather grueling training program, the kind of personal attention Sasuke had received under Kakashi hadn't yet taken place. The fact that their first meeting in Otogakure took place in a library spoke of several things: One, Orochimaru hadn't been waiting with baited breath for his arrival, and two, the sannin really was far too interested in research if he spent his mornings cooped up in a stuffy room with a pile of books. Sasuke liked to read well enough, but he preferred to allocate that activity to the evenings, when training was no longer feasible.

Considering Sasuke's initial impression of the sannin, two years ago in the Forest of Death, the difference between then and now made their meeting almost a letdown. Orochimaru's eyes barely flickered towards Sasuke at all before returning his gaze to the scroll laid in front of him on the desk. However, before Sasuke could work up the proper level of indignation, Orochimaru formally acknowledged his presence.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun, you've arrived. Please, sit down. This will only take a moment."

Sasuke did as the sannin ordered and sat directly across from his new teacher. After the moment stretched into five minutes, Sasuke, in the usual disinterested fashion of those who have nothing else to do, tried to read the scroll Orochimaru was so focused on. Unfortunately, from his perspective the script was upside down, though that was a minor concern after Sasuke realized he didn't recognize the language.

Shortly before Sasuke's patience ran out, Orochimaru rolled up the scroll and placed it to the side. With the sannin's eyes now meeting his own, Sasuke finally remembered why exactly he had found the man so terrifying, back then. The Sharingan was often said to be a demon's gaze; if so, Orochimaru's was a serpent's, a far more ancient and unnerving evil. The discomfort Sasuke felt, however, was obviously not reciprocated, as Orochimaru with complete nonchalance reached towards the bookcase to his immediate left and pulled out another scroll, this one significantly larger than the one he had been reading five minutes previous.

"Now then, Sasuke-kun, shall we begin?"

----

If the practice schedule assigned by Orochimaru through mail had been grueling, the training now was tortuous. In his few lucid moments, Sasuke found himself wondering what Sakon was doing or where Kabuto was, as the doctor had yet to make an appearance, but the rest of the time he was too busy dodging kunai, reading obscure scrolls, or trying to summon bigger and better snakes. Snakes, Sasuke soon realized, were much like cats in that they never listened to what you said and almost always wanted compensation. Sasuke never got more than five hours sleep a night, which was exhausting considering what he went through doing the day, but every time Sasuke felt like blowing Orochimaru off, just once so he could get a few extra hours in bed, he remembered Itachi. Itachi, his older brother, who not only had deprived him of his family and childhood, but also of his best friend. In the end, it was hatred that kept Sasuke going. If Sasuke hadn't possessed enough hatred two years ago, he certainly did now.

It was on a rare day off that Sasuke found himself wandering aimlessly through the village's main compound, examining his new place of habitation thoroughly for the first time, when he heard an unfamiliar sound. Someone was laughing.

This wasn't to say that laughter was rare in Sasuke's existence. Though he himself rarely laughed, Naruto had done so often and Sakura was not disinclined. Even in Otogakure, where the atmosphere was somewhat grimmer, Sasuke every so often came across teammates bantering in hallways and dining rooms, or lovers in the garden. Even in Otogakure, people could be happy.

No, it wasn't the laughter itself that startled Sasuke; it was the person the laughter came from. In his year-long acquaintance with his bodyguard, Sakon had never laughed. Not once. It was for this reason that it took Sasuke a few moments to recognize the sound for what it was.

When Sasuke had finally snuck close enough to his subordinate to be able to see with whom he was talking, the Uchiha's eyes narrowed. He recognized the man chatting with Sakon. It was one of Orochimaru's other bodyguards, the teen with six arms and dark skin and a demeanor that would have made him perfect for Konoha's shinobi corps if his smile ever managed to lose its sadistic edge. Kidoumaru, whom Sasuke had only spoken with once and never intended to speak with again. Kidoumaru, who had made Sakon laugh, made the empty look leave the effeminate man's eyes, if only for a moment. Kidoumaru, who quite unintentionally just made Sasuke's shit list. So, for that matter, had Sakon.

They left Otogakure to return to Konoha soon after, Orochimaru having managed to stuff several years worth of training into three months at the expense of Sasuke's sanity, and most of his patience. This was the precise reason why Sasuke wasted no time beyond Otogakure's borders to completely lose his temper.

It was over some minor issue, one Sasuke couldn't even remember in retrospect. But as Sasuke watched Sakon stand there silently while he was raked over the coals by his young master, complete disinterest in his again empty eyes, the Uchiha found himself wishing for a reaction. _Any _reaction. It was then that Sasuke brought some of the knowledge he had acquired in Otogakure into play, and quite deliberately stepped over the line.

"Sakon, how can you expect to do a decent job guarding me when you can't even do something so simple as to leave no tracks behind? With your shoddy skills, it's no wonder your brother died."

Sakon's fists clenched, and for the first time, Sasuke watched his subordinate's eyes flash in anger. Even as the older shinobi tried to keep his calm façade, his voice snapped with barely concealed fury. "I would ask you kindly, Sasuke-sama, to never mention my brother again."

Unfortunately for Sakon, Sasuke's interest had been piqued. "Is that why you were forced upon me? Because your own failure crippled any use you might have to Orochimaru? I can't believe that after all his talk about me being the one who would follow in his footsteps, he still doesn't it consider it insulting to give me used goods."

During the course of Sasuke's rather amateur probing, there were several things the Uchiha hadn't taken into account: When Sakon was provoked, his hair-trigger temper tended to quickly reveal itself, and for all of Sasuke's training, he had only managed to elevate himself onto an even playing field when it came to sparring with his subordinate. The resulting fight resulted in several broken bones, one very bloody nose, and the creation of tension in the formerly cordial, if unemotional, relationship between the two shinobi. Sakon since then hadn't hesitated to retort, usually in a biting fashion, whenever Sasuke started becoming too arrogant for the shorter warrior's tastes. Sasuke soon found he didn't mind. Naruto's insults had always been childish, Kakashi's criticisms irritating, and Sakura had never risked provoking him. To quarrel with someone whose attitude was as caustic as his own had almost been… fun.

It was only recently that their tumultuous, if entertaining, arguments started to take a turn for the bitter, when Sasuke began to see Sakon's attitude as insubordinate as opposed to something that relieved the tedium, and Sakon in exchange withdrew into himself again, only coming out in rare moments of loquaciousness or complete exhaustion. Sasuke couldn't really pinpoint what sparked the change, but in retrospect, he did recognize one of the major causes: the increasing rivalry between himself and Orochimaru's former favorite, now commander of Otogakure's shinobi forces.

From the beginning, Kimimaro's personality had rubbed Sasuke the wrong way. After the Kaguya prodigy's illness had made him ineligible to be Orochimaru's future container, he had instead taken over the task of training Sound's shinobi corps. Even after a skilled medic-nin, the same one who had managed to fix Orochimaru's arms, pushed Kimimaro's disease into remission, the chances of the virus resurfacing had been too great for Orochimaru to chance using the white-haired man's body as a vessel. This rejection had made Kimimaro overly protective of what the snake sannin deigned to grant him, and that included subordinates. Most importantly, the Sound Four. Ukon's death had not only taken from Kimimaro the more skilled twin, it had also ruined the other. The fact that Sasuke had gotten the younger brother under his command after Sakon's recovery just added more fuel to the fire. Kimimaro thought of Sasuke as nothing more than a thief who had taken away not only Orochimaru's favor, but Sakon as well. Sasuke thought Kimimaro was an idiot who was far too dependent on Orochimaru, but the knowledge that Kimimaro was stronger than him made the Kaguya still someone to watch out for.

In truth, the most esteemed of Orochimaru's subordinates would have disliked each other even if they hadn't been competing over the same position and the command of the same shinobi, but they were, and Sakon had the misfortune to be picked as their main bone of contention, which he didn't appreciate. Tensions between Kimimaro and Sasuke had been especially elevated in the past few months, when Sasuke had hinted as to his plans to soon relocate to Otogakure. Considering that Orochimaru knew of their enmity and had never found it particularly amusing whenever the two of them came to blows, when Sasuke returned home from the hospital and opened his front door, Kimimaro was the last person he expected to find in his apartment. Sitting on his couch. Reading a magazine. Worse, one of the porn magazines Sakon stacked on Sasuke's coffee table whenever he was pissed at the Uchiha and knew Sakura or Kakashi was coming to visit. Sasuke could have sworn he had burned them all.

Sasuke wasn't in the mood to deal with Kimimaro. Not that he ever was, but considering what he had been through in the past six hours, Sasuke thought he was entitled to a break, not to another sparring match (verbal or otherwise) with the person he hated most in the entirety of Otogakure. His chest hurt, he was exhausted, he hadn't eaten since six o'clock in the morning, and just then Sasuke wanted nothing more than some peroxide, three or four of Sakon's banana bran muffins (better fresh, but you couldn't have everything), and a Kimimaro-free couch. Less than thirty seconds after entering his living room, Sasuke had a feeling that if he'd be lucky if he scored one out of three, especially considering the empty muffin tin to Kimimaro's immediate left.

Despite the fact that Sasuke knew he didn't have the chakra for it, for a moment, his Sharingan threatened to resurface. ((I can't believe that bastard ate my muffins.))

Kimimaro, of course, had noticed Sasuke as soon as he had gotten within thirty feet of the apartment, but it wasn't until the Uchiha had stood there for a good sixty seconds, starting incredulously at the tin where his impromptu dinner had formerly resided, that the Kaguya prodigy deigned to recognize his presence. Glancing up from his reading material, Kimimaro raised one eyebrow at the Uchiha's disheveled appearance. It would have been an appropriate time for a smirk, but the white-haired shinobi had never gotten the knack of that particular skill, so his face remained (as usual) blank.

"Did something happen?"

"Konoha just staved off an invasion. Or didn't you notice the property damage on your way in?"

Kimimaro went back to his magazine. "And here I was thinking that was just the Leaf-nins' version of spring cleaning. I suppose I can't be accurate all the time."

"Why are you here?"

Kimimaro ignored the question. "I must say, Sasuke, your choice of reading material is quite low-class for one who claims to be worthy of becoming Orochimaru-sama's successor."

Sasuke really didn't want to bother explaining the whole story behind the porn magazines, especially not to the Kaguya prodigy. He just wanted the man to leave so he could get some sleep. "Answer the question, Kimimaro."

With an easy kind of grace Sasuke had never been able to master, Kimimaro tossed the magazine back onto the coffee table and rose to his feet. Even a good ten feet from Sasuke, the Kaguya still managed to loom. Sasuke had never been able to figure out how the man did that, since the height difference between them was less than an inch. It was just one more irritating thing about Kimimaro that Sasuke couldn't stand.

When Kimimaro next spoke, the slightly amused tone had left his voice. While Sakon's monotone had been the result of a lack of interest in anything, up to and including breathing, Kimimaro's deadpan came naturally, making it far more convincing. "Your subordinate is late in sending us his reports. Orochimaru-sama sent me to investigate the situation. As I was unable to sense Sakon's presence, I decided his master's explanation would be the next best thing." Though Kimimaro was incapable of conjuring up a decent sneer, the implication of contempt still managed to enter his tone at the word _master_. Inadvertently, Sasuke bristled. He couldn't deal with this. Not now.

"We have been otherwise occupied recently. Tell _your_ master that as soon as Sakon recovers from his injuries, I will make sure to-"

The eyebrow again went up. "Injuries?"

"Do I need to provide you with a definition, or are you at least capable of coming up with that much, Kimimaro?"

What Kimimaro couldn't refute with complete poise, he ignored. "You only have one servant to look after, and you still can't take proper care of him."

Sasuke felt his hands clench into fists. "My _servant_ acquired his wounds doing his duty. Seeing as he will survive, it looks like I still managed to be a better master than you, even in the midst of an invasion. At least _my _subordinate didn't die while I wasn't paying attention."

The resulting stare down was inevitable. Kimimaro's eyes narrowed. Sasuke sneered.

Kimimaro's next words were cold. "Do not presume to judge what you don't understand, Leaf-nin."

"Don't _you_ presume to tell me how to treat my subordinates. Leave."

Kimimaro didn't move.

"For all of your airs, Kimimaro, keep in mind that I outrank you. Orochimaru wouldn't be pleased if he heard of you disobeying me so blatantly."

At Sasuke's words, the Kaguya prodigy stiffened, but he nodded and turned towards the door. At the last moment, Sasuke remembered something. "Oh, and one more thing, Kimimaro. Would you please ask Orochimaru what he thinks of an alliance with Konoha? Just as a theoretical possibility."

Kimimaro glanced back at the Uchiha. Instead of the expected shock, all Sasuke received was amusement. "Orochimaru-sama expects your plans to return to Otogakure to be consolidated within the month. If you're trying to conspire with your fellow Leaf-nins behind our lord's back, be sure to finish your plotting in a timely manner. I don't expect he'll wait much longer. But as a personal favor to you, Sasuke-_sama_, I will pass on your message, though if I were you, I wouldn't wait up for his praise."

"Unlike you, Kimimaro, I never do."

The Kaguya prodigy left without a reply. When he could no longer sense the white-haired shinobi's presence, Sasuke allowed himself to collapse on the couch and close his eyes. As expected; one out of three. He couldn't possibly get up enough energy to search through the medicine cabinet, not now, and that_ bastard_ Kimimaro had eaten all his muffins, the last edible thing in the house... he really had to go grocery shopping soon. Oh well… there was always tomorrow. That is, unless Kimimaro came back to kill him while he was unconscious. As unlikely as it was, you never knew…

With barely a murmur, Sasuke finally let himself fall asleep.

----

Naruto knew Kisame well enough to know that if the former Mist-nin had been capable of movement, he would currently be slapping Naruto upside the head. As it was, wrapped in bandages and weakened by blood loss, the senior Akatsuki member could only sigh in the manner of parents who had expected something like this to happen, but were disappointed anyway when their kids yet again failed to come through. The fact that he had been dragged to Kisame's hospital room by the Lady Hokage herself, Gaara trailing along behind, didn't improve the situation. Despite himself, Naruto couldn't help but feel guilty.

When he finally spoke, Kisame's voice had the kind of dangerous calm Naruto normally associated with Itachi. It was the voice that said 'You are in deep shit,' and usually foretold torture and dozens of mutilated bodies. "Let's go over this one more time; you asked the Hokage for the Raijin back because you've forgotten how to fight properly without it, she gave it to you because she believed you were the only one qualified to use it, and then you broke it in a fit of pique."

"I didn't mean to break it. It wasn't like I threw it all that hard-"

"Brat," and Naruto cringed; Kisame never called him brat anymore unless the former Mist-nin thought he'd done something particularly stupid, "You _threw_ your _sword_, which may I remind you wasn't even yours anymore. Were you asleep through the lessons on weaponry care, as well as all your other lectures? How the hell could you act like such an idiot? Didn't I teach you anything at all?"

"I wasn't thinking."

"Are you ever?"

Naruto was beginning to feel a little desperate. He had, not once, ever seen Kisame so angry, including the time he had fallen asleep on guard duty and the Kiro hunter-nin that got by managed to stab three kunai into Kisame's back before the former Mist-nin cut the would-be assassin in half. Naruto was, as Kisame's voice had earlier foretold, in Deep Shit. "I can… I can make up for this."

"How?"

It was then that Tsunade, from her position in the doorway observing Naruto's verbal thrashing, finally decided to contribute. "Actually, I have a proposal about that very thing."

Naruto and Kisame turned to her, Naruto with the wild hope of one who had found himself on the executioner's block only to be given a pardon. Even so, Kisame sounded skeptical. "I'm surprised you're willing to let the brat off the hook like that."

Tsunade shrugged. "I couldn't care less about the Raijin. It will never work again, but I doubt it would have ever been used even if it were still functional. Such weapons are best left in showcases for old warriors to marvel at and reminisce about the glory days, and the Raijin can still be pieced back together to fulfill that function.

"However, this unfortunately leaves an opening for my council. They will use this incident to further their case against this alliance, and the village is already too split on this issue as it is. I cannot allow any further dissent in Konohagakure, so I'm afraid, in the interest of politics, that Naruto-kun must do something spectacular so the footing the council gains is minimized."

Naruto blinked. "But we helped out a lot during the invasion-"

"All the council needs to say to null your contribution is that it was your presence that brought the attack upon us, and too many people died today for anyone to consider the situation objectively. So are you willing to do as I ask, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto, in what Kisame would call his 'childish naivety,' said the very thing shinobi were explicitly told never to say: "Anything."

Tsunade leaned casually against the wall, crossed her arms, and smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. "The first thing I did after we knew for sure that the Mist and Cloud had retreated was send an ANBU squad to investigate the goings-on in Kirogakure. With the Mizukage dead, the Mist forces will be scattered and the danger to my ANBU is minimized. However, the Raikage is still very much alive, and the Cloud did not lose as many warriors. They will be far more organized, and to sneak into the heart of one of the main shinobi villages without the advantage of a leaderless populous is considered by even the most experienced shinobi to be suicide. However, by the exorbitant rates your organization charges, I can only assume that for the Akatsuki, such missions are the norm. I believe that one assignment completed by an Akatsuki elite pair, free of charge, would be adequate recompense for the damage done to one of Konohagakure's most ancient and revered weapons. Don't you agree, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto's mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. "Uh… Gaara and I really aren't that great at reconnaissance-"

Gaara elbowed him sharply in the side. Turning to stare at his partner (since when did Gaara hit him?), out of the corner of his eye Naruto caught the ferocious glare Kisame was sending him. The meaning was clear enough: Say yes, or suffer the consequences. Naruto knew from experience that he wouldn't like the consequences.

"… We'll do it anyway, though. We're still probably better at it than your ANBU."

Tsunade thumped Naruto companionably on the back, making him stumble at the force of it. "That's the spirit."

Naruto forced a weak grin on his face and tried to refrain from rubbing the spot between his shoulder blades. No girl should be able to hit that hard. The scary thing was, from the rumors Naruto had heard, the Lady Hokage had been holding _back_. "Uh… just one thing though. Can we leave tomorrow morning? I kind of want to say goodbye to Sasuke."

Tsunade shrugged. "Considering how long it will take you to get to Kumogakure, I doubt twelve hours will make much of a difference."

"Thanks."

The Lady Hokage nodded, but the appearance of one of her many assistants stalled whatever reply she had in mind. After conferring for several seconds with the younger medic-nin, Tsunade turned back to the Akatsuki. "We'll finish this conversation tomorrow." And she stepped out into the hallway and out of sight without waiting for a response. For several seconds afterward, the hospital room was silent. It was then that Naruto realized that someone had been missing from the exchange with the leader of Konoha.

"Hey, Kisame, where's Itachi?"

"Taking a shower, luckily for you. But if I were you, kid, I'd be circumspect about the details of your next mission. Itachi-san doesn't take kindly to stupid mistakes."

"Circumspect?"

Gaara kindly supplied the definition. "It means keep your mouth shut. You should, too. If Itachi beats you unconscious, I don't want to have to pull your weight on our assignment tomorrow. I'm not going to take the blame for it if you get yourself killed."

"Thanks, Gaara. You're all heart."

As usual, the former Sand-nin either didn't notice the sarcasm or ignored it. "You're welcome." He paused. "But if you're going to be like that, I won't guard your back. I don't like to be made fun of." Or maybe he did notice. Shit. Gaara was terrible to get along with when he was in a mood.

Not, Naruto reflected, that his partner was a bouquet of roses the rest of the time, but at least usually Naruto didn't have to worry about attacks from behind. In the smallest corner of his mind where Naruto kept his things-to-do list, he quietly made a note to apologize, eventually. Perhaps then he had a chance of surviving the next week. Maybe.

Somehow, Naruto still doubted it. Reconnaissance. Why did it have to be reconnaissance?

----

Sakura hadn't expected to find someone else waiting by Lee's bedside when she entered her boyfriend's hospital room, but in retrospect, Sakura knew she really shouldn't be surprised. Gai wasn't the sort of person who would ignore the situation when one of his students had been hospitalized, especially when his protégé was the pupil concerned.

The jounin instructor was sitting in one of the chairs provided for visitors when she walked through the doorway, but as soon as he noticed her presence, Gai sprang to his feet and bowed slightly to her, for a moment reminding her far too strongly of Lee in how archaic practices seemed to encompass everything the man did. Not that the resemblance was anything new. If Sakura had not, in fact, met Lee's parents once, in a dinner she would just as soon forget, if someone had told her that Gai was not Lee's father, she would have laughed at them, despite the fact that the mere thirteen year age gap between the student and the teacher made the possibility of parenthood extremely unlikely.

"Sakura, it gladdens my heart to see you again. I expect you've come to visit Lee?"

Sakura nodded. "I brought him in earlier after he overdid the sake, and the doctor told me he would be alright, but I thought he'd be happy if I came to see him, just the same." She smiled, a little sadly. "If I'd known he was still unconscious, perhaps I would have come a little later."

Gai shook his head vigorously. "Just the knowledge that you stood by his side in his moment of need will please him."

Unable to deny this, Sakura turned to at Lee, looking pale and young against the austerity of the hospital bed. She used to feel guilty about how little it seemed she contributed to their relationship, how it always seemed Lee settled for less just to make her happy. The fact that it was unlikely he would regain consciousness in time for them to talk wouldn't faze Lee; just the mere mention of her presence would be enough. Through experience, Sakura knew this wasn't so much a sign of the weak as it was of a romantic. It was with this piece of wisdom that the guilt had faded; if making her happy made Lee happy, making herself miserable wouldn't be an improvement in their romance.

In the end, her gift to Lee was trying to be as positive as possible, to have few doubts and fewer moments of self-imposed helplessness. Lately, though, lately… the doubts had resurfaced. Not about Lee though, never about him; his constancy was one of the few things she knew she could always depend on, a fountain of comfort and strength, to steal one of Gai's favorite clichés. The doubts had stemmed from entirely different sources, and only recently. Her former teammates, and her former teacher. Sasuke, Kakashi… and Naruto, perhaps him most of all.

Years ago, in the days of Team Seven, she had always been sure of her place. Naruto's crush, Sasuke's fan, Kakashi's most book-learned student, her position among her comrades hadn't always been comfortable, but just the fact that she had a role in their lives had helped her in moments of doubt. But then Naruto had died, Sasuke had grown distant, and Kakashi had lost interest. And if it hadn't been for Lee, then only a friend, but a sure one; for Ino, who had returned to her rightful place as closest confidante after it had been made obvious that Sasuke was a distant dream that neither of them could ever attain; for Gai, who completely inadvertently had taken Kakashi's place as mentor and source of inspiration, Sakura knew she would have almost certainly fallen apart. For over a year, the mere thought of Naruto had hurt, and for months she hadn't spoken to the Uchiha prodigy or the Copy-nin. Then things had settled, eventually. One day, Sasuke searched her out to ask her help on a research project, and a week later Kakashi had invited her to a restaurant, where they chatted about Naruto for hours over ramen. She again held a position in their lives, one far less important or vital, but Sakura found she didn't care as much anymore. She hadn't been on a mission with either of them in almost eighteen months, but Sakura didn't care much about that either. She had her friends, a loving boyfriend, an enthusiastic teacher who dragged her out for training in the pouring rain and helped said boyfriend nurse her back to health after she got a cold from practicing her katas soaking wet. If she was no longer so important to them, they no longer played such a pivotal part in her own life, and she hadn't, not once since she accepted Lee's offer of a date for the first time, ever looked at Sasuke and wondered about what might have been. What they could have been, if Naruto hadn't died and destroyed Sasuke's capacity to truly care. Not until now.

"Gai-sensei…"

Though he was currently engaged in the task of fluffing Lee's spare pillow, Gai obligingly put the cushion back under his protégé's head and gave Sakura his full attention. "What dilemma may I assist you with, Sakura?"

Feeling a little ashamed at her transparency, Sakura glanced down at the floor. When next she spoke, her voice was hesitant. "You know Naruto is alive."

Gai nodded gravely. "It was just earlier today I convinced my beloved rival to forgive Naruto's defection to the Akatsuki."

"Then you also know… Sasuke is a spy for Otogakure."

At this, the jounin instructor's mouth dropped open, but he quickly got over his surprise and was soon nodding again, this time more in a thoughtful rather than grave fashion. "This I did not know, but considering Sasuke-kun's withdrawal in the past few years from participation in Konoha daily life, it is not terribly shocking. Though I take it Sasuke's loyalties have upset you."

Sakura smiled. Gai's overly correct grammar never failed to cheer her. "They did a little at first, but…"

"That isn't what upsets you."

Sakura shook her head. "No, it isn't that. It's just… Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke, Naruto. They all… how can they be like that? Kakashi didn't seem to care at all about Sasuke spying for Sound. And Sasuke… he and Naruto seemed so close, but they couldn't have been together for more than a few hours before they met up again here in the hospital. But Sasuke… he was _joking_ with Naruto. And Naruto seemed to take it so well, but he was so angry with me earlier when I yelled at him… I don't understand. What is…" and Sakura had to bite her lip to keep tears from spilling; this was foolish, she hadn't cried over Sasuke in _years_, "What is wrong with me, Gai-sensei?"

Next to her, Gai was silent. Looking up from the floor, the kunoichi glanced sideways at her teacher's face. It took most of Sakura's force of will not to back up at the expression she saw there. Gai looked very, very angry. When the section of wall he was glaring at started to crack, the jounin instructor was jolted back to reality. Blinking in the manner of one who had been shaken awake in the middle of the night, Gai stared for several seconds at the damage inflicted on the paint before reasserting his gaze back to Sakura. Seeing her wide-eyed, he shot her the patented Teeth Whitening commercial grin and similarly copyrighted Good Guy pose. From somewhere in the distance, Sakura heard a _ping_. "Absolutely nothing is wrong with you, Sakura. You are in the springtime of youth and making far better use of it than most. You are a thoughtful and caring woman with a great capacity to love. If you sense any deficiencies within you, take confidence in the fact that you are a blossoming flower and it is your right, nay, your duty, to make as many mistakes as possible in your journey to find the true path of honorable strength and moral righteousness. And if Kakashi did anything to upset you, I will kick him in the head until blood comes out his ears."

As inspiring as most of Gai's speech was, Sakura wasn't sure she'd heard the last part correctly. "What?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing! And while we await dear Lee's awakening, would you like to go out for some sushi?"

"Uh…" Well, she did like sushi. "Sure."

----

Elsewhere in Konoha…

Temari looked up from her plate of soba, suddenly remembering something. "Hey, Kankuro, the doctor called about twenty minutes ago. Why the hell did you make an appointment? You weren't hurt during the invasion." At his sister's words, the puppeteer choked on his noodles. Temari waiting impatiently. "Well?"

Not meeting the kunoichi's eyes, Kankuro mumbled something about Peeps and failed dentistry before excusing himself from the table. Watching the younger shinobi's departure, Temari sighed. Brothers.


	24. Making Amends & Conflicting Bias

Author's Note: Sadly, I did not get to the Naruto/Gaara interaction this chapter as they have not yet made their exit from Konoha, but it'll be in the next chapter. Promise. Please, do not expect chapters of this length all the time. This thing took me five days, and that's not counting the rewrite. I'm glad some people like this fic's title, though. Because really, after Chapter One it doesn't make much sense, but why should it? I actually wrote this chapter two weeks ago, but it's been rewritten dramatically since then, thanks to suggestions by one of my betas, Grey. One interesting fact: 15 chapters (not counting the OC profiles) and 70,597 words (again, not counting the OC profile) of this fic cover a period of one day's time, from when Naruto wakes up to a glass of water being thrown in his face to when Kankuro gets called on his sister for making an appointment with the doctor.

Jenzy: A lot of this fic seems to revolve around food, for some reason. Last time it was muffins. This time it's doughnuts. And Sasuke isn't all-powerful. He's talented, but he isn't a genius on the level of his brother or Orochimaru. He and Naruto do chat here, though. I have a thing about making Otogakure out to be a real village, which is why most of the time Orochimaru seems to be doing paperwork when he isn't attending to other official village business in this fic, because fanfic writers seem to forget that he is in fact the leader of Sound Village and can't possibly spend all of his time plotting his evil deeds.

Ouatic-7: Thanks for pointing that typo out. I fixed it. And as for the muffins thing… I have not yet met a person who doesn't get pissed when someone touches their food without asking, so why should Sasuke be the exception?

Peter Kim: Reiko knows about the Stone invasion of Sound. That's all I'm going to say.

Azamaria-chan: For some reason, I have never been able to get into pairing Naruto and Sasuke with anybody, much less with each other. I don't have the hate for it that I do for much of Kakashi/Iruka fanfiction (though there are well-written exceptions) since it does have canon basis, but it just doesn't interest me. And the Sasuke and Sakon thing _was_ random. I watched Episode 109 and thought, "Wow, that Sakon character is really cool." Quite frankly, if I'd waited to give Sasuke a bodyguard until I'd seen Episode 117, he probably would have ended up with Kidoumaru instead, who replaced Sakon as my favorite Sound character, though in truth Sakon works better for the angst factor. Kidoumaru's just a little too cheery to do anything but drive Sasuke completely insane.

lemmings-please: The problem with starting an Akatsuki fic when I did was that only two Akatsuki members had been introduced and we knew nothing about the organization, so I pretty much made everything up and now it's strayed ridiculously far from canon. However, I do like the actual Akatsuki characters that have shown up in the recent manga chapters, so I decided to include them for the hell of it in weird cameos.

Trowa no Miko: The deal with Kankuro and the doctor giving him a call is just an allusion to the weird feelings he got earlier whenever he was near sappiness, so he made an appointment because he thought something was wrong with him. That's it. I just wanted to finish that story thread, so I added the short section with Temari and Kankuro to explain what was going on. And there is no way Sasuke and Kimimaro would ever like each other. They're too similar in some ways and different in others to do anything but clash.

lareyne: I do have reasoning for not having Orochimaru take Sasuke as a vessel. I really do. Good, Orochimaru-type logic (though it is a little more forward-thinking than he usually is). However, this logic won't be revealed for a while, probably not until "A Fox and a Shark Walk into a Bar" is almost over, as it ties into a big plot point coming up. Glad you like Gai, because he's in this chapter a lot.

ShaJen: Remember when Kankuro was worrying earlier about his health while Temari and Gaara were hugging? He made an appointment with the doctor because he thought something was wrong with him. And Naruto/Gaara interaction is love. Doesn't really happen much here except in a one-sided sort of way, but it's going to be there next chapter.

noname: No, that isn't how the Akatsuki is run, though you're getting warmer. Sorry, I don't explain these things well, but I updated the OC profile page with information about the Akatsuki hierarchy so you can look there for a better explanation, but basically the Nine, except for Reiko, have no real power. It's the council that runs the majority of the Akatsuki. The Nine just have autonomy and get all the better missions. As for what Itachi would do to Naruto… well, I guess you're never going to find out, because Naruto and Gaara book it out of Konoha in time to avoid Itachi's wrath.

vic: Naruto makes up with Sakura in this chapter, so don't worry about that.

Sisco: I listed all the original characters in the OC profiles in Chapter 22, so all the other characters that have shown up are either in the manga or the anime, so though there are many original characters, most of them aren't important.

Sarehptar: Thanks. I do try, since I've seen so many long fanfics just degenerate into mediocrity and I'm trying to avoid that. Though it isn't a shame that Itachi didn't catch Naruto. At least, Naruto doesn't think so.

ChibiRisu-chan: Sasuke isn't evil. Nor is he particularly good. He's just human, and therefore flawed. Gai is a great character, though. More of him here.

HowLong: Uh… how can Michio be your favorite character? He hasn't even had any lines yet. He might soon, but still… right now, there isn't much to like.

Patty: Whenever Sasuke and Kimimaro are in the same room, it's war. So expect another war in Chapter 25.

Serina L337 Mistress: I like writing about food. I just don't know why. Personally, I hate Peeps. Give me a s'more any day.

Remember, if you want a response, just give me something to respond _to_. The "this is great, update soon!" reviews are fun to get, but there isn't much for me to give a reply to.

----

Anko wasn't the sort of woman who had been looking to get married. While it was true that she had her share of lovers, she could count on one hand the number of them she had felt an actual emotional attachment to. One finger, really, as most of her old conquests had stormed off in a huff after she broke it off with them and she hadn't cared enough to mend the breach.

The one guy who had stuck around after she had dumped him had only done so because they had been friends before they became lovers and he didn't care enough about the lack of sex to get angry at her after she started looking for other options. Still, Anko had been fairly sure when Ibiki set her up on a blind date with Gai that her old flame was looking for a little payback, if only because Gai was not only himself, but totally unaware he was on a date to begin with. He thought they were just going to have a spar, and was thus completely caught off guard when his new sparring partner showed up in a dress.

Anko tended to look for two types of people when she was searching for someone to fool around with. Those like her who didn't think love had anything to do with sex (Ibiki) or those she could easily get rid of after the fact (the chuunin Izumo was a perfect example of this, since he was too timid to protest much when she left him the morning after). Gai didn't fit into either of those categories. He took sex more seriously than anyone Anko knew, had in fact refused to touch her until their wedding night out of some archaic sense of chivalry and morals, and he was also literally impossible to ditch, both physically and emotionally. Physically because he was faster than her, and emotionally because he possessed the annoying personality type that didn't have 'give up' in their vocabulary.

Gai was loud and annoying, two character traits people tended to associate with her as well, though in a completely different way. He was also ridiculously optimistic and seemed to lack any of the personality quirks (read: instability) that one associated with the rank of jounin. Not to say that Gai was normal. At first glance, he was further from normal than practically everyone else in Konoha. But that was only at first glance. You had to look 'underneath the underneath,' to steal one of Kakashi's catchphrases, to really understand that Gai was most likely the most emotionally balanced shinobi in Leaf Village. He relied on no one to be happy, was in fact almost as emotionally independent as Anko herself, but he wasn't detached. He cared so deeply about those close to him that it was a little unnerving. Anko had never had anyone that she would sacrifice herself for. Gai had five he would die for without thought and probably another ten that would receive the same courtesy after a few seconds' consideration. With that many precious people, Anko had always found it rather surprising that the jounin had survived as long as he had, considering their profession.

There was very little for a shinobi to smile about. In the past, Anko's grins had always come at the expense of other people's suffering, because one of the few constants in a shinobi's life was pain, and there was no reason she couldn't be pleased when that pain was someone else's and not her own. Some of the better times she remembered had been going out to drink with Ibiki after a night of assassination or torture, talking about their work over sake, as neither of them was the type to bury their lives as killers as soon their missions were over. Gai's smiles came out of genuine pleasure from someone's success or happiness, be it his own or Kakashi's or one of his numerous students' (not really so numerous, but any more than one brat seemed like too many to Anko). After she started dating him, Anko began to notice that her smiles now came from sources other than death. Not always. But sometimes. Sometimes, when Gai held her while they watched some wildly inaccurate Chinese martial arts movie in the dead of night, Anko could smile. Sometimes, when Gai entered into one of those ridiculous crying sessions with his prized pupil, Lee, that had nothing to do with grief, Anko was hard put to restrain a grin.

Their romance had started out as anything but love at first sight. Anko had found Gai amusing, but hadn't believed he possessed the rare inner strength to handle someone like her. So few people did. She had had no intention of ever seeing him again on anything but a friendly basis, and when Gai had sent her roses the next day, Anko had been fully prepared to leave him a polite (unusual for her, but Gai was really too nice a man to deserve her habitual brush-off) thanks, but no thanks message on his answering machine. But then she remembered something. Maito Gai's best friend was Hatake Kakashi. Suddenly, a relationship seemed a lot more plausible.

Anko had never told that particular tidbit to anyone, including Gai. The general populace as a whole would read too much into it, Ibiki would think she had an ulterior motive, and Gai just wouldn't get the connection. Anko had never dated Kakashi. She had, in fact, spoken to him a total of eight times in her entire life. Even so, Anko had always been good at reading people, and it was easy enough for her to tell that underneath the copy-nin's easy-going façade was a broken soul. One that was very possible even more lost to redemption than her own, that had stopped believing in a benevolent God so long ago that bitter laughter was the only response either Kakashi or Anko could give to expressions of faith, however sincere. Gai had been Kakashi's friend longer than anyone else alive. He was Kakashi's _only_ friend still alive, the only one who had survived the copy-nin's curse of a continual circle of promises and subsequent failure to live up to them. In the end, Anko had figured that if Gai could deal with being Hatake Kakashi's friend for nearly two decades, he could certainly take whatever Anko dished out. Anko had still left a message on Maito Gai's answering machine that night, but only because paperwork had made it impossible for her to accept the jounin's offer in person.

Though their association before had been limited, from the get-go Anko set parameters to their relationship, if only to keep herself from going completely insane. No sappy nicknames, for one, and for God's sake, Gai, if you mention, youth, righteousness and/or the shinobi way at any point while we are having a romantic moment, I will break your jaw. They had compromised on the first, Gai promising to restrict the metaphors involving flowers to the poisonous species only, and Anko over time had gotten used to comparisons between herself and oleander. After a few months, she had completely given up on the second condition, because trying to separate Gai and his random exclamations was like trying to remove the sugar content from ice-cream. It didn't work, and the few times it did, the end result was unbelievably bland.

The majority of their friends and comrades had been happy for them. True, Ibiki had snorted tea out his nose after Anko had told him that she and Gai were now exclusive, and the barely restrained grins whenever he saw them together were _not _appreciated, but he was perfectly willing to listen to her bitch about Gai's various eccentricities and remind her later that a penchant for waking up at four in the morning was not as bad as say, a fetish for blood, so if the 'idiot with the bowl cut' was willing to put up with _that_, well then. Many people had the mistaken belief that Ibiki had no sense of humor. They were wrong. He did. It was just twisted and sadistic, which was why the interrogator always finished that particular little sermon with a vicious smirk that said _you brought this upon yourself_. If she hadn't thought the bastard would have probably enjoyed it, a broken nose would have imminent upon the appearance of that particular smirk, but therein lay the problem with being friends with a masochist.

Lee had been so enthusiastic about the relationship between his beloved teacher and the special jounin that it had almost become a problem. However, that particular problem had soon been resolved when one Haruno Sakura had abruptly started paying more attention to the boy (not so abruptly, really, but Sakura's agreement to go out for some soba one afternoon had revived Lee's hopes of the kunoichi ever seeing him as more than a friend) and the random phone calls asking about her well-being had mostly stopped. Gai's other two students hadn't been quite so gung-ho, but Tenten occasionally came by Anko's apartment to discuss weapons maintenance with her and Neji refrained from looking at her with the disgust he reserved for pretty much everyone, so overall, things had worked out pretty well. Unfortunately, there was one person who was anything but amiable to their relationship. Hatake Kakashi.

Kakashi, somewhat fortunately, wasn't the type to come out and state his objections, for then Gai might have (God forbid) noticed his rival's coolness towards his girlfriend and started asking questions, but every glance the copy-nin sent her way had only said one thing: _You aren't good enough for him_. At first, Anko had found the genius's jealousy somewhat amusing, but after months passed with that look never changing, Anko just wanted to _hit _the man and yell at him for being such a damned _hypocrite_. Gai often gave her stories about his somewhat one-sided rivalry with Kakashi, and even through the filter of sunshine Gai saw almost everyone and everything, it had been blatantly obvious that most of the time, Kakashi had been callous, condescending, and occasionally outright_ cold_ when it came to Gai's various challenges and other such foolishness that the Lotus master used as a pretext to spend time with the genius. This factored in with the copy-nin's strange relationship with that one chuunin teacher that had lasted several months and died for no apparent reason screamed _denial_ on so many levels that Anko wasn't sure whether to pity to grey-haired jounin or do everything in her power to keep Gai away from him. In the end, she had done neither. She was patient when Gai came back to their apartment hours after he said he would with a puzzled expression and asking since _when_ had his beloved rival been so into waxing poetic, and the new ramen place hadn't been _that_ good that they needed to go eat there immediately, and he was sorry he had gotten back so late, but there hadn't been a payphone and he'd make it up to her by making those blueberry pancakes she liked so much for breakfast, please forgive him. So she had, but only after he agreed to squeeze out some fresh orange juice as well, to wash down the stickiness of the syrup.

As sad as it was that it had taken the imposition of a woman in Gai's life to get Kakashi to start noticing his rival, Anko would have really preferred it if he stopped coming around quite so often. When Gai was around, he ignored her. When Gai wasn't, he _still _ignored her, except now and again he sent her a rather antagonistic glare for flavor. As ridiculous as it sounded when Anko said it out loud, sometimes it felt like that Kakashi was now _her_ rival instead of Gai's, except now in a field that the copy-nin took much more seriously.

Anko should have hated him. She knew this. For the first time in _years_, Anko was happy, truly happy with no taint of desperation or insanity, and it was all because of Gai, because of his optimism, and strength, and the nonjudgmental way he wrapped her in his embrace when she walked into his room at three o'clock in the morning to just be around someone when her insomnia kept her awake, and the silence of the darkness made solitude too difficult to bear. Anko should have hated Kakashi for trying to take all that away from her. But she couldn't, because the genius hadn't had a chance to begin with. Gai loved Kakashi, but not in the way the copy-nin wanted, and never would love him in the way the copy-nin wanted. Anko should have thought Kakashi a fool for trying. But she couldn't, because she knew that in his position, she would be doing to exact same thing.

The day Gai announced to the world their engagement (if not the world, than pretty close, since Gai had someone obtained a loudspeaker for the occasion), Anko was standing next to her fiancé, and Kakashi was leaning against the wall on the other side of the room where Gai had gathered most of his friends to give them the news. When Gai spoke the words "My beloved Anko has agreed to marry me," his smile wide with the kind of unadulterated joy only the green-clad jounin could manage, Anko watched as something in Kakashi's only visible eye died.

After that, the copy-nin's attitude towards her changed. He wasn't… warm exactly, but it was plain he had accepted the fact that now there was no getting rid of her. Unlike Gai, Kakashi certainly knew the meaning of the words 'give up.'

Gai, on the other hand, hadn't noticed. Kakashi had been the best man at their wedding and one of the first people Gai called after they returned on their honeymoon. He was still Gai's favorite sparring partner and preferred advisor when it came to important life decisions. When it came right down to it, Kakashi was one of Gai's precious people and there was nothing that anyone could ever do to change that, so when Gai came home late the night of the Cloud/Mist invasion, Anko's first assumption was that he had been with Kakashi. She hadn't been worried for his safety, hadn't in fact had time to even spare a thought for her husband in all the chaos that followed the appearance of such a large enemy force. Anko had spent most of her time during the invasion helping Ibiki transfer Konoha's prisoners to the underground holding cells, staving off periodic attacks of small groups of Cloud-nin who had the misfortune to stumble upon two sadistic jounin in bad moods as Ibiki tried to get the more idiotic of his subordinates to listen to him and Anko tried to refrain from just killing the fools to speed the whole process along.

The entire experience had been unbelievably exhausting, but after it was finally all over and Anko had some time to think, she realized the invasion had brought a lot of things into perspective. The twelve year period between the Yondaime's sacrifice and the joint Sound/Sand attack during the Chuunin Exams had been a time of peace, unprecedented in shinobi history. It was, Anko now saw, also unlikely to be repeated. If the treaty with the Akatsuki succeeded, Konoha would gain numerous advantages over their enemies as well as access to some of the greatest warriors in the world, but the Akatsuki had enemies as well. It was likely the alliance would split the shinobi world in two, which could only lead to more war, years or decades of fighting, before a treaty could finally be reached, if it ever was. Anko herself was unlikely to see peace come again. She and her husband had put a lot of things on hold in the hopes of them truly starting their new life together after the fighting was over, but Anko could see now that had been a hopelessly naïve position to take. If they didn't start now, it wasn't going to happen. It was with this thought fresh in her mind that the special jounin drifted off to sleep.

It was only her shinobi training that allowed Anko to regain some awareness as Gai tiptoed into their apartment, the front door creaking slightly as it closed. He stripped quietly by their bed in an obvious attempt to avoid waking her, but watching Gai attempt to be silent was almost painful, so Anko saved her husband the effort.

"Where have you been? The Cloud and Mist retreated hours ago."

If he had been a normal man, Gai would have started at the sound of her voice, but his highly trained body had weeded out most of the impractical reflexes, so all he did was turn around and kiss her on the forehead. "Dinner with Sakura ran late. I'll tell you about it in the morning, my beautifully twisted poison ivy."

Too tired to offer much of a protest towards her husband's sparse explanation, Anko rolled back over and closed her eyes. "I'll hold you to that."

In the pitch darkness of the apartment, it was physically impossible to see anything more than a foot away, but Gai's smiles had the strange side-effect of seeming to glow in the dark, visible even through her eyelids. Or maybe the jounin was just predictable. "At first light you will hear of my travails. That's a promise."

----

Her troubled thoughts of the night before still bothered Anko the next day, making her unusually quiet at breakfast as Gai poured her a glass of his favorite health drink and chattered about his endeavors during and after the invasion while he pushed the scrambled eggs around in the pan with a spatula. It was during his rundown of dinner the night before- "Sakura felt depressed over the distance between her and her old teammates, so I urged her to end her inner turmoil by confronting those young men and breaching the gap of indifference that time has created!"- that the jounin finally took note of his wife's silence, but as Gai watched Anko stare at a wall as she swirled the fruit smoothie (with some protein powder added for some extra pep) around in its glass, he inadvertently trailed off in the middle of detailing the different ingredients in his favorite type of sushi served during yesterday's evening meal. Though Anko had obviously not been paying attention to his words, she had still been listening to the sound of his voice, as her eyes jerked immediately back to her husband as soon as Gai stopped speaking. "Gai, what's wrong?"

"I was about to ask you that, my beloved thorny rose. You seem distracted this morning."

"It's nothing…" Gai's gaze remained on her. He wasn't fooled. Not that Anko was trying to be particularly deceptive. "I'm lying. It isn't nothing. Gai, the attack yesterday got me thinking, and I realized something."

"What? What is it?"

"I want a child."

Gai's eyes went wide. "But Anko, we discussed this! We both agreed that it would be better to wait-"

"For a time it would be safe? Gai, it will never be safe for a kid to be born here. I want us to have a child. _Our_ child. A rugrat of our very own. And I can't wait any longer. It may never be the right time for a child to be born in Konoha, but it's the right time for _us_."

Gai's expression was an odd mix of hopeful and troubled. "But Anko… what if something happened?"

Anko deliberately misunderstood. "Well, if we have a daughter and she is unfortunate enough to be born with your eyebrows, that's what waxing is for."

Gai shook his head, ignoring the good-natured barb directed towards his person. "Not that. What if something happened to _us_? There isn't anyone who could…"

Anko smiled. "Gai, you're a jounin instructor who's about to take on a new group of brats. You won't be doing anything but D and C-ranked missions for years to come. I'm a special jounin and kept close to Konoha. Neither of us are likely to be put in any danger for a while. And if by some strange miracle we both did die, well, I have somebody in mind."

Gai still looked dubious. "As much as I love my dear rival, I don't believe Kakashi is very suited for the care of young children."

Anko rolled her eyes. "No, not Kakashi."

"Then who… oh no." Gai's face froze in an expression of absolute horror that would have been amusing in any other situation. "I will _not_ allow Ibiki within one hundred yards of any child of mine! An interrogator is not the proper role model for an impressionable child, and to think of how that man would handle a temper tantrum is just plain-"

"Not Ibiki either, Gai. He may be my best friend, but give me _some _credit. I'm not completely insane."

Gai blinked, now mystified. "Who is it exactly you have in mind, my beloved?"

Anko smiled. "Lee and Sakura."

If anything, this announcement was met with almost as much horror as the thought of Ibiki trying to change diapers. "Lee and Sakura are still in the prime of youth! As wonderful as they both are, to foist a child at them at such a young age would be a disservice to both them and our theoretical child that doesn't yet exist."

Anko gave an unconcerned shrug. "I've done the math." She started ticking points off on her fingers. "Most genin take four to six years to make it to chuunin, and that's if they're not completely hopeless, so you aren't in any danger of dying for several years. By then Lee and Sakura will most likely be married if their relationship doesn't fall apart, and having two loving parents is really the best environment for a child, anyway."

"But-"

"Gai, name one other person or couple who could possibly hope to raise our child to be a functional human being."

It was then that her husband conceded defeat. "There isn't anyone."

Anko grinned, satisfied at her victory. "Making them godparents would be a little premature when Sakura isn't even old enough to live alone yet, but that's what wills are for. Now than," and it was then that Anko's smile turned slightly lecherous, "I'm not due to meet up with Ibiki for several hours, so how about we start on our new project?"

For once, Gai got her meaning immediately and with all former doubts forgotten, returned her grin, though his was more loving than lecherous, since Gai couldn't pull off the pervert look to save his life. "No time like the present." He leaned in to give her a slow kiss over the table, placing the smoking pan of eggs on the counter as he did so. Anko was more than happy to reciprocate.

By the time the kiss was over, both of them were breathing heavily and all thoughts of breakfast had been cast away for another time. Gai beamed at her, his hair now rather uncharacteristically in disarray. However, the mood was somewhat ruined when her husband's bright smile suddenly turned thoughtful. "I've just remembered something."

By that point Anko wasn't thinking straight enough to get properly irritated, but she gave it some effort. "Now isn't the time, Gai."

Gai's expression remained contemplative. "No… this is important. Sakura told me last night that Tsunade was going to enter into negotiations with Otogakure." The bright smile returned. "With both the Akatsuki and the Sound as our allies, our children will be safer than ever! Isn't that wonderful Anko?" Anko didn't respond. Gai looked down at his wife, worried. "Anko?"

The special jounin had frozen, eyes wide and so still that Gai leaned in closer just to make sure his wife was still breathing. "Anko, is something wrong?"

Gai's proximity snapped Anko out of her daze as she took one look into her husband's eyes and forcibly pushed herself to her feet before walking towards the kitchen window that gave the best view of Konoha and just stood there, looking. Gai stared at his wife, puzzled by his wife's strange behavior. "Anko?"

"Don't ever say anything like that again, Gai."

"Anko, I don't-"

Anko turned back to face him, an almost imperceptible tremor shaking her frame. Her eyes gleamed oddly as if feverish. "Don't talk if all that comes out of your mouth is ignorant and naïve," she said coolly. "You would have to be dimwitted not to remember that Orochimaru murdered the Sandaime Hokage and orchestrated the invasion that destroyed _half_ our forces." Anko's seeming calm was rapidly beginning to dissolve. "He _tortured_ shinobi that should have been his comrades and called it research. He trained me as his only student for four years and then left me to _rot_ when he went off to form his village of freaks and broken children. Gaining the Sound as an ally wouldn't be _helpful_. It would be _suicide_. And you think-"

This time, it was Gai who froze. He had forgotten entirely that Anko had once been Orochimaru's disciple. In his eternal optimism, he had willfully forgotten about Orochimaru's reputation, and that Anko knew the sannin better than almost anyone alive. And knew exactly what he was capable of. "Anko, I'm sorry… I just…"

"I will not bring a child into a world where he might possible fall into the snake sannin's hands," Anko whispered, but her tone was so piercing the words carried easily across the room to Gai's ears. "War with the Cloud and Mist is one thing; Orochimaru is something else entirely. He isn't _human_ and doesn't _think_ like one and at the first opportunity, he would stab us all in the back and everyone will _die._ Forget about us. If Konoha allies with Otogakure, Sakura and Lee won't survive long enough to raise our child. Orochimaru will turn him into another one of his puppets. And no child of mine will serve under Orochimaru. _Ever_."

No matter how intense her words, Anko's eyes hadn't lost their gleam and the tremors had if anything increased, but just then she seemed to… give in. To what, Gai didn't know. "I'm sorry, Gai."

Gai shook his head. "Don't apologize, my lovely foxglove. You're right. We should wait until our child's safety is assured." He moved towards Anko cautiously, not sure how his wife would react to affection at such a time, but the special jounin didn't resist when he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "We'll wait. And one day…"

Anko's smile was bittersweet. "Yes. One day."

----

One of the last things Sasuke expected to see when he came to the hospital the morning after the invasion and walked into Sakon's room (somewhat clumsily getting the door open, since his hands were full and the ANBU guards didn't look inclined to help) was his subordinate sitting up in his bed, still covered in bandages, staring rather mournfully into a hand mirror. Inadvertently, Sasuke winced, and inwardly vowed to kick the ass of the person who had been stupid enough to give the older Sound-nin a mirror when he still looked like he had been hit by a truck, subsequently run over, then doused with gasoline and set on fire. To say the least, Sakon was not currently at his prettiest.

The white-haired shinobi glanced up as he noticed his commander's arrival, but after a few seconds of eye contact, Sakon's gaze returned to the mirror and he gave a small sigh. Sasuke stood in the doorway, feeling awkward. "Sakon…"

"Even though I can see it now, I still find it hard to believe the damage was so extensive." Though the Sound-nin's voice was calm, it had an edge of hysteria to it that probably had a great deal to do with the stress Sakon had been under lately. Or perhaps it was just plain sleep deprivation.

Sasuke maneuvered around the bed to place his package on the bedside table before moving to stand beside his subordinate. "Sakon, it isn't…" Screw it. He had never been good at lying (at least to other people) and he wasn't suddenly going to gain some talent at it now. "It will get better."

"Better? Are you kidding? It took me _years_ to get my hair to look just right, and now the edges have all been singed off and the rest of it has that nasty burnt-hair smell! Now I have to grow it out all over again."

Sasuke blinked, not sure he had heard right. "You're depressed over your hair."

"Of course I am! For God's sake, it's been _blackened_ to a foul-smelling crisp."

"The rest of you looks even worse."

Sakon gave him his patented 'you are being an idiot' blank glare. "Sasuke-sama, if I got angry over some scars, there would be no place for me as a shinobi. I learned years ago that you have to pick your points of pride."

"And why the hell is yours your hair?"

"Because as depressing as it is now to look like the poster boy for fire safety, it will grow back. Everything else I've decided to accept as expendable."

In some twisted way, that made a lot of sense. But mostly not. Sasuke gave his subordinate a disbelieving stare. "You are completely insane."

Sakon's response was somewhat distracted. "Actually, I'm just rather heavily drugged and I feel a little nauseous." There was a short pause as Sasuke watched Sakon try to kick start his higher brain functions. "I think it's because I haven't eaten in thirty-six hours."

Sakon's last comment belatedly reminded Sasuke of something. He reached over to the box waiting on the nearby table and picked it up before pulling off the ribbon keeping it closed. "If you're hungry, here."

There was a momentary silence as Sakon stared at the plethora of pastries stacked in neat rows along the length of the box. His gaze flickered from the food to Sasuke and back again, before finally settling on Sasuke. "What is this?"

Sasuke shrugged, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. "I ate at the pastry shop on the corner for breakfast, and I've been in the hospital enough to know the food is terrible. You wanted some yesterday, didn't you?"

Sakon looked down. "I hadn't thought you'd noticed."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, inexplicably feeling a little insulted. "I _always_ notice."

Even under the curtain of what remained of Sakon's hair, Sasuke could still see the slight sneer gracing his subordinate's lips. "Of course. I'd forgotten. You notice everything. You just never _care_."

Sasuke felt his grip on the box tighten. "Fine, I'll throw them out."

Sakon's gaze rose to again meet Sasuke's, his eyes narrowed and unreadable. "That isn't the point," he said. "I didn't deserve what you did to me yesterday. I don't _care_ if you're my commander, if you start acting like Kimimaro I'll start _treating_ you like Kimimaro, and you know how well _he_ fairs when he starts giving out orders." Despite Sakon's harsh words, his tone was carefully modulated. Each sharp emphasis sounded like breaking glass.

Sasuke's confusion tempered the instinctual cold rage he felt at the comparison to his most hated rival. "What?"

"So you notice everything but you remember nothing, is that how it is? Or did it register so little on the importance scale for you that it wasn't worth another thought?"

Sasuke barely resisted the urge to grab his subordinate and start shaking him to get some answers. Instead, he carefully placed the box of pastries back on bedside table and took a deep breath to regain some control of himself before turning back to the older Sound-nin. "What are you talking about, Sakon?"

Sasuke could practically hear his subordinate's teeth grit as he responded in low, biting tones. "You made me beg. You made me beg you to stop ripping my fucking _soul_ out while you ground me into the dirt. I never let my feelings get in the way of the mission, and I didn't then, but it's been twenty-four hours since you activated my curse seal to Level Three and I can _still_ feel the backlash. I don't know what the hell made you act so strangely yesterday, but you and I both know you took your frustration out on me. I may have deserved to be punished for my cheek, but you made me _beg_."

Sasuke felt his mouth drop open involuntarily. He _had_ forgotten about the incident of the previous morning. Finding out Naruto was still alive, the Cloud/Mist invasion, the battle against the Cloud ANBU commander, Kimimaro's unexpected appearance, all of it had made it impossible for any extemporaneous information to process, and he had been too tired the night before to do anything but fall flat on his face and into blissful unconsciousness. Of course, by Sakon's reaction to the pastries, he had mostly forgotten about that unfortunate encounter as well, but it did make Sasuke feel slightly stupid that he had remembered Sakon's longing look as the man stared at the pastry shop from their perch in the trees but had forgotten that he had tortured his subordinate until he had heard pleas of mercy less than two hours before their encounter with Naruto. It wasn't the pain that Sakon had hated, Sasuke knew, but the humiliation. The last person Sasuke wanted to be like was Kimimaro, with his predisposition for abusing the power given to him by taking out his issues on his subordinates. Sasuke would do almost anything to differentiate himself from the Kaguya prodigy. However, Sasuke knew there were several areas in which his talents were lacking. Like how to swallow his pride. But he remembered the distance between himself and Sakon in the first year of their acquaintance, the total lack of connection. The total lack of _anything_. For all Sasuke preferred privacy to the company of other people, he was stuck with Sakon (though if he was trying to be honest with himself, he had stopped minding _that_ years ago) and it was far more miserable being in the older Sound-nin's company when they were at odds than when they actually had some sort of understanding. And if returning to that understanding meant he had to admit he had been wrong for once… well, sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the cause.

After several seconds of prep time in order to ready himself for what seemed to Sasuke like an inordinately difficult task, he took the plunge. "Sakon… I'm sorry. You did not deserve to be punished like that yesterday. I would ask you to forgive me."

For a moment, the older Sound-nin stared at his commander with a thoughtful frown, considering the sincerity of the Uchiha's words (though Sakon had become very good at gauging Sasuke's tone in their years together, the boy could still mask sarcasm like a pro). Presently, he leaned towards the table by his bed, expertly picking up two chocolate glazed doughnuts. He offered one to Sasuke. "Feel like chocolate?"

Sasuke stared at the doughnut in bemusement. He hadn't expected fireworks or anything, but still… "Is that it, then?"

"Do you need a formal declaration?"

Well, at least Sakon's cynicism was back in full force. Not that it really improved Sasuke's mood. "I just _apologized_."

Sakon rolled his eyes. "I know. I may be partially blind right now, but I'm not deaf."

"So?"

"So I forgive you. Taking the fucking doughnut already. My arm is starting to hurt."

Briefly, Sasuke considered reminding Sakon that he had already eaten breakfast, but in the end decided that would just destroy the whole symbolism of the thing. Well, that and he could never refuse chocolate.

Sakon was already through his first pastry and was working on his second (a croissant this time) and Sasuke was halfway through his chocolate doughnut when they both heard a commotion outside. All Sasuke could make out was the faint sound of feet pounding on the linoleum and some yelling, but he couldn't really tell what was going on. "Sakon, who…"

The older Sound-nin cocked his head to one side for a moment before shrugging and shoving the rest of the croissant in his mouth. "Just that one friend of yours. Naruto."

Sasuke blinked. "Naruto?"

It was just then that the shinobi in question slid across the floor in the waiting room adjacent to Sakon's room before shoving the ANBU in front of Sakon's door to the side and pulling on the door handle. His expression brightened when he caught sight of Sasuke. "Hey, so the receptionist wasn't giving me crap after all! About time I found you. I've been looking for forever." The Akatsuki's eyes lit up as his gaze fell upon the box of pastries. "Hey, is that a strawberry tart?" He reached for the sweet in question, but his hand was slapped away rather roughly by Sakon. Naruto sent a hurt look the Sound-nin's way. "Hey…"

"You have terrible manners. These are _mine_. You can't just take one."

Naruto grumbled, but in the end succumbed. "Fine, fine… can I have the strawberry tart?"

"No."

"But you just said-"

"This is the only thing I have to live off of until I get out of here. Go find something else to eat."

"But I haven't- but you gave Sasuke- I thought they served the patients meals here."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Naruto, hospital food is terrible. Sakon would probably die if he tried to eat that garbage on a regular basis."

Naruto shrugged. "Actually, I thought the food here was pretty good when I got dinner from the cafeteria yesterday."

Sakon snorted. "Then you eat it."

Naruto gave a sulky hmpf. "Fine, if you're going to be selfish when you have over twenty pastries, I will." He stalked huffily towards the door before stopping abruptly at the threshold. "Wait a second." He turned back around. "Sasuke, I just came to tell you we're leaving."

The Uchiha raised one eyebrow. "Are you trying to tell me the negotiations are over already?"

The Akatsuki looked confused. "Negotiations? What do the negotiations have to do with… oh." The blond shinobi rubbed the back of his head, looking slightly embarrassed. "Ah, we're not _all_ going. Just me and Gaara. We have a mission that might last a couple of weeks, and I thought I'd just… you know. Say goodbye before we left."

Sasuke snorted. "Why bother?"

Naruto glanced at the far wall. "Well… you know Sakon, I think you look better than yesterday. Not so completely thrashed. The Lady Hokage does good work."

"My hair is beyond saving, though."

The Akatsuki gave the Sound-nin an odd look, obviously not sure if he was joking or not. "Er… well, yeah. Anyway, I-"

It was just then that someone began pounding on the door. "Oy! No more than one visitor at a time! Get out of there, you brats!"

Naruto gave a quick grin. "Man, the Lady Hokage's assistant is kind of pushy, isn't she?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You just noticed?" He started towards the door. Naruto followed, but gave Sakon a short wave over his shoulder as he did so, leaving the older Sound-nin alone in the room, contemplating what would be the easiest way to get a hold of a pair of scissors.

Even with his face covered by a mask, the ANBU guard still managed to give them a dirty look as they passed, still smarting from the lecture he had received from Shizune for letting Naruto in the room (not that he had really had much of a choice). Both Akatsuki and Sound-nin ignored him, though Naruto gave Shizune a cocky grin and mock salute as they walked past. "Great guards you have here, most honorable secretary." It was perhaps only an expression of the great deal of stress she had been under lately, or maybe just a lapse in good judgment that caused the Hokage's assistant to flip him off in return.

It was with a destination in mind that Sasuke led his former teammate towards the stairs, going up three flights before finally stopping on the roof. The Sound-nin moved past all the laundry drying on the lines and finally stopped to lean against the chain linked fence that bordered the edge of the roof, closing his eyes as he relaxed. The only sound was the flapping of sheets as the wind pushed them taut, Sasuke not looking inclined to talk and Naruto not sure what to say.

"Eh, Sasuke… are you even going to be here when we get back?"

Sasuke shrugged, not bothering to open his eyes. "Probably not. I've already made plans for my return to Otogakure. There is no place in Konoha for me anymore."

"Well then… I'm probably going to be stuck here a while longer after we get back from our mission, but when all this negotiation crap is done and over with and we're back in Kaizen, I'll give you a call. Maybe we can set up a spar somewhere, just for old time's sake."

The Uchiha smirked. "When Sakon's brother died, the treaty between the Akatsuki and Sound was ratified to forbid fighting of any kind between their forces to avoid another incident. I doubt Orochimaru would allow me to risk my life during something as trivial as a sparring session with an old comrade, and quite frankly I don't care enough to argue with him. I no longer measure myself against you, Naruto. I don't need to know how good you are."

Naruto wasn't sure whether he was supposed to be offended or not that Sasuke no longer considered him a rival. After a few seconds of contemplation, he decided to think about that issue at a different time and ask about something else that had been bothering him lately. "Who did kill Sakon's brother, anyway?"

The Uchiha gave another shrug. "I don't know any names. I was only made aware of some of the details later. It wasn't my brother or his partner, and it was an elite, so considering it happened over three years ago it couldn't have been you or Gaara."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Well, duh. I thought it was obvious I had never met Sakon before."

Sasuke continued on as if he hadn't had heard him. "Now who else is there in the elite, Naruto?"

"Uh…" Naruto scratched his cheek and thought. "Well, there was Kado and Ayame, but they're dead and neither of them were much for sparring anyway. Sasori… no. Not him. He wouldn't waste his time on it either. I doubt it was Deidara… her victims tend to end up in pieces if they're within a mile of the explosion, and Sakon isn't dead… so it was probably… damn." Naruto scowled as the name came to him. "Had to have been Yasuo, the fucker, though I don't know what Gin was doing at the time."

One of the Uchiha's eyes cracked open. "The partner was there as well. I know that much."

"That isn't… well. I don't know much of anything about those two, actually. Only that Yasuo is bat shit insane in the creepy sort of way that you can't tell most of the time that all of his screws are loose, and that Gin isn't… really all there."

Sasuke's interest had been piqued. "How so?"

Naruto crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side as he considered the best way to describe the older Akatsuki elite. "Let's see… you know how your brother is apathetic as all hell? Multiply that by like, a billion. I mean, his brain works okay, but nothing else up there does. Emotional lobotomy. So Gin sometimes, to keep Yasuo under control… lets him… do what he wants, to make sure he's stable on missions, I guess."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "And your leader accepted a man who was clearly insane into the ranks of the Akatsuki elite?"

Naruto shrugged, suddenly feeling a little defensive on Hirayama Reiko's behalf. "Well, it isn't like the elite have to command anyone. That's the council's job. And since Gin keeps Yasuo in line long enough to complete assignments, I don't think sanity is really a prerequisite."

Sasuke gave a low laugh. "How odd the Akatsuki is arranged. The most powerful have no actual power."

Naruto snorted. "That's because we don't need to. No mission ever has more than four shinobi assigned to it, anyway. Doesn't need more. And who the hell wants to attend meetings on resource management? Because that's all the council does, and it's fucking boring."

"I just find it amusing that despite your lofty title, my _bodyguard_ receives more respect in his home village than you do in yours."

"Respect? I'll show you respect, you snotty-" It was then that Naruto's traveling bag started to vibrate. Sasuke stared as Naruto stopped talking mid-rant and yanked open his pack to pull out a headset, which he then promptly put to his ear. "Hello?" A voice responded, though Sasuke was too far away to hear anything but a low mumble. "I know I'm late, Gaara… no, there isn't anything wrong, Sasuke and I were just arguing- talking, I mean talking! No, you don't need to come to the hospital, I'll be at the gates in a few minutes… no, I won't get held up, it isn't that far away… see you in a bit." Naruto clicked off the headset with a grumble about obsessive-compulsive, pushy comrades before placing the communications device back in his bag and turning to go. "I've got to go, Sasuke. I'll set up an appointment to kick your ass later."

"You're welcome to try."

Naruto smirked and walked off towards the stairs, the door closing with a _click_ behind him.

----

So much was Naruto in a hurry to get to Gaara before he came looking for him that he didn't even notice Sakura waiting on the landing until he was halfway down the first flight of stairs. It was the sound of her voice, hesitantly calling out his name that caused him to nearly lose his balance and tumble down the remaining steps. As it was, at the speed he was going it took some creative use of the railing to spin around and face her without falling on his face.

"Sakura?"

A quiet smile. "You need to work on your situational awareness, Naruto."

Naruto laughed. "That's the reason I'm paired with Gaara. But Sakura, what are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you. And maybe Sasuke-kun, but he can wait."

Four years ago, Sakura expressing any preference of him over Sasuke would have been the highlight of Naruto's month, but Sakura had made her choice, and it hadn't been either of them. "What do you want to talk to me about, Sakura?"

"Just to say goodbye, before you go on your mission. And to wish you good luck."

Naruto blinked. "How could you know about that? It was just assigned yesterday."

"What other reason would you be going to meet Gaara at the gates?"

So she had been listening to their conversation. And wasn't even putting any effort into hiding her eavesdropping. "You got me there, I guess. But why are you… aren't you still angry at me?"

Sakura shook her head. "I think if I had thought about it a little more, I wouldn't have yelled at you in the pastry shop. If you had told anyone you were alive, it could have ruined your life. It wasn't like you were singling me out to be ignored. And you aren't a bad person, Naruto, even though I still think you should have come back to us at the earliest opportunity. And good people should be wished good luck before they go into danger. And told to do their best, just to help luck along a little." The chuunin gave him a thumbs up. "So do your best, and come back alive, okay? If Sasuke-kun is leaving, I suppose we will never have a true reunion, but promise me we will go out for ramen after your return. I want to know you again, if you would let me."

Naruto smiled, and mimicked her pose. "We will go out for ramen, Sakura-chan. It's the promise of a lifetime! Or, erm, at least of the next few weeks." On impulse, he stepped forward and pulled her into a quick hug before giving her a light kiss on the cheek. His grin grew a little mischievous at the sight of her slight blush. "Couldn't resist, Sakura-chan. Don't tell fuzzy eyebrows, okay? Wouldn't want to have to beat up your boyfriend in self-defense."

"I won't tell Lee, Naruto. Just don't get any ideas."

For a moment, the old teammates just stood there, smiling at old feelings and memories, but Naruto's bag again began to vibrate, and the blond shinobi's eyes widened. "Oh hell. Got to go, Sakura-chan! See you in a few weeks!" The kunoichi heard the Akatsuki's last words only as an echo as Naruto leapt over the railing and dropped three flights in an attempt to speed his progress, soon falling out of sight.

Even after Naruto's departure, Sakura stood on the landing, unmoving. This had been her goodbye to Naruto. But Sasuke… Sasuke wasn't gone. Not yet. And Sakura still hadn't decided whether that particular bridge was worth the effort of mending. So after one last glance at the door which was the only thing separating her and her one-time crush, Sakura turned around and started down the stairs. It was about time she visited Lee, anyway.

----

After Kimimaro gave his report, there was a moment of silence as Orochimaru thoughtfully stared out the window towards the grand view of Otogakure (though Otogakure currently wasn't so grand, as it was still in the beginning stages of rebuilding). Kabuto stood near his lover, watching the sannin intently as if to glean the man's intentions off the planes of his face. It wasn't long until Orochimaru turned to look down upon the commander of the majority of Sound's forces, currently kneeling on the stone floor, though for once it wasn't apparent if he did so out of respect for his master or out of a need to keep from falling on his face. Kabuto could sympathize, in a vague, impersonal sort of way. Making the round trip from Otogakure to Konoha in something less than sixteen hours would be an impossible endeavor for most shinobi and still unimaginably trying for those with the necessary speed and stamina. If Kabuto didn't know better (and he did, as extended medic training had enabled him to tell a patient's temperature by a mere glance) he would have thought the Kaguya's disease had come out of remission at full force by the way the pale shinobi shivered in the warm room and breathed raggedly as if each breath was his last.

"You are sure Sasuke-kun was sincere in his insinuation of Tsunade being amiable towards an alliance with Otogakure."

Kimimaro nodded. "Yes, Orochimaru-sama. From my observations of him, Sasuke is not inclined towards statements without some modicum of truth, even if his intention was to provoke me."

"Did you make Sasuke-kun aware of the recent invasion attempt by the Stone?"

Kimimaro shook his head. Orochimaru frowned thoughtfully. "This is… something to consider. If Sakon is indeed wounded, it should be some time before Sasuke-kun returns to Otogakure." The sannin walked over towards his desk and pulled out a scroll and a pen before sitting down and starting to write. Though his head was bowed, Kimimaro raised his gaze to watch his master. Kabuto didn't even bother to hide his interest and walked over towards Orochimaru's desk, but a short glare from the sannin stopped the medic-nin in his tracks and elicited an apologetic grin. After a few minutes, Orochimaru rewrapped the scroll and pushed himself to his feet before walking over and handing it to Kimimaro. "Return to Konoha and give this scroll to Sasuke-kun. Allow no one else to see it. Leave immediately."

Kimimaro took the scroll without a word in protest and moved towards the door. While Kabuto lacked the fine hearing most of the inhabitants of Sound Village possessed, he could still hear the faint sound of the Kaguya muttering what would have been, if the man had been anyone but himself and therefore loyal to the point of obsession, "Ah shit. I can't believe I have to make this trip _again_."

Kabuto sent an inquiring glance Orochimaru's way. The sannin had one eyebrow raised, looking somewhat amused, though it was impossible to tell why. Finally, Kabuto spoke. "It might have been prudent to let Kimimaro-kun rest before he made the return journey to Konoha."

Orochimaru made a gesture to the negative. "Kimimaro isn't going to like the contents of the scroll. It is best that he have as little chakra as possible when he hands the message to Sasuke-kun." The sannin's lips quirked. "It will save on medical costs."

"So you are going to set up a meeting with the Hokage after all." Kabuto gave a quiet, unbelieving sigh. "I never thought it possible."

Orochimaru gave his lover a pointed stare. "You still don't. You never heard what transpired in this room. If I discover one word of this has reached Reiko's ears, you will-"

"Soon find myself one head short." Kabuto gave a quick smile. "I know the drill when dealing with informants, Orochimaru-sama. I was your second for years, remember?"

Orochimaru turned back towards the window. "Actually, you sleeping on the couch for several months was more what I had in mind, but decapitation works just as well as a motivator, I suppose." The sannin returned to his desk and pulled out a scroll detailing the costs of replacing the main water line destroyed in the Stone's attack, a clear dismissal of the medic, but even so, Kabuto couldn't help but shake his head slightly in disbelief before turning and exiting the room. Sometimes he really didn't understand his lover's sense of humor.

----

Naruto was halfway to his destination when his headset started vibrating again. Landing neatly on a rooftop, Naruto hissed something uncharitable about shinobi who misused equipment before pulling the communications device out of his bag once more and shouting loudly into the mouthpiece. "_What_?"

"Itachi came to the gate looking for you. He is now on his way to the hospital. Are you out of there yet?"

Naruto cursed, more out of relief at the near shave with the Uchiha genius than from irritation. "Yeah, I'm almost at Konoha's entrance. What did he want?"

"He knows about the Raijin."

"_You told him-_"

"No. He found out from someone else. I suggest we leave as promptly as possible."

Naruto shuddered at the thought of facing a furious Itachi without Kisame around to act as referee. Some things were just too horrible to consider. "Good idea."


	25. Gaining Ground

Author's Note: You know, as happy as I am that FFN is trying to improve the site, there are some glitches and some just plain stupid ideas. The glitches seem to be that they left Kisame, Ukon, Dosu and Zaku out of the main character selection process (I can sort of understand forgetting the Sound-nin, but Christ, how could you remember Kin but not Kisame?) Also, apparently I'm no longer allowed to respond to reviews in the story, but now have to reply to each review individually. I'm sorry, but not a chance. That would take forever, and several of my reviewers review anonymously, so it's just impractical. And incredibly stupid. What, have people complained or something? What were the FFN people thinking? It isn't that much of a detraction from the flow, since the Author's Note is usually in one big chunk. However, several people have asked if this is going to become a Naruto/Gaara story since apparently they linked to here through a Naruto/Gaara archive. To answer them, no. Their relationship is going to remain platonic. And to all my other reviewers, I apologize, and I read and love all your reviews, but I don't want to spend the time replying to you when I could be doing something constructive. Like finishing my Jiraiya/Orochimaru challenge fic, for instance, which is due in two weeks and I'm only half finished with.

On another note, the Naruto section of FFN now has character listings. I will obviously list Naruto as one of the main characters, but does anyone have any opinions on who the other main character should be? I have no idea, myself.

And yes, I know, it's been forever and a day (or rather two months) since I've updated this last, but there have been other projects (my crack pairing thing), classes (Calculus), work (monotonous to the extreme; thank God I quit last week), etc. So… yeah. I've been busy. Usual apologies, and thank you for your patience, as this marks the breaking of the 100,000 word line, the twenty-five chapter line… and other stuff that I won't bore you with. Please enjoy.

----

Sakon's visual search of his room revealed nothing sharp that could substitute for a pair of scissors. Not that he expected anything different, really. The Godaime Hokage wasn't stupid and wouldn't leave a potential weapon within the reach of a… alright, Sakon didn't know exactly what he was, but it wasn't somebody you just handed a weapon in the middle of a building full of injured shinobi. Of course, Sakon wasn't stupid, either, and the only possible reason he would go on a rampage, slaughtering any Leaf-nin he could find, considering the present circumstances, would be if one of the Hokage's assistants had mixed up his medication and accidentally pumped him up with very potent stimulants. This was rather unlikely, but the Godaime couldn't possibly be expected to know what his temperament was like. For all she knew, he was just another version of Kimimaro, only with better hair.

Sakon's shoulders slumped. At least, he used to have better hair than Kimimaro. Now it looked like he had been struck by a lightning bolt and his hair had suffered the brunt of the attack. Which was pretty much exactly what had happened. It still didn't change the fact that every time he glanced into the hand mirror a medic-nin had leant him (after much prodding and the extensive use of Kidoumaru's best 'hug me, I'm a cuddle-muffin' face, which Sakon had unfortunately been forced to borrow, seeing as he lacked that particular expression in his repertoire), Sakon felt the overwhelming urge to… cut his hair. Or cry, but no matter how much makeup he used, Sakon was very aware of the fact that he was a guy, and guys didn't cry over their hair, even if they had grown it out for years to get it just right only to have their work ruined in something less than five seconds by a complete psycho. Sakon didn't bother sorting it out in his head whether the psycho he was thinking of was Takamura Kenji or Uchiha Sasuke, since they were both, in their own way, completely responsible for what had happened.

Of course, none of this solved the immediate dilemma, that being he still didn't have any scissors and he wasn't likely to get any while he was stuck in bed. However, Sakon was a problem-solver, and though the thought of trying to stand up made him feel ill, he knew he wasn't in nearly as bad shape as he thought he was. Though he lacked Kabuto's uncanny regenerative abilities, Sakon still healed far more quickly than was usual. This unfortunately tended to make painkillers wear off hours before they were supposed to, but it did occasionally come in handy.

Sakon carefully shifted his body until his feet touched on the cool linoleum floor. Sakon hissed at the feel of it, though more in relief than at the sudden shock of cold. The parts of his body where the skin had cracked and blackened felt like they were on fire. The desire to just lie down and let some of the chill of the floor seep into his skin was almost irrepressible. But in the end, narcissism conquered the childish yearning for comfort, and Sakon pushed himself to his feet, stumbling slightly before balancing himself against the bedside dresser, his hand bumping against the box of pastries, and allowed himself time to regain his equilibrium. Luckily, it didn't take long, and soon Sakon was making his way towards the door, though not before grabbing the pastries as an afterthought. Call him paranoid, but judging by the way that one medic-nin had been eyeing the croissants as he went through the motions of an examination, Sakon wasn't willing to take any chances regarding his food supply.

Sakon had to restrain a grin at the way the ANBU standing to the left of the doorway jerked around as Sakon stepped through the threshold, but he managed to resist the compulsion. Alienating his guard in the first few moments of their acquaintance wouldn't be the best way to begin the process of asking the man a favor. This was doubly true in this instance because Sakon's other warden, who, from what the Sound-nin had managed to hear through the heavy wooden doors, had left his shift early to go get a drink and bitch to his comrades about the cussing out the Hokage's assistant had put him through, was something of a hard ass.

"Do you have a pair of scissors I can borrow?"

The ANBU (whose mask, some distant part of Sakon's brain noted, was stylized after some kind of feline) took several seconds to answer, but when he finally spoke, it became evident that the man was far from slow. "I was informed that your injuries would prevent you from bothering me for at least another day. Can't I get you some sedatives instead so we can pretend that this encounter never happened and you're still unconscious on the other side of this door?" On another day, Sakon might have actually appreciated the ANBU's wit, but as it happened, he was rather heavily drugged and was in no mood to applaud the man for his excellent use of sarcasm.

"Not unless the narcotics you Leaf-nins use double as hair stylists in their spare time."

The ANBU sighed and rubbed the back of his head. Sakon wondered how someone who put absolutely no effort towards concealing his emotions ended up in the assassination corps. "Listen, I can't just leave you here while I go get you something to cut your hair. It's not just to stop you from carrying out whatever nefarious mission those old fogies on the council are paranoid about this week, but for your own protection. I mean, even if you're healing more quickly than Hokage-sama bargained, your still in no shape to do much if some jounin who lost someone in the invasion four years ago came after you. I mean, hell, if you died when I went to go get you _scissors_, of all things, the chewing out Shizune gave Kanaye will look like a romp through a field of daisies, so it just isn't practical."

Sakon waited for the ANBU to run out of things to say before he said his piece. "You really do talk too much." Surprisingly, the ANBU didn't take offense, but just shrugged and waited for Sakon to finish. "If you're worried about me getting killed, just show me where the store room is and you can stand guard there. I need some clothes anyway."

The Leaf assassin gave another shrug. "Sounds fine with me, but are you sure you can make it that far? Your eyes aren't focusing properly."

Either the Godaime had not been responsible for choosing his escorts or she had a strange sense of humor. On one hand was Captain Stick-Up-His-Ass (whose real name was apparently Kanaye, though it really didn't suit him at all), on the other was someone entirely too laid back to be believed. "I'm fine."

The ANBU shrugged again, a move that was rapidly establishing itself as his primary form of body language. "You're lying, but that's alright. Catching you if you fall on your face is all part of the job." He made his way towards the door immediately on their left. "One of the smaller storerooms is this way, but it should have everything you need. Just follow me."

This was entirely too easy to be real. Briefly, Sakon considered the possibility that this ANBU was one of the revenge-obsessed jounin the man had spoken of earlier and was trying to lure him away to make it easier to kill him without interference, but dismissed it as unlikely. It would cast far too much suspicion on the ANBU if Sakon died during his watch for an assassination attempt to be very feasible, but still… it seemed odd. Not that he was going to press the issue. Strange the ANBU's attitude might have been, but it was preferable to the alternatives. Like, say, still being stuck in bed without any scissors and the hair from hell. Or having to listen to the other guard mutter under his breath for another six hours. Or being dead. Yes, having to follow this ANBU around was definitely preferable to being dead. By how much depended on whether they actually managed to get to the storeroom before anyone noticed they were gone.

----

Naruto soon discovered that there were some problems associated with scavenging a map from the Akatsuki stronghold's historical archives as opposed to getting one standard like everyone else. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, because the maps issued out to the Akasuki active were covered with so many esoteric symbols that it required about six hours of instruction to learn how to read them. Naruto had quite purposefully skipped out on that tutoring session to avoid having to learn from a guy whose teaching methods made Naruto long for the day when Ebisu had thrown him into a hot spring that nearly roasted him alive to show him how to water walk. Seeing as the older maps used actual words instead of a little squiggly line to show the location of a forest, he hadn't regretted it until now.

Naruto looked at the map, then glanced up briefly to squint at some distinguishing landmarks before looking back down at the map again. They were in the right place (rock formations, at least, altered little throughout the millennia and therefore made decent markers with which to pinpoint your location), but where there should have been a town was… well… nothing. Okay, not exactly nothing, what with the field of grass and dandelions with a few strange stone outcroppings here and there, but close enough. "Isn't there supposed to be a town around here?"

Gaara, who had been standing by passively, staring out at the meadow that really shouldn't have been there as Naruto perused his map, shifted his eyes to look down at the outdated chart for a few seconds before returning his gaze to the grass field. "The town of Suganuma ceased to exist sixty-three years ago."

Naruto blinked. Obviously Gaara had actually read all those historical texts Reiko-sama had assigned them when she discovered their knowledge of history was somewhat lacking. Naruto hadn't bothered, but when he thought about it, the name Suganuma did ring a bell in his head. "Oh yeah… wasn't it a famine that wiped all the people out?"

"Plague."

If Gaara ever bothered to rub in his superior comprehension of, well, pretty much everything, Naruto might have resented him for it, but Gaara was Gaara, and that made it bearable, even if the former Sand-nin did have that one blank stare that made Naruto want to hit him. Gaara's disinclination towards mentioning important details didn't do much for Naruto either. "You could have mentioned something earlier, you know."

Gaara blinked slowly. "I would have had you told me where we were headed."

Since his partner had a point, Naruto dropped the issue and returned to examining the chart. "Well, at least Ainokura looks close enough that we should make it before the sun sets-"

"Destroyed forty-six years ago. They harbored a missing-nin. Leaf hunter-nin killed all the villagers."

Naruto resisted the urge to sigh. "Not there, then." It took longer this time to find a town that wasn't too out of their way. "Ogimachi isn't more than two or three days away if we hurry up a bit-"

"That was the town that was ravaged by famine. Forty-one years ago. All the survivors moved seaward."

Naruto stared incredulously at his partner, who stared back with no perceptible expression change except a slight quirk to his lip. "You're kidding."

"Even I'm aware that this isn't very funny."

This time around, Naruto didn't bother to restrain his sigh. "Well, shit. Konoha looks to be a rougher country to live in than I thought. You'd think so close to Konohagakure there'd be more people."

Gaara looked at him for a moment. "Very few civilians want to live near a village of assassins. The risk of getting stuck in the crossfire of a shinobi war is too great."

Naruto thought about it. Depressing as it was, Gaara was right, as he tended to be most of the time (at least concerning anything that didn't have to do with living, breathing people). After taking one last look at his map, Naruto tossed the useless piece of (recently laminated to aid in preservation) parchment to one side. It might have been wiser to keep it until they returned to Kaizen then put it back in the historical archives, but it had been six months and since no one had noticed its absence yet, Naruto doubted they would notice it later. "I suppose we'll just keep on walking and hope for the best, then." It was a perfectly terrible idea, Naruto knew, especially since the northern regions of the Cloud country where it just so happened the hidden village was located was so damned _cold_ and both Naruto and Gaara lacked proper clothing for the journey, but he didn't have a better plan. Fortunately, Gaara did.

It was with the perfect equanimity that Gaara usually only exuded after a very long and thorough meditation session (this really should have tipped Naruto off that something weird was going on, since Gaara hadn't had time to meditate that morning, but such deduction had always been somewhat beyond the blond shinobi) that the former Suna-nin unzipped his backpack and pulled out a standard issue Akatsuki map, complete with large numbers of esoteric symbols. "Tsumago is close enough for our purposes. Four days away. Supplies cold weather gear for travelers, as well."

Naruto looked at the map. There were no kanji for 'Tsumago' anywhere near their position. In fact, there weren't any kanji on the map anywhere, period, except for some randomly assorted numbers. "How the hell can you tell?"

Gaara stared at him, and pointed. "The villages are numbered. Six indicates Tsumago."

Naruto sighed. Getting information out of Gaara was like pulling teeth. It was enough to drive a professional interrogator insane, and Naruto wasn't that patient. "That's not what I meant- well, it was, but what about the cold weather thing?"

The stare intensified, making Gaara's green eyes stand out more visibly against his pale face while he scrutinized Naruto, as if to glean where the former Leaf-nin's thick-headedness originated from. It was the exact stare that made Naruto want to hit his partner. "The kanji for six is blue." He folded back up the map and returned it to his backpack. "I need to discuss something with you before we get going."

The sudden wave of sand that knocked Naruto to the ground was a great reminder that sand was, in effect, finely ground rocks, and it felt like it. Like being slammed by several tons of rocks, that is. Instinctually, Naruto struggled, but he was several years out of practice fighting the sand (Akatsuki partners practiced _together_, not against each other, damn it!) and the attack had completely blindsided him. It took hardly any time at all for Gaara to trap Naruto's hands and feet to the ground while his partner swore wildly, completely unable to do anything about it while pinned on his back. Throughout it all, Gaara's blank stare never wavered, which was worth something, Naruto supposed, as the alternative was that the excitement of the last few days had caused Gaara to lose control of Shukaku, but it still made Naruto want to hit him. "Gaara, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Naruto, right now I am very angry with you. For a few moments yesterday, my anger made me want to kill you, but after that subsided, all I wanted to do want break one of your hands. However, Maemi-san believes that while dealing with allies, talking things out is preferable to violence."

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief and made a silent vow that upon their return to Kaizen, the first thing he was going to do was seek out Gaara's therapist and treat her to a very nice dinner. "Sounds… good. But, um…" God, it was hard to hold a decent conversation while staring up into his partner's currently not-very-friendly face, "Gaara… what did I do?"

Gaara crossed his arms. With any other shinobi, this would have meant something, but Gaara's attacks hardly required the use of his hands. "It was you who got us sent on this ridiculous assignment. If you hadn't broken the Raijin in your childishness, we would still be in Konoha, and I would be having lunch with my brother and sister. Instead, we are here, traveling to a country that is completely unfamiliar to us that consists mostly of cliffs, mountains and snow, to attempt an espionage mission, which is the furthest thing from our field of expertise. By the time we return, most of the negotiations are likely to be over, and chances are I will not see Temari and Kankuro again for months. And I hate snow."

Naruto blinked. That was the most he had heard his partner say in one go in, well, ever. Also… by the sound of it, Naruto had kind of screwed Gaara over, even if it had been completely unintentional. But Naruto, being Naruto, messed up the perfect opportunity to apologize. "What, you don't like the cold?"

The shift in Gaara's gaze was subtle, and to be honest, there wasn't much difference between 'I hate you' and 'You are being an idiot,' but this expression was definitely the latter. "Permafrost blocks my access to underground minerals and makes it impossible for me to fight properly using the surrounding landscape."

Oh. Naruto could understand how Gaara might see that as a problem. "Well, if we do our job correctly, we won't have to fight."

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "It's an espionagemission."

That's what Naruto had said to the Lady Hokage, but the point was still valid. "Okay, there might be some fighting, but we should still be able to handle it…" Naruto trailed off as the bonds of chakra-enhanced sand wrapped tightened around his limbs. "Fine. Fine! I screwed up! I'm sorry, alright? I never meant to drag you into this. I just thought that the Lady Hokage would kick my ass, Itachi would kick my ass, and then it would be over with. This drawn out mission to the land of snowy hell was completely unexpected. I'll…" Crap. What the hell could he do for Gaara to make up for this? Gaara had been looking forward to spending some time with his siblings, and he never looked forward to _anything_, so there really wasn't much… well there was one thing. Even if it would take Naruto's next two paychecks to pull it off. "I'll treat you and your brother and sister to a hot springs trip, okay? You guys can schedule your next leave together, and I'll buy you an all-expenses paid vacation to that one hot springs resort we went to that one time."

Gaara's expression was distrusting. "That place costs more per night than you spend on food in a week. The only reason we could afford to go is because our client footed the bill."

Naruto shrugged. It was difficult to do so while pinned to the ground, but Naruto had always prided himself on beating the odds. "Yeah, well, you lose something, I lose something… it all works out." He hoped.

Apparently it was enough to mollify Gaara, as the sand retreated from Naruto's body and went back to hovering around the scarlet-haired shinobi, finally allowing the former Leaf-nin to push himself to his feet, cracking his neck to get rid of the kinks as he did so. It was with some trepidation that he turned to Gaara and grinned. "So… we good?"

Gaara nodded.

Naruto relaxed. Being at odds with Gaara, even if only for a few minutes, had been… _uncomfortable_, and that wasn't even factoring in the whole bound and helpless thing. He wasn't used to Gaara being angry at him, and this time, Naruto had to admit that the situation had mostly been his fault, even though Gaara tying him up with his sand had been unnecessary. It had been Naruto's thoughtlessness that had landed them in this mess, on a mission they were completely unsuited for, in a country that Naruto had only visited once before, and that was years ago, long before Gaara had joined the Akatsuki, and then there had been Kisame and Itachi and they hadn't traveled more than six hours beyond the Cloud's border, not all the way to its center. It was usually Naruto's thoughtlessness that got them in trouble. But no longer. Naruto was the world's number-one loud ninja (though in all honesty, he couldn't think of any other loud ninja, so there wasn't much competition, but still) and he could pay attention once in a while, and then maybe he'd stop messing up so much.

"Naruto, Kumogakure is to the northeast of us. You're heading the wrong way."

But probably not.

----

Though Sakura had been happy to make amends with Naruto, there was something about the blond shinobi that made the last four years of her life seem almost trivial, and Sakura didn't like it. She didn't like it when Lee stared up at her with those big black eyes of his as he lay in his hospital bed, still recovering from his recent bout with alcohol poisoning, and asked her if she was alright, because she hadn't responded when he asked her how her morning had gone. She didn't like it that the reason she hadn't heard a word Lee had said in the last five minutes was because she had been thinking of Sasuke. Sasuke, whom she had grown apart from so slowly that it hadn't even really hurt until the relationship they once had proved to be a lie.

Sasuke was a traitor, and that wasn't even the part that mattered. What mattered was that Sasuke had lived here in Konoha for years since he had joined the Sound, and not once in that time period had he thought of her as anything approaching a friend. Even if there was a possibility that circumstances would soon change, for the past four years, she had been Sasuke's enemy, and she hadn't even known.

It was different with Naruto. Naruto hadn't been here, and the hostilities between the Akatsuki and the Leaf were completely unofficial. Naruto had never looked into her face, and smiled, and been thinking the entire time about the most efficient way to kill her. When she had seen Naruto again, he hadn't been her enemy. And Naruto had never lied to her simply by being at her side.

And so Lee looked up at her and asked her if she was alright, Sakura simply smiled and nodded, hiding her guilt behind closed doors. "I'm fine, Lee, but I think I need to go for a walk to clear my head. Do you want me to get you anything?"

Lee smiled back, relieved that he hadn't done anything to upset her, and politely requested that if it wasn't too much trouble, could she get him an extra blanket? He had been ordered to stay here for a few days under supervision, and it was rather cold in the morning.

So Sakura left, walking out of her boyfriend's room to wander down the halls of a hospital she was unfortunately familiar with, after years of visiting friends in this building to try and cheer them up as they healed from their injuries, and even landing herself here once or twice after a particularly brutal mission. Since stealing a blanket from one of the other recovery rooms would probably get her chewed out for making more work for the medic-nin, she would have to get a blanket from one of the storerooms.

Sakura did not want to talk with anyone just then, so it was probably advisable to avoid the larger supply areas. And if she remembered the layout of the hospital correctly, there was a small storeroom down the hall from the main waiting room which barely anyone went to because no one ever remembered it was there to begin with.

It was therefore with no small amount of surprise that while walking around one corner of the hallway, Sakura ran straight into an ANBU leaning against the wall. The impact was slightly diluted by the ANBU getting his hands up in time to catch her before they made full body contact, but it was still embarrassing. And she thought _Naruto_ needed to work on his situational awareness?

After getting herself untangled from the ANBU's arms and backing away a discrete distance, Sakura bowed in apology, her face feeling rather warm. "I'm sorry for running into you. I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The ANBU shrugged, and the tone of his voice made it sound to Sakura as if he were smiling, even though with the mask she really couldn't confirm her suspicions. "No need to apologize, Sakura-chan. It was a pleasure to have my arms around you, I assure you."

Sakura blinked, startled. She knew that voice, and there was only one person who would flirt with her like that. "Makoto-kun?"

The ANBU nodded. "Astute as always, Sakura-chan."

In that brief period of Sakura's life between falling out of love with Sasuke and falling in love with Lee, Sakura had, in an experiment that failed spectacularly, tried dating other people in an effort to try and actively separate herself from her old teammates instead of just letting the separation happen through mutual disinterest. Hoshizawa Makoto had been the experiment. Three years older than her and at the time an up-and-coming chuunin, he had been sweet, funny, considerate, and had told her he thought she was beautiful. It had taken exactly half of dinner for his resemblance to Naruto to get to her, and she had been unable to stem the tears. His understanding and slight awkwardness in trying to comfort her had only made her cry harder. They had parted ways in front of her house after Makoto had walked her home, promising to get together sometime for sushi, but Sakura knew that she could never see Makoto in a romantic light, and after the situation had been explained, Makoto knew as well. The next day, when Lee had met her at the training grounds and said to her in a grave voice that he understood why she was dating and that he wouldn't stand in her way, but would always protect her with all his being regardless if she ever returned his feelings, Sakura had kissed him, and hadn't looked back.

Still, despite their rather uncomfortable first meeting, somehow Makoto and Sakura had become friends, though this was due more to Makoto's easygoing nature than anything else. However, they didn't talk much, and Sakura had only been vaguely aware of Makoto's promotion to the assassination corps. It was startling to see him in full uniform. "Makoto-kun, I never expected to see you here."

Makoto _was_ smiling. Sakura was now sure of it. She could read body language that much at least. "I requested this assignment." He tilted his head. "Though why are you here, Sakura-chan? You aren't hurt, are you?"

Sakura shook her head. "I'm just getting an extra blanket for Lee." She glanced past Makoto down the hallway. "One of the smaller storerooms is around here, isn't it?"

Makoto nodded. "Second door to your left."

Sakura bowed slightly in thanks and turned to leave.

"Just to warn you though, Sakura-chan, someone is already in there."

Sakura smiled, hiding her disappointment. So much for finding a place to just sit and think in peace. "Thank you for telling me, Makoto-kun."

The ANBU shrugged. "No problem."

----

Though Sakura had grown beyond her immature focus on people's looks, her awareness of physical beauty had not diminished, which was why her first thought after gazing upon the visage of the small storeroom's other occupant consisted solely of, _God, I wish I had his cheekbones. _

Her second was, _Should he really be out of bed? He looks terrible._

Her third sounded something like, _What the hell is he doing to his hair?_

It was this third thought that prompted Sakura to action. She was no Ino, but the sight of a man whose definition of a haircut consisted of sawing off the burnt parts with a kunai was just too much. "What are you doing to your hair?"

The man started. Though he had almost been directly facing her, his attention had been on his hair, not on the doorway, and his eyes didn't seem to be focusing properly, besides. "What?"

Sakura suddenly realized that she hadn't introduced herself, but pushed on gamely. "That isn't how you're supposed to give yourself a haircut. In fact, it's normally a bad idea to give yourself a haircut at all, but without a mirror, it's completely hopeless. Besides, you shouldn't cut your hair just to get rid of the burnt ends. It will end up looking worse than before."

The man stared at her. Now Sakura was sure there was something wrong with his eyes. Instead of meeting her gaze, he appeared to be looking somewhere around the region of her nose. "Why do you care?"

The man's tone was harsh, but he had absolutely nothing on Sasuke, so Sakura barely noticed. "I care because you have beautiful hair," and it wasbeautiful, what was left of it, almost pale enough to be called white and so fine and thick that Sakura couldn't help but be reminded of silk, "And you're _butchering_ it."

The man continued to stare, which Sakura soon grew tired of. What she did next was stupid; even half blind and covered in bandages from the neck down, the man (shinobi, rather, for they weren't really one in the same) reeked of steel, of sharp edges and hands shoved through chests before the enemy even noticed they were dead. He was _dangerous_, far more so than Sakura, even more than Lee, probably, though it was hard to tell, but unlike Lee, this shinobi was a killer in every sense of the word. He was a killer in the same way Sasuke had been ever since that first time he had stared into Sakura's eyes and told her that everything was as it had always been, the lie slipping smoothly from a tongue made slick by snake venom. This man could killher and not even blink an eye, so Sakura didn't know why she stepped forward and neatly pulled the kunai out of the shinobi's hand before tossing it to the side. But she did. "And don't use that. A knife will make the ends ragged."

Sakura waited for something to happen. But nothing did, except the shinobi gave her one last incredulous glance before sighing resignedly. "What would you suggest, than?"

In response, Sakura pulled a pair of scissors and a small hand-mirror from the pouch secured to her leg. They were standard mission fare for chuunin and not the ideal for the situation; the scissors were intended to cut cloth, not hair, and the mirror wasn't big enough, but it would do. She handed the pale-haired shinobi the mirror. "Hold this."

The shinobi complied, but not before asking in a weary voice, "Have you ever done this before?"

Sakura nodded before remembering the shinobi couldn't see very well. "Yes." Even discounting that time in the Forest of Death (considering the circumstances, calling that a hair cut was something of a stretch), Ino had given Sakura some tips about hair care and Sakura had over a year of trimming Lee's mane under her belt, so even if she wasn't up to professional standards, she wasn't completely inept. "It would be better if I could wet your hair down first, but we'll make do." Sakura ran one hand through the shinobi's hair. It really was quite fine, even if the burnt parts sooted the ends of her fingers black. "Do you have anything in mind?"

The shinobi stared at her blandly. "No."

Sakura sighed, though secretly she was relieved. If the guy had no expectations, than it was unlikely he would be disappointed with whatever Sakura came up with. "Short it is than. Can you move the mirror up another three inches, please?"

After the initial consideration of just what hairstyle she was going for, Sakura's hands moved mechanically, snipping away without much direction required on her part. Unfortunately, that left her a lot of time to think, which Sakura now realized she didn't want. Thinking inevitably led back to Sasuke, and she didn't want to think about Sasuke. It hurt too much. However, the man sitting patiently (almost too patiently; the only other people Sakura knew with such muscle control were Gai and Lee, and even they couldn't sit still for so long without fidgeting) under her ministrations didn't seem very talkative, so Sakura surveyed the room for a conversation topic, if only to avoid sounding totally inane. Her eyes landed upon a box of pastries sitting on a stack of crates nearby. "I wasn't aware they served strudel in the hospital's cafeteria."

The shinobi shrugged. "I wouldn't know." He paused. What the shinobi said next sounded reluctant. "My commander brought them to me. Something about the food here being inedible."

Sakura smiled softly. There weren't many ninja who would think to bring their wounded subordinates pastries. Still, it made her wonder. This shinobi… his chakra was at jounin levels. What division did he serve in that would put him subservient to another ninja? ANBU? Hunter-nin, perhaps? Either way, it wasn't really Sakura's right to ask, so she returned to the subject. "The food here isn't that bad, usually."

The shinobi snorted, showing the first real sign of life since Sakura had arrived. "I've been told that as well, but I'd just as soon stay away from hospital food if at all possible."

"Would you mind if I took a pastry, though?" Sakura smiled sheepishly, though the shinobi couldn't see. "I haven't eaten breakfast today."

Though there was some hesitation, the shinobi gave an affirmative shrug. "Suit yourself."

Sakura selected one of the tarts, but only took one bite before placing it down on one of the crates and wiping her hand on her pants. She didn't want to. The taste of sugared fruit in her mouth just made her long for more and didn't do much to sate her hunger, but there really was no good way to cut someone's hair with one hand. "Your commander sounds very kind. It wouldn't even occur to most of the shinobi captains I know to do something so thoughtful."

The shinobi hesitated again. "He has… his moments." A fond smirk crossed the shinobi's lips. It brightened his features, softened the harsher planes of his face. It made him resemble someone worth knowing instead of a broken warrior whose emotions had been worn away to nothing. Sakura gave a mental sigh. It really was unfair for a guy to have cheekbones like that. "When he's not being a self-absorbed asshole, that is."

Sakura laughed. "I've known people like that." At least, she had thought she had, but her instincts about people had never been very sharp.

The haircut didn't take long, if only because there really wasn't much hair to cut off. Even so, Sakura thought she had done a pretty damn good job with what she had to work with. The hair was cut off at the line where his ears began, framing his face nicely, and she had even managed to salvage some bangs out of it. "All done, though you should probably wash your hair as soon as possible to get rid of…" She trailed off as her eyes lit upon some black markings upon the shinobi's neck that had previously been hidden by his hair. It took a few seconds for her to understand what she was looking at, but as the realization dawned on her, Sakura felt herself go cold.

The shinobi turned to look at her, his eyes narrowed. "Is something wrong?"

Sakura shook her head. Her smile felt false. "No. I just realized that I never asked you your name."

"It's Sakon. Why?"

But Sakura was no longer listening. Sakon…

_The stare continued for a moment longer before Sasuke broke eye contact with her with a snort and resumed his contemplation of the linoleum. Sakura grew uncertain. "That is why you are here, isn't it?"_

_The dark-haired jounin's response was curt. "My wounds are inconsequential."_

_The answer to her next question was one Sakura knew she wouldn't like. If it wasn't Sasuke who needed medical attention, who did? "Then why are you here, Sasuke-kun?"_

_There was no response, but the Uchiha's eyes darkened before he again looked away, and Sakura felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. Something was very wrong with her teammate…_

Sakon was…

_"What is Sakon's condition?" Sasuke didn't even seem to notice he had interrupted her. He pushed away from the wall and past her, making Sakura stumble slightly at the rough contact when she didn't get out of the way fast enough for the Uchiha's tastes. Sakura opened her mouth to yell at him- since when had Sasuke become so rude?- but stopped herself when she saw her teammate's hands were shaking. Blood dripped from his left fist where nails had bit into the skin._

_Tsunade stared down at the Uchiha, calmly wiping her hands on a rag. "His condition is stable. Unless something goes horribly wrong, he should make it." With those words, all the stiffness in Sasuke's shoulders drained out…_

The eyes were the windows to the soul. This was as true for Sasuke as for anyone else, for no matter how easily the Uchiha's lies slid from his tongue, his eyes had remained blank and unreadable. Emotionless. Dead. But Sakon… it was this man that had caused Sasuke's eyes to grow dark with worry, had forced Sasuke's shields to crack as they hadn't in yearsAs they hadn't since before Naruto had left.

Sakura had thought Sasuke didn't have precious people anymore. Apparently she had been wrong.

She suddenly remembered her previous words to this man, made in ignorance of who and what he was, and couldn't quite stifle a hysterical giggle. It was just so ironic…

_Your commander sounds very kind…_

----

In the storeroom the ANBU had directed him to, Sakon had managed to find almost everything he had been looking for. Though he detested wearing Leaf shinobi gear, by now he was used to it, having garbed himself in the traditional Konoha chuunin vest ever since he had become Sasuke's bodyguard just to avoid some Leaf-nin killing him on sight, so it wasn't exactly a hardship to don the customary pants and toss that hideous hospital garb to the side. He hadn't put on a shirt; the thought of wearing anything over his still-tender injuries made Sakon wince, so he had remained half unclothed, but at least it was an improvement.

The lack of a pair of scissors in the entire storeroom was something of a letdown, though. All Sakon had managed to scrounge up was a kunai, one of many stored in the numerous crates stacked around the room. Sakon only later realized how foolish he had been to think to bring the box of pastries but completely forget the mirror the medic-nin had let him borrow, so all in all, the future of his hair had been looking rather grim. Then an angel had arrived.

Not really, of course, but Sakon's vision hadn't fully recovered since he had woken up, so the fuzziness did tend to add a sort of aura about the kunoichi. The pink hair triggered something in Sakon's memory, but before he could remember where he had seen pink hair before, the girl had started lecturing him on proper hair care and his thoughts had been derailed.

Things had begun to go downhill when she starting talking to him instead of just at him. Sakon's experience with women was less than nil, if only because dealing with Tayuya had to put him somewhere in the negative. Sakon had heard somewhere that you were supposed to treat women differently than men, but whenever Jiroubou had tried that on Tayuya, she usually did something violent immediately afterwards, so when the kunoichi asked him about the pastries, Sakon hadn't been sure what to say. Not that he wasn't grateful to the girl; anyone who saved his hair from further mutilation deserved some gratitude, at least, but… was he even supposed to respond?

The result of his discomfort had been a very awkward silence as Sakon's stilted replies ground the conversation to a halt. When the kunoichi announced she was finished, Sakon had never been happier for a haircut to be over. Then something in the girl's chakra signature shifted, and Sakon realized the situation had changed. "Is something wrong?"

The pink-haired kunoichi shook her head and gave him a smile that looked plastered on, even with Sakon's clouded vision. "No. I just realized that I never asked you your name."

Sakon's unease intensified. He briefly considered telling her a lie, but that was a paranoid impulse; his presence in Konoha had only been revealed the day before, so there was little chance the girl had any idea who he was. "It's Sakon. Why?"

The girl froze, staring at him with eyes that seemed impossibly wide. It was only then, when Sakon finally realized what had been bothering him ever since the female shinobi had entered the room, that he understood the magnitude of his mistake. Pink hair. How many kunoichi in Konoha could there be with pink hair? There was only one Sakon had ever seen, and even then from a distance. Haruno Sakura. Chuunin. Uchiha Sasuke's former teammate.

_Ah hell._

----

The shinobi, Sakon, Sasuke's precious person who had somehow supplanted all of Konoha and its denizens in Sasuke's heart without anyone even noticing, pushed himself to his feet so abruptly that Sakura stumbled back without even thinking. He was shorter than Sakura thought he would be. Even sitting down, Sakura had been able to tell that the Sound-nin was far from tall, but he was at least three inches shorter than she was. He was also walking towards the door as quickly as possible without actually resorting to a full-out run. It was then that Sakura's tendency to overthink everything all at once came into play.

She should have been angry. Why wasn't she angry? He had taken Sasuke away from her. Wait… no, that wasn't right. No one had taken Sasuke away from her. He left on his own. But how could… Sasuke… how could he…

Sakura had watched over the years as what little feeling left in Sasuke died, to be replaced by something that wasn't remotely human. She hadn't thought him capable of caring about anything, except his vengeance on the brother that had taken everything away from him. But…

_My commander brought them to me. Something about the food here being inedible._

Sasuke had never brought her anything during her stints of recovery in the hospital. Had never even visited if he could possibly avoid it.

_"Your commander sounds very kind. It wouldn't even occur to most of the shinobi captains I know to do something so thoughtful."_

_"He has… his moments." A fond smirk crossed the shinobi's lips. "When he's not being a self-absorbed asshole, that is."_

But then, Sakura wasn't one of Sasuke's precious people, and hadn't been since Naruto had died. Sasuke no longer cared about her. But he hadn't lost the capacity to care. He wasn't beyond redemption.

"Sakon-san."

The Sound-nin paused at the storeroom's threshold. "I don't believe it is wise for us to talk to one another, Haruno Sakura."

Sakura wasn't surprised that he knew her name. "Just do me one favor, will you, Sakon-san? Tell Sasuke…" Tell him what, exactly? That she had forgiven him? She hadn't, and even if she had, Sasuke wouldn't care. But that didn't mean they couldn't mend things between themselves, before Sasuke left Konoha forever. Sakura didn't like to leave things unfinished, even something as painful as this. "Tell Sasuke, when you next see him, to meet me at Naruto's favorite ramen shop in two days around noon. I have something I want to talk to him about." She held out the box of pastries. "Here. You wouldn't want to forget these."

Sakon hesitated. Sakura didn't blame him. But he nodded, nonetheless, and took the box from her hands. "I will tell him. But I cannot guarantee he will come."

Sakura watched him walk out the door and shut it behind him with a click. After a moment, she sighed, forced herself to relax and began looking for a blanket among the crates.

----

It was late in the evening before Sasuke returned to his apartment after a day of wandering Konoha, trying to become nostalgic about a village that contained nothing but bad memories and good ones turned sour. He wouldn't miss this place. This was where his clan had died, where he had lost to Gaara, where he had been told that Naruto was dead. This was currently where his brother was residing, less than a mile away, most likely silently sitting by his partner's bedside, barely remembering or caring that this was the village where he had murdered his entire family in less than a night. Sasuke was glad to be leaving. His departure was long past due.

He sensed Kimimaro's presence in his apartment long before he actually unlocked the door, but then, he was looking for it. It would have been embarrassing to be caught unawares twice by the Kaguya prodigy in less than twenty-four hours.

However, this time around, Kimimaro wasn't even conscious when Sasuke walked into his apartment. Sasuke raised one eyebrow at the sight of the bloodline limited genius knocked out cold on his couch, completely oblivious to the world. On Sasuke's kitchen counter lay a scroll, his name scrawled across the parchment in Orochimaru's spidery hand. Sasuke moved towards the kitchen and picked up the scroll, the seal coming undone at his touch. It took him less than a minute to read what was written inside. Then he smiled. It looked like Naruto's prediction was going to come true after all.


	26. Finding Out

Author's Note: Yeah… this one took me a while. Not really my fault, but not my betas' fault either, as real life does tend to intrude. Much thanks to both of them, by the way, especially Grey for fixing several major plot holes. Hopefully this chapter (and the plot twists therein) make up for the wait. As an interesting side note, I was nominated for the Naruto Fanfiction Awards for the second year running (lost last year by a vast majority, mores the pity). If any of you are in the mood to vote and have a LiveJournal account (or want to vote and don't mind creating a LiveJournal account) go to the community narutofic (you can link to it from my homepage), join the community and vote for your fics of choice. "A Fox and a Shark Walk into a Bar" is in the Alternate Reality and Unfinished Chaptered fanfiction categories, so if it is your favorite fic in either of those divisions, I would be very happy if you voted.

Naruto didn't remember Cloud Country being so cold. Intellectually, yes, he had always known. The stories of men falling asleep in snowdrifts and waking up dead were plentiful, varied, and a little too detailed for Naruto's tastes. But it hadn't been so cold the last time. It was true that when he had ventured here four years ago with Kisame and Itachi, their mission had taken less than twelve hours' journey into Cloud, but it was only one country. One very big country. With a lot of mountains. A _lot_ of mountains. Thank God they'd at least had the forethought to buy some winter gear in Tsumago, else he and Gaara would have frozen their asses off before they made it to the first village within the country's borders.

Well, according to Gaara, the temperature hadn't been quite low enough for them to freeze, per say (that came later), but when Naruto couldn't feel his hands, gloves or no gloves, he wasn't in the mood to argue semantics. It was too damned cold for talking. Or breathing. Or anything at all, really, though when a merchant selling scarves cheerfully informed him that the weather (snow, snow, and more snow, with some icy wind thrown in for variety) wasn't nearly as bad as it was in the Snow Country this time of year, Naruto almost drudged up the necessary energy to punch him in the face. Almost. But he hadn't eaten in six hours, and his body tore through calories even faster than usual in this weather in an effort to keep warm. So in the end, all Naruto did was buy a scarf (he had wanted it in orange, but Gaara had forbid it on the rather flimsy basis that it would be too easy to see against the background of snow and would put their mission in jeopardy. After their little confrontation in the fields of the abandoned village, Naruto didn't want to risk the tentative peace on such a small thing, so white it was). He had gotten some satisfaction out of stiffing the guy one thousand yen, though. Slight of hand was child's play to a trained shinobi.

Even if the scarf merchant had been irritating, he had also been correct, in his own way. In Cloud, there were areas that didn't fall below freezing when the sun went down, and growing produce was possible at lower altitudes as long as the farmers stayed with hardier crops, while the Snow Country was exactly what it sounded like. Snow all year round, never rain, rarely sun. Once, it had been otherwise, but then a new king had come along and everything had gone to hell, though no foreigner knew exactly why, and the inhabitants of the Snow Country weren't telling. They still turned out good shinobi, though. Harsher climates tended to, with Konoha being the exception instead of the rule. Demons there were more common than storms, and rather than hurricanes they had snake-eyed traitors with more intelligence than common sense. That sort of thing. It didn't really matter. Naruto had never been to the Snow Country, didn't want to. Cloud was bad enough.

Naruto hated the snow. He hadn't hated it a week ago. He still remembered his childhood in Konoha, desperately hoping for the once-a-year (or less) snowfall that would cover the buildings and ground white, that would cause Iruka-sensei to alter his lesson plan in order to teach his students about not leaving any tracks in freshly fallen snow and how to avoid losing one's footing on ice, even if the day inevitably ended with a snowball fight on the academy training grounds and hot chocolate in Iruka-sensei's apartment after all the other kids had gone home. But once a year just didn't cover how completely miserable snow made living outside, travel, and breathing. Especially breathing. Three scarves just didn't cover it, and the Akatsuki coat was only useful on the basis that it was waterproof. Not enough. Naruto stuffed the coat into his backpack on day two and took to layering parkas, only taking it out to put under his sleeping bag so melted snow didn't soak through to his skin in the night. Undignified, perhaps, but there wasn't anyone around to lecture him on decorum, especially considering Gaara had taken to doing the exact same thing, though replacing the coat with warmer garments had taken him three days, not two. But then, the former Sand-nin had always been far more aware of propriety of Naruto, at least when he wasn't trying to kill someone. That was what happened when one was the son of the Yondaime Kazekage and the other was an orphaned punk who hadn't learned to use chopsticks properly until he was seven.

Gaara didn't hate the snow, since the sand armor protected him from the inconvenience of getting his butt wet when he slipped and fell into snowdrifts. What he hated was the cold, something the sand was incapable of blocking. It was the cold that froze the ground and made it difficult to get to the dirt underneath the topsoil that Gaara could use as a backup to the sand in his gourd. It was the cold that forced Gaara to put on earmuffs, the goofiest article of clothing known to man, barring legwarmers. Pale green earmuffs. Gaara had almost brained him when Naruto had pointed out that at least they went with his eyes.

Neither of them were used to snow fighting or mountain terrain. Naruto had grown up in the forest, Gaara the desert. The ranges of endless white and blinding snowfall made them both uncomfortable, an unease that increased the closer they came to Kumogakure, to a village full of shinobi entirely at home in this land of mountains of ice. The further they came in their journey, the more Naruto cursed himself for his foolishness back in Konoha, for his moment of misplaced outrage that was costing them weeks of time they could ill-afford to give up, forcing them on a mission they were ill-equipped to complete.

It would have been different if Kisame and Itachi were with them. Not in an altogether good way, of course- for one thing, Naruto would be sporting several more bruises and probably a broken arm- but at least their presence would ensure that he wouldn't feel like he was moving towards his untimely demise. Itachi, and even Kisame, for all his bulk, were ten times as good at reconnaissance as Naruto and Gaara, and the senior partnership had been to Kumogakure several times before. A mission like this wouldn't even faze them.

Even just someone to talk to would have been nice. Baiting Gaara offered something in the way of entertainment, but only of the limited and extremely dangerous variety. And Gaara didn't chat. Probably didn't even know how to. So when Naruto on one of the many days they found themselves hiking in a snowstorm, turned to Gaara and said with a strained grin, "Nice weather we're having," Gaara didn't smile back, or roll his eyes, or even blink. He just stared at Naruto for a few seconds, then turned his attention towards the ground at his feet.

Kisame would have laughed and then slapped Naruto amiably upside the head. Even Itachi would have given a quiet sigh of disgust. But Gaara did nothing. Until now, Naruto hadn't remembered it was possible to feel so lonely when someone was standing just three feet to your left.

Naruto had felt a strange kinship with Gaara ever since the Chuunin Exams four years before. When Gaara had shown up at the Akatsuki headquarters two years ago and asked to see Naruto, Naruto had been happy to see him. When Kisame had asked Naruto if he minded having Gaara as a partner, Naruto had said yes without hesitation. Without thought of what it would be like to be tied to the mind and soul of a boy who had murdered his entire village less than two weeks before the binding ritual.

Naruto was fond of Gaara. They had been through too much together for him to feel otherwise (though he had no way of knowing if Gaara felt the same), and the blood chakra bond prevented any real enmity that might have arisen from a relationship between two such diametrically opposed personalities. But Gaara was… they weren't _friends_. They were blood brothers in every sense of the phrase, but then, so were all of the other partnerships in the Akatsuki. And when push came to shove, when back in Kaizen, Naruto went barhopping with Michio, or Kisame, if the elder elite were available, and Gaara either spent his time apart from other people or meditating silently with Sen. They shared an apartment, but both of them were rarely there. And the last time they were on a mission alone together for weeks on end was… well… never. Naruto was beginning to learn why.

They encountered few shinobi on their journey. A few Cloud-nin scattered here and there, but the majority of Kumogakure's forces had withdrawn to their village to recover from their invasion attempt. None of the Cloud-nin recognized them for what they were, fortunately, even though Gaara's gourd was still displayed prominently on his back. Their journey was made with no incident, the still air never disturbed by the approach of enemy shinobi. It was quiet, and peaceful.

Naruto hated it.

He had never been able to bear the silence. Foxes may have been solitary creatures, but the Kyuubi had failed to pass that trait onto his host, and Naruto had had enough of being alone during his childhood in Konoha. And in the Cloud Country, where the snow fell quietly and muffled every step, the silence pervaded everything. It was almost enough to drive Naruto crazy. It was certainly enough to drive him to distraction.

"Are we almost there?"

Gaara's gaze flickered towards Naruto before returning to the map he held before him. "We should arrive at the outskirts in three days."

It wasn't the first time Naruto had asked, but it was the last. There were only so many times you could try to start a conversation before your companion's stilted replies became more oppressive than the usual dead air.

Naruto no longer wondered what it was they were supposed to look for. The possibility of being able to talk to other people, supposed enemies or no, made the hunger for human contact acute enough for Naruto to forget his previous worries about the mission. Gaara never tried to sketch out a plan of attack, and Naruto didn't bother himself about it. They would wing it, as usual. Keep Gaara's forehead protector under wraps and their coats out of sight, somehow convince Gaara to stash his gourd somewhere so they wouldn't be pinpointed as Akatsuki within the first five minutes of their arrival, and ask around. Most of the shinobi would be on guard, if they had any sense at all, but it was unlikely anyone would expect spies from Konoha to be sent so soon after the invasion, as hard hit as the Leaf had been, so it shouldn't be impossible to get some answers without being found out.

It didn't quite work out that way, if only because Gaara refused to enter town. When Naruto had asked why, Gaara had given him a heavy-lidded glare. "I heard rumors in the last town we passed through that the forest surrounding Cloud Village is supposed to be haunted, as you would have had you been paying attention. I suspect genjutsu, likely a cover up for other activities. Investigation is a top priority." Then without another word, Gaara had turned around and walked off.

This had left Naruto alone with the task of entering Kumogakure itself. Truth be told, it was something of a relief. Naruto wasn't the most adept at espionage, but at least he had some talent for making people like him, something Gaara consistently failed at.

It was snowing again, but even that wasn't enough to completely hide the sounds of civilization. Naruto felt a grin spread across his face as he caught his first glimpse of Cloud Village through the cover of the conifer trees. He blew on his fingers through the gloves and rubbed his hands together before reaching into the pouch strapped to his thigh to pull out his identification (fake, obviously, but too well made for anyone to be able to tell). Finally being around other humans again would be great, but he'd never get lunch if he couldn't even get past the gate guards.

----

Kumogakure was a little like Konoha. Not so much in the architecture, few windows and slanted roofs, structured to withstand high winds and heavy snowfall, or the cuisine, which consisted mostly of meat and whatever vegetables the shinobi could trade for with the lower elevations. Not the people, either, with their darker skin and shaggy hair and the long coats over the shinobi's chuunin vests. The atmosphere, however, seemed strangely carefree and cheery, held onto by the grip of ragged fingernails. The loss of loved ones shoved to the wayside, so everyone could rise to see another day without the desire to pull a kunai across their throats. It felt like Konoha had four years ago after the Sound/Sand invasion. Even if Cloud had been the ones to invade instead of the ones invaded, the brittleness was there. And something else. Something Naruto was hard pressed to identify. It made him wonder what the hell their leaders had been thinking, if the Cloud were this broken after losing less than a third of their shinobi. During the Sound/Sand attack, the Leaf had lost almost half and their Kage to boot, but even then they hadn't been so… beaten down. Maybe Konoha shinobi were just more resilient. Maybe the Cloud had expected to win. Who knew. It wasn't like there was much a chance of the Leaf retaliating. Kumogakure was too isolated, too hard to get to for that, and Konoha had enough to deal with as it was.

The restaurant Naruto finally ended up at didn't have ramen, unfortunately, but on the waiter's recommendation he ordered the marinated meatballs, and they were pretty good. More than good, really; it had been over four days since Naruto had eaten anything heated, a fire being too much of a risk so close to Kumogakure where the shinobi were more likely to scrutinize strange travelers who wandered the wilderness on their own, and the feeling of hot food sliding down his throat into his stomach was enough to make Naruto sigh with pleasure. He was feeling warmer already.

After sparing a moment of pity for Gaara, still freezing his ass off in the woods somewhere, Naruto turned his attention back to his lunch. It was only after the waiter returned to give Naruto the check that he remembered what he was supposed to be doing.

"Hey."

The waiter obligingly looked up from the table he was cleaning. "Yes?"

"I'm a traveler passing through. I just stopped here to buy some supplies, but all of the merchants I passed were really hostile when I tried to negotiate with them. Is there any chance you could tell me where I could find a seller who wouldn't bite my head off? Or is everyone here like that?"

The expected suspicion narrowed the waiter's eyes, which Naruto did his best to diffuse with the cheeriest, most oblivious smile in his repertoire, honed by years of trying to get out of punishment for his most outrageous pranks. It seemed to work; the waiter's obliging smile recovered and his attentions returned to the table. "Sorry if you've been mistreated. Everyone is on edge right now. There was a battle with the Leaf a few weeks ago, and quite a few people lost friends and family. It's not as bad as it seems. Residents of Kumogakure are usually far more welcoming. If you return here in just a few months, you'd be treated with more courtesy."

A battle. Huh. So that's what they were calling it. Probably made it easier for the politicians to swallow. Suddenly realizing the waiter was staring at him expectantly, Naruto twisted his face into what he hoped was an expression of sympathy. "That's too bad. I know what it's like to lose someone." It was a lie; Naruto had no idea what it was like for someone close to die. For him, it had never happened. All he knew was what it was like to have no one to begin with. It wasn't the same, though perhaps it was just as bad.

Still, the gambit worked. Something in the waiter's eyes definitely softened at Naruto's words. "Terrible feeling. My father died during the fighting with Leaf over thirty years ago. I'm not a shinobi myself." To Naruto, this had been obvious from the second the man had started talking, but he kept his mouth shut. "My mother took me out of the academy after my father was killed, but… war is awful for everybody. My sister lost her husband in the last battle." It was then that the waiter's eyes hardened, though he wasn't looking at Naruto. "Makes me wonder why Ichiro-sama still keeps the Mist swordsman around. Seems all that comes from listening to that man is pain and hardship."

Naruto blinked. "Mist swordsman?"

The waiter grinned. "You must really be from out of town if you don't know about Roka. He's been the advisor to the Raikage since Ichiro-sama took up the mantle of the Lightning Shadow eleven years ago. He was a big help at first, back when Ichiro-sama was still young and inexperienced, but lately… every time Ichiro-sama follows Roka's advice, things just don't go right." This time, when the waiter's gaze returned to Naruto, his expression was so fervent that it almost made Naruto lean back in his seat just to escape the intensity of it. "It was Roka who convinced Ichiro-sama to start something with Konoha, you know."

It was so obvious that the waiter was desperate for Naruto to believe him, to believe that it hadn't been his beloved Raikage, but an outsider, who had brought about the invasion of the Leaf and subsequent deaths of so many Cloud-nin, that Naruto almost involuntarily found himself trusting the older man's words. "Sounds like a slimy son-of-a-bitch."

The waiter nodded. "I don't know what he is, but I doubt he has Kumogakure's best interests in mind. Don't let any of the shinobi hear you call him that, though. More than a few of them are Roka's spies and not loyal to the Raikage at all." The waiter went as if to spit, but remembered he was inside in time to avoid getting mucus all over the (newly mopped) wooden floor. "Makes me sick to think about it. Kumo-nin reporting to an outsider instead of the Raikage…" He went silent as a pair of Cloud chuunin walked past the front of the restaurant. It was then that Naruto was finally able to pinpoint the emotion that pervaded this village, even more than defeat. Fear. Everyone was _scared_, and not of Konoha. Of their own, of shinobi who were supposed to be their protectors.

Something was very wrong in Kumogakure. Naruto wasn't sure what yet, but he had enough of a lead to report to Gaara. He pushed himself to his feet, being sure to leave the waiter a generous tip. The dark-haired man watched him, tight-lipped, obviously starting to regret his loquaciousness around a complete stranger. Naruto shot him a grin in reassurance. "Thanks for bringing me up to speed." Then something occurred to the blond Akatsuki. This guy seemed oddly well-informed for someone who wasn't a shinobi. Maybe… "What's your name?"

The waiter responded automatically. "Kisho. Tokusaka Kisho." Then he froze, petrified. "Please don't-"

Naruto smiled again at the Cloud native while quietly filing away his name for future reference. "Don't worry. I'm not working for that Roka guy. I just wanted to know how things stood around here." He gave Kisho a short wave before turning to go. "Be seeing you."

Some of the strain drained out of Kisho's face. "Come back any time, sir."

Neither of them noticed the green-eyed man sitting in the northern-most corner of the restaurant, sipping a cup of black tea. Neither of them were even in the room, Naruto having left to go find his partner and Kisho being in the kitchen washing dishes, when the man stood and walked out the door, the money for the tea left on the table and his ANBU mask hidden under his cloak.

----

For Naruto, finding Gaara wasn't so much an exercise in tracking as it was an exercise in wandering wherever the hell he felt like wandering and eventually coming upon Gaara. Weird side-effect of the blood chakra bond, but useful. At one point during his impromptu hike, the air seemed to shimmer oddly, but Naruto had been mostly immune to illusions ever since the Aoi incident a year ago and he barely noticed the disturbance in his search for the former Sand-nin. This time he came upon his partner about two miles from the western wall of Kumogakure, crouched near a small outcropping of boulders. Gaara, for his part, wasn't paying attention at all, but staring rather intently ahead, his eyes clouded over as they only were when he was spying on something through his eye of sand.

"Hey, Gaara-"

Gaara held up one hand in the universal signal for silence, so Naruto cut off his greeting to wait for Gaara to finish whatever it was he was doing. After a minute, Gaara eyes cleared and he turned to Naruto. "Look through the gap between those two trees." He gestured sharply to a pair of evergreens directly ahead of them.

Obligingly, because Gaara rarely became passionate enough to issue orders, Naruto reached into his bag, pulled out the telescope he kept secreted at the bottom, pressed the telescope's eyepiece to his eye, and looked. It took him a few moments to focus the lens, but as soon as he managed to get some clarity, something very cold ran up the back of Naruto's spine. Black coats unadorned except for a sporadic pattern of blood-red clouds. "Gaara, what the hell are they doing here? Did Reiko-sama send them to spy on us or something? I didn't think she'd be _that_ angry about us doing a job for the Lady Hokage if it salvaged the treaty-"

Gaara's face at that moment was very reminiscent of his expression weeks before when he had discovered just how far his partner's knowledge of map reading went. "Naruto, Reiko-sama has no way of knowing we're here. Neither Itachi nor Kisame would tell her. This encounter is a coincidence."

Naruto stared at the former Sand-nin in disbelief. "What the hell are the chances of that?" The Akatsuki organization wasn't nearly as small as it had been when Naruto had first joined, but it was still by no means large. Besides that… they were over a three weeks' journey from Kaizen. Akatsuki partnerships almost _never_ came out this far.

Gaara shrugged indifferently. "About zero."

Naruto squinted again through the telescope lens, but soon gave up in disgust. "Can you at least tell who those two are from here?"

Gaara shook his head. "We're not close enough for my sand eye to be able to see their faces."

Naruto blew a puff of air out his nose. As an unassociated partnership, it wasn't really his and Gaara's place to interfere, but the probability of this new Akatsuki pair getting in their way was just too high to risk leaving them alone. "Guess we'll just have to get closer, then."

Gaara pulled his earmuffs further down over his ears, but otherwise didn't respond.

----

Their apparel wasn't ideal for sneaking through the woods. The article of clothing that was closest to blending in with the surrounding landscape was Naruto's white scarf, but otherwise their ensemble stood out like sore thumbs against the snow-covered landscape. However, a few villages back, Gaara had had the forethought to purchase some white blankets to decrease the likelihood that they would be spotted while they slept. Still not ideal camouflage, but as Naruto had pointed out to a skeptical Gaara, his reputation as a maverick was well-founded. Since they didn't have ideal equipment, they'd just have to improvise.

Improvising turned out to be very cold. And wet, but mostly cold. No matter how well insulated their clothing was, crawling through snowdrifts on their hands and knees, and later on their elbows and knees, for almost three hundred yards soaked through even the highest quality of snow gear, leaving Naruto shivering after just a few minutes. Gaara was spared the brunt of it, thanks to his sand that kept him relatively dry, but judging by his scowl, he wasn't enjoying this anymore than Naruto was.

Less than twenty yards from the position of their targets, Gaara flickered his fingers at Naruto. _:Stop:_

They were close enough now that Naruto could hear voices, but not clearly enough to distinguish the words. To his right, Gaara's eyes glazed over again as he reformed his eye of sand, so Naruto gritted his teeth and reached inside himself. He hated doing this, but they couldn't afford to get any closer.

((Hey. Fox.))

-What do you want?-

Naruto resisted the urge to sigh. When the Kyuubi wasn't in a good mood, it made everything ten times as difficult. ((I need to borrow your ears for a few minutes.))

A note of disgust entered the demon's aura. -Are you so weak that you need to ask? Just take it.-

((I'll keep that in mind the next time you bitch about brats who take your power without asking permission first.)) Naruto broke contact with the Kyuubi's mind to avoid to inevitable sneering that always followed one of their arguments, reached just a little more inside of himself, and _pulled_.

As it always did when he accessed the Nine-Tails' chakra, everything around him abruptly sharpened; became so bright and defined that it almost hurt. He could see every pine needle, hear every shift of the rabbits sleeping in the burrow one hundred yards to his left. He could also hear the words of the people standing twenty yards in front of them. It took Naruto a few moments, but it soon became obvious that it wasn't two people talking, but three. He didn't recognize their voices.

He rapped Gaara on the shoulder. The film over his eyes receding momentarily to focus on Naruto's face, the former Sand-nin didn't even blink as he met his partner's gaze, though Naruto knew that his eyes were currently bright red, his pupils slitted. _:What is it:_

_There are three of them. I can't see them from here, though. Too many trees blocking my view. I have to get just a little closer._

Gaara considered this briefly, then nodded. _:Stay out of sight.:_

_I will. If you see anything weird I don't, just tap me on the foot or something to let me know._ Naruto gave his partner a grin and a thumbs-up before pulling the white blanket tighter around his shoulders and crawling forward. He was just a body's-length ahead of Gaara when he brushed aside a low-hanging tree branch and finally caught sight of their marks. It took all of Naruto's willpower to stop himself from cursing aloud.

Though the large shinobi with an oversized katana strapped to his back was unfamiliar, the two Akatsuki were unmistakable. The unique pattern of fine scars crisscrossing the eyes and nose belonged to only one missing-nin. And the long silver hair and cold gray eyes of his partner was unmistakable. Toyozen Yasuo and Gin. If the chances of running into another Akatsuki partnership was close to zero, the chances of running into another Akatsuki _elite_ partnership was somewhere in the negatives, considering Sasori and Deidara had been somewhere out west for months and Kisame and Itachi were still back in Konoha. What the hell were Yasuo and Gin doing here? Talking with a Mist-nin, no less?

It was only after Naruto finished his internal cursing spree that he finally tuned into what the three shinobi were saying. It only took a few minutes of listening for him to wish Gaara was as oblivious as he was and had missed out on this entirely.

"You worry too much, Yasuo-kun. Ichiro-kun is far too unsure in his position to ever try and investigate my activities, even if he did suspect something. He has been following my advice too long to try and get rid of me now." The Mist-nin's voice was surprisingly quiet, barely carrying even to Naruto's Kyuubi-enhanced ears. "Our plans will proceed as scheduled."

Plans? What plans could an Akatsuki partnership possibly be making with the enemies of Konoha, a village the Akatsuki were trying to form an alliance with?

"You are overconfident in your control over the Raikage, Roka. He isn't a boy any longer, and even we have heard about his anger over the death of his brother. I knew him as a kid. He never had Kenji's forcefulness, but he is far from stupid. If he finds out about your intrigue, he won't hesitate to act against you." Yasuo, as usual, spoke for both himself and Gin in his usual dead tones that Naruto had only heard once or twice before. No wonder Naruto hadn't managed to recognize his voice without the face to match.

Roka. Hadn't Kisho back in Cloud Village talked about him? About a Mist swordsman who was leading Kumogakure to ruin? Naruto shifted to get a better look at the Mist-nin. Tall, though not as tall as Kisame. Broad in the shoulders, though not as much as one might expect, with that sword of his. Short black hair, with black eyes to match. Wrapped in a dark blue cloak to keep out the cold, he looked like a statue carved out of ice. Only his crystallized breath in the air disturbed the illusion.

"My confident is hardly misplaced, Yasuo-kun. By the time Ichiro-kun discovers what we have been planning, it will already be too late for him to do anything about it. More than a third of the Cloud's shinobi report to me, not to him, and his loyalist forces were decimated by the attack on Konoha. Besides, you may have known him as a child, but I am the one who knows him best now." A small smile curved Roka's lips. "It won't be long before everything comes to a head."

Yasuo nodded reluctantly. "It won't be." His eyes hardened. "But keep in mind, Roka, that _we_ are the ones doing _you_ a favor. You aren't the one who has to pull the wool over Hirayama's eyes." Naruto felt his mouth drop open. They were trying to hide this from Reiko-sama? But that meant…

Yasuo hadn't had the consideration to stop talking while Naruto's brain was on pause. "And if you ever think about taking more than is your due-"

Gin, quiet up until that point, laid a pacifying hand on Yasuo's shoulder. "Stand down, Yasuo-san. Roka will not betray us. Not if he wants Mist Village to survive." Yasuo quieted, and Gin turned to Roka with a slight bow. "I apologize, Roka-san. Yasuo-san cannot help his paranoia. We will send a pair of our subordinates to meet you in two weeks at the designated rendezvous point with the information you require. Hirayama Reiko will not be able to stand against the might of two villages without the backing of the Akatsuki Council, who have nothing but the financial well-being of the Akatsuki in mind. And in any case, she is as pragmatic as they are. Giving up one scroll and some of her pride isn't worth the cost of a full-out war for a mercenary organization such as the Akatsuki." Gin's voice was low and as carefully modulated as Naruto had expected it to be, though the former Waterfall-nin had never spoken around Naruto before. He sounded as if he was discussing the weather, not the betrayal of the most powerful shinobi organization in the world.

Roka nodded at Gin's words, not quite returning the bow but acknowledging the validity of what the silver-haired missing-nin was saying. "Very well, Gin-kun. I look forward to meeting your subordinates." He raised one hand in farewell. "Until then." With scarcely a shimmer, the Mist-nin's body faded, then collapsed into a puddle of water that froze over almost immediately.

Even though Yasuo moved to say something to Gin as soon as Roka departed, Naruto was no longer listening. This was bad. This was really, really bad. Screw Roka scamming the Raikage for cash or whatever the hell it was Kisho thought the Mist swordsman was doing, they were planning a fucking coupe. An elite partnership was acting _against_ both the Akasuki Council and the Akatsuki Commander, allying with a Mist-nin who apparently had all of Kirigakure at his command. It was the Mizukage who had almost killed Kisame just a few weeks ago, and now one of Mist Village's top dogs was working with two high-level shinobi from the very organization who had killed the Water Shadow.

Yasuo and Gin were traitors. Worse, it sounded like there were others in the Akatsuki who were willing to turn traitor with them. This was way bigger than anyone could have thought. Shit, Naruto and Gaara had been sent here to find out if the Cloud were planning another attack on Konoha, not to discover a plot to screw over the Akatsuki and overthrow the Raikage.

They had to tell someone about this. Immediately, before the subordinates of Yasuo and Gin gave the scroll and whatever it contained to Roka. Konoha wasn't close enough. If they hurried, they just _might_ make it to Kaizen in time to tell Reiko-sama what was going on, but they had to leave _now_.

So distracted was Naruto by the enormity of the conspiracy he had uncovered that when Gaara grabbed him by the heel of his boot, he was unable to hold back a flinch. Neither Yasuo nor Gin heard the thump of his elbow hitting the trunk of a conifer tree, but they were hard pressed to miss the minor avalanche of snow from the tree's branches that followed. Gin's eyes narrowed as he turned to stare at the bushes behind which Naruto and Gaara were hiding.

There wasn't time to be subtle. Naruto jerked around to stare at his partner. Gaara's light green eyes were wide. He knew as well as Naruto what had happened. What they had come across. Why they had just been found out.

"Gaara, move!" Hands and knees were too slow. If they were going to get away without Yasuo and Gin discovering who had spied upon their meeting with the Mist swordsman, they had to _run_.

It really was too bad that Naruto hadn't asked Sakon why exactly he and his brother had lost so badly to Toyozen Yasuo when he had the chance. The information would have been helpful. If Naruto had been told more about Yasuo's tactics in battle, he might have been able to avoid sprinting straight into the mass of wires that bordered the clearing where the Akatsuki and Roka had been talking, painted white to disguise them against the backdrop of the snow.

----

"Sakon, I need you to take a…" Sasuke trailed off at the sight of his subordinate chewing thoughtfully on a jelly doughnut, thumbing through a book detailing the history of Konohagakure. Of course, it was neither the doughnut nor the book that threw Sasuke off, but his subordinate's surprisingly (and unprecedented) short hair.

Sakon looked up at the sudden silence. "Something wrong?"

"When did you have time to get a haircut?"

"Yesterday." The slight Sound-nin raised one eyebrow at his commander. "What, you don't like it?"

Sasuke shook his head. "It's fine." Personally, Sasuke thought it was an improvement, as shorter hair meant that now his appearance no longer put his gender into question, but considering how attached Sakon had been to his prior hairstyle, Sasuke wasn't going to say anything. "It just seems odd that you managed to convince a hairdresser to come into your room just to cut your hair, considering your current status in this village."

Sakon creased over one page to mark his place before putting the book down on the bedside dresser. "I didn't have my hair cut in here, Sasuke-sama. I left to try and find a pair of scissors and a kunoichi was kind enough to cut my hair for me." Before Sasuke pulled himself together enough to remember to close his mouth (unbelievable. Only Sakon's priorities were so messed up that he'd put his hairstyle before letting himself rest and heal from life-threatening injuries), his subordinate frowned thoughtfully and brushed one of his new bangs out of his eyes. "That reminds me, Sasuke-sama. I had a very interesting encounter after you left with your friend, Naruto."

Sasuke made a dismissive flick of his wrist. "It can wait. This is more important." He ignored the way Sakon's eyes narrowed at the brush-off. "Kimimaro gave me a scroll last night that I think you should have a look at."

At the mention of his former commander's name, Sakon's eyes widened, his previous irritation forgotten. "Kimimaro was here?"

Sasuke smirked. "He was here twice. The first time was to try and find out why you hadn't sent Orochimaru your report yet, but you were unconscious at the time, so I sent him back to Otogakure. The second time was to give me this," and Sasuke untied the scroll knotted at his waist before ceding it to Sakon.

Sakon stared at the scroll suspiciously before turning back to Sasuke. "What is this?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Read it and find out."

Sparing a moment to sneer at his commander, Sakon returned his gaze to the scroll and carefully unrolled the parchment. It only took him a few seconds to skim the contents.

Sasuke watched with amusement as Sakon paled. "This- this is-"

"A request from Orochimaru to meet with the Hokage to discuss treaty arrangements. I'm going to give it to her later today, and are to deliver her response to Orochimaru upon our return to Otogakure." Sasuke gave Sakon a speculative glance. "Based on how quickly you're healing, that should be within the week. We'll have to set up a line of communication eventually if Otogakure and Konohagakure are going to keep exchanging messages, though."

The pale-haired shinobi stared at Sasuke. "You mean this is real?"

Sasuke smirked at his subordinate's disbelief. "You think I'd forge something like this?"

Sakon shook his head slowly before looking again at the scroll. "No, but I don't see how Orochimaru-sama would ever agree to something like this. He _hates_ Konoha."

Sasuke shrugged. "Not particularly. Now that he's gotten rid of the Sandaime and I've forsaken the Leaf to join the Sound, he's gotten all he wanted out of his home village. Now it's just another shinobi village that just so happens to have one of his former teammates as its leader."

Sakon paused in an obvious effort to try and think of something to say. "That view is very… pragmatic."

"So is he, when he isn't nursing an old grudge. So what do you think?"

"Of what?"

Sasuke frowned impatiently. "Of the prospect of a treaty with Konoha."

Sakon gave a listless shrug. "I don't really care. I've never felt one way or another about Konoha. It's fine, I suppose, though I wonder why Orochimaru-sama decided now was a good time to bring up the prospect of an alliance."

"Orochimaru isn't stupid. Konoha is in disrepair because of the Cloud/Mist invasion. Now is the perfect time to open negotiations. We have the advantage, since it is Leaf who needs assistance, and not Sound."

Sakon didn't look convinced. "Perhaps."

They lapsed into silence, Sakon turning his gaze to the window and both of them preoccupied with their own thoughts, but it didn't last long. "What was it you wanted to tell me again, Sakon?"

Sakon continued to watch something outside the window. "What, now you're interested?"

"Sakon…"

"It's nothing important. I just ran into your old teammate in one of the hospital's storerooms. She wanted me to tell you to meet her in two days at the ramen shop the blond Akatsuki likes for lunch. Which would now be tomorrow. Didn't seem all that urgent, though. Probably just wanted to talk. Didn't she have a crush on you once?"

Sasuke's eyes widened. Of all the stupid coincidences… "You spoke with Sakura!"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

----

Tsunade hadn't thought it was possible for the elder Uchiha to be any less communicative than he had been at the preliminary negotiations the morning before the Cloud and Mist invaded. It turned out that without his partner next to him, apparently urging him on without Tsunade noticing, Uchiha Itachi was near mute. It would have been a welcome contrast from his younger brother, if talking wasn't a necessary part of working out the specifics of the Akatsuki/Leaf treaty.

It was made worse by the fact that though the Akatsuki elite was almost eerily quiet, he was also unexpectedly twitchy. One finger rhythmically tapped the side of the teacup he was holding between his hands, and half the time it appeared as if he was trying to hold back a glare. The period flash of his eyes to the dark red of Sharingan didn't do much for Tsunade's nerves, either.

Still, she made an effort to move things along. It just wasn't working very well. "How far does your leader want this alliance to extend, Uchiha? If, for example, the Mist and Cloud decided to invade again sometime in the future, how many shinobi are the Akatsuki willing to lend to us to help us defend our village?"

Itachi stared at her without blinking. "None."

To her left, Shiranui Genma couldn't resist a jerk. Even Tsunade was hard pressed to keep her mouth from dropping open. "None?"

The Uchiha's eyes again flashed red. "None."

A daimyo from the southern parts of Konoha started spluttering. "How can you call this an alliance if you aren't willing to give us troop support?"

Tsunade raised a hand, cutting off the civilian lord. She never took her gaze off of Itachi. "May I ask why?"

The Akatsuki elite carefully placed his teacup on Tsunade's desk before leaning his weight forward on his elbows and lacing together his fingers, unconsciously assuming a pose Tsunade had seen Sasuke in many times before. Even though Itachi would always be known as the quintessential pariah of the Uchiha, Sasuke's betrayal barely registering in face of the massacre, there were some family traits that made themselves most apparent when least expected. "Akatsuki wouldn't benefit from a promise of military support. No village would dare attack Kaizen and earn our enmity."

Tsunade kept her expression calm, but inside she was fuming. Shit. Shit, shit, _shit_! Not only had the Uchiha already made it apparent that compromise was totally beyond him, he was _right_. The Akatsuki were too powerful for anyone to consider attacking them, short of an open declaration of war. They didn't need Konoha. Not really. Not the way Konoha needed them. All the Akatsuki wanted was trade, lacking anything resembling a civilian populace to supply them with goods and the manpower for more mundane tasks.

That was where the Leaf came in. Civilians were something that Konoha possessed, though not in particular abundance. Unfortunately, bolts of cloth and carrots were not equal in value to the services of jounin-level shinobi.

Despite herself, Tsunade gritted her teeth. If the Leaf couldn't somehow secure manpower out of the Akatsuki, the treaty would come to nothing. But they had nothing to bargain with…

A very short argument outside the door was what first interrupted the proceedings. A much larger interruption followed when one of the ANBU guards stationed in the hallway opened the door with a quiet apology, and Uchiha Sasuke walked through. Everyone turned to witness the disruption, and for one dangerous moment, the eyes of Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Sasuke met. However, it soon passed; after one convulsive tightening of his features, Sasuke turned his attention to Tsunade with a reluctance that looked painful. Itachi, for his part, did the same, his gaze appearing the more placid of the two, though Tsunade knew it was not.

Though Tsunade was privately relieved for the break in what could only be called negotiations in jest, she frowned at the younger Uchiha in disapproval. "What is it, Sasuke? If you want to talk about something, come back later. You're interrupting."

Sasuke ignored the reprimand. "I have been in communication with Otogakure for the past several days," They both ignored the murmur that went up around the room at the mention of Sound Village, though Tsunade silently cursed the Uchiha for bringing up his new allegiance before she had found time to tell her advisors personally, "and last night a scroll arrived that was addressed to you." He handed her a neatly wrapped scroll with no effort made towards ceremony.

Tsunade only made a cursory examination of the scroll for traps- not even Sasuke was arrogant enough to believe he could attack her while she was surrounded by Konoha shinobi- before breaking the seal and reading the document's contents. If she had been hard pressed to keep her mouth closed when Itachi had refused to lend Konoha military support, she was unable to resist the reflex now. It was only a few hours after the invasion that she had let Sasuke know she was amiable to an alliance with Konoha; how was it that only two days later, she already had Orochimaru's accession in her hands?

Self-centered Sasuke may have been, but he still possessed the all-seeing eyes of the Uchiha and didn't fail to notice her shock. When Tsunade finally managed to tear her eyes away from the impossible scroll in front of her, the first thing her gaze fell upon was the younger Uchiha's insufferable smirk.

"I hope this is important enough for you." When Tsunade was unable to immediately come up with a response, Sasuke's smirk shifted into a frown, but his face regressed into neutral so quickly that Tsunade almost didn't catch the Uchiha's momentary lapse into petulance. "I need a reply in writing within the next few days." The smirk returned. "You know where to find me." He turned to leave, but at the threshold he spared a moment to level an abruptly red-eyed stare at his elder brother, who returned the gaze with his usual equanimity. The instant didn't last long and no words were exchanged, but the way Sasuke's eyes narrowed couldn't be interpreted as anything other than a threat.

After the door banged closed after the younger Uchiha, Tsunade returned her attention to the elder, her smirk uncannily mirroring Sasuke's. "I believe, Itachi, that now it is your turn to offer me something. And please make it an improvement over your last attempt, else… I just_ may_ take a better offer."


	27. Attaining Enlightenment & Huge Migraines

Author's Note: I know this chapter took next to forever to put up, but the next one will be faster, I promise. Not that that would be hard, but I already have one-fourth of it done, which is part of the reason this chapter took so long, as that section of Chapter 28 was originally going to be part of Chapter 27 until I did some rearranging. Anyway, one of my betas, Kagaya, did another commission for me, this one of Sakura giving Sakon a haircut. Sakon looks a lot more like a guy with his shirt off and short hair. Pretty hot, actually. Here's the address (remember to take out the spaces): www .deviantart .com /view /29183187 /

Thanks to my betas as usual for pointing out some rather glaring errors. Also… I got some seriously excellent reviews for this chapter. An extra big shout out to Blonde-Existentialist, who wrote the longest and most in-depth review I've gotten in… well… ever. Also happened to land as review 500, which is kind of cool. Still, I got some other incredibly long and detailed reviews that if it wasn't explicitly against FFN policy (for some reason I cannot fathom) and would make most readers lynch me for making them wait another day, I'd probably spend another thousand words or so replying to them. Though for Nasa Maxwell-Yuy… narutofan .com has all the manga, and becoming a member is free. They're up to Chapter 303, I believe, so you can learn plenty about the Sound-nin there.

----

Kisame could always tell when Itachi was angry. However, evidence of such an occurrence tended to be obscured to the point of virtual nonexistence, and most people credited the Uchiha with the emotional capacity of a rock. Kisame, unlike pretty much everyone else, had never made the mistake of thinking that Itachi was immune to moments of sentiment. The former Leaf-nin was just a hell of a lot better at controlling said sentiments. Most of the time.

Unfortunately, now wasn't one of those times. Even though Itachi was sitting on the other side of the room, Kisame could sense the tension his partner was emitting, and it was beginning to give him a headache.

"Itachi-san, can you please tell me what is bothering you? I can hear you gritting your teeth from here."

Itachi's feature's tightened, but otherwise gave no sign he had heard Kisame's question.

"Itachi-san…"

"Leave it, Kisame."

Kisame raised an eyebrow at the curt edge to his partner's words, something he had heard directed often enough at other people, but never at himself. It was simple enough to discern one source of Itachi's ire; he was still displeased that Kisame had gone over his head to send Naruto and Gaara to Cloud. Not that Kisame felt any obligation to take the Uchiha's attitude. Itachi held more authority than himself in the Akatsuki hierarchy, but Itachi was his partner, not his superior. "It's childish to withhold information."

It was only then that the Uchiha deigned to respond. "You did the same, Kisame."

Kisame was hard put to hold back a sigh. Itachi wasn't much like his brother. Except when he was. "In my case it was a tactical decision. You would have overreacted to Naruto's destruction of the Raijin. Naruto and Gaara's mission is necessary if this treaty with Konoha is to succeed, and your knowledge of Naruto's misstep would have done nothing but hinder their progress. You didn't go easy on the kid the last time he made a mistake, and he didn't need to deal with your wrath on top of everything else."

It was then that Itachi turned to meet his gaze, and all Kisame could do was stare, unable to believe what he was seeing. When he finally did believe it, the swordsman swore silently under his breath. Itachi's eyes were blank and unwavering, neither of which was unusual, but they were also absent of what everyone else would call sanity. Kisame called it stability, because no shinobi was anything resembling sane. And Itachi didn't have it, for the first time since Kisame had met him seven years ago. "What if I don't want the treaty with Konoha to succeed?"

Oh _fuck_. What the hell had happened?

Not that he'd ever find out if he didn't ask. "What happened, Itachi-san?"

Itachi's hands were shaking. Kisame wondered if his partner even noticed. "Tsunade outmaneuvered me. She's been planning an alliance with Sasuke- Sound Village behind our backs, and she used it to force me to promise manpower to Konoha in times of emergency." The Uchiha gripped the edge of his chair, but he wasn't able to stop the shaking. "I almost _killed_ her when she did that."

There was so much wrong with what Itachi had just said that for a moment Kisame wondered if knocking his head had caused him brain damage along with a concussion. Under no circumstances were they to agree to give the Leaf shinobi backup, on that much Reiko-sama's scroll had been clear. And under no circumstances had Itachi ever lost his temper before to the extent that he considered violence. Except with Hirayama Reiko. Kisame wondered if the Godaime Hokage knew how close she had come to forfeiting her life over a passing resemblance to the one person around whom Itachi wasn't in complete control.

However, Itachi's slip of the tongue was interesting, if not worrying in what it said about his partner's state of mind. Kisame had been aware that Orochimaru had taken on an apprentice, but he hadn't known it was Itachi's little brother. And that he already held enough power to negotiate for his new village. Funny how command seemed to come to the remaining Uchihas like breathing. "You could have asked for some time to think it over before you gave the Godaime that much."

Itachi's laced his fingers together. His hands no longer shook. "Yes." An affirmation, not agreement.

"We should probably contact Reiko-sama to tell her what happened." Not everything, of course. Hirayama Reiko was not a person you wanted to know everything.

"Yes." Another affirmation. "But we are not going to." Then the former Leaf-nin paused and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the stability had returned. "I hate Konoha, Kisame."

Sometimes it hurt to have such a thorough understanding of someone whose emotions were sharper and more likely to make you bleed than broken pieces of glass. But that didn't mean Kisame ever let himself regret his empathy for Itachi. His partner. "I know you do, Itachi-san."

----

It had taken less than half an hour to wrangle some concessions out of Uchiha Itachi before he abruptly stood up and told her that they would continue negotiations tomorrow after he had spoken with his partner, the Akatsuki elite's own taciturn way of walking away before he punched her. Even though their discussion had leaned considerably more in Konoha's favor after Sasuke's impromptu appearance and equally abrupt departure, Tsunade was somewhat relieved. From what little interaction she had had with the man, it was obvious that Itachi was used to keeping his emotions buried deep, but during the last few minutes before he had taken his leave, the elder Uchiha's anger had been so close to the surface that Tsunade could see him visibly shaking with the effort of suppressing it. As startling as it had been to see Itachi angry, what made Tsunade feel so bothered as she watched the Uchiha leave was that she didn't understand his fury. She had pulled one over him, yes, but it was such a minor loss for the Akatsuki in the grand scheme of things that Tsunade honestly hadn't foreseen anyone getting that upset about it, much less Itachi. And Tsunade didn't like what she didn't understand.

However, even after the elder Uchiha had left, Tsunade still had a number of other problems to deal with, most notably calming down her councilors long enough to explain her reasoning behind considering an alliance with Otogakure. Which had taken three hours, every minute adding to Tsunade's desire to put her head through a wall. But finally, her councilors were satisfied (as much as they'd ever be, which wasn't very), and they left, most likely to criticize her leadership as soon as they believed themselves out of her hearing. Most of their complaints would probably be harmless chatter, but some of it wouldn't be. Tsunade avoided the irritation of worrying about it by ordering one of her most trusted ANBU captains to send out his team to shadow those who had opposed her most vehemently in the past, and to report back to her in the morning just what conversations had transpired. The captain himself had just turned to leave when Tsunade had a thought, and called out after him, "Better tail Danzou yourself, Yamato." The old man was crippled and no match for any ANBU under normal circumstances, but he had made a habit recently of always being accompanied by a jounin or two who agreed with his policies. Standing near the door, the ANBU captain twisted to face her and nodded, almost imperceptibly, before fading into the woodwork.

And even after the ANBU team had been sent out, the day's work still wasn't complete. It was times like this that made Tsunade wonder how drunk she had been when she agreed to take on the mantle of Hokage. Talk about inhumane hours. "Genma."

Her bodyguard of the day looked up from his fiddling with his habitual senbon needle. Tsunade suspected that if the man hadn't been a jounin, he would have startled at the sound of his name. Not that she could blame him; he hadn't had anything to do for hours except stand around and listen to Tsunade deal with one annoyance after another, and had probably gone into the half-dead trance highly experienced shinobi usually adopted when they were technically on duty but weren't doing much of anything. Not that he'd like his next job much better.

Tsunade wordlessly held out a stack of paperwork. It was with noticeable trepidation that Genma walked over from his position leaning against the wall and took the papers from her hands before slowly flipping through them. Tsunade supplied him with an explanation before he had time to come to one on his own. "I need you to file the record Uchiha Itachi's agreement and organize the formally written complaints my councilors compiled. Then you can go home."

Genma's jaw tensed, betraying his displeasure at the idea of more work so late at night (paperwork, at that, something the jounin was known to loathe). However, otherwise he didn't protest, though his hurry was evident in the way he rushed out the door, not even noticing that he had left his senbon on her desk where he had placed it moments before. A sure sign of distraction, one that made Tsunade relieved that she had decided against giving Genma any more taxing assignments for the evening. A distracted shinobi wasn't one who was likely to do well with any task more complicated than filing paperwork.

Finally, after assuring Shizune that she was fine and wouldn't stay up much later before heading to bed herself, Tsunade was alone. At least, that was how it would have appeared to anyone watching.

"You can come out now, Shikamaru."

If she hadn't seen it many times before, the sight of the shadow cast by one of the lamps slowly distorting itself into the shape of a man before gaining substance and color would have been unnerving. Even so, in the split second when the leader of her personal espionage team was completely solid but completely lacking in any pigment but the duskiest of black, Tsunade couldn't help but be reminded of the stories she had heard in her childhood of the death gods that waited in the shadows, only materializing when someone was about to die. The memory faded after the shadows retreated, leaving behind a tall man garbed in the customary jounin wear, the only aberration being a long black coat thrown over the flak jacket. Well, that and the obscenely large cup of coffee grasped in his right (and only) hand. As Tsunade watched with eyebrow raised, said shinobi leisurely took a sip of the steaming hot beverage, seemingly unbothered by her scrutiny.

"I am curious as to when you had time to pick up coffee."

Shikamaru took another sip before answering. "I left just after Uchiha Itachi did, since your sole instructions were to observe him." Responding to her second (unspoken) question, he continued with, "I returned after one of your councilors passed by the jounin lounge." He gave a halfhearted shrug. "Thought you might want to talk to me before you called it a night."

"So you've been drinking coffee for the past three hours."

The spy glanced down at the cup in his hand. "Dinner for most of it, actually. This is my first cup today." He shrugged again. "I would give it to you, but you've always made it clear that you hate decaf."

Tsunade narrowly suppressed a shudder. Damn right she hated decaf. Why Shikamaru bothered drinking coffee without the requisite caffeine, she'd never know. But they were straying horribly off topic. "What do you think about Uchiha Itachi?"

Shikamaru made his way over to the chair that said Uchiha had occupied earlier that day and inspected it with a cursory glance before folding ungracefully into the seat. Despite the apparent ungainliness of the process, not a single drop of the jounin's drink spilled over the cup's rim. Tsunade watched her subordinate situate himself with a patience she reserved only for the leader of her personal espionage team. Shikamaru wasn't disrespectful by nature; he was just incapable of being hurried unless someone's life was at stake, and sometimes not even then.

It was a good thirty seconds after she asked about Uchiha Itachi that Shikamaru finally got around to a reply. "He was going to kill you." He took a long swallow of his beverage after this pronouncement, giving Tsunade time to process it. Then he continued. "It's not because of the possible Sound Village alliance. He didn't get angry until after that."

Tsunade considered this. While she had noticed Itachi's fury, it hadn't occurred to her it was great enough to border on the homicidal. The fact that it was, was worrying. Also very interesting. Tsunade decided to concentrate on the interesting part. "How much information have you compiled about the inner workings of the Akatsuki?"

The spy slouched further down into his seat. "Enough that I hope you don't have anything else planned to do tonight."

Tsunade smiled. It was nice to have competent minions. "I believe my schedule can be cleared without too much difficulty."

At that, Shikamaru sighed, mumbled something about how he should have known to order a triple shot, and took one last drought of his coffee, draining the cup completely before placing it onto Tsunade's desk next to Genma's forgotten senbon needle. "The Akatsuki is composed of five divisions…"

----

The first thing that put Iruka on edge upon Genma's return to their apartment that night was the absence of a senbon needle clenched between the jounin's teeth. It was an unusual enough sight that Iruka actually paused in his grading (a serious business that Genma knew well not to interrupt on pain of the couch) to ask what was wrong. Iruka's unease intensified when the tawny-haired jounin didn't acknowledge or even seem to notice that he had spoken, just stared thoughtfully into their living room with a distant look on his face, his jaw working in a habitual movement as though a senbon still resided in his mouth. So Iruka repeated his inquiry, the slight increase in volume betraying his anxiety. It was only then that Genma snapped out of his apathetic stupor and met his lover's gaze.

"Something wrong…" Genma looked contemplative, but after a moment shook his head. "No. Nothing's wrong, Iruka. Something strange happened today, that's all. Nothing to worry about." He ambled over to the couch and sprawled onto the cushions with his usual lack of care, only a quiet sigh revealing anything but a state of complete relaxation.

There was no way Iruka was going to let his lover off with such a pathetic explanation. "Mind telling me what the strange thing was?" It was possible that the information was just too high-security for Genma to tell him about it, but Iruka doubted it. If the intelligence was that sensitive, Genma wouldn't have mentioned it at all. And Genma knew how much hinting without providing some information to back it up pissed Iruka off.

Genma's eyes had closed as soon as his body hit the couch, but they opened again upon hearing the terseness in Iruka's tone. A fond smile briefly crossed the jounin's lips before his expression reverted to neutral, as if holding onto his good humor was too tiring to bother with for long. "You know that Uchiha kid?"

Alarm bells were beginning to go off in Iruka's head. He didn't have as much use for battle instincts as he had eight years ago when he was active in the field, but he hadn't lost them, and they were telling him that it was probably better for his state of mind if he didn't find out what had his lover so worried. They were telling him that whatever could agitate Genma, usually the definition of self-composure, would send him into an uncontrolled panic. It had become an unfortunate habit of Iruka to ignore such warning signs when it came to former pupils. "I do. He used to be one of my students."

Genma's eyelids again drifted closed. "Turns out he is a spy for Sound." Iruka's breath caught in his throat, but Genma continued on with his customary murmur, not seeming to notice the way his lover's limbs stiffened. "The funny thing is the way I found out. Uchiha marched right into a meeting between Hokage-sama and his older brother, gave her a scroll and started talking about giving him a reply in the next few days. Kid must be pretty high up in the Sound hierarchy to wield enough authority to negotiate with the Godaime."

The jounin reached up towards his mouth to fiddle with his senbon, only then realizing that his mouth was empty. His hand fell lazily to hang off the side of the couch as he let out a resigned sigh. "Weird, weird day all around. Weird couple of days, when you get right down to it. First the Akatsuki, now the Sound. Makes me wonder if it's Make Nice with Your Enemies week and someone forgot to tell me. Not that I'm opposed to making treaties with them or anything. Konoha needs all the help it can get, these days."

Iruka nodded in agreement. "That's true," he said evenly. The wood groaned as his grip tightened on the edge of his desk.

Genma glanced at Iruka and met his gaze for one long moment. "You don't like it."

Sometimes Iruka longed for the days when he dated people who weren't able to tell his mood from the most minor fluctuations in his chakra patterns. Then he remembered that he had never dated people like that. Lunch with that one merchant's daughter when he was sixteen didn't count. "No, I don't."

Apparently having grown tired of lying down while still fully clothed, Genma pushed himself into a sitting position with a languid stretch and shucked off his flak jacket with practiced ease. His hitai-ate soon followed, though the jounin stopped short of stripping entirely, and paused with his hitai-ate still in hand, staring blankly at the Konoha symbol engraved in the medal. The lapse was only momentary, but it was still long enough for Iruka to see the weariness in Genma's eyes.

((He's tired.)) Iruka had already known this; how could his lover be otherwise, after being forced to pull an overnight shift before a full day of acting the part of bodyguard for the Hokage. Iruka himself had avoided the majority of the strain, playing little part in the border patrols and cleanup that always followed an invasion, but he hadn't seen Gemna for any period of time for three days and hadn't been aware of the extent of Gemna's exhaustion.

But tired or no, Genma was a shinobi. More realistically, he was a jounin, and as such could function fairly well even without the benefit of sleep. "I think it's weird too, Iruka."

There was no way Iruka was going to get anymore grading done tonight, so he stacked the papers to the side with practiced movements before making his way to an armchair that faced the couch. "Orochimaru isn't to be trusted."

A wry smile twisted Genma's lips. "Obviously. But it's the best course for now."

Iruka shook his head. "Even if they will offer us more than the Akatsuki, I don't think so. Ignoring the fact that Orochimaru will probably betray us at some point, they've been encroaching on Waterfall's borders for years, and creating a treaty with them will turn Waterfall against us."

Genma shrugged. "That doesn't matter much anymore. With Sound pushing from the east and Stone from the west, Waterfall will fall within months. We don't need to worry about them."

Later, Iruka would look back on such conversations with his lover and other shinobi, and he would shudder at the ease with which they discussed the slaughter of a village who was supposed to be their ally, but his disgust for shinobi politics would never last long. The village always came first. Allies were a far second. If push came to shove, Konoha would sacrifice every life in every one of their allies' villages without a second thought if it would guarantee the survival of Konohagakure. It had always been that way. It would always be that way, and Iruka lacked the power to change it. In his more honest moments, he would admit to himself that even if he possessed that power, he doubted he was selfless enough to risk his village for another's.

The whole thing, in truth, was just giving him a headache. "Sometimes I really hate politics."

Genma grinned at him, slowly, in a way that never failed to make Iruka feel warmer than the room's temperature warranted. "I'm not too fond of them myself, but at least our current truce with the Akatsuki is paying off some. Hokage-sama sent the younger pair of Akatsuki- you know, the Kyuubi kid and Gaara of the Desert- out to Cloud to scout out the situation in Kumogakure. Saves us some manpower that we need back here-"

Iruka felt his muscles go rigid. "Naruto's gone?"

Genma shot him an odd look, then one of understanding. "The Kyuubi used to be one of your students, too?"

Iruka scowled. "_Naruto_ used to be one of my students, yes. I don't recall ever teaching the Nine-Tails Fox how to use henge, however."

Genma raised his hands in a placating gesture. "You know that isn't what I meant, Iruka. I met the Kyuu- Naruto during the finals of the Chuunin Exams four years ago, remember? He seemed decent enough. Just habit, is all. I have nothing against the kid."

"When did Naruto leave?"

"Yesterday morning, I think. Would have left the day before, but the kid wanted to say goodbye to one of his teammates before he left." Genma grinned again. "The Uchiha, as it turns out. Man, that cell turned out its fair share of traitors, didn't it."

It was only then that Iruka realized his hands were clenched into fists, his nails biting into the palms. He forced his hands to relax with some effort. He and Genma had gotten together long after Naruto had left. Iruka had taught hundreds of students, and Genma had no way of knowing of the bond between him and Naruto. He had no way of knowing the icy shaft that pierced Iruka's heart when Naruto was so casually labeled a traitor.

There were a thousand things Iruka wanted to say, the predominant one being _you cannot betray something that never believed in you to begin with_. But he held his tongue, and let Genma walk over to him and wrap his arms around Iruka with the easy familiarity that Iruka had only recently become accustomed to, and breathe in the scent of the chuunin teacher's hair. And somehow, even though Genma was doing his best to distract him, the only thing Iruka could think was, ((He should have told me he was leaving. He should have said goodbye.)) And the only thing Iruka could feel was hurt that the first person Naruto had thought of was Sasuke, instead of him.

----

Sasuke was already at the ramen shop when Sakura arrived, five minutes before their scheduled meeting time. He hadn't ordered, but sat at the stall with his elbows on the counter, his fingers laced in a familiar pose, though he reached for the menu as soon as he became aware of Sakura's arrival. Sakura smiled sadly. Odd to think that with all that had changed, some things remained the same. No matter what happened, Sasuke would probably always be unfailingly punctual, and painfully stiff while wielding the few manners that time hadn't managed to wear away.

"Sasuke." It felt odd, addressing him without the familiar honorific. But Sakura did it anyway. She needed to distance herself before he left. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much later, when it finally hit her that he was gone for good. And that he was never coming back.

"Sakura." He wasn't wearing a hitai-ate headband. He wasn't, in fact, wearing anything that at all identified him as a Sound shinobi. It was a wise move, considering how many people still felt resentment against Otogakure for the invasion four years ago, but for some reason Sakura had expected her former teammate's new allegiance blazed across his forehead in bright, shining steel. A betrayal like Sasuke's should have been accompanied by that much, at least. It was _significant_, what had happened in the past several days. And yet Sasuke didn't look any different than he had when everyone still thought that he was loyal to Konoha.

Sometimes Sakura still managed to be disappointed when life didn't conform to her childhood expectations; where the girl got the handsome boy she had had a crush on since childhood, the heroes prevailed over the villains, and it was clear what side everyone was on. That the handsome boy had turned out to be one of the villains, yet still managed to end up on the side of the heroes, was disappointing. Or at least it contributed to her developing migraine.

When Sakura spoke next, leaning nonchalantly against the counter to hide her low-grade discomfort, her words weren't directed at Sasuke. "What's today's special?"

The ramen shop owner smiled at her in a vaguely familiar way. Sakura only came here often enough for the man to recognize her face, not remember her name. Unlike Naruto, who had once practically lived at the ramen shop. Who should have been here now, if life conformed to childhood expectations. Unfortunately, the real world didn't always lend itself to symmetry. "Miso ramen with bean sprouts, miss."

"I'll have that, then, please."

Sasuke's deep, even voice followed hers. "Beef ramen. Please."

The ramen shop owner smiled again, and turned away, leaving Sasuke and Sakura alone. Sakura hesitated a moment and just looked at her former teammate- though he didn't look at her in return- before moving to sit beside him, in the seat to his left, not out of any desire for physical closeness but because the proximity leant itself to privacy. She didn't want anyone overhearing them, even if nothing meaningful was said. No one had the right.

Sasuke's reticence didn't last long. Despite the changes Sakura had seen him go through over the years, his patience had never grown enough to win at a waiting game. "Why did you tell Sakon that you wanted to meet with me, Sakura?"

There were a lot of reasons. The only reason Sakura hesitated to answer was that she wasn't sure which one Sasuke would accept instead of dismiss like he did with so many of Sakura's thoughts and concerns. She wasn't sure which one would make Sasuke, for once in his life, take what she was saying with the gravity it deserved. "I wanted to talk to you Sasuke… before you left. Because you owe me some answers."

It wasn't the right response. A smirk played over her former teammate's lips. It faded almost immediately, but it lasted long enough that Sakura knew she wasn't being taken seriously. "I don't owe you anything, Sakura."

"Yes, you do. You owe me an explanation for four years of lying to my face."

The contempt that washed over Sasuke's face was left so blatantly undisguised that Sakura was taken aback. She had known for years that Sasuke didn't regard her skills as a shinobi very highly, but she hadn't been aware that what derision her old comrade had shown towards her in the past had actually been toned down. Obviously, now that Sasuke had displayed his true allegiances, he felt no need to hide how little he thought of her. It still managed to sting. "So that's what this is about. You want an apology?" He snorted. "I don't regret anything. I have nothing to apologize for."

It stung, yes. But Sasuke wasn't one of her precious people anymore. He no longer held the ability to make her cry with a harsh word or look. He could just make her very, very angry.

Sakura wanted to hit something. Preferably Sasuke. But unfortunately, they were in public, which meant making a scene would attract attention. And getting someone to notice them- probably an ANBU patrol- would turn their meeting into a complete waste of time.

So Sakura resisted the impulse, though her left hand, hanging out of Sasuke's line of sight, curled into a fist, her nails biting into her palm. And her voice remained even, though she cut off each word with unusual precision. "I'm not asking for an apology, you idiot. I'm asking for an explanation. Even you should know the difference."

It was only then that Sakura commanded her former comrade's full attention. Never, not once, in all the time they had known each other, had Sakura insulted Sasuke to his face. Even after her crush on him had faded had Sakura ever felt confident enough in Sasuke's company to always tell him what she thought, even if he was doing something stupid. She had feared his censure too much. She might have still, if she didn't now know that she had lost Sasuke's regard years ago, if she'd ever had it at all. It was hard to fear losing something you didn't have.

"What did you say?" Sasuke's voice was low, and a little angry. Sakura was glad. You couldn't get worked up over someone if you thought they were of no consequence. No wonder Sasuke had always paid more attention to Naruto than to her. Naruto had never feared Sasuke at all.

"I don't want an apology, Sasuke. But for months before you started taking missions on your own, I had an enemy at my back on missions. I was working with someone who would stab me between the ribs on an order and I didn't even know. I was risking my life every time I was in your company. And I want to know what I was risking my life for. What is so important to you that you defected to Sound Village and put me and Kakashi-sensei at risk?"

The conversation paused as the ramen shop owner returned with their food, but with instincts accumulated over years of serving shinobi lunch, he sensed the tension and made a quick exit. Even after the man had retreated to the back of the shop, Sasuke still didn't reply, just stared at her with his dark, now unreadable eyes. There was no anger in him now. But there wasn't any contempt, either. So Sakura continued with her line of questioning, probing with the clumsiness of one who had only received the most basic training in interrogation, but with the precision of knowing her target far better than most. "Was it because of your brother?"

That got a reaction, however slight. Sasuke's shoulders stiffened, but relaxed just as quickly. "Orochimaru did offer to give me training." Another smile graced Sasuke's face, but this one was less of a smirk and more of a sneer. "Training that I could never get here."

Sakura lost some of the composure that she'd been hanging onto with only supreme effort. "And you're willing to give up your body for _that_?"

For a moment, Sasuke looked puzzled, as if he wasn't sure what she was referring to, but almost immediately his eyes brightened in understanding, and he smirked again. "Konoha intelligence is even more pathetic than I thought. Orochimaru gave up on that course of action almost three years ago."

From what Sakura had heard of the snake sannin, this sounded wildly out of character. "Just like that?"

"There were politics involved that are none of your business. For now, all Orochimaru demands is my allegiance, something that is easy for me to give."

It sounded suspicious, but Sakura was finally getting some of the information she wanted, so she didn't push it. "So that's why it was so easy for you to," something very harsh almost made its way off the tip of Sakura's tongue, but she held back, not wanting to alienate Sasuke now that she was finally beginning to understand, if not forgive. "To switch loyalties. You're hardly giving up anything at all."

Sasuke shook his head. "It's more than that." His body thrummed with no more tension than usual, but it was different than it had been before. Sasuke wasn't so much edgy as he was… excited. Like he was talking about something that was important to him. This shift was startling enough that Sakura started paying more attention to Sasuke's body language as he spoke, trying to figure out just what made this Sasuke so different than the one she thought she had known.

"Konoha is pathetic. It's a stagnant village, and the Godaime's attempts to change it are too late. The future lies elsewhere." His hands clenched into fists. "And I could never stand it here to begin with. It wasn't a hardship to switch my allegiances. It was a relief. The shinobi here are shortsighted and weak-willed, but in Sound… there, no one can afford to let themselves be blinded. I _belong_ there. Sound holds things infinitely more valuable to me than Konoha."

"Like Sakon."

Sasuke snorted. "My bodyguard played little impact on my ultimate decision."

"So that's what he is." Sakura smiled slightly. This wasn't any more familiar ground, but it was much less uncomfortable. Confrontations with her one-time crush were enough to make Sakura want to hide under a rock. Teasing was something she could deal with. "Funny. And here I was thinking you two were lovers."

Sasuke stared at her, the furrow between his brows smoothing out and his clenched hands slowly unfolding, apparently bemused into forgetting his prior intensity. Then he did the last thing Sakura expected. He laughed. It wasn't the broken, bitter sound she had grown accustomed to in their long acquaintance. For the first time since she had known him, Sasuke sounded truly, honestly amused. "Sakon doesn't think me appealing at all." He shot her a dark grin. "He prefers sex with people he doesn't know well enough to want to throttle."

Sakura smiled back at him. "Good to know I'm not the only one who ceased finding you attractive once I actually got to know you."

For a moment as Sasuke's eyebrow raised as if in disbelief, Sakura feared she had crossed the line with her light comment. But apparently not, as he chuckled again, not as strongly as he had the first time but in a way that assured Sakura that her former teammate was still finding their exchange humorous. "I suppose so."

The ramen shop owner returned with their lunch. For a few minutes they ate in silence, their banter having petered itself out. But Sakura didn't want the tension to return again, now that it finally had been broken. But they had so little in common, so little to talk about. Well… except for one thing. "Strange to think that Naruto's alive, isn't it."

Sasuke stared contemplatively down into his empty bowl before again meeting her eyes. "Yes. Yes it is."

Sakura fiddled with her chopsticks, but she finally came out with the thought that had been bothering her ever since Naruto's reappearance and the discovery of Sasuke's betrayal. "Do you think things would have been different… if he'd never left?"

It was slightly gratifying to watch Sasuke truly consider her question, though not as much as it would have been just two or three years before. "I don't know." Then, more honestly. "Probably." After a moment, he pushed himself to his feet, placing some money on the counter as he did so. Then he looked at her again. Really looked at her, as he never had when they had both been members of Team Seven. "I'll be seeing you, Sakura."

It was a lie. Most likely, they would never see each other again. But Sakura didn't mind hearing the lie, and she responded in kind. "Of course, Sasuke." She gave him a small wave. "See you later."

He smiled at her. Then he left.

Sakura finished her lunch alone. But she did so feeling more light-hearted than she had in days. She would never completely forgive Sasuke. But maybe, for the first time, she could begin to understand him. And she couldn't expect anything more.

----

Unlike normal wires, which were usually used to entangle one's opponent, the wires Toyozen Yasuo used were sharpened by chakra and cut through even the toughest body armor like butter. Naruto caught sight of them too late to dodge them even under normal circumstances, and the slick footing the snow and ice provided gave him less traction than usual. If he'd had a sword on him, like he had for the past year, then Naruto could have cut right through the wires and kept on moving. Too bad he hadn't thought to pick one up before he left Konoha. In the end, all Naruto could do was wish he believed in God so he had someone to pray to and brace himself for pain.

It was fortunate Gaara was around. A sudden yank on his left ankle by a tendril of Gaara's sand pulled Naruto onto his back, and his inertia was great enough that he kept on moving, coasting neatly under the wires by a good six inches. Gaara himself pulled the same move, easily making his way under Yasuo's trap with a sliding motion that was significantly more graceful than his partner's.

Both of them were on their feet before the minimal friction of the snow stopped them in their tracks, Naruto cursing under his breath as he stumbled over a particularly slick patch of ice. He was sure he had mentioned how much he and Gaara sucked at reconnaissance at least once. More than once. Over and over and over and over again, in fact, but did anyone listen? No. Of course not. Even Kisame, who was a frequent eyewitness to the pathetic-ness that was his and Gaara's spying abilities, had completely ignored him. The bastard had probably seen this coming. Well, probably not the 'Gin and Yasuo are traitors' bit, but definitely him and Gaara screwing up at some point and having to either kill a large number of people or run for their lives. They so didn't deserve this. What was one legendary blade in the grand scheme of things, really?

And this was Gaara's fault. Naruto was pretty sure on this point. Even if he had told the former Sand-nin to alert him if he saw something, there couldn't possibly be anything that was more important than what Gin and Yasuo and that Mist-nin had planned for Kumogakure and the Akatsuki. Certainly couldn't be important enough that it was worth scaring the hell out of him and making him alert the two other Akatsuki elite to their presence, even if that had been far from Gaara's intention at the time. If they survived the next couple of hours… he would do something. Maybe.

It was then that a shower of ice crystals descended from above, and Naruto only avoided a very painful skewering by the very convenient placement of Gaara's sand shield.

Or maybe he would just keep his mouth shut about the whole stupid incident. "Thanks."

Gaara flicked two fingers at him. :_Thank me later._:

Naruto nodded and absentmindedly ducked under a tree branch that was positioned perfectly to clothesline him. Alright, this wasn't the time to cast blame. He had to think of something. Anything. A plan would be nice.

Too bad Naruto wasn't very good at plans. Cultivating a habit of spontaneity tended to backfire at really bad times.

What did he have to work with? Not much, even in the way of information. Yasuo liked to use wires. He was also a former Cloud-nin. Of course he was. Of course he probably knew the surrounding landscape like the back of his fucking hand. It just wouldn't be fun enough if the enemy didn't have the hometown advantage on top of everything else.

As for Gin... Naruto was pretty sure the pale-haired nin was from Waterfall, so it had probably been him who used the ice jutsu. All the Waterfall-nin Naruto had come across mostly used jutsus loosely based on Mist-nin techniques, just focused more on speed and less on raw power, since Waterfall shinobi didn't have a history of high chakra reserves. But Naruto couldn't even use that. Gin was Akatsuki, so the usual expectations didn't apply to him.

This was so freaking messed up. The scars that marked Naruto's cheeks darkened as he pushed off from the ground with more force than was necessary, only avoiding overshooting the tree branch above with a hasty grab. If this had been Naruto's kind of territory, like the forests surrounding Kaizen and Konoha, if this encounter hadn't occurred less than two miles from Kumogakure where they were likely to be found out and killed in short order, Naruto would have tried to take Gin and Yasuo down. The odds would have probably been about 50/50, but Naruto had won more unlikely fights than that in the past, and right now he was pissed. Just not pissed enough to try and fight when it was the dumbest option available.

Gaara paused under the tree branch Naruto was perched on and looked up at him. The former Sand-nin (as expected) wasn't ruffled at all by the prospect of stopping when they were being pursued by people who wanted to kill them, standing with his arms crossed and his gaze unwavering as he met his partner's red-eyed stare. "What is it, Naruto?"

"Gaara, you go on ahead. Gin and Yasuo don't know who we are yet, and your techniques are too distinctive."

Gaara didn't move. "You think you can defeat them alone?"

Naruto grinned. His sharpened teeth glinted by the harsh reflections of the snow. "Who said anything about defeating them? I think confusing the hell out of them will be good enough to make a clean getaway. Now get moving. You're slower than I am, anyway." He wasn't worried about Gaara being sensed. The former Sand-nin's chakra signature was so foreign that if he suppressed it at all, most shinobi assumed he was some sort of animal.

For a moment, Gaara hesitated. Then he nodded. "I will pick up our traveling supplies and meet you at the rock outcropping we ate breakfast at two days ago. Be there in forty-eight hours or I will assume you are dead and take the information to Kaizen without you."

Naruto grinned again. Four years ago, back when his idealistic view of the shinobi way had prevailed over all common sense, if he had heard someone make Gaara's threat, he would have treated it as a joke. That was four years ago. Now with Gaara, hell, with _anyone_ in the Akatsuki, putting missions above comrades was just how things went. And Gaara was far too sensible to allow anything to get in the way of something as important as an elite partnership's betrayal. In a way, it was slightly comforting. It was nice to know that Gaara hadn't changed, despite everything. "Got it. See you then."

And Gaara left, leaving Naruto alone. Excellent. It was times like this that Naruto could put the experience he'd garnered in Konoha with pulling off pranks and the training he'd received in Kaizen to the use they hadn't been intended for, which was just the way Naruto liked it. He would hardly be deserving of his reputation as a maverick unless he corrupted everything he knew beyond all reasonable measure. Now, how did the hand seals for a Water Clone go again…

----

"Fast little bastards."

Gin made a noncommittal sound deep in his throat as he scanned the area from his precarious position on the utmost branches of one of the tallest pines. "I wonder who they are."

Yasuo snorted. "Doesn't matter. Whoever they are, they can't make it out of here alive."

It was then that five kunai shrieked towards the former Cloud-nin, three embedding themselves in the tree he was next to and the other two being caught neatly by their target. Yasuo smirked. "Guess they've stopped running." Then the explosion note attached to one of the kunai stuck in the tree went off.

Yasuo had barely landed on the snow beneath before he heard a deep voice behind him call out, "Suiton Suishouha- Water Style, Water Collision Destruction Technique!" The enormous torrent of water, while imposing, was easy enough to dodge, but the flurry of shurikan that followed- and came from a completely different direction than both the kunai and water jutsu- caught Yasuo off guard enough that one slammed into his shoulder before he used the earlier caught kunai to deflect the rest.

The former Cloud-nin stopped long enough to snarl at his partner, "You said there were only two of them," before another voice- this one slightly higher and a little scratchy- from yet another direction began chanting.

"Suiton Suiryuudan no Jutsu – Water Style, Water Dragon Projectile Technique!"

Gin's low murmurings quickly followed those of their fourth opponent, and the dragon froze, then shattered, mere feet from Yasuo's new position standing on a thin branch halfway up a smaller pine. Their unseen enemy chose then to make an appearance, and Yasuo's peripheral vision flickered in time for him to grab the fist that had been aimed for his face. He caught the second punch similarly, almost losing his purchase on the branch's bark, to find himself face to face with the distinctive mask of a Mist hunter-nin. Yasuo just took enough time to register this before slamming a knee right below the Mist-nin's ribcage, sending him hurtling towards the forest floor. The hunter-nin twisted in time to land on his feet and flickered back into the undergrowth.

Yasuo pushed off, setting down so neatly back-to-back with his partner in the snow that an outside observer would have thought it choreographed and practiced beforehand. "Looks like Roka wasn't as careful as he thought he was. He brought some friends with him. Probably just trying to distract us so one of them can escape and report back to the Mizukage."

Gin shook his head, which at this proximity Yasuo more sensed than felt. "There are normally four to a Mist hunter-nin squad. There wouldn't be another. And I don't sense anyone moving away from us."

Yasuo nodded, trusting in his partner's superior sensing abilities. Then he grinned, his scars making the expression grotesque. "If we don't have to chase after some Mist-nin mouse, then I can have some real fun." His hands began to crackle and spark. "I always wondered how hunter-nin taste cooked."

The fight didn't last long. The hunter-nin's chakra reserves either weren't very high or they had used them up just getting to Kumogakure, because none of them managed to get off more than two more jutsus of B-rank or higher before they began to resort to taijutsu, flickering in and out of the cover of the trees. After that, they didn't stand a chance. You didn't want to get within arms' reach of someone whose preferred method of killing was garroting his enemies.

However, for Yasuo, at least, the battle ended on a disappointing note. One by one, as they realized they no longer possessed the stamina to fight, the hunter-nin moved their hands through a series of seals and dissolved, leaving no traces behind. The Mist version of suicide, liquefying themselves to make sure their enemies couldn't get a hold of their secrets. The last almost didn't make it, his windpipe crushed beyond use, collapsing as his legs melted beneath him.

Yasuo licked the blood from his knuckles where he had punched one of the hunter-nin in the face and a fragment of the Mist-nin's mask had sliced through his skin. "What a waste of time that was."

For a moment, Gin said nothing, just stood there with his eyes closed. Then… "We have to go. Cloud shinobi will be arriving soon."

At that, both Akatsuki disappeared, one with a crack of thunder that melted the snow around him, the other giving no sign that he had ever been there at all.

----

About thirty yards away, Naruto rolled onto his back from his position hidden under the snow with a white blanket thrown over him and chuckled until his sides hurt, though the sound was weak and failing. Coming up with four separate Mist personas to henge the clones into in three minutes had been a pain in the ass, though the masks had meant he didn't have to go into too much variety for the faces, at least. He had been gambling that the costume Haku had used to fool Team Seven years ago had been the genuine article when he had based all four hunter-nin uniforms off of the Mist missing-nin's, including the masks- though he had made some allowance for the cold weather by adding thick turtlenecks and socks to the ensemble- but it seemed to have paid off. Pouring so much chakra into the water clones so they could use advanced techniques hadn't been fun, though. Naruto hadn't dared use the Kyuubi's chakra while making the clones for fear that the strangeness of the chakra would be noticed, and even if his energy reserves were pretty damn big, they weren't infinite.

Good thing Kisame had spent years drilling Mist jutsus into him, else he wouldn't have bothered with the trick at all. Hell, if the suicide technique hadn't been so easy and convenient to pull off with clones made of water, the whole charade still would have been a bust. Hard to make clones die realistically when you have to reform them every time one of them got hit and turned back into water. That had been hell to orchestrate, constantly having more clones waiting in the wings that displayed various injuries so Naruto could have them pop in whenever Yasuo landed an attack on one of their brethren. It had been way more complicated than the most Machiavellian of pranks he had used back in Leaf Village. But then, this left Naruto feeling much more accomplished than the pranks ever had. Also a lot more tired.

He really shouldn't stick around so close to Kumogakure. But he was well hidden, and he had two days to meet up with Gaara. He had some time to kill. So Naruto rolled back over, slammed a nearby tree with his fist so more snow would fall on the blanket and cover signs of his presence, and closed his eyes. Within minutes, he was asleep.


	28. Losing Your Way Bereft of a Map

Author's Note: Told you I'd be faster this time. However, I'm going to be as slow as hell for Chapter 29, probably, because even though I'm going to have more time to write now that summer is coming, I have plans to do a rewrite of this story, and that's going to take ages. It's going to be a major rewrite, with major plot changes, enough that you might actually want to reread the story because otherwise you're going to be very confused. For one, there's going to be a prologue, and for various reasons Chapters 2 and 3 are probably going to be squashed into one. And a lot of other stuff, but you'll have to wait and see.

Also, I had a picture done of Hirayama Reiko (the Akatsuki commander), Roka (the Mist-nin who chatted with Gin and Yasuo in Chapter 26), Takamura Ichiro (the Raikage), and Takamura Kenji (the Raikage's brother, killed in Chapter 18 by Sasuke). It is very pretty, and helps gives some context as to the characters. Here it is (take out the spaces, as usual): www. deviantart. com/ view/ 32758220/

"You're back late."

"Feh." There was the sound of a coat being dropped to the floor. The somewhat heavier sound of a flak jacket doing to same soon followed. When Shikamaru finally crawled into bed, by civilian standards he was still fully clothed, but Temari smiled as her lover wrapped his arm around her waist. By the feel of Shikamaru's naked skin through his shirt, he had left with his flak jacket the thin assassin's blade he habitually carried around. The blade he had carried around, never far from his grasp, ever since the mission where he had lost his arm over a year ago. This was the first time he had done so since they started sleeping together, and Temari appreciated the gesture of trust, though she was curious as to what had prompted the change. Still, by Shikamaru standards, it was romantic, and Temari decided not to ruin the moment with probing questions.

"What kept you?"

He shrugged. The light was too dim to see by properly, but their proximity made it easy for Temari to tell. "Hokage-sama grilled me for two hours about my analysis of her meeting with Uchiha Itachi and what information I had on the Akatsuki. Knew plenty about the organization, but I couldn't see squat during the meeting. Don't know why she insisted I shadow walk the entire thing, but it drained the hell out of me and I could barely tell what was going on. I'm pretty sure Uchiha still knew I was there, too, so it was a complete waste of chakra, as usual. Would've been back sooner, but I had to wait for her councilors to finish bitching her out before I could report to her. Took forever."

Shadow walk. It was a phrase Shikamaru only mentioned in passing and never bothered to explain, but Temari had a feeling it wasn't a jutsu Shikamaru had been taught by his father. To walk within the shadows. To become one. It had kinjutsu written all over it, but Temari never pressed. It was the reason, after all, that Shikamaru had been appointed to lead the Hokage's personal espionage team, even after the grievous injury that left him crippled and should have forced him to retire from the shinobi profession forever.

He had gained a reputation in that role that rivaled one of a far more experienced shinobi, but to Temari, Shikamaru didn't seem changed from the boy who had defeated her in the Chuunin Finals four years ago only to forfeit his victory for no good reason. Maybe a little wiser, a little stronger, but otherwise still the brilliant, lazy genin who didn't care about much, really, when you got right down to it, except sleeping and making sure his comrades survived long enough to get the mission done, or at least home safely.

Temari had never feared Shikamaru and never would, though she knew he was the superior strategist and spy. In a fair fight, she was still stronger, still superior on the field of open battle. Too bad fair fights and open battles were so uncommon as to be unusual, when you were a shinobi. Not that it mattered. She knew he cared about her, though he could never gather up the necessary energy to say as much. He might very well kill her if the Hokage ordered it, but since she no longer answered to a foreign village, the chances of that were close to zero unless she decided to betray Konoha.

Shikamaru was not the person she loved most in the world. Kankuro, annoying little brother that he was, had carved out that niche years before Shikamaru had even come into the picture, and would likely hold it for eternity. However, the spy-master did beat out Gaara for second place by quite a large margin.

There were a number of things that had finally made Temari decide that Shikamaru was worth it. How he had never looked at her with suspicion in his eyes as had everyone else in Konoha at some point in her and time here, even those who eventually grew to trust her. How he knew, how he had always known, that Konoha wasn't her home, and didn't expect her to forget what she had left behind. It was the fact that he didn't try to make her into something she wasn't. A Leaf-nin. Something she would never, ever be, even if she lived one thousand years in Konoha.

It occasionally saddened her that she valued her lover over her youngest brother, but it was the truth, and remained so even after her and Kankuro had reconciled with Gaara. Gaara was her brother, but there had only been two years of relative tranquility in their relationship before everything had fallen apart. Blood wasn't enough to make her care about someone at the expense of all else. Temari loved Gaara, but the time had long since passed where there would be a chance of them ever growing close.

Still, she appreciated him coming over to tell her and Kankuro that he was leaving on a mission. Apparently a few years in a criminal organization had given him a much-needed kick in the ass when it came to social niceties. Like not leaving your siblings to wonder where you were for several weeks while you wandered off to God-knows-where. It had also given her an excuse to make a nice meal, officially a farewell celebration but really more of a 'welcome to the family (again), it's your turn to do the dishes' dinner. Shikamaru had the tact to make himself scarce for the evening. Even if the scarred Leaf-nin did spend approximately two out of three nights in Temari and Kankuro's apartment instead of his own, Gaara didn't know just how much the shadow manipulator was usually around. Or as Kankuro put it, "Our little brother doesn't know that last month wasn't the first time I walked in on you and your one-armed lover boy screwing each other, and let's not enlighten him if we can possible help it, 'kay?"

It had been pleasant. Probably the most pleasant meal they'd ever had together, as their last had been rudely interrupted by a village-wide invasion. Then Gaara left, and Temari and Kankuro returned to their normal lives. Which included Shikamaru walking into her room at all hours. It was a good thing he knew where all the traps were, or there might have been a problem.

It was obvious to Temari that Shikamaru was too tired to give a detailed synopsis of his day. But she still wanted a little more than what he had given her. "Did anything interesting happen at the meeting, at least?"

Shikamaru gave another shrug. "The other Uchiha walked in and gave his spiel about an alliance between Otogakure and Konohagakure, which threw everyone for a loop for a while after he left, but besides that, nothing really."

"Were you?"

"Was I what?"

Temari rolled her eyes. For a genius, it was amazing how deliberately dense her lover could act sometimes. "Were you thrown for a loop?"

"Of course not. I already knew."

What Shikamaru didn't say was, "The Godaime already told me." Because in all likelihood, she hadn't. She didn't need to. No matter where something took place, there were almost always shadows for the leader of the Hokage's personal espionage team to walk in.

"An alliance with Otogakure is an interesting prospect." Temari didn't care either way about Sound. They may have orchestrated the ruse that had pushed Sand to help them invade Konoha four years ago, which had caused them no end of trouble (Gaara's newfound sanity notwithstanding), but they had also killed the Yondaime Kazekage, their bastard of a father, a favor for humanity in general and Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara in particular, so it evened out.

The bed creaked as Shikamaru shifted his weight. For several seconds the only sound was their quiet breathing. Shikamaru's voice, when he finally bothered to speak up, broke through the silence with a suddenness that almost seemed to make the air crack. "Troublesome. All of it is. Don't know why everyone thinks war is worth the problems that it brings. Hashing out treaties is almost as bad." He let the silence take over again. "People are fools."

Temari smiled. Shikamaru was only echoing her own opinions, but never before had he actually agreed with her. "It is becoming very complicated here in Konoha."

"Che." He shifted again. "Too complicated for my tastes."

"Mine, as well." Then she turned to face him. She might not have had her lover's experience in the espionage field, but she could still sense an opening when she heard one, and wasn't hesitant about taking advantage. She had already waited long enough to bring this up. "But how willing are you to do something other than complain, Shikamaru?"

He didn't answer. The darkness was too pervasive for her to see his face. The wait was long enough that she had almost drifted to sleep before he finally replied. "It matters what you have in mind for me to do."

Temari smiled again. It was too dark for him to see, but still, Shikamaru smiled back.

----

It was a little less than a week after Tsunade had put a young man on her operating table that she didn't expect to live through the next five minutes that she found herself letting the same young man out of her care, despite the fact that according to conventional medical knowledge, he shouldn't have been walking for at least another three weeks. Such were the surprises that came from dealing with patients that had abilities within them that they hadn't felt like sharing with her. That, among other things, was irksome. Even if Sakon healed more quickly than the average person, he was far from the pinnacle of health. If the situation hadn't been as unusual as it was, she would have refused to let him leave his bed for another two or three days at least.

However, the situation was very unusual, bordering on bizarre, which was why Tsunade was currently standing at the main entrance gates of Konohagakure, talking with the presumed apprentice and heir-in-theory of Otogakure's leader, a man who a long time ago had been her comrade, somewhat more recently her enemy, and was now a possible ally. It was strange how things had worked out. "You do realize that it is against my judgment as a doctor that you leave so soon."

Sasuke's expression was studiously unoffensive. Though Tsunade could still sense a flicker of contempt in the Uchiha's chakra signature, she had to give the boy credit for actually putting some effort into hiding his feelings about her repeating something he'd already heard more than once. It seemed as if his transition in loyalties had made Sasuke more aware of the need for tact. Or maybe he just didn't feel like going into it when he was so close to leaving. "Sakon says he's ready to go." Tsunade rolled her eyes. In her experience, all shinobi, whatever village they were from, said they were ready long before they were. She'd call it machismo, if it weren't prevalent among the kunoichi as well.

Sasuke, as expected (for all the young man's arrogance, he was far from oblivious), noticed her derisive gesture, and drilled her with one of his dead-eye stares, though his tone was surprisingly dry as he pointed out, "Even if he isn't completely healed, there isn't anything more you can do. He can finish recovering from his injuries in Sound. Besides," and the Uchiha fingered the scroll tied to his belt, "the sooner Orochimaru gets this, the better things will be for you."

Tsunade smirked. "You'd better get used to calling him Orochimaru-sama, kid. But you are right. That's the only reason I'm letting you leave with a patient of mine who should still be in a hospital, not taking a cross country trip." The Godaime glanced around, but the only people in evidence were a pair of ANBU that were her assigned guards for the day, as her councilors had decided to show their disapproval of her recent decisions by not showing up at the main gates to see off the heir to Sound Village. Not that she cared. "Where is your subordinate, anyway?"

Before Sasuke had time to formulate a response, Sakon flashed into sight, landing neatly beside his Uchiha superior. "Sorry I'm late."

After duly noting the Sound forehead protector now gripped in the Sound-nin's left hand, Tsunade moved on. "There are several things I need to cover with each of you before you go." She addressed the new arrival first. "Sakon, at your current rate of recovery, your body should be at optimum levels in about two weeks, which is still over a month faster than it should be, but please do try to keep any activity to a minimum until then. That includes this trip. Taking a few more hours to get to Sound isn't going to affect things much one way or the other. I hate it when a patient ruins all my hours of hard work because of thoughtlessness, and I won't fix you again. Keep in mind that most of the injuries you still have are likely to scar, but I tried to diminish the effects they will have on your movements." Sakon nodded, so Tsunade turned to the taller Sound-nin.

"Sasuke," and it was here Tsunade sighed. "I am actually a little sorry about this, but according to the laws that deal with missing-nin, by forgoing your status as a Konoha shinobi, you forfeit all rights to property and possessions within Konoha's borders. That includes the Uchiha ancestral home and everything within it."

Sasuke didn't flinch, though he did ask, "No exceptions, then?"

"I've made enough exceptions for you, Sasuke. I cannot make one about this."

Sasuke nodded, his expression even. Then he turned away. "Very well. Sakon, we're leaving."

The shorter Sound-nin shot Tsunade one last look, before he too turned, and walked out the gates. Tsunade watched them go.

----

"It doesn't bother you to lose the place where your family lived, Sasuke-sama?"

"I wish they'd burn it to the ground."

Sakon glanced sideways at Sasuke, surprised at the dark-haired shinobi's harsh words. Sasuke's face was grim, though there was a quirk to his lips Sakon wasn't sure how to interpret.

"The Uchiha clan is dead in Konoha. It would only be fitting if what they left behind should disappear as well."

----

Tsunade waited until the two Sound-nin had disappeared into the forest to say, still looking out past the gates, "Anko, you can come out now."

The special jounin did so, jutsuing to appear at Tsunade's back. The younger woman didn't bother with a greeting, or asking how the Godaime had known she was there. Not that Tsunade had expected her to. Anko was blunt and unpolished at the best of times, and the current situation wasn't likely to dispose her towards proper manners. "You shouldn't have let them go."

Tsunade didn't turn to face Anko, but continued to look out the gates. "And what would you have had me do, Anko?"

The special jounin's response was immediate and unwavering. "Kill them. Get rid of two Sound-nin and strip that bastard Orochimaru," Anko spit the name out like it was acid burning her tongue, "of the Uchiha bloodline and a pet bodyguard in the process."

Tsunade smiled slightly. She knew she shouldn't find the special jounin's attitude humorous, but at this point she was willing to find mirth in just about anything. "That might put a bit of a kink in our treaty proceedings if I had murdered two of Sound Village's elite."

"You're a fool to even consider forming an alliance with Orochimaru."

At her side, her two ANBU guard shifted, but with a flick of her fingers, Tsunade wordlessly ordered them to stand down. She moved to look Anko in the eye. "Considering the emotional ties you have to this issue, Anko, I am willing to let some insubordination slip. This once. But not again. And stop glaring like that at me, you little girl. You think I don't know Orochimaru? He was my teammate for over thirty years. I know him far better than you ever did or will. And I have some idea of how to handle him, even if it has been a while."

Anko's eyes blazed at the insult, but she made a visible effort to control herself. Still, when she replied in kind, her words came bitten off and with a distinct edge of hostility. "You think you have Orochimaru figured out just because you used to be teammates, but you don't. You can't. He'll turn on Konoha at the soonest opportunity if you sign a treaty with him. He'll kill _everybody-_" At the end, the rage the special jounin had been trying so desperately to hold onto slipped, and for a moment Anko's true feelings, desperation that bordered so closely on fear that they were almost indistinguishable, spiked through, making her chakra jump as well. The special jounin covered it up almost immediately, but it was enough to make Tsunade change her strategy.

Still, she really wasn't in the mood to deal with this. Tsunade sighed irritably and pinched the bridge of her nose. "You're perspective of Orochimaru is skewed. He's powerful, but he isn't a god." Anko seemed skeptical of this, which brought Tsunade a moment of amusement. The legend of the sannin had been something to behold even when the three had still been comrades, and of course Anko's personal experience with Orochimaru had been from the perspective of a student, so her perspective couldn't be anything but biased. Still, it was funny, in a morbid sort of way, to think that the silent bookworm from forty, fifty odd years ago was now synonymous in Konohagakure with the boogeyman. No wonder everyone had so much trouble coming to terms with the idea of an alliance with Otogakure.

Anko's skepticism, as ridiculous as it was, made Tsunade feel obliged to point out, "Believe it or not, as much as Sound Village's power has grown, we still outnumber them by a large margin, and they would stand no chance if they attacked us again. And besides, no matter what impression you got of him when he taught you, Orochimaru hardly lives to betray people. He just does it when it suits his interest." Anko's body language at this put Tsunade to mind of grudging agreement. They both had too much experience with Orochimaru's self-serving nature to deny it.

"Anko, to make sure he sticks to a treaty, _if_ we end up forming one, all we have to do is make sure it's in his best interest to stay on our side. The fact that Orochimaru is even considering dealing with Konoha means that he either wants something or needs something from us. And I am going to make sure that it's something he gets only if Konoha is in one piece. So stop worrying so much. Treaty proceedings are my jurisdiction, and you can't do anything about them anyway."

Anko scowled, though the tension in her frame had receded somewhat. "No matter what you say, you can't predict Orochimaru. Forming this treaty of yours is the worst idea I've heard from you since you became Hokage."

Tsunade snorted. "Think whatever you want. Just don't go trumpeting your thoughts all over Konoha. I have enough people complaining as it is, and a village split on this issue will just make things more difficult."

Anko scowled again at this, but apparently she finally recognized that Tsunade wasn't going to listen to her, and teleported away in an abrupt poof of smoke. Tsunade snorted. The rudeness of that woman was really something to behold

She turned back to look out the gates, but the chakra signatures of the two Sound-nin had long since moved out of range. Tsunade couldn't help but let out another sigh. "Damn it, I told them not to travel so quickly… wouldn't surprise me if that boy falls on his face at the rate they're moving." She scowled. "Would serve him right for not listening to me." Both of her ANBU guards wisely chose to remain silent.

Tsunade didn't honestly believe that Sakon deserved any more injury after what he had already been through, as she had become a bit fond of the scarred, silent young man while he had been under her care for the past week, but still, the stupidity of youth was enough to make her wonder how any shinobi survived to twenty. It made her feel old.

----

Kakashi wasn't surprised to come across Gai when he went to the western training grounds in the morning. The taijutsu master was extremely fanatical about his training, enough to put pretty much everyone else to shame (barring his student, Rock Lee, but that was only to be expected; Lee modeled his training methods after his sensei's, after all). What surprised him was Gai jumping to his feet from the pushup position (number 647), knocking the pile of stones off his back in the process, as soon as he caught sight of Kakashi. It seemed that for once the other jounin was just working on part of his usual training regime instead of trying to complete one of his ridiculous challenges, so could actually stop without making himself hop a thousand laps around Konoha on one foot or whatever torture he felt appropriate at the moment. "My eternal rival, I am most happy to see you at this hour!"

This was the greeting Kakashi expected. If Kakashi had come in through Gai's window at three in the morning, Gai would have been happy to see him at that hour. Anko, on the other hand, would not be so happy, and probably would throw something sharp at him. Also expected. Even if they had come to some terms after she had became engaged to Gai, they still didn't like each other, and she liked him less when he attempted to monopolize Gai's time.

What happened next, however, was not so expected. It didn't set any alarm bells off in Kakashi's head when Gai trotted over, grinning, but the fist that shot out and caught Kakashi on the jaw came, in Kakashi's opinion, out of nowhere. He was still seeing stars when he heard Gai exclaim, "And that is for your horrid negligence of your female student, Kakashi!"

Then Gai hauled Kakashi to his feet and looked at him expectantly. So Kakashi did his best to live up to expectations. "Ow." Gai was still waiting, so Kakashi tried again. "Huh?"

Gai looked disappointed. "I had thought we had already gone over your unintentional callousness towards your students, Kakashi, but obviously you didn't learn anything from our previous discussion."

Gai's persistence in calling Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura Kakashi's students, even though he hadn't taught any of them shit in ages (it helped that Naruto had been presumed dead until little more than a week ago) was something Kakashi had learned to tolerate, but something told Kakashi that wasn't what the Lotus master had been referring to. "… That's nice."

Gai scowled. "Your hip modern attitude is as cool as ever Kakashi, but it isn't appropriate right now! Sakura has been feeling very hurt by how you've been acting lately!"

Kakashi tried to remember the last time he had seen Sakura. There had been that village-wide meeting about the coming Akatsuki delegation the day the four elite missing-nin showed up, but he thought that he had been very empathetic and understanding (for once), and besides, that had been ages ago. Otherwise he hadn't seen her in... oh. She had been at the hospital, when he thought about it, though only now in retrospect did Kakashi remember that Sakura had been in the room when he had been speaking with Naruto. And Sasuke. She hadn't said much at the time.

"… Hurt, huh? That's too bad." Kakashi scratched the back of his head as Gai's scowl deepened. "… I guess you want me to apologize to her too?"

Gai nodded fiercely. "Exactly!"

"… What am I apologizing to her for again?"

The scowl returned. Combined with Gai's usual exuberant body language, the image the other jounin projected was almost comical. Almost. It would have been funnier if Kakashi didn't know that Gai could punch a hole through a wall. "For ignoring her!"

As much as Kakashi appreciated Gai's attempts to keep him on speaking terms with one-time coworkers, sometimes he wondered how tinted the taijutsu master's rose-colored glasses were. That Gai didn't notice that of all the jounin and chuunin Kakashi knew, it was only him that Kakashi spoke to about anything except business on a regular basis. That Gai was the only person Kakashi considered a friend. Kakashi had lost too many friends in the past to make them with any sort of ease.

"I plan to keep ignoring her, Gai. We don't speak socially." It wasn't that Kakashi didn't care; he did. He kept tabs on his former students- or just student, now that Sasuke was gone- and visited when something went wrong on a mission to talk them through it, but he didn't have anything to say to them most of the time. Now that the number of his former students that were still loyal to Konoha had been reduced to one, Kakashi had even less to say then usual. With Sakura, touchy subjects would be at an all time high, and that didn't make for comfortable interaction.

Gai looked ready to explode. All Kakashi did was shrug. "Not everyone can be as involved in their former students' lives as you are. Besides, this deal with Sound Village is keeping me busy. Keeping tags on the people who are plotting treason now that they think our Hokage's lost her mind is a full-time job for everyone. The stock of coffee in the jounin lounge ran out days ago, and that decaf stuff is just..."

Kakashi trailed off as at the mention of Sound Village, all of the energy that usually thrummed throughout Gai's body just… leaked away, so rapidly that Kakashi actually took a step forward in preparation to catch the bowl-cut jounin if he collapsed. "Gai?"

The other jounin didn't fall on his face, despite the rag doll body language he was giving off, but he did shift into a crouch, staring at the dirt ground emptily. "Sound…"

It took Kakashi several seconds to figure out what he was seeing, if only because the emotion the taijutsu master was projecting had no right to be within the same time zone as Gai. Gai was _depressed_. Gai was_ never_ depressed.

Kakashi almost felt obliged to push the Lotus master on the issue because according to the shrink he had been forced to go to that one time, Being There Was What Friends Did, but if there was one thing Gai wasn't (besides depressed, normally, but Kakashi was willing to let that one slide for a first-time offense), was reticent. Meaning he would talk when he felt like it. And because Kakashi was a patient person, he pulled out _Icha Icha Paradise, Volume Three_ (it was beginning to become a bit dull after the forty-seventh read through, but his library was limited), leaned against a nearby stump, and waited. It didn't take long.

"Anko… she-" Gai stopped before he had even made it to a verb, and moved back into a standing position before abruptly changing the subject. "Could you please direct me to the bar that has the vodka with the highest alcohol content, my eternal rival? I feel that this is an appropriate time to become inebriated."

For some reason, Kakashi thought it necessary to point out the obvious, but then, it was turning out to be that sort of day, "Since when do you deliberately set out to get drunk?"

"Since now."

Kakashi knew it had been too soon to call an unofficial truce with Anko. What the hell had the woman done that was so bad that it made _Gai_ of all people think it necessary to become totally wasted? "It's nine in the morning, Gai. Most of the bars won't open until evening."

Gai sighed. "That is unfortunate. I thought training would be enough to get my mind off it, but…"

Watching Gai stare disconsolately at nothing, Kakashi wondered what was so great about interpersonal relationships that a friendship with someone as uncomplicated as Gai could make his head hurt more than an S-class mission. He couldn't imagine trying to figure out someone with actual _issues_ he'd have to help with. Hell, he just had to remember trying to fix Sasuke and how miserably that had gone to make him realize that he was wildly unsuited to have friends.

Unfortunately, Gai was already his friend. Meaning Kakashi was obliged (he was really beginning to hate that word) to help him with whatever was bothering him. It would be easier if Kakashi actually knew what the problem _was_, but it looked like he'd just have to improvise. So he put down his book, pushed off from the stump, took a deep breath, and said, "Gai… I challenge you."

Gai's disconsolate stare at nothing abruptly became a disbelieving stare at Kakashi. "What was that?"

Kakashi was already regretting his chosen course of action, but pushed on gamely anyway. "We're tied at… eighty-nine all, right? If you win, you'll pull ahead again." Which meant Gai would be in an annoyingly perky mood for the next few days, but in comparison to his disturbingly depressed mood, it was a vast improvement. Of course, if Gai lost (because Kakashi didn't dare lose on purpose; Gai knew him too well to not notice if he dogged it), he would put himself through some ridiculous self-punishment, but at least that would distract him from whatever was bothering him about Anko. That bitch.

Gai was still looking at him as if he was unsure whether his rival had been replaced by some Cloud-nin using a very accurate henge. "Kakashi… this is unlike you."

Kakashi shrugged. "Yeah, well… not like I have anything better to do right now." For one, the release date of _Icha Icha Paradise, Volume Four_ had been pushed back another month, and he had reread the original trilogy already once this week.

Gai gave him one last considering look. Then he grinned, one of his trademarked teeth pinging grins that blinded nearby forest animals and anyone unfortunate enough to be in a one-hundred foot radius. Good thing Kakashi had long since gained an immunity, or there might have been a problem. "Kakashi, I challenge you!"

"I already said that."

The taijutsu user's face momentarily fell, before he brightened up again. "As it is my turn to choose the challenge, we will now proceed with a wrestling match!" He moved into the appropriate stance. "On your guard, my eternal rival!"

Oh shit. An image of him and Gai rolling around in the dirt flashed through Kakashi's mind, and it suddenly felt as if the temperature of the air surrounding him shot up by twenty or thirty degrees. This was _not_ going to make getting over Gai any easier. Even if Anko would deserve it if he and Gai got it on right here and right now, Gai was too damned honorable to even consider an affair. It didn't help that despite appearances, Gai was as straight as a well-honed kunai edge. "Er…" Kakashi's mind raced frequently. The last thing he wanted to do was wrestle. Meaning he had to suggest an alternate challenge, but something told him that rock-paper-scissors wouldn't cut it this time. "I was thinking... a weapons fight. I've noticed you've been a little rusty with your nunchaku lately…"

That did it. Gai straightened indignantly. "I have not! And I accept your challenge!"

In something less than two seconds, Kakashi found himself ducking a flurry of Gai's well-aimed swings. He winced as one caught him on the shoulder. It looked like the Lotus master wasn't rusty after all. But at least this was better than the alternative. He could find out what was actually bothering his friend later.

Another swing came towards Kakashi's face, avoiding his temple only by a hair as Kakashi threw himself sideways, pulling out two kunai as he did so. Of course, in order to find out what was bothering Gai, he'd have to get through this without getting his head bashed in. Which meant it would probably smart to go on the counterattack. Like now. So he did.

The fight lasted a good hour, and by the end of it Kakashi had a number of bruises and at least one cracked rib. He hadn't quite managed to give as good as he had got; the first blow Gai had landed put the bowl-cut jounin in the lead, but at least the taijutsu user had a few rents in his uniform- with matching cuts beneath- to show for it. His cheek was also swelling rather nicely, but as that was the result of Kakashi kicking Gai in the side of the head and not a kunai wound, Kakashi was pretty sure it didn't count.

Even though it must have stung a little to shift the muscles in his face, Gai was grinning anyway as he secreted his nunchaku back into the pouch tied to his waist. "An excellent spar, Kakashi! However, as I did manage to land one more blow than yourself, I am again in the lead at 90-89!"

Kakashi shrugged and pulled out a cleaning cloth to wipe the blood off his pair of kunai. "I think I'll live with the disappointment, Gai." Especially seeing as his plan looked to have worked perfectly. He wasn't called a genius for nothing.

Gai's grin didn't waver. "An expected response! But I will not let your calm self-assurance take away from my-"

Both of them felt the chakra expand near the main gate, flickering back to normal proportions too quickly for Kakashi to identify its source. Of course. It wasn't a chakra he had bothered to make himself overly familiar with. But Gai had. And almost immediately, his smile that Kakashi had worked so hard to bring about was gone.

"Anko…" He abruptly turned away. "I am sorry, my eternal rival, but I forgot myself. I shouldn't have taken your challenge. It wasn't appropriate. I let my youthful passion take the better of me."

Kakashi sighed. So much for all his hard work. Sometimes friendships really sucked. "Gai, don't be stupid-"

Gai plowed on through Kakashi's interruption with the obliviousness only a newcomer to the feeling called Depression could pull off. "Anko, my poisonous flower is... troubled by the thought of an alliance with Sound Village. Troubled enough, in fact, that I believe her to be one of the people you mentioned whose words are bordering on treasonous.

"I don't agree with her, but I don't have the history with Orochimaru that she does, and nothing I say will allay her fears. She…" and it was here Gai hesitated. Like he wasn't sure that what he was about to say was something Kakashi should know. That hurt. Gai told him everything, the sole exception being his plans to propose to Anko, and that had cut him deeply enough that he almost refused when Gai asked him to take the part of best man.

Gai hesitated. But he didn't stop. "She told me that she was ready to have a child, before I revealed to her our honorable Godaime's plans concerning Sound. And now she says that it will never happen. That she would not risk our child being born into a world where Orochimaru has free access to Konoha.

"I want… I want a child, Kakashi. My beloved Lee is like a son to me, but he is grown up now and will soon be making a family of his own. But now it isn't possible. I will not argue with my wife. Not about this. Not about something she believes with all her heart and soul."

There wasn't much Kakashi could say to that that Gai would want to hear. But he tried anyway, because That Was What Friends Did (and for once, what Kakashi wanted to do), walking over to the Lotus master and laying a hand on his shoulder. "It will be all right, Gai." ((Because even if you will not argue with her, I will. I let Anko have you because I thought she might bring you happiness. But I will not let her keep you if all she brings you is grief.)) And that was something _he _believed, with far, far more than just his heart and soul.

----

"You can't hold me here forever. I haven't done anything wrong." The man looked confident in his words, even on his knees and his arms twisted behind his back. Even with a dried trail of blood running from his hairline to his jaw from where he had, according to the ANBU currently holding him down, hit his head against the doorframe in his struggles to escape. Tokusaka Kisho, waiter and part owner of the _Nimbus_, a mid-range restaurant operating near the fringe of Kumogakure. Thirty-seven years old, married, no children, one sister, widowed, three children. Parents deceased. Also seen two days ago speaking with a blond foreigner.

Not that Roka really cared if one inconsequential civilian started complaining about the decisions of government, but the presence of a foreigner asking questions in Cloud Village only a few weeks after the attempted invasion of Leaf was too well-timed to be coincidental. The ANBU who had been in the _Nimbus_ during the conversation between the foreigner and Tokusaka hadn't been able to place the foreigner's accent, except to note that he might have spent some time living near the borders of Cloud Country. But that didn't mean the blond man couldn't have been a Leaf-nin. If Konoha had spent a spy, they wouldn't have been foolish enough to send one who couldn't at least partially disguise his origins.

Still, even if Tokusaka Kisho wasn't very important in the grand scheme of things, it wouldn't do to let words against the Raikage (however well-intentioned on Tokusaka's part) and his Mist-nin advisor (which hadn't, according to the ANBU, been well-intentioned at all) spread too far into the populace. Everyone was unhappy as it was over the failure in Konoha, and they didn't need a civil war on top of everything else. Or rather, Roka didn't. Things were coming to a head too soon to let anything interfere. Even as something as minor as this. "Kisho-san, disparaging Cloud while talking to a foreigner is treason, especially during a time of war."

Kisho's face went red. "Like you're one to speak of treason _or_ foreigners, you backstabbing Mist Village b-" The ANBU holding Kisho down snarled a hand in his hair and slammed his face into the floor. When the waiter's head was again raised, blood dripped from his nose onto the polished stone.

Roka looked mildly at the ANBU guard. "That was unnecessary, Risou. No one here is likely to care about Kisho-san's opinion of me." The ANBU nodded, and loosened his grip on Kisho's hair.

Roka turned his gaze back to the waiter. "Because of this incident with the foreigner, Kisho-san, I do have a few questions for you."

The waiter opened his mouth- presumably to issue another insult- when the door creaked open and whatever the man was going to say was cut off by the sudden voice of the Raikage saying, "What do you think you are doing, Roka?"

At his Raikage's words, all the tension in Kisho's body drained out, apparently in relief, his bravado forgotten in the face of the leader of Kumogakure. Roka himself didn't feel much of anything except slight irritation. He hadn't expected Ichiro to take a break from his work and go for his daily wanderings throughout the building for at least another hour. "I'm questioning one of your subjects about a possible conspiracy with the enemy, Raikage-sama."

Kisho paled. "I wasn't… Raikage-sama, I was only-"

Ichiro sighed through his teeth. The honorable Raikage, Roka couldn't help but notice, looked rather tired, the bags under his eyes appearing prominent as they usually only did after working through the night, and his expression was pinched. How interesting. Most likely it was the condolence letters again. Those did tend to take it out of the man. How a leader could take the deaths of his subordinates so personally was beyond Roka. It was a wonder Ichiro hadn't collapsed from the sheer weight of his guilt complex years ago.

It did seem, however, that he was coming pretty close. Ichiro was rubbing his face tiredly even as he said, "I don't really care. Never mind, I don't have time to deal with some civilian." The way more blood drained out of Kisho's face at his Raikage's words was almost amusing. Apparently he had been expecting a rescue from above.

"Roka."

Roka turned to the Lightening Shadow politely. "Yes, Raikage-sama?"

"You haven't told me yet where you put the list of projected kunai and shurikan shipments from Heiwa for this week."

Kisho's face by that point was so ashen it was almost white. Casually observing the waiter's reaction out of the corner of his eye, Roka answered, "I archived it with the rest of expense statements for weaponry for the month, Raikage-sama."

Ichiro nodded. "Very well. Thank you." He turned to leave, but at the door's threshold, he paused. Kisho's eyes almost imperceptibly flickered, but at the Raikage's next words, the waiter's eyes again went dead. "Roka. Come to my office after you're done here. I have some questions about the genjutsu barrier you put in the western woods. It doesn't look to be working properly. I felt it flicker several days ago right before the chakra surge, and I wouldn't want our weaponry stores to be disturbed by whoever is wandering out around there."

Roka tilted his head in assent. "I will, Raikage-sama."

Then Ichiro left, shutting the door behind him. Roka turned back to Kisho. He quickly saw that the waiter would give him no more resistance, if there had been much there to begin with. The man was sagging so much that the ANBU restraining his arms was now more holding him up then holding him down, and his eyes were blank with despair. It wouldn't save that much time; civilians weren't much of a challenge to interrogate anyway, but it might give Roka a few minutes' leeway before reporting to Ichiro. "Kisho-san-"

"He really trusts you, doesn't he."

Roka blinked. He didn't really mind that the ANBU hear this conversation; Risou was one of his anyway, and inclined to silence even if he hadn't been. Still, if he hadn't known the waiter's eventual fate, he might not have answered. It gave away too much. But now it didn't matter. "I suppose."

"He shouldn't. You don't care at all about Cloud."

"Yes." It wasn't a specific reply. It could be interpreted either way. Roka didn't care enough to use exact language. This man, this Tokusaka Kisho, didn't matter.

But he might still know something. "Have you seen the foreigner since you spoke to him in the restaurant, Kisho-san?"

"No." Kisho's voice was flat. It was also hopeless enough that Roka knew he wasn't lying.

And that was it. Roka already knew what the waiter had said to the blond foreigner. He already knew that the waiter had never met the blond foreigner before that one encounter. What he didn't know was what had happened to the blond foreigner afterwards, but since Kisho couldn't tell him that, Roka had nothing else to ask him. Which meant that Kisho was useless.

Only not really. If Kisho had only been useless, then Roka might have let him live. But Kisho was worse than useless; he presented a possible obstacle to Roka's plans. However minor that obstacle might be, it was something Roka couldn't tolerate.

"Kill him." Roka didn't stick around to watch Risou slit the waiter's throat. As the door clicked shut, he could just barely hear Kisho's body hit the floor. The room would be clean in a matter of minutes. Kisho's wife would be alerted that her husband had been put under an irremovable genjutsu by the blond man he had met several days ago that was intended to force him to assassinate the Raikage, and had with a heroic effort resisted the illusion spell for just enough time to alert an ANBU and tell the guard that he would rather die then kill the beloved Lightening Shadow. He would be given a heroes' funeral, a rare thing for a civilian, and his wife would get all the benefits of a widow whose husband had died in war. No mysterious disappearances, no mentions of treason; that would cause even more problems than Kisho potentially would have alive. No, this way was simpler.

Now the only difficulty left was to discover who the blond foreigner had been, and what he intended to do with what Kisho had told him. This thought was comforting. This was something Roka was best equipped to deal with. Despite his skill with his no-dachi, Roka felt most at home in this type of battlefield, where the weapons weren't as easily visible, but just as deadly. And his were far sharper than even Ichiro, who knew him best despite everything, could possibly imagine.

----

Naruto, as a general rule, didn't have many regrets. Or at least he didn't think that much about the ones he did have. Even breaking the Raijin, while it had been a foolish mistake, didn't make him angst much about the should-haves and might-have-beens.

That was the general rule. But there were exceptions. Like now, when he was trudging through a snowstorm, lost beyond all reasonable measure, because it had taken him over a day to sneak past all the Cloud-nin patrols that had shown up to investigate the massive amounts of chakra that had been emitted during Naruto's farce battle with Gin and Yasuo. This was just long enough for a cold front to come in from the mountains and catch him off guard. He hadn't eaten in two days or slept in almost as long, and it was over twelve hours past his rendezvous time with Gaara. Likely the former Sand-nin had already moved on, with their spare clothing and food and maps. Leaving him behind.

Naruto didn't regret much. But he was still cursing himself out for falling asleep in the middle of enemy territory when his only ally within a league had no idea he might need help. Cursing at his hands for having lost feeling hours ago, feeling that wasn't coming back, no matter how much he rubbed them together. Cursing at his lack of goggles which might have made it possible for him to keep his eyes open without the snow blinding him instantly. The clothing he had bought with Gaara weeks before supposedly equipped him for cold weather. But nothing could prepare him for a fury like this.

Another blast of freezing wind nearly knocked him down, and Naruto stayed on his feet with only the greatest of effort, staggering in the frictionless snow. He knew that if he could see, he would be watching his breath frost in the air in front of him. The moisture in his nostrils had been frozen over for hours, despite the two scarves wrapped around the lower half of his face.

Naruto didn't know where he was. His sense of direction wasn't so great to begin with, and now there was nothing with which he could orient himself. And with Gaara gone, Naruto couldn't rely on his sixth sense that had guided him to his partner so frequently in the past. And he was so fucking tired that he would have given his left arm for a bed. Or even a hard rock floor, if it was out of the cold. Incredible stamina was one thing, but there was only so much even an extraordinary shinobi like himself could take. And he still couldn't feel his hands.

In short, he was completely screwed. "Damn it all to hell!" Naruto instantly regretted opening his mouth, as his scarf chose that moment to slip down and he got a mouthful of ice shards biting into the soft tissue of his tongue and cheeks.

As if Fate didn't think he was suffering enough, it then chose to put a particularly slick patch of ice where he next placed his foot, and too quickly for his exhausted mind to register, Naruto found himself flat on his back, sunk deep into the snowdrift where he had fallen. If anyone else had been around, it would have been humiliating. As it was, Naruto couldn't help but think that though it was cold, the snowdrift was surprisingly comfortable and soft. Almost like a bed.

It had been five hours since the storm had began. Five hours of temperatures at least twenty degrees colder than his clothing prepared him for. Five hours of the acute hunger ravaging his stomach being the only thing distracting him from the lack of feeling everywhere else. Five hours of not knowing where he was, and realizing that even if he knew, it wouldn't be a help, because his original destination was no longer there.

There were, in Naruto's experience, three types of hopeless situations. One was where everyone was just underestimating him and the situation actually wasn't that bad at all. He actually hadn't encountered this type since he had joined the Akatsuki, because people didn't underestimate him anymore, but the best example that came to mind was the fight with Kiba during his first (and only) Chuunin Exam. The second was a really, really bad situation that usually required unorthodox tactics and more energy output than a normal shinobi could generate, but Naruto always found a solution anyway, because the normal sort of hopeless situation was his specialty. Fooling Gin and Yasuo back in the forests surrounding Kumogakure fell into this category.

The third hopeless situation was one Naruto only came across once in a blue moon. A situation that actually was hopeless, and would always be hopeless, because neither awesome stamina nor a strange way of looking at things was any help. In such situations, Naruto had learned to either ignore the issue or just stop trying and live with the consequences, because there was no way in hell he could ever win no matter what he did. Like going back in time to fix the Raijin. Or trying to convince Gaara that fried squid wasn't likely to kill him after the last (and first) time the former Sand-nin ate seafood and was sick with food poisoning for fifteen hours. Or now, even though now was a bit of an anomaly, because Naruto had never before encountered hopeless situation type three under conditions where it would kill him. But at this point, with the snow seeming so soft and comfortable, even though intellectually he knew it really wasn't, with the specter of 'you cannot win' coming from his own self-doubt instead of the taunting of other people, Naruto was too exhausted to really care.

His eyes, cracked open only marginally to begin with, drifted shut. A voice at the back of his head that had grown progressively smaller in direct proportion to the duration of the snowstorm clamored something about never giving up, but he ignored it. A somewhat louder voice, one that sounded like a forest blaze gone out of control, (in short, angry and not at all human, but at this point Naruto couldn't help making fire analogies) shouted at him, -What do you think you're doing?-

((Trying to sleep. Fuck off.))

-If you fall asleep, we'll both die. Get up. Now.-

((No.))

-If you don't get up, I'll _make_ you get up. I refuse to let my life be extinguished in such a ridiculous manner.-

((Whatever. Just shut up already.))

Naruto had to give the Kyuubi points for effort. The Nine-Tails really did try his damndest to force his chakra on Naruto to get him to move. Unfortunately (for the Fox, or maybe both of them), lessons on how to control the Kyuubi that Reiko-sama had given him were lessons that Naruto had actually paid attention to, and even as tired as he was, by this point Naruto's safeguards against the Kyuubi were automatic and near impossible for _him_ to remove, much less easy for the demon himself. So Naruto stayed where he was, though the Fox's chakra washed over him with enough intensity to melt the surrounding snow, making Naruto sink deeper into the icy powder in the process.

The Kyuubi's stamina exceeded his by tenfold. But not even the Fox could make him immune to the cold. And to the darkness that edged in so pleasantly on his consciousness, before overtaking him completely.

Not even a demon could fight something as unstoppable as a snowstorm. This was learned a little too late for it to matter.

----

It was fortunate that though Gaara had little experience with cold climates, he could still spot a storm coming from miles off. As soon as he came to terms with the idea of an impending blizzard (it took about two seconds) he left the stone outcropping where Naruto was supposed to have met him five hours earlier and went to look for a convenient cave to take shelter in until the storm passed.

It came about two hours after Gaara first noticed the signs, and about twenty minutes after Gaara discovered his refuge, a hole in the ground that lacked something in amenities but was much better than the alternative. Observing the snow fly past the cave's opening as he sat cross-legged on the cold stone, Gaara came to the conclusion that despite the freezing temperatures that accompanied a snow storm, sand storms were worse. These winds, at least were unlikely to flay the skin off your bones where you stood. He then wondered if Naruto had also noticed the storm in time to find somewhere to weather it out. Somehow he doubted it.

Gaara wasn't bothered by the prospect of having to wait a few days until the blizzard blew over to continue on to Kaizen. It was likely that even if Naruto had been punctual and nothing slowed down their progress (storms, bandits or otherwise), they wouldn't have made it back to Kaizen in time to have Reiko-sama send someone to intercept the information Gin and Yasuo were planning on giving to their Mist-nin accomplice. For one, Gaara didn't know where the meeting was, so in reality nothing could be done about that security leak anyway. For now, what was most important was just getting to Kaizen at all to alert Reiko-sama and the Council to Gin and Yasuo's treachery, so currently Gaara was more inclined to caution than speed.

Not that he hadn't been tempted to carry through on his threat and leave Naruto behind. Gaara loathed unnecessary delays. Maemi-san, his therapist, told him it was because he had developed obsessive compulsive tendencies as a way to cope with Shukaku and any disruptions in his view of the natural order of things subconsciously made him believe he was losing control of the one-tailed tanuki, which was why he reacted so negatively to unexpected surprises. This all made sense, and Gaara was inclined to believe Maemi-san when she explained that his understanding of his psyche would make it easier for him to control his negative reactions, if only because it accounted for why he didn't immediately kill people anymore when they decided to interfere with his plans.

Gaara had been tempted to leave Naruto behind. But he had known what he was getting into two years ago when he had gone through with the blood chakra bond ritual, even if Naruto hadn't. Even if Naruto still didn't know the unspoken rule that pervaded every aspect of the Akatsuki organization, Gaara did. And the rule was this: You didn't leave your partner behind, no matter the circumstances. Even if it cost you the mission, you never left your partner behind, because an Akatsuki without his partner was nothing.

Gaara knew this, which was why a little less than five hours after the storm began, when he felt the faintest flicker of chakra beyond his refuge, he pushed himself to his feet, grabbed his sand gourd from where it lay against the wall, and walked out into the tempest without the slightest bit of hesitation.

In truth, the chakra signature that Gaara had noticed was too dim for it to be identified by normal means, but the abilities the former Sand-nin had at his disposal weren't normal. There was no question in his mind that the dying chakra out in the snow was Naruto. It couldn't be anyone else but him.

He found the body lying less than one hundred yards from the cave's entrance. Even in his brief trek in the storm, Gaara could feel the cold penetrate his limbs. The sand armor protected against the icy shards raining downwards, but it did little to stop the chill. As he pulled Naruto's body out of the snowdrift and threw him over his shoulder, Gaara wondered how his partner had survived hours in such murderous weather. Because Naruto was still alive. Gaara would have known this even if he couldn't feel the former Leaf-nin's chakra weakly respond to his own. Whether the blond shinobi survived the night, however, was another question entirely. But it was one Gaara remained determined to answer on his own terms.


	29. Hitting Comrades Until They Stop Moving

Author's Note: Alright, here it is, after almost four months. Anyone who mentions how long this took gets a meat hook through the eye. The rewrite is about half done, and yes, there are many changes. Like about ten thousand additional words on top of all the sections that are rewritten. I have no idea when I'll finish it. Probably before New Year's Eve and it will be posted with Chapter 30, mostly because Chapter 30 makes no sense without the changes in the rewrite. Yes, I know that is another three month wait. Live with it. After that it will be a hell of a lot faster. Much thanks to my betas, as always. By this point, Grey alone owns about one-fourth of my soul.

When Naruto awoke, he didn't know where he was. At first, he thought he was dead- his last memory was of falling asleep in subzero temperatures, after all- but everything burned too much for him to be anything other than alive. He had opened his eyes once, a few minutes ago, but his pupils weren't focusing properly, and all he saw was a hazy vision of rock which had shadows playing off it, which didn't tell him much.

He was hungry. And thirsty. And he wasn't wearing any clothes, but the blankets that surrounded him, above and below, kept him from being truly cold, though he couldn't prevent a shiver running through him every few minutes. There was also someone at his back, not wearing much more than he was, except this other person had the unfair addition of boxers, and had his arm wrapped around Naruto's chest and his own chest pressing into Naruto's back. This puzzled Naruto for a while- he was fairly sure in the past he had usually preferred girls- before remembering where he was.

There weren't all that many people in Lightning Country who would do anything other than kill him if they knew who he was. Only one, really- and judging by the lack of calluses on the other person's hand, it couldn't be anyone other than Gaara. Which made sense, sort of. Naruto didn't sleep with non-ninja, and the only ninja who didn't have calluses from handling weapons was Gaara, though it felt unreal for Naruto to touch his partner when the former Sand-nin's Sand Armor was down. Gaara was also the only person Naruto knew who was currently in Lightning Country. Which didn't really make any sense at all. Hadn't Gaara ditched him? And why would he sleep with Gaara, anyway? Naruto hadn't even known Gaara knew what sex was. And Naruto certainly didn't remember getting it on… though judging by how much he hurt, he probably hadn't been the one pitching.

God did his head hurt. Maybe they had gotten drunk and that was why Naruto was drawing a blank on what had happened, except they hadn't brought sake along, so that didn't work. Maybe Naruto had just hit his head.

Maybe he should ask.

"Gaara?" His voice came out sounding hoarse, and he had to swallow a few times just to get enough moisture in his mouth for his tongue to work properly.

Gaara didn't shift from his position, though he replied readily enough. "You're finally awake, then."

"Yeah." God, Gaara had gotten good at faking sleep. Naruto hadn't even heard the former Sand-nin's breathing change. "What happened?"

"You fell asleep in the snow not far from the cave I was taking refuge in. I took you back here."

Oh. Huh. Maybe the whole 'I go to where you are unconsciously' partner thing was still working after all. But that didn't answer, "Why am I naked?"

"I had to get you out of your wet clothes before you caught pneumonia."

"And why are you naked?"

"I am wearing boxers."

Naruto sighed. Exactness was a good quality in a shinobi, where the difference between success and failure was usually a couple inches, but it was still annoying. "Fine, why are you wearing nothing but boxers?" The deepening rasp in his own voice as he continued to talk made him wince. His throat felt like it had been scrapped by sandpaper, though it wasn't, come to think of it, any worse than how his hands and face felt.

"In the seminars I was given on surviving cold weather, I was informed that sharing body heat is a good way to help someone who had been exposed to low temperatures. You were too cold when I stripped you to warm the blankets on your own, so I thought it expedient to help it along." He paused. "Your breathing was erratic when I found you."

"Oh." Well, that made sense, even if the whole thing did seem like a scene out of a bad porno movie. Not that Naruto cared. It was only Gaara.

Which left the biggest question. Why had Gaara still been around? The storm hadn't started until hours after their chosen rendezvous, and this cave was relatively close to that. Gaara should have been miles away, in the next town holed up in a hotel.

It didn't make sense. Gaara was sensible, using the shinobi definition of the word. The former Sand-nin didn't do the emotional shit. They were partners, yes, but there wasn't anything emotional about that. They worked together, was as. Really well together, sure, but then, when he and Sasuke had not been having issues, they had worked well together too. So…

Naruto's head was feeling a little too fuzzy for him to really want to give Gaara a decent interrogation. But still he asked. "Gaara…"

Gaara had rolled out of the makeshift bed made out of the blankets they had brought with them on their trip, and was dressing by the fire. It left Naruto's back feeling cold. At the sound of his name, Gaara turned to look at him. The lighting made his green eyes glow orange. Outside, the storm still raged on, but they were far enough from the entrance that no snow or wind reached them, only the sound of it. Gaara didn't say anything. He just looked at Naruto. Naruto, now facing away from the cave wall, looked back.

"Why didn't you leave me behind?"

Gaara didn't pretend not to understand the question, or why it had been asked. Him handing Naruto a canteen of water that tasted off enough that Naruto knew it was melted snow, and a roll of bread with some cheese, wasn't stalling, just him knowing what Naruto needed but had not thought to ask for yet. Eating and drinking with only his head propped up was a little inconvenient, but not an insurmountable problem. Naruto wasn't surprised that Gaara had known he was hungry and a little dehydrated. They had known each other two years (well, four technically, but the first two really didn't count), and Gaara always knew.

For a moment, Gaara stared into the fire, the flames reflecting off the planes of his face. Naruto waited. He was too tired to become impatient, and his hands and feet burned enough to keep him preoccupied.

"We are partners."

Naruto blinked, which was in of itself an accomplishment, since as soon as his eyes closed they had wanted to stay that way. His body ached, and his eyelids were no exception. He wanted to rest. But he couldn't go to sleep just yet.

Stating the obvious wasn't Gaara's habit. Which completely failed to explain why he was doing so now. Of course they were partners. But Gaara didn't state the obvious. Which meant he was trying to say something Naruto hadn't heard before. But Naruto had heard…

It took Naruto a couple seconds to realize he was thinking in circles and getting no where, and he still didn't know what Gaara had meant, so in the end all he could come up with was, "So?"

Gaara looked at him again. He was now wearing only a sleeveless shirt and a pair of pants, no shoes, but he didn't look cold. "You don't know what that means." It wasn't an accusation, coming from Gaara. Merely a statement of fact.

It still made Naruto bristle. "Sure I do. We went through that blood ritual thing which makes it easier for us to work together, and we go on all the same missions." Talking so much in the dry air made his throat feel sandpapery again, so he took another swig from the canteen.

Gaara's face didn't change, but Naruto still got a vibe off of him that wasn't quite disappointment, but something a little worse. "You don't understand anything." He turned back to the fire.

Okay, that kind of pissed him off. Naruto tried to lever himself up onto his elbows, but collapsed halfway. The rush of cold air that hit his chest as the blankets fell didn't do much to persuade him that getting up was a good idea. "What the hell does that mean?"

Gaara was toying with something in his palm. Naruto's eyes were still screwed up enough that it took him a moment to realize it was the cork from his sand gourd, which was currently leaning against the wall. Some sand littered the floor, though most of it pooled around Gaara. "Anyone else I would have left to die without a second thought. But there is too much between us."

Something stirred within Naruto. It felt something like outrage and a lot like the Kyuubi, but Naruto had no desire to deal with his demon when something other than a fight was going on, so he slammed down the lid on that with enough force to make the Nine-Tails growl. But it still left him… not anxious. But his senses were still telling him that there was something in the room that shouldn't be there. "You're acting kind of weird, Gaara. There isn't anything between us, really. I mean, we work really well together, yeah, but it's not like we're close friends or anything-"

"I destroyed my village for you." Gaara blinked, slowly, like a reptile. Like something not human at all. Around him, the sand stirred, reminding Naruto that that was as true as it was not. "And you say we are not friends."

Naruto's mouth dropped slightly open. He couldn't have heard that right. "What?"

Gaara's skin glowed gold in the firelight. The sand began to crawl across his crossed legs, up his back. It looked unreal, like something from an ancient fairytale, the kind where there was always a grisly moral lesson involved instead of a happy ending. "A Sand hunter-nin team tracked Akasuna no Sasori to Kaizen. One of them recognized you. They reported your status to the Council, and the Council told others. Temari and Kankuro weren't informed, but I was being considered for the post of Kazekage, and they didn't keep it from me."

Naruto wasn't stupid. He could see where this story was going, and latching onto the trivial seemed like a good way to forestall the ending. Even if that was inevitable. Even if had already happened. "They were going to make you the Godaime Kazekage?"

Gaara nodded. "It only made sense."

Naruto felt a brief flash of jealousy that his partner had been going to get the job that he had craved for all of his childhood (albeit in a different village) before abruptly remembering why it no longer mattered. "So?"

"The Council thought that giving Leaf Village the position of the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki would throw the treaty talks in Suna's favor. I tried to convince them otherwise."

Naruto shivered in his blankets, and pulled them back up to cover his chest and neck. If it had been found out he was a member of Akatsuki before the truce had come into effect… he wasn't Itachi. He couldn't see an attack coming from a mile away. And that had been before Gaara had come, with his impenetrable defense that so often in the past had protected Naruto as well. He wasn't around Kisame and Itachi enough to count on them to be there. At fourteen, he would have easily been caught unawares by an experiences ANBU or hunter-nin team. There would have been no hesitation on Konoha's part to act against a demon's vessel who had turned on them. He would have been killed. He would have _died_.

Gaara continued in his usual monotone, his voice empty of the gravity anyone else would have given the words, though his eyes widened and narrowed compulsively, slightly bloodshot in a way Naruto hadn't seen in a long time. In another lifetime. "They didn't listen. They would have killed you. One of them could escape. I couldn't wait. I had to protect you."

Oh hell. Oh fucking hell. Gaara had… he'd annihilated his home village, every man, woman, and child, just to make sure Naruto would be safe. He had weighed Naruto's life to be worth more than an entire village. He had come to Kaizen to protect _him_. But… "Why would you do that? Gaara, why would you kill everyone, just for me? You don't owe me anything."

Naruto knew he was babbling, was trying to convince himself just as much as Gaara. That it hadn't been because of him that Gaara had killed thousands. Before it had been easy to blow off thoughts of what Gaara had done, to dismiss it as a mistake, or a momentary loss of control over Shukaku. Now he couldn't do it anymore, knowing that Gaara had killed them all on purpose. And that it was his fault.

"You're wrong." Gaara's hand closed around the cork. As Naruto watched, the cork itself dissolved into sand, and slithered down Gaara's arm, across the floor, only to reform back into its original state, sealing the gourd shut again. "I owe you everything, Naruto. The love of my brother and sister. My humanity." He paused. Though there was no change in his voice, somehow what he said next sounded more important than anything he had said before. But his eyes weren't looking in Naruto's anymore, just staring fixatedly in the fire as if he was looking for his reflection there. "Being able to protect you, and knowing that what you are will not disappear, as long as I am here.

"I did not hesitate to take on the blood chakra bond. Neither did you, but I've always known you didn't really understand what it meant. One day, I hope you will. Until then, I will continue to protect you. That is now what validates my existence. To make sure you continue to exist, no matter the cost. To me, or to you."

No. No no no no no… "You should have let me die." Suddenly Naruto found himself sitting up, his muscles stiff with the cold and protesting every step of the way. He didn't even bother trying to stand, knowing that even if he possessed the strength, he didn't have the balance. So in the end, he crawled his way over to Gaara, and it was still on his knees that he grabbed the front of the former Sand-nin's shirt, ignoring the way the cotton felt grainy under his hands. A sole remaining blanket wrapped around his waist was the only thing keeping him modest, but Naruto wouldn't have cared if there hadn't been anything at all. "You should have-"

"No."

"My life isn't worth thousands, Gaara!"

"It is to me." Gaara's voice was unwavering. Steady. And completely uncaring, as if the words were being read from a script for a play the former Sand-nin wanted no part in.

And suddenly Naruto found himself shaking Gaara, regardless of the sand hissing around them. It wasn't until Gaara's shirt ripped that Naruto realized how much strength he was putting into trying to rattle some sense into the former Sand-nin. It wasn't until he looked at Gaara's hands, so much more slender and less calloused than his own, as the former Sand-nin grabbed Naruto's wrists in an instinctual effort to shake him off, that Naruto realized how much stronger he was than his partner, even taking into consideration the energy the storm had dragged from his body. "You had no right to take their lives. Not for me, not for anyone!"

"I am a shinobi." Gaara's eyes were cold. "If they cannot protect themselves, then it is my right."

Naruto punched him. The way his knuckles scraped across Gaara's cheek made it obvious the Sand Armor was in full effect, but either they were too close for the Sand Shield or the corked gourd made use of it impossible, and Naruto hit far too hard for the Sand Armor to matter.

Gaara's head snapped back, and he didn't put his hands behind him fast enough to catch himself. It was by a margin of inches that he missed landing in the fire. His head cracked on the hard stone, and a trail of blood made its way out of Gaara's mouth and down his chin. The cork still sealed the top of the gourd, and it was with cold certainty that Naruto knew he could beat Gaara bloody, senseless, and that the former Sand-nin would never do a thing.

It was with an effort that Naruto resisted the urge to do so, and instead clenched his hands by his sides, his sharpened nails breaking open the skin. The sudden vertigo of sitting up too quickly chose then to hit, and he swayed on his knees as he watched Gaara try to rise.

"I would never do it for you." Blood came down both of Naruto's hands to drip on the floor. The knuckles of his right hand ached, rubbed raw from contact with the Sand Armor. Naruto ignored both distractions. They didn't matter. Not like this did. "I don't think your life is worth more than anyone else's. If I had to kill a child to save you, I wouldn't do it. I'd let you die, and I'd never regret it.

"If killing you now could bring Sand Village and all the people you murdered back, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But it doesn't work like that, does it."

Gaara by that point had managed to stagger to his hands and knees. He wiped the blood from his face and met Naruto's gaze evenly, though his eyes were slightly unfocused. ((Probably a concussion,)) Naruto thought without sympathy.

"No, it doesn't. But I'd do it again."

Naruto couldn't think of anything to say to that. So he said nothing, instead turning back to the makeshift bed, his head suddenly killing him. His body ached. He was thirsty, again, but that could wait. He didn't bother to consider the ramifications of turning his back on the man who had massacred Sand Village without a second thought, or a single regret. After all, Gaara had done it for him. He was the only person who had nothing to fear.

It didn't bring him much comfort.

----

It took them about four days to get close enough to Sound Village that Sasuke started recognizing the landmarks. A slower pace than usual, but after ignoring Tsunade's advice the first day and within an hour watching Sakon trip and nearly fall on his face (this would have been painful, seeing as the ground was a good thirty feet below), Sasuke realized that perhaps the Godaime Hokage hadn't been overly cautious when she had told them to take it easy.

However, even after they had lessened their stride, that first night, Sakon had not looked well. He had shivered even after Sasuke had lit a fire and both of them were in their sleeping bags. Sasuke could hear his subordinate's teeth chattering for a long time, not tired enough himself to fall asleep in spite of the sound, before Sakon's breathing slowed and the slight Sound-nin finally let his exhaustion overtake him.

Having stretched out his muscles- tight after a week of bed rest- during the first day of travel, Sakon was slightly better the next morning, his movements more fluid and his eyes more alert. Still, even by day four Sakon wasn't in any condition to fight, barely making his way along as it was, which was why Sasuke felt slightly miffed that the older Sound-nin still managed to notice that they were being followed first.

"Sasuke-sama." Sakon's voice was quiet enough that it barely reached Sasuke's ears. "Activate your Sharingan. We're not alone."

Sasuke did as asked, not foolish enough to argue about the chain of command at a time like this. His eyes quickly let him spot the intruders, hidden from normal sight by genjutsu but not concealed from Sakon's extraordinary hearing or Sasuke's bloodline limit. What he saw made his eyes narrow.

Sakon noticed the gesture. "How many?"

"Four."

Sakon nodded thoughtfully. "Standard complement for a team of ANBU or hunter-nin. But from which village? We would have sensed Leaf tracking us days ago, and not many shinobi would venture into Sound Village's territory."

Sasuke realized abruptly that his Sound forehead protector was still in his kunai pouch, and Sakon's was the same, having transferred it there from his hand on the first day. And they were both wearing standard Leaf-nin garb. Looking at Sakon, Sasuke watched as the same thought occurred to his subordinate. Sakon stared at him. Sasuke stared back. He voiced their shared thought. "Crap."

Before either of them had time to grab for their hitai-ate, the ANBU attacked.

There were two things Sasuke knew. Sakon, in as bad a shape as he was, wouldn't be much help in a fight, and though Sasuke was sure he could take on the four ANBU himself under normal circumstances, he couldn't while trying to protect Sakon at the same time. Besides, technically the ANBU were on his side, and it wouldn't do to kill them if the situation could be avoided. Seeing as he couldn't possibly grab his forehead protector and explain the situation to the ANBU in time to avoid someone getting a kunai through their skull, he did the next best thing to make the horrible mistake they had made abundantly clear.

He activated his Curse Seal.

This was done simultaneously with grabbing the first ANBU's hand mid-punch and twisting it behind the man's back. Then he forced the ANBU, face covered with a falcon's mask, to look into his eyes through the slits.

It was then that Sasuke felt his eyes narrow. His vision… he had never been able to see through the chakra-imbedded mask of the ANBU with such clarity before. And it was only getting clearer.

He frowned at his own hesitation, and brushed away the thought. He was probably imagining it. "Stop."

The ANBU froze. That wasn't what Sasuke wanted, so he pulled the ANBU's arm higher, making the assassin jerk from the pain, and hissed, "Tell them to stop or when we get to Sound I will have you all executed for treason."

The ANBU stared at him. Sasuke lost his temper. "_Now_."

It was fortunate, Sasuke thought dryly as the ANBU finally shook himself out of his stupor and issued a sharp command to stand down, that Sakon was an experienced shinobi and had a pain threshold high enough that he could fight regardless of what shape his body was in. The older Sound-nin, despite his injuries, had punched one ANBU in the face with sufficient strength to shatter the man's cat mask on contact and send him sprawling on the ground- the man didn't look to be getting up anytime soon, seeing how he was clutching at his face where the shards of the broken mask had sliced it open- and was currently dodging blows with some success from his second opponent's katana.

Apparently Sasuke had struck gold and grabbed the leader, because the other two active ANBU stopped immediately at the falcon's command, though both of them shifted their stances slightly to orient themselves towards their captain and his captor. Sasuke met each of their gazes, his eyes cold. Their weapons were pointed towards the ground now, not poised for an attack, the tips hovering a few inches above the dirt. Waiting.

Sakon, holding a hand to a shallow cut in his side where the katana wielder had landed a hit, gave him an odd look before turning to watch the two active ANBU. It wasn't a particularly informative odd look, so in the end Sasuke ignored the older Sound-nin in favor of releasing his prisoner and shoving him towards his own subordinates. Sasuke noticed grudgingly that the ANBU captain at least had the presence of mind to catch himself before he stumbled, and it was with some grace that the falcon ANBU turned to face him. The guardedness of the ANBU's voice was also somewhat encouraging. Not the smartest assassin alive, perhaps, but at least he had the good sense to realize he might have made a mistake. "Why do you bear Orochimaru-sama's mark?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but Sakon, apparently having gotten over whatever had surprised him, was shaking his head slightly in Sasuke's direction. So Sasuke waited to see what his subordinate would do. He wasn't disappointed.

"You fool." The sheer disdain in Sakon's voice was unexpected enough to briefly catch Sasuke off-balance. Even when at his most disgusted, Sasuke had never heard the pale-haired Sound-nin talk like that, like the person he was addressing was slime he would gladly wipe off the bottom of his sandals. Of course, Sasuke had never seen Sakon deal with any Sound-nin besides himself, Orochimaru, or another member of the Sound Five before. Obviously an ANBU captain was subordinate to him.

No longer holding his hand to his side- the wound had already stopped bleeding, a testimony to Sakon's strange physiology that Sasuke still didn't really understand- Sakon stalked, for lack of a better way to describe the fluid, dangerous way the older Sound-nin moved, to stand directly in front of the ANBU captain. The ANBU towered over Sakon by at least a head, but Sakon still managed to give the impression he was looking down his nose at the taller man. "Do you have any idea who you just attacked?" Before the ANBU captain could reply, Sakon laughed, a mocking, arrogant sound, and shook his head pityingly. "Of course you don't. Your clearance isn't nearly high enough. But even if you don't know my master, you should at least have brains enough to know me. But then," and now a sneer was definite in Sakon's voice, "Obviously the ANBU's standards have dropped since I was here last."

One of the other ANBU, the one who had wounded Sakon with a katana and masked by a stylized bear, suddenly jerked. Even as Sasuke watched, the man hurriedly sheathed his weapon and kneeled, one hand on the ground in a gesture of submission. His captain turned to look at him. Sakon's eyes barely shifted, but he, too, watched.

The captain spoke first. "What is it?"

The bear ANBU didn't bother to acknowledge the falcon's question, his mask tilted towards the ground. "Sakon-sama. I apologize for our unwarranted attack against you."

The captain turned back. Even with his falcon mask, he still managed to come off as slightly bemused. "Sakon-sama? But he died three years ago."

Sakon rolled his eyes. "That was my brother, you idiot."

The fourth ANBU, masked by a fish and who hadn't done much up until that point, though Sasuke had a feeling he was the one who had put the genjutsu in place, finally spoke. "My lord." Following the bear, he too sheathed his katana and kneeled. "I… Your appearance is greatly changed."

"I've heard near-death experiences can do that." The wry note in Sakon's voice made Sasuke release the tension in his shoulders that up until that point he hadn't realized was there. This was the Sakon he knew, not a stranger whose arrogance Sasuke was uncomfortably aware in some ways mirrored himself.

The captain looked at his two kneeling subordinates- the third was still trying to pry mask shards out of his face- before issuing a deep bow that apparently passed muster, as the flint disappeared from Sakon's eyes. "Sakon-sama, I, too, apologize, on my entire team's behalf. I've never seen you face-to-face, and as you have been absent from the village for several years and the rumors that spawned around your disappearance… but that is no excuse. My team will accept any punishment you see fit for our carelessness. We saw your clothing and jumped to conclusions that we shouldn't have without further investigation."

Sakon let the captain stay like that for several seconds, bowed low and tense with the anticipation of pain, before shrugging dismissively. "No matter. One more injury isn't much in the grand scheme of things. You can redeem yourself by escorting my master and myself to the village outskirts. We've been conducting business in Konoha, and it's been a long time since we've been home."

The two kneeling ANBU rose to his feet, one of them helping his injured comrade up as well. Under the shattered cat mask, the wounded shinobi proved only a year or two older than Sakon, and the blood on his face made him look younger. The captain also moved up from his bow. "Sakon-sama… thank you for your understanding."

Sakon nodded graciously. And they moved on. Only then did Sasuke let the Curse Seal recede back into his neck, and he made a point of finally pulling his Sound hitai-ate out of his kunai pouch and securing it to his forehead. A little belated perhaps, but some things had to be done.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Sakon do the same. Sasuke held back a grin in favor of keeping his expression grimly neutral. Sakon was not one to wear a forehead protector often, and he probably wouldn't appreciate hearing what interesting things the headband did to his hair.

They moved at what Sasuke thought of as a leisurely pace, though only by shinobi standards, continuing on the ground. Sakon resumed his position at Sasuke's shoulder, though he walked a step behind him instead of directly at his side as it had been before the ANBU had arrived. Sasuke briefly frowned at this before remembering he was trying to seem unaffected. He wondered if Sakon didn't trust the ANBU as much as he pretended to, to stand in such a way that he would take any hit that might be directed at Sasuke's back.

The bear ANBU walked ahead of them to scout while the fish ANBU stayed behind them. The injured cat ANBU walked cautiously a few steps behind, a newly applied salve lessening the bleeding. The ANBU captain walked beside Sakon, though only in the loosest sense, as he stood well outside the higher-ranked Sound-nin's reach.

Even without the usual jutsus Sound-nin habitually used to better hearing, Sasuke heard the man's words clearly as he whispered to Sakon, "Sakon-sama… I know it is not my place to question you-"

"You're right. It isn't."

The captain quieted at the edge in Sakon's tone, sketching a quick bow before letting himself fall back another pace. The rest of the walk was made in silence.

Even with their relatively slow pace, it wasn't much more than half an hour later that the forest abruptly stopped, and they stepped out to gaze upon what could only be called… well, construction. The bluff they stood on was just raised enough that Sound Village was clearly visible, even with the walls that surrounded it. It was an interesting sight. Half the buildings looked as if they were being renovated, some lacking walls and others ceilings and all of them having civilian contractors swarming over them, the main tower where Orochimaru and the Sound Five usually operated from was a pile of rubble, and almost one-third of the streets had groves in them as if several very large moles had taken up residence. Sasuke looked at Sakon, but by the bemusement apparent in the older Sound-nin's eyes, he didn't know either. So as one they turned towards the ANBU captain.

It was Sakon, squinting in a way that made Sasuke wonder if his vision hadn't fully recovered yet, who voiced the question, "Is Sound expanding again?"

The captain shook his head. "No, Sakon-sama. Stone invaded us almost two weeks ago. This is just the beginning of our rebuilding effort to repair the damage the Iwa-nin did to our infrastructure." Then he bowed again. "I'm sorry. I'd assumed the damage was the reason for your return, or else I would have told you sooner."

Sasuke frowned. Sakon's eyes flickered towards him at the expression, though Sasuke noted how the older Sound-nin made a point of keeping his attention on the falcon. Straightening into the shinobi equivalent of the 'at-ease' stance, Sakon's tone was again coolly arrogant as he said, "I would expect less assumptions and more decisions based off fact for someone of your rank, captain." The captain's falcon mask shifted as the ANBU again opened his mouth- presumably to yet again apologize- but Sakon's gesture cut him off. "Never mind. Just go back to your patrol. We can find our own way from here."

The captain nodded. "Of course. Since Orochimaru's tower was obliterated during the attack, you will have to look for him in-"

"The secondary administration building. I know. Contingency plans for such an emergency have been in place for years." Then Sakon turned his back to the captain, a clear dismissal. The falcon hesitated only a moment before bowing again and giving a curt gesture to his subordinates. Sasuke didn't have a very high estimation of an ANBU team that attacked as prematurely as this one did, but he had to give them credit for the smooth way they faded back into the cover of the trees.

Sasuke didn't waste time. "The invasion would have taken place before Kimimaro came to Konoha. He knew and he didn't say anything."

Sakon nodded thoughtfully as he crouched on the edge of the bluff, his fingers drumming on his thigh. "Most likely that was on Orochimaru-sama's order. No offense, Sasuke-sama, but you don't have much experience in politics, and I doubt Orochimaru-sama wanted to take the chance of you revealing Sound's current downturn in fortune. The only way Sound as the smaller village will retain an advantage in negotiations with Leaf is if we keep up the illusion that they need our help more than we need theirs."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I suppose that's why you didn't want me dealing with the ANBU team directly."

Sakon smiled. "Of course, Sasuke-sama. I thought it prudent that I do all the talking until I had a spare moment to give you some advice."

Sasuke didn't bother restraining a scowl as he moved to stand beside Sakon, who (as usual) didn't seem to take notice of their close proximity. "Such as?"

"Just a word to the wise. If someone is unable to make you lose your temper, that means they are beneath your notice. If they are, that means they are at least as good as you, and probably better." Sakon smiled again, though this time he looked genuinely amused. "You've probably noticed in your dealings with Orochimaru-sama that he never gets angry."

"Yes." Sasuke had also noticed that it was irritating as hell. More than once he had wanted to punch that smug grin off of the snake sannin's face- oh. "He does that to put others off balance."

Sakon nodded, and jumped down off the raised bluff to the ground below before starting across the eighty yards or so of open field that came between the forest and Sound Village's main gate, most likely to lessen the chances of a sneak attack. Of course, it didn't seem to have worked against the Stone-nin, but then, an ability to hide underground probably had something to do with that.

The gate guards spotted them long before they made it to the gate. Both of the guards had shifted into an attack position, probably in reaction to their Leaf clothing, but soon moved into more relaxed stances as soon as they caught sight of Sasuke and Sakon's hitai-ate. Still, one of them shouted a demand for identification as soon as they were in range, a sensible precaution but at the same time an irritating one, seeing as the only I.D. Sasuke possessed was some fake civilian credentials and his certification as a Leaf-nin, and somehow he doubted Sakon had any at all, after skulking around Konoha's outskirts for so long.

Fortunately, there was an easy way to prove they had a right to be there. Sasuke, while aware that using the Curse Seal so frequently (and for a relatively frivolous reason) wasn't very sensible, did not want to spend several hours arguing about it with the guards, and he certainly couldn't rely upon the low-ranked Sound-nin recognizing Sakon. So he activated it again, let the black marks spread across his skin, and ignored the disapproving look Sakon sent his way. At that, the guards let them pass without further comment, and Sasuke even got some petty satisfaction by the way the guard nearest to him stepped out of his reach as they passed by.

Sakon's odd look made a repeat appearance as they walked through the gates. Quickly becoming sick of this, Sasuke turned to look at him. "What?"

"The Curse Seal affects bloodline limits, you know."

Sasuke blinked. This was… news. "Since when?"

Sakon shrugged. "For you? Since about half an hour ago, I suppose. Your eyes changed color when you used your Sharingan against the ANBU captain."

Sasuke opened his mouth. Then he closed it again. His vision _had _worked better than usual… but that wasn't the memory Sakon's words were making him recall. "What color were they?"

"Gold. Ish. Or something. I was a little distracted at the time. It usually doesn't manifest so obviously, but I suppose it's about time. It's been augmenting my bloodline for years."

Gold. But his eyes never changed to that color when he was using Level One. Except… except when he had been in the hospital, waiting to here about Sakon and whether he would survive the injuries he had received in Sasuke's defense. And Naruto… in the waiting room he had said something, about the color of Sasuke's eyes.

It had been a minor incident, a thought easily dismissed. Sasuke had had much more important things to worry about then. Now…

Sasuke didn't bother informing Sakon that it had happened once before. It was enough that he knew now.

He deactivated his Curse Seal with a roll of his shoulders. "Not as good as the mangekyou."

"Probably."

Sasuke smirked. "Better than nothing, though."

Sakon shrugged again, not looking convinced. "Perhaps. It will probably wear at your chakra reserves more quickly, though. I know I get tired more quickly when I use my bloodline limit and Curse Seal together than I do when I use them separately."

The (informative, if rather belated) conversation no longer distracting him from their surroundings, it was with some surprise that Sasuke noted they were standing only ten paces beyond Sound Village's main gate, barely into the village proper at all. As expected, more than one suspicious glance was being sent at their garb, but a second look at their forehead protectors seemed to reassure most.

Sasuke had been to Sound Village numerous times before, of course, but then he had always ventured through the village streets with an escort, and had rarely left the tower. He had been too busy training most of the time, and too tired from said training to do much exploring during the rare moments when he didn't have something with which to occupy himself. He had never really seen Sound Village. Not really.

Sakon, as he was, didn't provide much of an escort, having not visited Sound Village himself for almost a year. Otogakure wasn't the same as it had been then, even not taking into account the rebuilding efforts from the recent Stone invasion.

Sound Village was much smaller than Konoha. Probably, Sasuke would guess, just a little more than half the size of Leaf, which was still almost half again as large as Otogakure been three years ago during his first visit. A lot more civilians than he'd thought there would be, but then, Sasuke thought wryly, even a village like Sound, which was considered barely legitimate in some circles, couldn't operate with shinobi alone. Many of the civilians were construction workers, hired, Sasuke supposed, just temporarily to help repair the damage wrought the week before, but otherwise…

Sasuke looked around. Just a little further ahead, the street opened up into a plaza, surrounded by stalls. They looked like they had been hastily erected, and seeing how they were further north than Konoha, Sasuke guessed they were seasonal, only intended for the warmer parts of the year. A few shinobi around, but again mostly civilians, looking over the merchandise. A number of them had children.

Some of the rumors that circulated in Konoha about Otogakure came to mind, if only because this scene proved those rumors so utterly wrong.

Sakon watched curiously as a smile spread across Sasuke's face. "What is it, Sasuke-sama?"

Sasuke shook his head. "It's nothing. Just remembering how a number of the younger shinobi back in Leaf called Sound a nest for thieves and murderers, and how completely ignorant they were."

Sakon shrugged. "We have pretty harsh laws to deal with criminals unless they're working for us, so you won't see much crime here."

Sasuke nodded thoughtfully at this as they strolled down the street towards the plaza. "I suppose so. But I do wonder how Sound attracted so many civilians and their families. This is pretty out of the way."

"Low income tax and good secondary schools."

Sasuke stopped in his tracks and stared at his subordinate. "What?"

"Low income tax and- you heard me the first time. Why are you so surprised? Expected us to kidnap the firstborn of every family, did you?"

Sasuke grinned at that. "It does seem more likely."

Sakon smirked. "Believe it or not, Sasuke-sama, Sound these days is pretty appealing to civilians. For some reason we attracted a lot of teachers when we started up, and since Orochimaru-sama has always been big on knowledge he subsidizes public education with the funds gained from shinobi missions and import tariffs. Going to school elsewhere for civilians is pretty expensive, so coming here is actually a smart move to make for non-shinobi with children. The low crime rate and fifteen percent income tax influences childless civilians to come here, too, and you'd be surprised at the variety of people we get."

Sasuke blinked. "You've been living almost exclusively in Konoha for over three years. Why do you know all this?"

Sakon gave him a distinctly incredulous frown, one that, in Sasuke's experience, translated into something like, 'You can't possibly be that ignorant. Dear God, _please_ don't be that ignorant, I loath dealing with idiots.' Roughly. A few more swearwords would probably make for a more accurate translation. "The Sound Five technically may be Orochimaru-sama's personal bodyguards, but after we invaded Leaf four years ago, for the most part that meant we did a lot of paperwork Orochimaru-sama didn't want to do or didn't have the time for. I remember this one time when one of the merchants came in complaining about his thirty year old assistant sleeping with his fifteen year old daughter and Kidoumaru spent three days making up civilian statuary rape laws."

Sasuke felt his eye twitch. "So you're telling me that you used to be a glorified paper pusher."

Sakon looked unbothered by the (unfavorable, to say the least) description. "In between missions, yes. Don't look so disgusted, Sasuke-sama. As Orochimaru-sama's heir, what do you think you're going to be doing with most of your time?"

Sasuke scowled at what his subordinate was implying. "I'd sooner slit my own throat first."

At that, Sakon snickered. "Right."

By then they had made it to the plaza, and as the smell of cooked pork wafted its way to Sasuke's nose, he realized how hungry he was. "Let's get lunch before we go see Orochimaru. The scroll can wait another hour."

Sakon looked as if he was going to contest this, but then his eyes drifted towards the same yakisoba stall that the pork smell was wafting from and abruptly caved in. "Fine."

They sat down in the worn stools, Sakon examining the menu while Sasuke didn't bother to wait and immediately ordered the pork yakisoba. It wasn't polite, he knew, and the murmur at the back of his mind, _Manners, Sasuke_, made something in him twinge, but he ruthlessly stamped it down.

Sakon ignored his lack of propriety- most likely, Sasuke realized, because the older Sound-nin didn't really care when it came to his superior's manners- just setting down the menu calmly a few minutes later and ordering his own lunch. Their food arrived at about the same time, which meant Sasuke couldn't help but notice that Sakon waited before he picked up his chopsticks before touching his own. Damn. Sometimes it felt like Sakon made a point of being polite to contrast his own (in comparison) rude behavior, and Sasuke couldn't help but feel a little irritated.

He examined the plaza more thoroughly as he consumed his meal, enjoying it despite himself, breakfast by that point being a distant memory. The stone used to pave the ground was a darker, shinier color than the stone in Leaf, almost black instead of a light gray. The surrounding buildings tended to be a little smaller, too, most of them one or two stories instead of Konoha's three, four, or five. The people looked about the same, but then, the two villages weren't all that far apart. Perhaps just a little poorer, their clothing and accessories just a little less prosperous. But not unhappy. Not scared or bitter or defeated, despite the battle that had taken place less than a week before and likely destroyed some of their homes and killed some of their friends and family. Not all those terrible things that were whispered about back in Konoha, and Sasuke sometimes hadn't known how to refute.

Something inside of him eased at this. Before, he had only really seen the shinobi of Sound, not the civilians, and the two groups were often so different that one couldn't judge the status of one by the other. But this… he could get used to this.

A child standing a few stalls down, perhaps three or four, too young for either a civilian education or the shinobi academy, glanced his way, sucking on a stick of pocky and smiling hesitantly. Sasuke met the child's gaze evenly, and not seeing any harm in it (a child, after all, was unlikely to see weakness and try to exploit it), smiled back. The child, encouraged by this, gave him a wave. Then the mother noticed.

She looked down at her son, still waving, then to see what her child was staring at. She looked into Sasuke's eyes. Sasuke didn't shift his expression. After a moment, the mother smiled, too, not intimidated despite the hitai-ate on his forehead, and tugged her child away to go to the next stall. It was only then that Sasuke turned back to his lunch and finished off the last of his noodles, the smile still tugging at his lips.

He only then noticed the rhythmic tapping next to him, and turned to see Sakon touching his chopsticks to the edge of his plate while the older Sound-nin looked him over, considering. His good mood temporarily forgotten, Sasuke scowled at his subordinate. "What?"

"See something you like?"

About to take offense at this, Sasuke opened his mouth for a retort, then stopped, realizing that Sakon's question hadn't been asked in scorn. "Yes."

"Good." With a slurp, the pale-haired Sound-nin consumed the last of his own lunch, and placed the chopsticks next to each other on the plate. "I hope you have some money on you, because I don't."

Sasuke snorted, but paid without protest anyway. "You're buying next time."

Sakon dismissed his superior's words with a grin. "Of course, in the event we actually go out together again in the next three years. But we should get going. Chances are Orochimaru-sama's spies reported our presence here over an hour ago, and he doesn't like to be kept waiting."

So they went, exiting the plaza to go along one of the smaller streets that hadn't yet been repaired and still had deep groves down the middle. It looked awful, but Sasuke still found himself running a hand alongside the wall of one of the buildings that lined the street, this one looking to house apartments. This was his. All of it. This was his village, one that, unlike Konoha, he had chosen instead of been born into. That somehow made it more important. Better. And in some indefinable way, more a part of him than Konoha had ever been, even if this was the first time he had ever really seen the village with eyes unclouded by others' perceptions.

----

Just then, Tsunade was hating life with a passion. The negotiations with the Akatsuki were being put off indefinitely, Uchiha Itachi, after being outmaneuvered, refused to talk anymore until his partner had recovered from his injuries, and her councilors were jumping down her throat because of the Sound Village thing (and no matter what they said, she had no obligation to tell them anything, and she wished they'd just shut up about it already).

Worst of all, the jounin lounge had run out of her favorite brand of coffee, even after the massive restocking that had taken place after the week of the invasion when everyone had been run ragged and consumed enough caffeine (each) to kill an elephant. It was times like this she hated war. Why, dear God, did her favorite kind of coffee bean have to be grown inside Lightning Country territory? It made the stuff so bloody expensive because of the trade embargo that it wasn't even worth justifying as a luxury expense, which meant she was stuck with the nasty kind from Tea Country that most jounin just drank because one cup was guaranteed to keep them up for eight hours at a stretch no matter how tired they were.

Sorting through the Uchiha accounts that now belonged to Konoha hadn't put her in such a hot mood either, so it was therefore poor timing on Shikamaru's part when he Shadow Walked into her office that afternoon. It was, after all, only three days (or was it four? It felt like four, considering how much paperwork she had dealt with) after Leaf Village had formally lost any right to proclaiming possession of the Sharingan and received in exchange a bunch of money, two vacationing villas in River Country and one in Sand Village that had been destroyed with the rest of the place (Sasuke had never bothered to dispose of the deed of ownership; big surprise there), a great deal of farming land that had grown over due to neglect, the Uchiha ancestral home that no one would probably buy because everyone thought it was haunted, several hundred wardrobes all stuffed full with clothing emblazoned with the Uchiha family crest, and a hot springs resort in Mist that no one could get to because of the same war that kept Tsunade from getting decent coffee.

Even though Uchiha Sasuke had been a pain in the ass while he was still ostensibly a Leaf-nin, Tsunade still thought Konoha had gotten the raw part of the deal when he had left, if only because most of the crap he had left behind was more trouble than it was worth. She therefore felt perfectly justified in biting off the head of the leader of her personal espionage team when he came into her office without knocking first, or even having the courtesy to enter with a corporal body. Damn the Shadow Walking thing was creepy.

"If you have a problem, I don't want to hear about it. Go bitch to someone else."

Shikamaru blinked slowly at this, in a way that if it had been anyone else, Tsunade would have thought he was having trouble understanding what she had just said. With Shikamaru it was always just the illusion of incomprehension, and wasn't body language worth paying attention to. Afterwards he took a bite of his turkey and cheese sandwich, chewing methodically while Tsunade's fingers twisted around her pen. Then he swallowed. Tsunade felt her pen snap. Shikamaru glanced down at the sound, then shrugged, apparently not caring that his commanding officer had just broke a pen custom-reinforced with steel (a birthday gift from Shizune) in half with no apparent effort. "I want a vacation."

Tsunade looked at the spy suspiciously. Shikamaru had never asked for a vacation before, proclaiming the paperwork required too bothersome to deal with. Meaning he could only be asking because someone else wanted him to. "Temari's putting you up to this, I presume."

Another shrug. "Does it matter?"

It didn't. Either way the answer was obvious. "Not a chance. Far too much is going on right now for me to let you go off somewhere."

Shikamaru took another bite of his sandwich. More chewing ensued. Then more swallowing. "I've never been on a vacation before. I have some paid leave stored up."

"Ask again in half a year after most of this has calmed down."_ Hopefully_ was the silent addendum. In half a year, most everything would have worked out or the opposite, and if everything went to shit, vacations would be the last thing on everyone's mind.

"I can't wait that long. Temari wants to go before Gaara gets back from Lightning Country."

So it had been at his girlfriend's request. Not that Tsunade was at all surprised. "You and Temari both going is even more out of the question. Two jounin are much too valuable a resource to-"

"Kankuro would be coming as well."

Tsunade stared at the spy for a moment. "For someone as intelligent as you are, Shikamaru, you really are terrible at presenting a convincing argument for me letting you go."

Shrug number three then made an appearance. "It isn't like you ever let Temari and Kankuro do anything anyway. And Shino can easily cover for me while I'm gone. His bugs are even more unobtrusive than Shadow Walking is."

Tsunade winced at Shikamaru's first observation. It was completely accurate, of course- any missions above B-rank were too high profile to be trusted to shinobi born outside the village, and everyone knew it- but it was just like Shikamaru to state it so bluntly. And she had to admit he had a point on the latter. Shikamaru's second-in-command was from the same graduating class as the Shadow Walker and was one of the most scarily competent jounin in Konoha, especially for his age. He was no more likely to falter in his duty than Shikamaru was on a daily basis. Just maybe, then…

"How long would you be gone?"

"Two or three weeks."

"I suppose you have a destination in mind, too."

Shikamaru went to take another bite of his sandwich, but at the glare Tsunade sent his way he carefully lowered it back down to his side. "Temari wants to visit the ruins of Sand."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "That's her idea of a vacation?"

Shikamaru looked at her silently, not even bothering with a shrug this time. After a moment, Tsunade sighed and put down the remains of her pen. "Give me a reason." Shikamaru opened his mouth- presumably to offer more of his laconic brand of lip service- before Tsunade waved him silent. "Scratch that. Give me two reasons. One real one and another I can give my councilors so they don't see this as another excuse to yell at me about how irresponsible I am."

Shikamaru frowned for a moment, his forehead creasing in such a way that reminded Tsunade just why the Nara Clan was so prone to premature aging. "Temari thinks that in Sand, she will find out why her brother did what he did. And maybe if there is anything left to be salvaged from the village's remains." It was absentmindedly that he countermanded her implied order to stop eating already and stuffed some more of his sandwich in his mouth. Tsunade let it go, watching the way he continued to frown even as he chewed, the lines between his eyes deepening. More than usual. Something was troubling him. Something else.

Then he swallowed. Again. "She wanted me to come as well because she wanted me to see where she used to live. And I don't mind." He paused. "Finding out why Gaara destroyed Sand Village would be a good indication of how much control the Akatsuki have over him, and whether he can be trusted to remain stable in the future if we have to deal with him further."

And there were her reasons. Tsunade smiled. The expression didn't come out quiet as friendly as she had intended it, but then, she did have quite a bit of paperwork left to do. "Very well. Go, but don't be gone more than two weeks. The other two Akatsuki- one of which _is _Gaara, if you'll remember- will probably get back from Lightning Country sometime after then, and I want you to be around when they do."

Shikamaru shrugged. And that made four. "No problem. It'll probably be boring, anyway. Just a bunch of desert. Not much point in loitering in a village full of dead people."

He closed his eyes in concentration, but opened them as Tsunade said casually, "Just… one more thing. Whatever is bothering you about this trip, I expect a full report on your findings when you return."

After a moment of hesitation, the spy nodded. And then his eyes again slid shut.

Only Shikamaru, Tsunade thought with more than a bit of black humor, could look so nonchalant while his body turned dusky black and faded into the shadow one of her lamps cast over the floor. Some of the sheer inhumanity of the jutsu was dispersed by how he continued to eat his sandwich even as his body became transparent and empty of color, but the overall effect was still unsettling.

Soon, Tsunade was again alone in her office, with only the belongings of the dead laid out before her on a list to keep her occupied. It made almost as poor company as her memories.

Damn. Her inner prose always got ridiculously purple when she hadn't had her morning coffee. Screw the trade embargo, next spare moment she had she was going to send one of her assistants to get some Lightning Country coffee beans. Even if they had to be acquired illegally, she commanded a village full of shinobi who specialized in that sort of thing, and besides that, her assistants were always complaining about paperwork. About time they remembered just why they had taken on administration posts in the first place.


	30. Telling the Truth

Author's Note: Okay, personally? I think this chapter is complete crap. It could be because this is incredibly rough because I didn't show it to my beta, who, if she is still alive, probably has abandoned me in disgust because I've been neglecting her for so long. Expect the polished version to be posted with the rewrite (whenever that gets around to being done). It could be because I've been looking at it so long that I hate the sight of this word document. It could be because, quite frankly, it really is crap. I don't know. I don't have any objectivity to speak of. You'll have to tell me what you think, but hell, it's been so long since you've seen a chapter posted, you probably aren't feeling all that objective either. Still, opinions would be good.

Anyway, the reason I took so long to write this (besides the usual writer's block) is that some of it relies on stuff that only shows up in the rewrite. To alleviate this problem, here is a short list of what is relevant to this chapter: (1) Kabuto is the Sound ambassador to the Akatsuki, not an Akatsuki member himself, and (2) Kidoumaru was the one who spent the most time being on suicide watch for Sakon immediately following Ukon's death.

Something that I should probably make note of is the fact that each village group is operating in a different time frame. The Sound scenes take place thirteen days after Chapter 1, the Leaf scene takes place fifteen days after, the Sand (plus Shikamaru) scene takes place seventeen days after, and the Kaizen scenes are a full forty-six days after. I've actually made a (personal) timeline of it, so it won't get confused, even if it is a little confusing. I tend to post the scenes in the order I write them, which means that a lot of it technically isn't even chronological.

I actually wrote an alternate version of the 'Naruto and Gaara return to Kaizen' scene, featuring Kakuzu and Hidan instead of Sen and Michio, but for storyline reasons it didn't work, so I had to scrape it. However, if you do want to read it, I've posted it on my LiveJournal. Personally, I think it's actually better than the scene I wrote to replace it, but that might just be me being cranky about having to toss out 1,900 words of decent prose.

Yes, Michio is supposed to have an accent, even if it's a poorly written one on my part. He is sort of the Stone-nin version of a hick (though from a different part of Earth Country than Deidara), but like hell I was going to use the 4Kids version of indicating rural origins by giving him American South mannerisms. Also, you get exactly no points if you figure out who I'm trying to hint Gin is related to. Trust me, the way I'm messing with characters' family trees, you're going to hate me by the time this story is done.

Also, I did mean to end the chapter where I did. You aren't missing anything. You'll have to wait on where exactly that conversation goes.

------------------------------------------

"Ya know, I'm still waiting for ya to tell me what we're doing out here at such an ungodly hour."

Sen blinked his wide, amber eyes at his partner. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Michio snorted and swiped the thermos from Sen's lap. "Please. Ya drag me out of bed for what I had thought might be a good reason, and instead ya take me to a fucking teashop and order some black tea to go, then ya head off to the local Shinto shrine without even an explanation, so give it up."

"It's three in the afternoon."

"Exactly!"

Sen tilted his head to the side, considering. Then he held out a hand. "Give me back my thermos, please."

Michio snorted. "Not a chance. I'm holding it hostage until ya tell me what's going on, twig."

Sen frowned. Michio half expected his younger partner to kick at the bo staff Michio was using as support to remain upright, but the former Grass-nin apparently had come to the decision that such a move would not only be beneath his dignity, but also would probably spill his tea.

They weren't actually at the Shinto shrine proper, just on the steps leading up to it. It was a nice enough location, Michio had to admit, having Satori Mountain at their back and the view of Kaizen and the surrounding countryside spread out before them. The priests didn't seem to mind them much either, though that was probably a reflection on the shrine's proximity to Kaizen, seeing as there was even a small sign at the entrance that put the shrine under the Akatsuki's protection. Yeah, it was nice enough. It just wasn't where Michio usually spent the rare occasions he was in the area. Of course, that being said, Michio usually spent all his time off sleeping or in bars, so that wasn't saying much.

Michio waited a moment for Sen to reply before he started toying with the thermos. "Come on, twig. I have better things to do than hang out with priests all day."

"I spoke with Uncle yesterday."

At that, Michio couldn't help but perk up. "Really? Did ya ask him about getting us that job with the beach resort owner in Tea Country who wants someone to make the local yakuza back off? It would be nice to spend autumn somewhere where it's not always raining for once." That was, as far as Michio could see, one of the few benefits of having been beaten out by Naruto and Gaara for elite last year. Elite didn't have the option of drawing lots for the cushy assignments.

Sen shook his head, his eyes disapproving. "You know Uncle finds it difficult enough to help me with personal matters. He would never skew things unfairly when missions are being doled out. I just asked him if he thought something strange was going on."

Michio leaned more heavily on his bo staff as he peered closely at his partner. "Strange how?"

"I don't know."

Michio narrowed his eyes. "That's it. Ya not getting back your tea if ya going to play vague precog. Ya don't have ya uncle's excuse of being head screwed, and ya eyes ain't near dull and creepy enough to pull it off. Give me some fucking details, twig."

Sen threw his hands up in the air. "I told you, I don't know. I've just been getting these weird feelings lately, and I went to Uncle to ask—what's that?"

Michio looked to where Sen was pointing. "What's what?"

It was then that Sen kicked the bo staff. As Michio stumbled, his arms flailing in the process, Sen neatly reached out and snatched the thermos of black tea out of the air before even a drop spilled onto the ground.

((This is gonna hurt like a bitch,)) Michio thought grimly, but for all of Sen's tea obsession he wasn't quite willing to kill for it, so was nice enough to grab the back of Michio's shirt, arresting his tumble down the flight of stairs long enough that Michio was able to regain his balance.

For a moment, all Michio did was breathe and try to get himself to calm down. Fuck, if he had broken something and had to go see a medic no one would have ever let him live it down. What kind of shinobi nearly falls down stairs, anyway?

((One with a partner made of sugar-coated evil, that's who.))

Michio turned and glared at his partner, who was now serenely sipping at his tea. "Ya a fucker sometimes, ya know that?"

But Sen wasn't even looking at him anymore. "I don't believe it."

Michio snorted. "I don't have anything else of ya's, so don't be pulling that shit again, twig."

Sen ignored him, pushing himself to his feet and starting down the stairs. After a moment, during which Michio ensured Sen wasn't within range to hit him, he finally followed Sen's gaze. Then he squinted, just to make sure that there were in fact two people coming up the eastern road towards Kaizen.

Akatsuki, the both of them. One red-head, one blond. Michio grinned and followed Sen, picking up his bo staff at the bottom of the landing where it had fallen as he half walked, half ran towards the coming shinobi. Not too many partnerships had a hair combo like that. "Yo! Naruto!"

Even from this distance, Michio could see the blond start. Michio's grin widened and he slung his bo staff over one shoulder, slowing to a walk as he drew even with Sen. When he glanced sideways at his partner, however, Michio felt his exuberance leak out of him. Sen wasn't smiling. Sen, in fact, looked more grim than Michio had seen him in ages. "What is it?"

Sen bit his lower lip in the way he always did when he was about to say something he knew Michio wouldn't like. "Something happened between them. Look how Naruto-kun's standing."

Michio looked. What was left of his grin faded into a frown. "They're walking further apart than usual. So?"

Sen shook his head. "It isn't both of them. Naruto-kun's standing away from Gaara-kun, not the other way around. See how Naruto-kun keeps listing to the side?"

Michio didn't in fact see it, but then, his talent had never been at reading people. "Maybe, but I'm more interested in what they're doing coming up the eastern road instead of the southern one. Weren't they in Konoha with Uchiha and Hoshigaki?"

Before Sen could answer, Naruto and Gaara were there. Gaara looked about the same as usual, even if his pupils were strangely dilated, but Naruto had rings under his eyes that rivaled his partner's, was grimy enough that Michio could swear the elite's hair was a darker shade of yellow, and his usually easy grin looked like it was being held on his face through sheer force of will. "Hey, Michio, Sen. What's up?"

Michio shrugged. "Not much. Hanging around while we wait for our next assignment and all that. I'm more interested in what the two of ya are doing here. Weren't ya making nice with Leaf or something?"

Naruto nodded. "Still are. We've been on a goodwill mission type thing for the past six weeks to keep them happy. Found out something interesting that we have to tell Reiko-sama, though. Important, top-secret shit. You know where she is?"

Michio thought about it. "Well, there's supposed to be a Council meeting tonight. She's probably in the main conference room charting it out."

"Thanks."

Naruto turned to go, but Michio grabbed him by the sleeve of his coat. "After ya done, meet me outside ya apartment, alright? We haven't done a night out in months, and ya look like ya need it."

Naruto, wonder of wonders, looked for a moment like he was going to refuse, but then his shoulders relaxed. "You paying?"

Michio shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

Off to the side, Michio heard the tail-end of Sen and Gaara's low conversation, "… new takeout restaurant. They have this tempura I'm sure you'll like, Gaara-kun."

"Fine."

Michio and Sen watched the other Akatsuki pair go. As soon as they were out of hearing range, Michio gave his partner a look. "What the hell was that about? Naruto was about as animated as Gaara usually is, and Gaara was about as animated as a rock. Never seen a mission that could take it out of the two of them like that before."

Sen nodded, his face twisted in worry. "I know. Tonight, you will have to do what you can with Naruto-kun. I'll check and see if Maemi-san will allow me to make a last-minute appointment for Gaara-kun after dinner. It isn't right, I think, for an Akatsuki partnership to act like that."

Michio frowned. "How are they acting? Besides weird, I mean."

"Like they hate each other."

Michio felt his shoulders slump. "Well, damn. I was afraid of that."

----

No one was waiting to meet Sasuke and Sakon at the main entrance to Sound's temporary headquarters. The only shinobi near the entrance at all, in fact, was a young man about a year older than Sasuke, sitting on the ground to the left of the doors while he braced a sword that looked to be as big as himself between his knees, rubbing at the blade vigorously with a cleaning cloth in hand. He was dressed in a modified version of what Sasuke remembered to be the typical Sound-nin uniform, a pair of the standard camo pants matched with a sleeveless loose purple turtleneck, though there wasn't any evidence of a forehead protector. Next to him on the ground was, of all things, a half-empty water bottle.

The nin didn't even bother to look up as Sasuke and Sakon approached. Sasuke felt a frown twist his features, a frown that deepened involuntarily as he squinted at the zanbatou. The weapon seemed oddly familiar.

"Suigetsu." Sakon's voice was the sort of neutral he always forced it into when he was talking to someone he didn't like. "Odd place to take up weapon maintenance."

Suigetsu, as Sakon had called him, grinned, flashing filed teeth that rang even more alarm bells within Sasuke's head. "Good to see you too, Sakon." Sasuke resisted the urge to narrow his eyes at the lack of an honorific. The only people Sasuke had seen address Sakon so informally were other members of the Sound Five, Orochimaru, and himself. This Suigetsu was none of the above.

Sakon apparently didn't appreciate Suigetsu's casualness, either, for all his face didn't so much as twitch. "What is the situation here?"

With a fluid stretch that actually managed to look natural, Suigetsu—after strapping the water bottle to his belt—pushed himself to his feet, shoved the cleaning cloth in a pocket and slung the oversized sword over his right shoulder without any visible effort. Then he grinned again as he turned his gaze to Sasuke, brushing his hair—a shade paler than Sakon's—behind his ear. "You must be the infamous Sasuke-sama." He gave Sasuke a slow once-over that Sasuke bore with little more than a slight frown. Then Suigetsu turned away with a dismissive curl of his lip and smirked at Sakon. "Can't say he looks like much. You sure this is the guy who Orochimaru-sama wants so bad?"

"I can't say I care much for a grave-robber's opinion."

For the first time, Suigetsu's eyes flashed with something other than amusement as his stare snapped back to Sasuke. "What was that?"

Sasuke flawlessly matched Suigetsu's earlier smirk. "I said, that sword belongs to a dead man. And you stole it. Now answer Sakon's question."

Suigetsu's face momentarily contorted at the order before he forced his mouth into a bland smile. "Sound will recover. That's what it is good for. But you might not want to keep Orochimaru-sama waiting much longer. If you piss him off, he might actually make a _worthy_ shinobi his heir."

After Suigetsu left, sheathing Momochi Zabuza's zanbatou as he walked away into the straps on his back with a practiced gesture that told Sasuke he'd taken the sword from the former Mist-nin's grave some time ago, Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Sakon. "What was that about?"

"Kimimaro supporter. Suigetsu's a member of his private strike team." Sakon shook his head. "Not worth worrying about. Suigetsu's mostly bark. But he's right in that we should get going. Stopping for lunch was a mistake."

Sasuke shrugged, "Maybe."

He reached for the handle of one of the entrance's doors. Before he had managed to push it open more than an inch, however, Sakon's hand displaced his on the handle and pulled the door shut with an audible _thud_. He looked very much like he wanted to grab Sasuke's vest and shake him, but even in Konoha he wouldn't have dared it. Here, there were too many eyes, too many ears. Sakon kept his voice quiet. "Not maybe. I didn't think anyone would care so soon after your arrival, but if Suigetsu's taken note of it… you cannot afford to play power games with Orochimaru-sama, no matter how subtle and non-confrontational. He is your only support within Sound, Sasuke-sama. If you were to fall out of favor, even if only for an hour, there is nothing to stop those who want someone else to take your place."

Sasuke similarly lowered his voice. "I thought you said Suigetsu wasn't a threat."

"I don't think he is. Less than his teammates, anyway. But…" Sakon exhaled sharply through his nose. "I don't… know a hell of a lot about Sound anymore. The situation has changed." For a moment, he looked disquieted by the thought. Then he turned and roughly twisted the door handle, shoving on the hard wood with enough force to make it bounce off the inner wall as he stalked down the hall.

Sasuke wanted to say something. Something sarcastic, and irritated. Something to make Sakon flinch. But he was rapidly becoming aware how little idea he had of what, exactly, he was doing here, so far away from the place that he had his entire life called home.

----

Sasuke was beginning to think that Orochimaru would never live up to the initial impression Sasuke had received of the sannin all those years ago in the Forest of Death. While it was unrealistic to expect the leader of Sound to greet him with an unbelievable burst of chakra and killing intent every time Sasuke saw him after an extended hiatus, Sasuke did hope this wasn't how Orochimaru met with people who weren't his usual subordinates. The stacks of paperwork littering the snake sannin's desk, the chuunin standing by with folders right outside the office, the harried look on Orochimaru's face, all reminded Sasuke with an almost eerie sense of déjà vu of the last time he had entered the Godaime Hokage's office for a mission briefing. Not exactly a sight to inspire fear and worship, especially considering the large black stain on the right sleeve of the Sound leader's extremely formal (if somewhat drooping) kimono where it looked like it had trailed in the inkwell.

Still, Orochimaru did manage to look blandly amused when one of his chuunin assistants announced Sasuke and Sakon's arrival. "Ah, Sasuke-kun, Sakon. Nice of you to pay me a visit."

Sakon bowed. Unwilling to show the same level of deference as his own subordinate, Sasuke settled on a deep nod before he pulled the scroll off his belt and placed it on Orochimaru's desk. "Here is the Godaime Hokage's reply to your earlier missive."

Orochimaru barely glanced at it—much less open it—before returning his attention to the report already in front of him. "She was favorable to the idea of a treaty, then?"

Sasuke nodded, unsure of how to react to the show of seeming disinterest. A dark smile crossed Orochimaru's lips before he signed the report and held it out for the chuunin on his left to take. "Good. Would have been a pity to let myself forgive and forget so easily only to be rejected out of hand." The snake sannin then laced his fingers together and, finally, moved his gaze from the desktop. It settled first on Sakon. "Sakon, you have completed admirably your duty to protect Uchiha Sasuke during his stay in Konohagakure. As Sasuke-kun has now permanently relocated to Sound, he is unlikely to face threats he himself is not able to handle. Your services as a bodyguard are no longer required."

Orochimaru's eyes lingered on the scar marring Sakon's face. "You will be reassigned after you are approved to be fit for duty by Kabuto. He is currently serving a shift at our temporary hospital. Uta will show you the way." Then he made a dismissive gesture, at which Sakon bowed, his face impassive, before following the aforementioned kunoichi out of the room.

Sasuke was unable to mirror Sakon's indifference. He was all too aware of the stiffening of his spine, the tightening of his eyes, his right hand spasming in and out of a fist. He hadn't- he hadn't thought-

It just… it was foolish, naïve, and short-sighted, but it had never occurred to him that Sakon would ever move from where he had been the past three years. That his sub- that the other Sound-nin would take reassignment so easily, without even a token protest. Without giving Sasuke even a glance as he walked away.

_Sakon's eyes opened, covered with the grime of his own charred skin, the pupils unfocused and unseeing. "Because... little Sasuke, someone needs to look after you."_

((Guess he changed his mind about that.)) Somehow, the thought didn't make Sasuke feel any better.

Orochimaru's voice, laced with amusement, cut through Sasuke's thoughts. "Something wrong, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke schooled his features as best he could—not as well as Sakon, nor Kimimaro, nor any of the high-ranking Sound-nin he had met so far, but he would learn—into calm, disinterested, and (hopefully) uncaring lines. "No. Nothing."

----

Kabuto was occupied with another patient when Sakon entered the clinic side-room where the genin working at the front desk had directed him. Said patient, currently shirtless and bent over with two of his hands braced on his knees so the medic-nin could take a closer look at his back, gave Sakon one look and scowled. "Well, you win."

Sakon seated himself in one of the chairs by the door after giving Kabuto a perfunctory nod. The older Sound-nin returned it distractedly as he ran his hands over Kidoumaru's back. Sakon wasn't exactly sure what Kabuto was doing in Sound, but then, maybe it was that time of year again. Wasn't like he kept track of the medic-nin's time off his ambassadorial duties.

He wasn't sure what Kidoumaru had done to get two of his arms in slings, either. Out of all of the Sound Five, Kidoumaru was one of the least prone to injuries. The attempted invasion by Stone must have been even more of a bitch than he'd assumed. "What did I win?"

Kidoumaru shrugged. "Well, I was going to make you buy me dinner, so how does sushi sound?"

Sakon rolled his eyes at Kidoumaru's deliberate obtuseness, but a grin still tugged at the corners of his mouth. God, sometimes he'd forgotten how much he'd missed because of his duties in Konoha. "I meant the contest, not the reward."

"Well, I figured considering how much trouble I'd gone to when taking care of you when you got fucked up last time, you could- ow! Ow, damn it, Kabuto, can't you use anti-bacterial soap or something? Why do you always have to use the acid stuff on me?"

"Because," Kabuto said distantly, dabbing the antiseptic on Kidoumaru's back, "This ensures there isn't an infection. You wouldn't want to land yourself in the hospital again, would you Kidoumaru-kun?" Then the medic-nin smiled, an expression that might have looked sincere if anyone in the room didn't know Kabuto was an unrepentant sadist.

"Geez," Kidoumaru muttered, "I'm really beginning to think you didn't pawn this job off on an intern because you like to see me squirm."

"Mm," Kabuto agreed, and dunked the cotton pad back into the antiseptic bottle.

Kidoumaru sighed and turned his attention back to Sakon. "Anyway, I wanted a free dinner. Not that the restaurant district wasn't totaled, but even an IOU would have been nice. But no, you had to walk in here and look even more like shit than me, so that doesn't work. What happened to you?"

"Stabbed. Electrocuted." Sakon shrugged as he craned his head to get a good look at his comrade's back. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of the damage. "Don't know what you're talking about though. Your injuries beat mine out. What, did someone have a go at you with sandpaper while you were tied facedown to a table?"

Kidoumaru winced. "No. But there was a wall and gravel involved." Then he grinned, though that might have been because Kabuto was finally done and was screwing the top back on the bottle of antiseptic. "Don't sell yourself short, though. You look like hell warmed over. Also like you got a good doctor quick-like. That scar looks months old." He squinted and tilted his head to the side. "Well, I guess it could be. Damn, been a while since we've seen each other, hasn't it? You did get that from when the Leaf was invaded about the same time we were, right?"

"Yes, unfortunately."

"Sakon-kun." That was Kabuto. "Take off the flak jacket and shirt, please."

"Hey!" Kidoumaru protested, hopping off the examination table. "What about my bandages?"

"We're going to let your back get some air to accelerate the healing process," Kabuto blithely replied. "You can leave now, if you wish." There was a hint there. Kidoumaru ignored it.

"Naw, I want to here about Sakon's adventures in cloak and dagger. So," and Kidoumaru collapsed into Sakon's vacated seat as he pulled his sleeveless tee over his head, maneuvering carefully to avoid contact with his broken arms, "Who took you out?"

Sakon tossed his clothing on the chair next to Kidoumaru before letting Kabuto press the stethoscope (ice-cold; Kabuto never had been much concerned with his patients' comfort) to his chest. "Some higher-up Cloud-nin. An ANBU captain, I think."

Kidoumaru smirked. "Okay, now I win. Got my ass kicked by the Tsuchikage himself."

Sakon blinked once, slowly. "That is one of the stupidest things to be proud of I've ever heard. What led you to take _him _on?"

At that, Kidoumaru, of all things, blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, well, it's kind of a funny story-"

"The dumbfuck," Tayuya pronounced clearly from her position in the doorway, "Was trying to protect my honor."

"The doctor," Kabuto said, equally clearly, "Wants everyone to know that this isn't a conference room, and that everyone who isn't scheduled for an examination right this moment should go away." Then he pressed his glasses up further on his nose as if to illustrate his point.

Kidoumaru crossed his arms. "Why?"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality."

Kidoumaru snorted. "Oh come on, I helped you write the fill-out forms for this place. We don't have doctor-patient-"

"If you don't leave now I'll re-break your arms on your next check-up." This was said in Kabuto's customary pleasant tones. Which, as usual, meant exactly nothing.

Kidoumaru left. Tayuya met the stare Kabuto directed at her next with a sneer. "You are going to threaten me, how?"

"I'm inventive. I'll come up with something later. Just please _leave_, Tayuya-kun."

Which she did, but not before Sakon shared a look with her that hopefully communicated, "You have got to tell me that story after I get out of here."

Kabuto, for his part, removed his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose. "And the civilians wonder why we have so many misdemeanor laws regarding improper social behavior. I would comment sarcastically that you all must have been raised by wolves or whores, except most of you actually were." Then he smiled brightly, cleaning his lenses on his shirt as he did so. "As I was about to say earlier, Sakon-kun, you have a bit of a heart murmur that didn't show up during your last exam, but if you were electrocuted like you said, than you should be thankful if that turns out to be the only lasting damage. As for the scar tissue here, I think it could be lessened with a liberal…"

----

"You know, I've done nothing to deserve this."

"You don't have to be here," Sakon pointed out as he lay down on what had once been a pillar (and now made for a decent bench) with his hands behind his head. The check-up had gone well enough, if one ignored the fact that Kabuto had nearly thrown a fit when he found out Sakon had run out of vitamin supplements three months ago and had not bothered to send for more. The medic-nin was kind of odd like that.

Sakon wasn't particularly looking forward to going back on the drug program (drying out last time had been rather reminiscent of a five-day long hangover), but it was kind of an expected thing in Sound if you were ranked higher than a genin. As small as the village was, a medic-nin of Kabuto's caliber that knew how to chemically improve one's physique and chakra output was a valuable resource not to be wasted. Besides, it was worth the hassle just to be home and able to go back on duty, even if Kabuto had warned him that he probably wouldn't be allowed out of the village to go on missions for a few weeks until he was back in top condition.

Kidoumaru, seated on the other end of the fallen pillar looking disgruntled, flicked his fingers as if he was thinking of yanking Sakon off his perch by his foot but was too lazy to bother. "Not a chance. If I'm not here, Tayuya will blow everything out of proportion."

Tayuya, leaning against the wall of a former bakery (and was now definitely not; sequestering themselves in one of the parts of town that hadn't yet been rebuilt so they could chat may have made for privacy, but not much in the way of decent furniture), scowled and crossed her arms more tightly across her chest. "Says you, freak. Anyway, before four-eyes kicked us out, I was about to enlighten you about Kidoumaru's fling with chauvinism. Here we were after getting fucked up trying to escape the sinking of half our damned forest, no chakra to speak of and captured by a bunch of Stone shits. I piss off the Tsuchikage—who was even more of a fatass than Jiroubou—he belts me one, and Kidoumaru absolutely loses it. You'd think they'd trashed his collection of textiles by the way he acted-"

"They _did _trash my collection of textiles. They were destroyed with the rest of the Tower. It took me years to get a hold of some of those, too-"

Tayuya looked like she was considering if it was worth the effort to kick Kidoumaru in the ribs, but in the end refrained. "Totally not the point, freak. Anyway, he loses it and punches the Tsuchikage in the face. Gets in one, maybe two hits before Lord Chunky wastes him. Slams him into the wall, which was what broke the freak's arms, then tosses him like he weighed as much as an extremely kickable puppy, which was what messed up his back. Would've been fucking hilarious if I wasn't so pissed. The fat bastard didn't even hit me very hard."

"I wondered why I didn't hear hysterical laughter at my expense. It was so unlike you."

"Damn right."

"Sounds like something I am very glad I wasn't there for," Sakon said, smirking at his comrade's bickering. Apparently the status quo—between Kidoumaru and Tayuya at least—hadn't changed much in his absence.

However, said bickering abruptly stopped as both Kidoumaru and Tayuya turned their attention to him, identical malicious grins making him shift into a position where it would be easier to dodge. "What?"

Kidoumaru reached over and unceremoniously flicked him on the ear. "An ANBU captain? Really? Come on Sakon, we're not stupid. Unless you were totally having an off day, no ANBU could take you down. What, were there like ten others and you just didn't mention them before?"

Without getting up, Sakon kicked Kidoumaru in the ribs. While the spider-nin wheezed and rubbed his side, Sakon maneuvered himself into a sitting position before shaking his head. "No, just the one. And he was an ANBU captain, or at least something like it. He had the tattoo and said that the Cloud black ops Sasuke-sama had been killing all day were his subordinates."

Kidoumaru, still massaging his newest injury, inexplicably glanced at Tayuya. Tayuya glanced back, eyebrows raised nearly to her hairline. Sakon frowned. He wasn't used to not being able to read his old teammates' expressions. "What?"

"And so Sir Stick-Up-His-Ass finally makes an appearance in your little story. I was wondering when the little fuck was going to show up." Tayuya sounded disgusted, her customary scowl deeper than usual, darkening her eyes.

Kidoumaru, on the other hand, looked faintly amused, if one ignored the way his upper lip was twitching. "So this ANBU guy was after Sasuke-sama. It was doing your 'duty' that got you messed up, am I right? Doing the heroic sacrifice thing and all that? I've gotta say, it's not as classic as the last time you tried to do yourself in, but I'll give you points for flair."

Sakon tensed up. "It _wasn't _suicide."

"Sorry to tell you this, Sakon, but some random Cloud-nin being involved just downgrades it to assisted suicide. It's not a plain old kill unless you're trying to get out of the way." Kidoumaru grinned faintly, though his eyes were hard. "In case you're thinking of making another attempt, keep in mind that I've already heard through the grapevine that Orochimaru-sama decided you didn't need to baby-sit anymore, so that excuse has run its course. If you try that shit again-"

"_It wasn't suicide, damn it_!"

Kidoumaru started, bumping one of his broken arms against the nearest wall as he jumped, making him pale and swear under his breath. Tayuya's expression actually relaxed enough that she looked startled. Sakon noted faintly that the fist he had slammed into the pillar—making the stone splinter out in a spiderweb-like pattern under his hand—was throbbing, blood running down to the ground from where his knuckles had made contact with the marble. It didn't hurt enough that it mattered, compared to the infuriating fact that his teammates thought he hadn't changed in the _three years_ since Ukon had died.

"I wasn't- I didn't _want _to die. I just… I didn't want Sasuke to, either. He's a fucking moron sometimes, which was what partly got him into that situation to begin with, but-" ((but I'm the one who's supposed to protect him.))

Kidoumaru and Tayuya shared another look. Kidoumaru looked faintly alarmed. Tayuya just rolled her eyes. "Oh my God. You fucking fairy, you got attached, didn't you? Never thought I'd see the day when _you _of all people gave a shit about anyone, much less Orochimaru-sama's pet Uchiha."

Kidoumaru sighed wearily and closed his eyes. "I sort of saw this coming. Orochimaru-sama sending you out only two months after all that crap went down, I thought you might latch onto Sasuke-sama as the only person you had regular contact with. I'd just assumed it would have worn off once you got sick of his sulking and all-around holier-than-thou attitude."

Sakon snorted, surreptitiously flexing his right hand as the adrenaline began to wear off. "You'd think so, but being around you people for so long has given me a tolerance for the obnoxious." He didn't think so much about what the two of them had said. It wasn't untrue—both what had been said about him and about Sasuke—but neither did it really matter, so he changed the subject. "Are you ever going to get around to telling me why Jiroubou hasn't shown up yet? I think I would have heard by now if he was dead."

Tayuya's sneer made it obvious that she wasn't in the least fooled by the evasion, but she answered anyway. "No, but the fatass probably wishes he was. Orochimaru-sama placed him in charge of shoring up the patrols on the western border to make sure Stone doesn't catch us bare ass to the wind again. Living off field rations and sleeping on the ground for two weeks. Bet he's crying himself to sleep every night, the fucking pansy."

Sakon grinned in what he was aware was a slightly challenging way. Cutting down Jiroubou, whether the large nin was there or not, had long been a habit of Tayuya's, albeit one no one paid much mind to anymore. "You've gone soft, Tayuya. You didn't even throw in a comment about his questionable ancestry there."

Tayuya made a gesture that once might have led to a fight, but it lacked the vitriol it would have just a few years ago and Sakon couldn't bring himself to see the point of posturing when they were only still on the same team in name. Wasn't like he had to wear himself out proving he was still capable of kicking her ass, especially considering that at the moment, he wasn't sure he could.

In a way, it was a little depressing. The separation, that is, not the fact that he wasn't in near as good a shape as he was making himself out to be. They were the most powerful shinobi cell in Sound—even if one discounted Kimimaro in favor of placing him with the little group the Kaguya had formulated sometime in the past few years—and yet Kidoumaru was mostly stuck doing paperwork and other duties that had almost nothing to do with being a shinobi while Jiroubou went where someone of his abilities was needed when he wasn't playing substitute at the academy. Tayuya, by some strange twist, actually had several apprentices, even if she spent most of her time ignoring them, and Sakon of course until recently hadn't even been on assignment in Rice Field.

Now he was back, and his mission—along with the reprieve from reality Orochimaru-sama had given him by sending him away—was over. Now he would move on with his life, like the rest of the Sound Five had years ago. Sakon's fingers curled, making the knuckles of his right hand throb. Move on? What a joke. He wasn't even sure he knew how.

"S-sakon-sama?"

Sakon turned his head to look at a brown-haired, pale-skinned kid, by the looks of his forehead protector—polished and scratch-free—and his height—shorter than Sakon—a graduate of the most recent academy class. The genin had a small scroll in hand and looked nervous, swallowing four times in succession and trembling faintly as all three of the elder Sound-nin looked him over. It was a little pathetic, but not particularly surprising. Tayuya's narrowed eyes and Kidoumaru's faintly manic grin was enough to make far more experienced shinobi a little edgy, and he probably wasn't looking particularly friendly himself.

Sakon realized this around the same time that he realized he was frowning. Unintentional or no, he didn't like being interrupted. He wondered who had told the boy where they were. "What is it?"

The genin held out the scroll. "I-I was told to give this to you. It's your new assignment. Sir."

Sakon took it. The genin bowed, stumbled a little as he backed away, then ran off. Sakon didn't bother to watch the kid go, pulling loose the tape that sealed the scroll before unrolling it and skimming his eyes over its contents. Then he blinked and looked again, squinting as he read the words a second time more slowly.

Kidoumaru, taking note of Sakon's bemused expression, grinned and scooted over on the pillar to get a good look over Sakon's shoulder at the scroll. "So, what did you get? Dishwasher? Bathroom inspector? Eater of substances recently removed from the underground lab?"

Sakon stuck the scroll into his kunai pouch before Kidoumaru managed to make out more than a sentence. "Not exactly. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my new quarters to take a shower and change. I'm a little sick of being dressed like a Leaf-nin."

Kidoumaru, not the least put out by Sakon's opaqueness, just gave the slighter Sound-nin a thumbs' up. "Good idea! Then you can finally take off your hitai-ate without being attacked on sight. I've gotta tell you, it's messing up your new haircut something awful."

----

Anko couldn't say she hadn't been expecting this. Gai told Kakashi pretty much everything, including the stuff most couples considered private. It might have bothered her, if she didn't do the same thing with Ibiki. Still… "Waiting until Gai left on a mission to talk to me isn't exactly filling me with confidence about your intentions, Kakashi."

She didn't bother looking away from the mirror as she washed her hands clean of the blood from her latest bout assisting her best friend with the interrogation of the shinobi they had captured during the invasion, this time working over a jounin that had been seen at the side of the Mizukage less than an hour before the Mist Village leader's death. She could see the copy-nin—leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom's entrance in his usual nonchalant pose—well enough in the glass's reflection.

Kakashi didn't seem bothered by her failure to turn around, using a small throwing kunai to clean his nails as he said, "Do you know why I let Gai marry you?"

Drying her hands on the towel next to the sink, Anko felt her nails dig sharply into the rough cotton. After a moment, she forced out a laugh. "_Let _Gai marry me? Who the hell do you think you are, Kakashi? Gai might value your opinion, for some reason I'm still not sure about, but he's not your fucking puppet."

"No," Kakashi agreed, holding his fingers up to the fluorescent light to see if he had missed any lingering dirt, "He's not. But he trusts me more than he trusts you. If I had told him it was a bad idea to stay with you, he would have listened."

Anko didn't reply. Mostly because she wasn't sure Kakashi was wrong. After a short pause, Kakashi continued with, "But I didn't, because you made him happy. But he isn't happy now, and that's because of you."

Anko turned around, the towel still gripped between her hands. "Not the most subtle of threats."

"I wasn't trying to be subtle." Kakashi wiped both sides of the kunai blade on a cleaning cloth before returning it to his weaponry pouch. "You get six months to fix it. That's it. If things aren't improved, your relationship with Gai will end."

Anko was very careful not to show she was shaking. The fucking _bastard_. "What do you think he'll say when I tell him about this little meeting?"

"He won't believe you." Kakashi's mask twitched in such a way Anko had come to recognize as a smirk. "You know how you exaggerate and twist things, Anko."

He was already out the door when Anko hissed after him, "You really think getting rid of me will change things between the two of you?"

Kakashi glanced over his shoulder, meeting her eyes for the first time. "No. But if you think that's why I'm doing this, you don't understand anything at all." Then he turned a corner, and was gone.

Five minutes later, Anko was in the surveillance room, staring down one of Ibiki's subordinates with as much restrained fury as she could muster. "What do you mean _I didn't catch it_?"

The chuunin shrugged helplessly. "I'm sorry, Anko-san, but the cameras in that bathroom and hallway cut out shortly before you walked in. They went back online just a minute ago. I've already sent someone down to check for explosives, but they didn't find anything even remotely suspicious, and procedure states that the incident is therefore not worth an inquiry."

Anko slammed her hand into the wall. If it hurt, she didn't notice. "Damn it to hell!"

----

Shikamaru collapsed onto the rock with a _thump_, sweat running down his face as he ripped off his new white cloak—his long coat had been left behind in Konoha, and already he was missing it (the cloak was way too big for him and was a pain to take off)—and put it behind his head to act as a pillow. He ignored the glare Kankuro shot his way for his failure to help set up the portable cooker to make lunch. This whole trip was beyond troublesome, and it was the Sand siblings that were used to this heat. Unreasonable to expect he'd do anything on their breaks but rest.

Of course, unreasonable was what the Sand siblings were. He had been waiting three days for Temari to tell him how visiting the ruins of Sand would alleviate his growing frustration with Leaf politics, hadn't pushed the issue at all, even back in Konohagakure when she had first proposed the idea of getting away for a while. It might not have even needed an explanation if it weren't for the destination. Of all the places he had considered spending his paid leave, a wreck of a village wasn't one of them.

Temari didn't need him along for her to pay her respects to the dead. She didn't even really need him along to offer support as she worked through her issues with her youngest brother. Kankuro was a much better choice, seeing as he was the only other person in the universe that could say, "Yeah, I know it sucked, I was there," and not be lying through his teeth. The weak excuse she had offered before—that it was important in some indefinable way for him to see where she had come from—didn't fly either. Sand Village was gone. Totaled. Lost to the ages. Whatever. However you put it, even if she wasn't a Leaf-nin, her home was in Konoha with Kankuro. He wasn't going to learn some fundamental truth about Sand-nin by seeing a bunch of their mummified corpses.

But despite how patiently he was being, she still hadn't told him a thing. They were halfway there, already into River Country, and she hadn't hinted at her true thoughts at all. She wasn't normally duplicitous, either. Something about meeting with Gaara was making her doubt something, either about herself or a decision she had made. Finding out why the youngest Sand sibling had destroyed Sunagakure would be valuable information—he hadn't been deceiving the Hokage when he told her he would try to delve into that—but it wasn't as important as the Godaime thought it was, and it wasn't why he had agreed to this trip so easily.

Shikamaru knew how the Akatsuki worked better than almost anyone in Leaf, he knew how the partnerships worked, and therefore knew that knowing Gaara's motivations wasn't as vital as knowing Naruto's. Gaara of before the Akatsuki was a completely different conundrum than Gaara of the after, for the very simple reason that Gaara of before didn't have a very tight, very strong, very blond and extremely impulsive leash chained permanently around his neck. If Naruto wanted the treaty between the Leaf and the Akatsuki to succeed—and from what Shikamaru had seen of him, Naruto really, really did—than Gaara would do nothing to interfere with that. End of story.

Shikamaru didn't give two shits about Gaara. Leash or no, the man was a borderline psychopath who had more than once crossed the threshold that made the word _borderline_ superfluous. Hell, Shikamaru had been there for two of those times. True, Naruto had also been present for both incidents, but Naruto had wells of acceptance and forgiveness Shikamaru couldn't hope to fathom, much less match. But Gaara was also, unfortunately, Temari's brother, so Shikamaru had come with her to see the aftermath of the red-haired jinchuuriki's latest and greatest breakdown, sleeping in tents and living off preserved food the entire way. This whole thing just reinforced what he'd known for years: women were a royal pain in the ass.

"Shikamaru. Shikamaru, you lazy bum, stop staring off into space and come eat! We're leaving in ten minutes, and we aren't going to wait around for you to finish eating your ramen when you didn't even help."

Pain. In. The. _Ass_. But Shikamaru still got up, even if he grumbled the entire way. The things he did for- "Coming."

----

Kakuzu waited fifteen minutes after being invited into the Akatsuki Commander's office—during which time he had been asked if his chair was comfortable (she knew it was), how he had been lately (fine), and whether he wanted some coffee (yes, he did; Hirayama Reiko had a seemingly endless supply of the best type of coffee bean from Lightning Country, which was quite a feat considering he had not once seen it listed on her monthly expense report)—before finally realizing that as usual when dealing with the former Stone-nin, he would have to make the first move.

"Reiko-san, I am sorry to rush you, but I still have some work to do before the meeting tonight. What do you need from me?"

Reiko, sipping at her own coffee, smiled pleasantly, but despite the (for her) meaningless expression she didn't waste time as she usually did with trivialities before getting to the point. "What can you tell me about your home village?"

Kakuzu kept his face blank. Most people knew better than to ask about Waterfall. Hirayama Reiko, for instance, knew better, but at the same time she had the rare—perhaps singular—privilege to not only be one of the few people he knew for sure would ask only for a good reason, but also to be someone Kakuzu trusted absolutely. "Can you be more specific?"

Reiko steepled her fingers. "Very well, Kakuzu-san. Why is it that, despite the country's current struggle to remain independent in the face of Earth and Rice Field's expansion, only two shinobi from their hidden village have defected to the Akatsuki and both of them before Waterfall started suffering trouble at its borders? Furthermore, why do both those shinobi number among the most powerful in our organization, despite Waterfall not having a reputation for producing extraordinary fighters?"

Hirayama Reiko only asked when she had a good reason. Which was why Kakuzu wasn't already out the door. "You are asking me to reveal the innermost secrets of my village."

"Ex-village."

"That doesn't matter. Tell me why you need to know, or I leave now."

For a moment, Reiko pursed her lips. "A secret for a secret?"

"If you like."

"Gin is a traitor."

Kakuzu's coffee cup froze halfway to his mouth. He had been right; she did have a good reason. He just wished it was a different one. "…I want you to promise me that this information will never be spoken of by you to anyone but me. And you'd better have more coffee. This will take a while." He didn't bother with threats. Reiko was very much aware of how thoroughly he could cripple the Akatsuki if he desired, but she also didn't care. He had been in charge of the Akatsuki's finances from the very beginning and was almost as invested in the organization as she was. It would take an insurmountable breach between them before he went as far as to destroy what had taken them years to build, a breach he would never allow even if she did break his confidence. And she knew it. But she would keep her silence, nonetheless. Kakuzu knew her well enough to know that.

"Of course I will. And I do."

"Alright then." Kakuzu wetted his lips with his tongue. Reiko didn't flinch. Of course, as far as Kakuzu knew, she was incapable of doing so, but it never hurt to make sure. He had never been able to respect people who were incapable of looking him in the face after he removed his mask.

Fortunately, his respect for Hirayama Reiko had never wavered. So he continued.

"As you are no doubt already aware, out of all the hidden villages, Waterfall is actually the only village whose location is actually secret, even from the country's daimyo. The reason for this is twofold. One," and Kakuzu raised one hand, letting the sleeve of his coat fall down to reveal the double ring of tattoos encircling his wrist, "Each shinobi upon graduation receives these with his forehead protector, and two, every outsider who has come across the entrance to the village has died.

"Non-shinobi don't leave Waterfall. They don't need to. They are more protected there than anywhere else, and despite our small population, land-wise we are probably the biggest and certainly one of the most fertile. But shinobi are the ones who bring in the money, and therefore need to go out into the world to take on missions. Waterfall's location is one of its greatest treasures, so the shinobi are sealed against speaking or writing of it. Even thinking about it too much can activate the seals, causing extraordinary amounts of pain, paralysis, or in extreme cases, death.

"As you might imagine, this makes returning to Waterfall after missions rather difficult, and many shinobi would be hard-pressed to go home at all if it weren't for the Hero Water."

Reiko, who had remained silent up until that point, didn't show any visible reaction to the mention of the legendary artifact, though she did say mildly, "I take it the myth doesn't quite line up with reality."

Kakuzu shook his head. "Not exactly. The Hero Water does, as is told of in the stories, increase one's strength, stamina, and speed. It does this not by increasing the chakra of those who drink it but by making it easier to access the chakra already there, which usually leads to the village's shinobi running through their energy stores very quickly, even without using jutsus, which is why we are known for strike missions as they don't take a great deal of time.

"The Hero Water isn't what I'd call rare, either. No one knows why, but literally all the water in Waterfall is what outsiders call Hero Water. It can't be escaped. In some places it's less potent—in general, the closer you get to the center of the village, the less effective the water is—but everyone is exposed to the Hero Water even before they are born.

"However, there are two essential truths about Hero Water that you may be the first outsider to learn about since the village's founding. One, Hero Water is one of the most effective poisons on the planet. Waterfall Village denizens build up immunity throughout their lives, but even for them, leaving Waterfall is impossible until around the age of thirteen." Kakuzu could feel his wrists begin to burn; he ignored it. "The Hero Water is strongest at the village's entrance. I cannot tell you the exact details," Literally; last time he had tried to write down directions he had been in a coma for a week, "But Waterfall is accessed through underwater tunnels, meaning you are exposed to the Water at its highest concentration for several minutes while leaving or entering the village. The first time genin exit the village on missions, they often conceive a mild version of what you know to be radiation poisoning. Outsiders who have the misfortune of finding the tunnel leading to Waterfall and try to swim in it or drink it die within seconds as the Water eats them alive."

Kakuzu allowed himself a bitter smile. "We don't have poisoners in Waterfall. The Hero Water is all our shinobi have ever needed, as the speed at which it kills people is based on how diluted it is. If the Hero Water at Waterfall's entrance is mixed one part per thousand with regular water, it can take days after drinking it for the inner lining of the target's stomach and intestines to dissolve. There is no known cure.

"The second essential truth is like many poisons, Hero Water is an addictive substance. The cravings start just days after one leaves and are almost completely irresistible after two weeks. The most common type of criminal punishment in Waterfall is banishment, the period of time based on the severity of the crime. It takes on average three weeks for someone on the outside to go insane. In four weeks they die when their circulatory system fails and their organs cease to work. The process can be staved off by bringing the Hero Water along on long-term mission, but the Hero Water away from the source only remains effective for a few months before turning back to regular water. This is another reason for the seals; without them, a captured Waterfall-nin would tell his captors anything they wanted to know in exchange for being let free to return home."

Reiko raised an eyebrow, the most facial movement she had shown since Kakuzu had started. "That begs the question, then: how did you survive leaving the village? You weren't in the best shape when I met you fifteen years ago, but you certainly didn't seem near death."

Kakuzu sipped his coffee, by that point lukewarm. "Organ replacement. Dialysis. Weaning off the Hero Water with water from the outside. Drugs to control the schizophrenia and hallucinations. Even now I still have cravings, and I did every conceivable thing to help rid myself of the addiction to the Hero Water. If what you're asking is how Gin escaped, I have no idea. They tightened up the restrictions against leaving the village for prolonged periods of time even more after it was made known I made it out alive, and I would know if Gin went to the lengths I did. That kind of extensive surgery leaves marks that aren't easily hidden."

Reiko nodded thoughtfully. "True. The medic that examined Gin when he first came to Kaizen actually told me afterwards that Gin has the most flawless skin he'd ever seen on shinobi. I did not think much on it then, but perhaps he has some ability he hadn't seen fit to put in his file. It is not uncommon. We are all missing-nin, after all, which doesn't make us the most trusting group, even for shinobi."

Kakuzu put down his cup; even the best hot beverage wasn't much good cold. "Maybe, but the only special talent I know of that Gin has is his bloodline limit. You've seen it, the water and ice manipulation he was using at his elite trials four years ago. His family's actually originally from Mist, but they had to leave during the bloodline purges thirty years ago after most of their clan was culled, and some of them came to Waterfall. Somehow our leader managed to integrate them into the community without the Hero Water killing more than a few of them… he never did tell anyone how he pulled that off. Gin was part of the first generation of his clan born in Waterfall. I'm not sure how his kekkei genkai would help resist the Hero Water addiction or keep him from becoming scarred, though."

It was then that the leader of the Akatsuki did something rather incongruous with the way the conversation had been going; she glanced at her clock. "Ah, it looks like we're out of time if we don't want to be late to the Council meeting." She stood up and held out her hand to shake. "Thank you so much for this information, Kakuzu-san. It will be put to good use, I assure you."

Kakuzu stared at the hand for a minute before meeting Reiko's eyes. "You aren't going to tell me what Gin did to betray us, are you."

Reiko's habitual slight smile vanished as completely as if it had never been there at all; she let her hand drop. "No. You already know more than you strictly need to. I've already told you more than anyone except Zetsu. This is not something I can allow to become widely known. Gin and Yasuo may yet return to Kaizen if they believe their treachery to still be uncovered; we cannot let take the chance of them being warned off."

Kakuzu nodded, reluctantly. "I understand." And he did. That didn't mean he had to like it.

----

It had taken Sasuke ten minutes to explore his new quarters, and by the end of his self-guided tour he had concluded two things: One, despite the place being bigger than where he had lived back in Leaf, it did not have a large enough kitchen to justify being called an apartment, which meant there had to be a communal dining hall he would have to eat in at some point, and two, Sound-nin as a population were colorblind. The walls and ceiling were painted dark purple, the carpet was violet, the bedspread and pillows were a soft maroon, and the only article of clothing in the closet was a pink sleeping yukata decorated with stylized roses. Which fit perfectly, but that was beside the point. Pink was _not _his color. When he visited the tailor tomorrow to be outfitted for a new wardrobe, there was no chance he was letting the man decide his new color scheme.

Of course, for his shinobi gear, he might not have many options. From what Sasuke had seen of Sound-nin in uniform, the color spectrum was fairly limited, running from black to purple to gray to tan to white, with the camo consisting of some mix of the aforementioned range. Which meant, unfortunately, that his usual blue was out.

Sasuke was considering the likelihood of getting his clan symbol getting sewn on the back of at least some of his shirts (low; he would probably have to buy some red cloth from a civilian tailor and stitch it on himself) when he heard a knock at the door. He opened it half-expecting there to be some genin standing there with his dinner, or at least directions to the nearest cafeteria. Instead, he got Sakon.

Sasuke stared down at the elder Sound-nin. When he had envisioned seeing Sakon again after they had parted ways back in Orochimaru's office, it had always been at some point several weeks in the future, them coming across each other in some deserted hallway, looking at each other awkwardly, exchanging a few curt words, then parting ways with a silent hope on both their parts that they never see the other again. It had never occurred to him that Sakon would visit only a few hours after being discharged from his duty as Sasuke's bodyguard, apparently just after taking a shower and changing out of his Leaf-nin disguise into… a purple flak jacket, black shirt, black pants, black gloves, and black sandals. Damn it. Didn't look like Sasuke was going to get any sympathy from that quarter.

Sakon, for his part, was staring back, though not meeting Sasuke's eyes so much as… "What are you wearing?"

Sasuke was suddenly very conscious of the fact that he hadn't bothered changing out of the yukata after putting it on after his own shower, and that he still had a (purple, yet again) towel hanging around his neck. "I… what, did you expect me to change back into the clothes I wore here?"

Sakon shrugged, finally dragging his eyes away from the decorative flower design going up and down Sasuke's sleeves. "I suppose not. So are you going to invite me in or not?"

Sasuke didn't. "What are you doing here, Sakon?"

Sakon's eyes narrowed. "I live down the hall, you moron. All the upper-level shinobi have been moved to quarters in the same building until the Tower has been rebuilt. I came by to talk, but what I'll be doing is _leaving_ if you don't stop acting like an ass."

Sasuke stepped to the side. Sakon nodded at him politely. "Thank you." He walked past Sasuke, gave a cursory glance around (bedroom straight ahead, currently standing in the pathetic little kitchen with matching pathetic little stove, oven, and refrigerator), then seated himself at what could possibly pass for the kitchen table, if only because there wasn't much else to call it. "Your place is bigger than mine."

"That's because I outrank you," Sasuke pointed out, leaning against the wall. "So why are you really here? You never came to see me before to 'just talk.'"

"I was technically under your command before."

"And I'm sure the fact that you're now not has changed you fundamentally as a person." It really was too easy to fall back into the old pattern of insults. It was also something Sasuke knew he couldn't allow. Things _weren't_ the same, and allowing himself to think they were was a mistake. "If you came by to see if I'd messed up yet, don't hold your breath. I'm fine without your help."

There was an odd note to Sakon's voice as he replied, "Funny, about that. It turns out Orochimaru-sama disagrees."

Sasuke blinked. That… hadn't been what he'd been expecting. "What?"


End file.
